You just met someone amazing and this guy/girl is different from all of the others. The stakes are raised and you may find yourself scrambling. Should I call? Should I text? Should I email? Where to go? What to do? How to behave? What do you do on the perfect date???? Here are five tips to make this simple and easy.

#1. You Don’t Have to Break the Bank.

Spending a lot of money on first date is a big no-no because it often gives the wrong impression. If you have to spend a ton of money to have fun then you are missing the point of a first date, which is to connect and get to know him/her better. If you’re rich, resist the urge to flaunt how much money you have. Don’t feel the need to do something extravagant just because you really like the person. It can come across as “try hard” and can be a real turn off. To find fun and inexpensive first date ideas, see my Best First Date Ideas.

#2. Avoid The Pressure Cookers

A first date can be a very high pressure situation for a lot of people, especially for those who don’t date a lot or usually date people they have been friends with first. Never call it a “date.” I like to say “Let’s grab a drink” or “Let’s go check out xyz.” I may even tease her and follow up the invitation with “You better not get me drunk and take advantage of me, I’m not as easy as I look! ?” Avoid going out on a Friday or Saturday Night. On those nights, you will have tons of competition and high expectations. I prefer the weeknights. If he/she is meeting with you for a date, you can assume that they are already attracted to you.

#3. Genuine Curiosity Is the Key To Great Conversation

If you are a good conversationalist you don’t have to worry, but a lot of folks start spewing out job interview style questions when they get nervous or tongue-tied. Genuine curiosity is the key, which is about looking beyond appearances and literally taking the time to see what is under the surface. Every person is filled with incredible stories so long as you just get curious and ask the right questions. If you just look around and ask yourself, “What is her story? What do I want to know about him?” you might be surprised what you find out. I have learned more about women than most could ever imagine simply by being curious. The key here is to be genuinely curious as opposed to using agenda based curiosity. We have a tendency to make talking to the opposite sex too complicated. We think we have to be clever and creative. We need the perfect words to impress him/her so that she will be attracted. It’s not about the words so stop trying so hard. It’s the feeling behind the words that is important. Just relax feel the curiosity for the person sitting beside you and ask a question that really intrigues you and it will hit home. The other important thing to remember is to never sit across from your date because it makes physical contact impossible or potentially awkward. Avoid awkward hard chairs or sitting across from them at a table. Find a comfortable seat in an environment that isn’t too noisy.

#4. Keep it One on One.

Meeting up with his/her friends is a bad idea because it is an intimacy killer. Unless it was agreed on from the start that it would be that kind of date, don’t do it, it’s the kiss of death. If he/she will not agree to meet you alone, it’s almost always a sure-fire sign that they are not interested in dating you in the first place. A good date should always start out light, fun and comfortable and move in the direction of increased sexual tension. This is impossible with a group of people. Venue changing is another sure-fire way keep the energy high and add in a little suspense. If you visit multiple venues on your date, it will make each of you feel more comfortable with one another. It will also start to feel like you’ve known your date for a longer time because travel (no matter how short the distance) fosters a connection. Be adventurous and keep hopping around, it will be tons of fun.

#5. Be Bold

Being bold can appear in many different forms. I am using the term very loosely to
mean, “anything that creates sexual tension.” If your date liked you enough to agree to a date in the first place, then you can assume that they are attracted to you. The biggest mistake I constantly watch people make is failing to take a risk and make a move. If you decide to make a move and go for the kiss only two things can happen. It will work out and you’ll be glad you went for it, or you will find out that he/she is not that interested and you can move on. Time is more important than a bruised ego and you can save a lot of it by making things happen quickly. If you don’t at least go for the kiss on the first date, the relationship is headed quickly towards the dreaded friends’ zone. Sometimes, you may get denied but it doesn’t always mean “No,” it usually means “Not yet.” Plus, you get major points for trying and putting yourself out there.

