“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body but, rather, to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO! What a Ride!’ – One of my favorite quotes.  Life is all about pushing your comfort zone, if you live life trying to be comfortable and avoid confrontation, you will end up with very little, but if you face challenges head on and do something that pushes your boundaries each day, you will make a huge impact in this world.  One of the best ways for a man to push his comfort zone is to approach women.  Changing how people respond to you and how women perceive you is a fun journey that can lead to crazy adventures.  If you are still hanging by the bar and noticing all the pretty girls passing you by, bumping into you and smiling in your direction and you’re playing the mister too cool for school game then it’s time take some initiative. How far has holding up the wall and nursing your drink gotten you?

1.  Its part of your biology.

Men are expected to approach, which is an extension of their provider and protector’s evolutionary hunter and gatherer-type traits. The attractive men went after what they wanted while the weaker men died off due to not fulfilling their gender roles. Women are expected to filter out men; while they become more attractive their filtering systems become more complex. You too can develop a filtering system to find great women.  It is no longer ‘does she like me?’ but, ‘do I like her?’ and this causes her to invest in the interaction and investment equals attraction on your part.

2. You have high value.

You have high value if you believe you do.  This is the most simple yet most complex concept guys spend years trying to figure out. It’s just that easy. You decide whether you have high personal value or not. As soon as you feel like you deserve the best, you act like you deserve the best, and you will tend to get the best. You are now seeing what the world has to offer you.  Find the value in other people.  Instead of thinking about how badly you want the attractive woman in front of you, ask yourself like “What can I learn from this person, what makes her tick?”

3. Rejection is a good thing.

We all get rejected.  Some people are so scared of rejection that they completely avoid life.  I don’t care what you want but if you don’t ask for it, you will never get it.  In order to get a “Yes” you must be willing to risk hearing the word “No.”  Rejection is only bad if you take it personally.  The next time you are out in public, play this game: try to get three people to say the word “no” to you.  You might find this more difficult then you imagined.  The only way to fail is to quit.

4. The times have changed.

In ancient times, approaching a women could be a very dangerous activity.  If you approached the wrong guys woman, you ran the risk of getting physically assaulted, shot or ostracized from society.  This is no longer an issue.  I’ve approached thousands of women and I’ve never had anyone become combative towards me.  In fact, I’ve never even been yelled at.  The only thing you risk hurting when you approach a woman is your ego.

5.  Your looks and the size of your wallet don’t matter.

The only difference between attractive men and guy’s who are still looking for the elusive magic pill is that the attractive men go for it.  I remember a girlfriend of mine was dating this repulsive looking guy.  I mean this guy just looked like a goofball, no style, out-of-shape and talked like he had no real confidence.  I wondered why the hell she was with him. One day I asked her “Why are you dating this guy?”  She said it was simple; it was because he was so persistent.  That put a lot of thing into perspective for me.  He was able to let go of his ego and after many failed attempts still went after what he wanted. Take that into account in all aspects of life.  If you act like you’ve been there before, stay consistent and don’t fold in the face of rejection than you will get the job the girl and the life someone more qualified than you failed to follow-up on.

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You just met someone amazing and this guy/girl is different from all of the others. The stakes are raised and you may find yourself scrambling. Should I call? Should I text? Should I email? Where to go? What to do? How to behave? What do you do on the perfect date???? Here are five tips to make this simple and easy.

#1. You Don’t Have to Bust Your Wallet.

Spending a lot of money on first date is a big no-no because it often gives the wrong impression. If you have to spend a ton of money to have fun then you are missing the point of a first date, which is to connect and get to know him/her better. If you’re rich, resist the urge to flaunt how much money you have. Don’t feel the need to do something extravagant just because you really like the person. It can come across as “try hard” and can be a real turn off. To find fun and inexpensive first date ideas, see my Best First Date Ideas.

#2. Pressure = Bad

A first date can be a very high pressure situation for a lot of people, especially for those who don’t date a lot or usually date people they have been friends with first. Never call it a “date.” I like to say “Let’s grab a drink” or “Let’s go check out xyz.” I may even tease her and follow up the invitation with “You better not get me drunk and take advantage of me, I’m not as easy as I look! ?” Avoid going out on a Friday or Saturday Night. On those nights, you will have tons of competition and high expectations. I prefer the weeknights. If he/she is meeting with you for a date, you can assume that they are already attracted to you.

#3. What to say?

If you are a good conversationalist you don’t have to worry, but a lot of folks start spewing out job interview style questions when they get nervous or tongue-tied. Genuine curiosity is the key, which is about looking beyond appearances and literally taking the time to see what is under the surface. Every person is filled with incredible stories so long as you just get curious and ask the right questions. If you just look around and ask yourself, “What is her story? What do I want to know about him?” you might be surprised what you find out. I have learned more about women than most could ever imagine simply by being curious. The key here is to be genuinely curious as opposed to using agenda based curiosity. We have a tendency to make talking to the opposite sex too complicated. We think we have to be clever and creative. We need the perfect words to impress him/her so that she will be attracted. It’s not about the words so stop trying so hard. It’s the feeling behind the words that is important. Just relax feel the curiosity for the person sitting beside you and ask a question that really intrigues you and it will hit home. The other important thing to remember is to never sit across from your date because it makes physical contact impossible or potentially awkward. Avoid awkward hard chairs or sitting across from them at a table. Find a comfortable seat in an environment that isn’t too noisy.

#4. No Friends Allowed.

Meeting up with his/her friends is a bad idea because it is an intimacy killer. Unless it was agreed on from the start that it would be that kind of date, don’t do it, it’s the kiss of death. If he/she will not agree to meet you alone, it’s almost always a sure-fire sign that they are not interested in dating you in the first place. A good date should always start out light, fun and comfortable and move in the direction of increased sexual tension. This is impossible with a group of people. Venue changing is another sure-fire way keep the energy high and add in a little suspense. If you visit multiple venues on your date, it will make each of you feel more comfortable with one another. It will also start to feel like you’ve known your date for a longer time because travel (no matter how short the distance) fosters a connection. Be adventurous and keep hopping around, it will be tons of fun.

#5. Be Daring

Being bold can appear in many different forms. I am using the term very loosely to
mean, “anything that creates sexual tension.” If your date liked you enough to agree to a date in the first place, then you can assume that they are attracted to you. The biggest mistake I constantly watch people make is failing to take a risk and make a move. If you decide to make a move and go for the kiss only two things can happen. It will work out and you’ll be glad you went for it, or you will find out that he/she is not that interested and you can move on. Time is more important than a bruised ego and you can save a lot of it by making things happen quickly. If you don’t at least go for the kiss on the first date, the relationship is headed quickly towards the dreaded friends’ zone. Sometimes, you may get denied but it doesn’t always mean “No,” it usually means “Not yet.” Plus, you get major points for trying and putting yourself out there.

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