Team IC Finally Together in NY! from Robbie Kramer on Vimeo.

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I was talking to a friend the other day about some girl trouble he was having. He told me about this date he went on where he took a hottie to a beach with a six pack of beer and just hung out and talked. Everything was going great for him, they were flirting, holding hands, and really enjoying each others company. He leaned in for the kiss and it went great but shortly therafter the date started to unravel. After the kiss, she started saying things, “I’m not sure where this is going, I’m not really ready for a relationship.” and “I don’t ussually kiss guys on a first date.” After this happened, he didn’t really know how to respond nor would most guys in this tough situation. To us guys, a kiss is ussually no big deal and were not ussually thinking about where things are going or what comes next. The only thing on our mind at that point is sex and how were gonna get it, haha! But its a whole different story for women.

After hearing this story, a really important peice of psychological information I learned from Lance Mason came to mind. He told me that everyone has two sides, a logical side and an emotional side. Men tend to spend much more time on the logical side then women and vice versa, women are much more emotional. He categorized these two states for women in a really interesting way. Here are the two defintions.

1. Emotional Side = Anime Girl. Picture one of those really feminine Japanese Anime Girl Cartoons with the big eyes. The anime girl is like a raging ball of emotion. She is full of energy and is always either REALLY happy or REALLY sad. There isn’t much middle ground, and her mood is painfully obvious. Anime girl is living completely in the moment and does not care or even notice what is going on around her or what people might be thinking of her. She is like a 4 year old in a candy store who is happy if she gets what she wants and sad otherwise.

2. Logical Side = Nun. I’m sure that everyone can picture a nun. A nun is a person highly governed by society. Every step she takes is judged and if she does not act perfectly she is critisized by society. She is constantly aware of how she is viewed by others and only cares about how she is being judged. The nun is always wary of the rules that women are supposed to follow. “Dont kiss a guy on a first date,” “Wait a month before sleeping with a guy,” “Go on X number of dates and make him buy you X number of dinners before sleeping with him.” “Don’t go out with him unless he gives you at least 3 days notice.” etc. etc. etc…. the list goes on. These are no nescessarly rules that women want to live by nor did women even make these up. But if they don’t follow them or act up to society’s standards, they are labeled “sluts.” There is nothing worse then being labeled a “slut” for a woman so the nun is always there to protect them and tell them what to do.

When a woman is having fun and living in the moment, her anime girl is doing all the talking, but otherwise, the nun is governing her life. If you are on a date, who would you rather interact with??? Stupid question, I know, but what do you do if the nun comes out? What should my friend have done?

There’s no really easy answer or way to shut the nun up. The biggest mistake guys make is try to argue or use logic to deal with the nun, but as guys, that is what our instincts tell us to do. For example, if the nun says “I ussually don’t kiss on the first date, im not really sure I’m ready for a relationship right now.” The worst thing to do is say “Oh, its not a big deal, i don’t want a relationship either, blah blah blah.” You can’t convince the nun that society won’t judge her, or to change her view or to not care, because she has no choice in the matter. This is why logical argument won’t work no matter how hard you try or how right you think you are. Even if it makes perfect sense to you, it doesn’t matter most of the time. So think about it for a second before you read on… what should you do?

Just relax and have fun with her. When you sense that you are interacting with her nun, start flirting with her. For example, lets take my friends scenario. After the kiss when the nun came out, he could have started bantering with her. “Oh my god, did I really just kiss you on the first date?! I didn’t even get a note from my mom! I can’t belive im such a filthy man whore, you didnt even buy me dinner yet!” Then tackle her and kiss her again when she is laughing. After that he could have said, “Wow, I can’t believe how bad I am, you are a terrible influence, get your mind out of the gutter.” This is obviosuly so ridiculous and over the top, you will crack her up. When she is laughing and having fun, you are interacting with anime girl. Also, if you are having a meaningful conversation and really getting to know each other on an emotional level, you are interacting with anime girl. So it doesn’t have to be all fun and games. That is why the usual everyday date conversations are so dull, “what do you do?” “what is your major.” etc. its too logical and boring.

If you can just have fun with her and stay in the moment when she calls her friend the next day to tell her how the date went the conversation will go like this. “Ya I don’t really know what happened, he was really funny and we were just laughing and getting to know each other the whole time and I dont really know what happened. Before I knew what happened we ended up back at my place and we were hooking up. He was so different then most guys…”

Everybody wins! If you have questions about this and want to thank me for enlightening you or think i’m a complete retard and this post is a bunch of bullshit leave me a comment.

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You ever notice the guy that is clearly “sharking” through the room looking for his next “target” girl to hit on?  Well chances are that if you are a guy reading this and you have noticed it happening, then women noticed it 10 times earlier then you.  Face it guys, when it comes to social dynamics and picking up on subtle shifts in energy, women have a serious leg up on you.  While we were out on the soccer feild at recess they were talking about social stuff so without years and year of training, you have no shot.  Fortunately for you, Brian and I have had years and years of training so we can break it all down.

So what if you are THAT GUY who is sharking around?  Don’t worry about it, i’ve been that guy MANY times in the past.  Sometimes it even worked out for me, but that was rare.  Think of the coolest guys in the bar or club, what is their demeanor like?  Chances are they are chilling and just being open, social and friendly.  Well what if you don’t have cool friends or friends to go out with at all?  Then you should start meeting them right then and there.  STOP sharking and looking for women and START talking to EVERYONE!  Becoming naturally attractive is not a quick fix, there is no technique.  Its a muscle you have to build, just like weightlifting.  You can make progress in the short term but you can’t get big in a day, you can’t get big in a weekend, and you can’t even get big in a week.  It will take AT LEAST a month if not 90 days to see dramatic results.  To build your social muscle you must start exercising it…

Practice simply making eye contact with strangers if that is tough for you.  If you look a little too long at a guy and it gets intense, just say, sorry I thought you were an old friend   Start talking to strangers, just say hi, ask for the time, ask for directions.  I DONT CARE HOW GOOD YOU ARE!  I constantly remind myself to be social and do these types of exercises because its so easy to fall back into the abyss of everyday life, people walking around in their anti social bubbles of ipods and earphones.

What i’m saying is, STEP INTO TENSION.  Learning the art of managing tension is the single most important thing you need to become powerfully attractive to women.  Think of your “managing tension muscle” as the “biceps of weightlifting.”  We broke it down for you in the two videos on our main site, check out the video HERE and download our mini-ebook on “Top 1o Mistakes Men Make While Trying to Improve Their Situation With Women.”  The following page features the second part of the video and will teach you all about managing tension and what you need to do right now to master it.  Above all, don’t forget to have fun!

-Robbie

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Watch the video, Click Here

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