Over the past year, Brian and I have been helping guys strip away the anxiety and nervousness they feel around women.  In no time at all, a huge percentage of these guys have completely turned their social lives around and last week I took 4 clients out to a college type bar in Hollywood called Happy Endings to see how they’d do in a high energy environment.  This bar is basically filled with college girls, a lot of them looked underage and frat boy types.  The music is loud, the drinks are cheap and everyone gets wasted playing beer pong and flip cup.  Yeah, I told you… College bar!

Of the 4 clients I had with me, one of them clearly had a way higher level of anxiety and nervousness, yet over the course of the evening, he made out with multiple women including 2 girls at once and had the time of his life!  Lets call him Client A.  Interestingly, the client who had the least amount of anxiety and the best communication skills had a very tough time in that environment.  Lets call him Client B.  This lead me to a realization…

Even though client B had way less anxiety, better communication skills, more money, rockin style and a grounded energy, he was not able to let go, get out of his head and have fun in that sort of crazy environment.  Now, if we had been out meeting women during the day at Nordstroms, client B would have had a MUCH easier time then client A.  I noticed what was going on that night, so rather then instructing client B to do a bunch of approaches which would have failed miserably, I instructed him to stare at a flyer I found on the floor and talk jibberish to it until it made him laugh.  After a minute, he substantially let go of all his thoughts and got out of his head enough to start connecting with the crazy people in the bar.  But the concept of not thinking logically and acting like a total idiot was so foreign to him that staying in that state was very difficult.

If you are wondering what the point of all of this is then I’ll let you have it.  I constantly meet analytical guy after analytical guy that wants to get better with women and rock the bar and club scene but they are looking for a logical and analytical way to approach it.  This is why analytical approaches, techniques and step by step systems WILL NOT work if you’re in your head.  So the next time you are out, forget all that mumbo jumbo bullshit that these pickup artists are preaching to you and just try to let go, be crazy, make a fool of yourself and have some fun.  Meeting women in a bar should be crazy, fun, exciting and completely insane, and if its not, I guarantee you are sucking and not having a good time.

Watch this video to learn how to get over the fear of rejection.

Hey Guys,

If you are in the LA/Socal Area, don’t miss your last chance of the year to get the FREE training you need to find that special lady for the holiday season.  Halloween just passed and if you found yourself oogling over all those sexy costumes, then stop oogling and get your butt off the couch and learn to the vital skills to attracting women.

FREE WORKSHOP TOMORROW (THURSDAY, NOV 5th 6:45-10PM, Marina Del Rey)

“Give Us Just One Day and We’ll Teach You How To Be Truly Confident and Powerful On The Inside And DRAW BEAUTIFUL SEXY WOMEN Into Your Life and Into Your Bed”

Whether you are just starting out or starting to burn out, You will:

•    The three Master Keys to becoming a naturally attractive man who has CHOICE with women.
•    You’re going to discover how to be magnetic, compelling, and charismatic, all by being genuinely you…
•    How you can create instant connection that leads to hot sex and why connection matters more then anything you say to a woman.
•    Exactly why women love to resist you and how you can actually use this to your advantage in a way that will only make them even more attracted to you.
•    Warning! What NOT to do if you want to start conversations with ease and grace… no matter how many other “gurus” tell you to do this!
•    How to unlock your authentic masculine presence and really understand how it will feel for you to be an alpha male.

To get more information go to www.InnerConfidence.com/seminar and CLAIM your FULL SCHOLARSHIP TODAY

Seeya then, or not,

Robbie

You are .003% away from being great with women… This article was posted today in the Inner Confidence Forums, it is a must read if you are looking to improve your relationships.

LET’S GET REAL
by Jeff Olson

“Okay, doubling a penny in a story is all very well. But I don’t see anyone offering to double my money every day for a month, not in real life. Besides, even if I could get compound interest on a money account, how am I supposed to add up compound interest in health, or relationships, or knowledge?”

Fair enough. Let’s change the question. Forget about doubling for a minute, and let’s forget about compound interest, too, for the moment. Let’s just add a penny every day, not double the penny. Do you think you could improve yourself-your health, your knowledge, your skills, your diet, your relationships, whatever area of life you want to look at – just one percent?

Wait – before you answer that, let’s make it even smaller. What if you were able to improve yourself, today, just three-tenths of one percent? That’s a 0.003 improvement – a very Slight Edge indeed. So slight, in fact, you might have a hard time even knowing how to measure it.

Now, what if you did that again tomorrow, and the next day, and kept it up every day for the next year? Remember, you’re not going to add up compound interest this time, you’re just adding on another three-tenths of one percent each day.

Here’s what will happen. The first day you’ll improve by 0.003, so little it will probably be impossible to notice. The second day, your improvement will be 0.006; the next day, 0.009, almost a full one percent. And by the end of the year, you will have improved by one hundred percent.

Doubled.

You will be twice what you are today – twice as fit, twice as wealthy, twice as skilled, twice as happy…twice as whatever it is you’ve been working on, in whatever areas you apply your daily three-tenths-percent effort. Twice the you, in just one year!

If you give yourself a year to do it, you can become twice the person you are today. Imagine having twice the net worth, twice the personal relationships, twice the health. Making twice the positive impact on the world. Having twice as much fun and enjoying twice the quality of life.

How could you possibly accomplish this? By trying twice as hard? Working twice as many hours? Have twice as positive an attitude? No – by improving three-tenths of one percent at a time.

Every day, in every moment, you get to exercise choices that will determine whether or not you will become a great person, living a great life. Greatness is not something predetermined, predestined or carved into your fate by forces beyond your control. Greatness is always in the moment of the decision.

But you have to start with a penny. And that’s the great and tragic irony of it, the sad and terrible tale of the ninety-five percent: that little penny seems so insignificant, so small, so silly…why even bother to bend over and pick it up? After all…

Can you imagine walking into your bank to deposit a single penny into a savings account? Can you imagine looking in your savings account, deposit box or piggy bank, and finding a balance of $0.01? It might as well be a balance of zero, right? How much difference is there, right? I mean, we’re talking about one penny! What could you buy with a penny?

You just might be able to buy financial freedom for the rest of your life.

– Jeff Olson So ask yourself, what can I do tomorrow to make this happen?  And what can I do the day after that, and the day after that.  Chances are you will make it a few days and then quit.  Lets change that, for a limited time, our forums are going to be open to anyone on our mailing list.  So join while it is still free.  Sign up on our blog at http://innerconfidence.com/blog/forum and post your plan of action to get the support you need. - Robbie

Why do some men get good with women in 3 months when it took me 3 years? Read on for a chance to qualify for a FREE Coaching Call to DRASTICALLY IMPROVE YOUR RESULTS FAST.

I recently looked back on my 3-year journey of becoming a man who has CHOICE with women and made a startling DISCOVERY…

I asked myself the question: “Why did it take 3 years to get good?” I mean, 3-years is a LONG time and I remember how it felt. Sometimes I felt like I was improving at a light-speed but most of the time, it seemed like nothing was changing. I realized that all the progress I made happened in 3 distinct months… but those 3 months were scattered throughout the 3-year period. This led me to a fascinating discovery….

I realized that I was only taking the consistent action that was inline with my goals about 1/10th of the time! The rest of the time, I was taking action, but I wasn’t sure exactly what to do and I didn’t know whom to turn to. My friends gave me advice and I did a lot of trial and error but most of the time it felt like I was dragging myself through the mud.

The interesting thing I noticed is that I would only really improve when I knew EXACTLY WHAT TO WORK ON. You see, practice makes perfect, but if your practicing the wrong things, or not practicing at all, you might even start to slip backwards.

Do you REALLY know what you should be working on to improve and get this stuff handled?

If not, then I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR YOU. Brian and I know the importance of getting off your butt and taking action. It is a masculine quality that 99.9% of guys who are good with women have. So here is your chance to get in action and it starts right now.

If you take a few minutes to answer these questions and submit your response, you will be eligible to receive a FREE 1-Hour Coaching Evaluation with either myself or Brian. In the call we get to the heart of some of your challenges with women, and help you evaluate an appropriate course of action moving forward. I can’t promise that we will be the perfect match solution for your particular situation, but I can promise you’ll leave with a much better understanding of what is holding you back and what can help you. That means you won’t have to waste tons of time and money on programs that won’t ultimately help you to achieve your goal in the fastest way possible. It is a $149 dollar value but it’s free IF you reply within the next four days. We will not be able to respond to everyone so we will choose who we think will benefit the most from the call based on your answers. Here are the five questions:

1. How long have you been in the dating community and why did you join? (be specific)

2. What is your biggest frustration with your ability to meet women right now?

3. Does this same problem/frustration effect the other areas of your life? How so?

4. What have you been doing in the last month to improve? Has it been working? Why/Why Not?

5. What do you want instead? What do you think is a realistic goal for you over the next month?

If you take the time to answer these questions, I GUARANTEE you will be glad you did. The first step to change is awareness, so by answering these questions, you have already taken the first step. Please put “Evaluation Call” in the subject line and submit your responses to info@innerconfidence.com and we’ll let you know if you are eligible for the coaching assessment.

Now get off your butt and take some action!

-Robbie Kramer

P.S. – Remember this advice is valued at $149, so please don’t wait to review all the material or try every technique out before you try to reach us.

Unless you are living under a rock, I’m sure you have heard of the phrase ‘paralysis by analysis.’  Are you guilty of it?

Lets take a common scenario…

You’re out for lunch and you see a beautiful girl window shopping.  You strain to check out her long, tan luscious legs and you are feeling your attraction to her in your gut.  Part of you wants to approach and the little voice in your head says… “go talk to her, she is super hot.”  But then another little voice says “Yeah right, she wouldn’t like you, you are ugly, she Is way out of your league.  Besides, she is probably busy and has a boyfriend and doesn’t want to be bothered, and I’m actually really in a hurry and don’t have time to talk to her anyway.  And even if I did, it might be considered cheating on this girl that I went on a date with 2 months ago and never called me back.”  Has this ever happened to you?  If you said no, you are a POS liar!

**note** pos = piece of shit

Some people might label this approach anxiety, or the fear of rejection, but I’m gonna go ahead and label it something completely different:  TYPICAL BEHAVIOR

You see, whenever you set your sights on a task, and you perceive the task as much more difficult then other tasks you have ever encountered, you are going to start freaking out.  If you struggle with women, and by struggle I mean, get laid less then once a month, go on less then 10 dates a year if you are single or have not had a relationship in the last 3 years that has lasted longer then a night, then trying to approach a woman I described above is going to be a MUCH more difficult task then you are prepared to accomplish.  If you have never played basketball before, would it be smart to play 1 on 1 vs. Kobe Bryant?

So here is my advice…  If you are approaching a lot of women with very little to show for it, or you aren’t approaching women at all, then STOP, because it is making you worse!

Its making you worse because there is a little thing in your head controlling your thoughts and actions.  Its called your Unconscious Mind.  It is 90% more powerful then your conscious mind and you are most likely a slave to it.  It controls you.  Without getting scientific or technical, lets just say that all of those voices that tell you not to approach steam from the unconscious mind.  So if your unconscious mind is not in alignment with what you want, then its time to change that!

How do you change it?

Its pretty simple, you start to have experiences that challenge your belief systems.  To give you one example, how do you think having the experience of COMPLETELY not caring what other people thought of you would change your belief system?  Its what we call not being validation seeking.  You might have heard a term like that before tossed around the inner game community and you can bet your ass its 100x more important than having a good DHV story.  One thing you can do right now to change your belief system is go out of the house and approach 3 people with the intent to get them to say “NO” to you.  And when they do, pat yourself on the back.  The more daring you are, the more you will get out of this.  And there are tons of exercises like these, but unfortunately, meeting and attracting women is not a solo sport, so you’re gonna need some guidance and coaching if you really want to break your patterns and become unconsciously good with women.

Brian and I are putting on a workshop on Nov. 5th where we will be doing exercises that give you an experience of having control over your unconscious, it starts with Inner Confidence Re-Pattering™.  You’ll get not just the tools but the actual experience of what it feels like to be an attractive man.  For more info, CLICK HERE.

Hope to see you there!

-Robbie

Posted in the IC Forums by CDub

Today I had a great experience of how the work I’m doing with IC improves not just my success with women, but also in business. Over the last two weeks, I’ve done 14 hours of sessions and it’s paying off. I do IT consulting and today I had an appointment at an office filled with women.

Even at work, women love banter. I kept it light since it was at an office, but they ate up anyways. I walk up to the counter:

You kinda look like a Chammie. Are you Chammie?
Girl 1: [Laughes.] No I’m not Chammie.
Girl 2: I’m Chammie!
Oh. You look more like a Channy.  [It was a stupid joke, but they both laughed.]  Anyways, do you know what Tasha looks like?
[Laughes again.] Yes! Let me buzz her.

Tasha (a white girl) comes around the corner, but is a little preoccupied with some paperwork.

Girl 1: She doesn’t look like a Tasha, does she?  She’s not black!
No she doesn’t look like a Tasha, but I’m sure she’s got a diva inside her.  [It was extra funny because she was pregnant.]
[Laughes.] Yeah, look at that tummy!
Yeah, she’s all knocked up!  [The comment was a little crude for the workplace, but I calibrated from their reactions to my banter that it was OK to be a little more edgy and go there.]
[They laugh hard.]

Tasha: What did you say? [She heard the girls laugh, but didn't hear my comment.]
I said that I knocked on the door and no one answered.
[The two girls at the front desk laugh some more.]

From here, I get walked into the private office where I have my tech stuff to do.  I work on that for 30 minutes or so and then the Office Manager woman walks in and is very friendly towards me.  (She was in the adjacent office and heard/saw the positive reactions from the girls at the front desk earlier when we were bantering.)

Hey, you work for a tech company.  We’re looking to replace our main IT guy because they’re horrible.  They’re too small of an operation and can’t handle all the complex stuff we have going on.
Oh yeah.  We can do that.  I bet they don’t have any company polo shirts like this one I’m wearing.
[Laughes.]  No they don’t.  And I don’t think they really know what they’re doing.
Yeah, I’m kinda surprised you guys asked me to come in here and sync this BlackBerry using the cable.  All our BlackBerries are synchronized wirelessly in real-time nowadays.  No one in business uses cables to sync anymore.
Really?  You should come over to my house and set mine up like that.
I don’t know…we don’t really do house calls [with a naughty smirk on my face].
Oh…[while processing the sexual innuendo].
[After holding the tension for a couple of seconds] What are you going to make for dinner?
I’m an excellent cook!  No meat though.  I’m vegetarian.  Sometimes I do fish.
Oh that’s awesome.  I took vegan cooking lessons for some time.  My favorite thing to make is quinoa.  I can cook fish too, but not with a pan because I can’t get both sides to cook evenly.  I only know how to cook it using my George Foreman Grill.
[Laughes.]
Anyways, what do we do next in order for you to show us what tech stuff you got going on and how we can help?

And the rest of the conversation goes into the logistics of setting up a meeting.  I later overhear her reporting to the owner that I’m “amazing!”

All this might sound like I’m tooting my own horn here, but I wanted to share this because it illustrates something interesting that I hadn’t really consciously experienced prior to doing this work with IC.  Her excitement about my tech services had virtually nothing to do with my technical ability.  In our above conversation, I make one small technical comment and the other 95% of the interaction had nothing to do with technology.

I had a touch of sass with my banter, but was mostly just grounded and connected.  And it’s amazing that with just having that way of being, I conveyed competence (the ability to get things done) and authority on my industry. It was more than enough to be considered a strong candidate for replacing their current tech guys and get my foot in the door to get that meeting.

So the moral of the story: This stuff changes not just your dating life, but everything else around it also gets better.