If you are struggling to get past the initial stages when you meet a woman then there is a VERY good chance that you are doing this and it will kill your chances almost every time.

So what am I talking about?  I’m talking about seeking validation.

Validation seeking behavior is a major turn off to anyone, man or woman.  I’m sure you have been in a situation before where you are talking to someone and you can feel how worried they are about what you think of them.  Its annoying and it makes you want to leave right?  Think about how often this happens to beautiful women and powerful men.  When you have something that everyone else wants whether it is a magnetic personality, access to scarce resources or a great pair of tits and a tight, bubbly ass, people start putting you on a pedestal.  Take a moment and think about the last time you were guilty of this behavior…

I’m not really gonna explain this concept more, hopefully you get it by now, people, no matter what their social status will only want to be around you if they see you as an equal.  Last night I was a guest on AJ & Jordan Harbinger’s show ‘Game On’ on Sirius Satellite Radio.  After the show, their was a metal band called Gwar recording a performance in the main recording studio.  Jordan and I walked over to them and pretended he didn’t know them.  He said “Do you know who these Gwar guys are?  I heard they are really old.”  They looked at him funny and said “Uhh, we’re part of the band.”  Then Jordan laughed and said “I know, I was just fucking with you.”  They loved us after that because they knew we were just normal cool guys who weren’t gonna try and suck their dicks for validation.  So here is my really life altering, earth shattering, Nobel Prize winning coaching for you…

If you are seeking validation, notice it and STOP IT!

One mental technique or exercise you can use is to realize that the gorgeous woman who looks so scary, unapproachable and out of your league probably has just as many insecurities, false negative beliefs and things she hates about herself as you do if not more because women are judged much more on their looks.  If this isn’t enough then you can take it even further and start looking for her flaws.  Now don’t become an asshole about it, just use it as a consciousness tool to break the pattern in your mind that she is somehow above you.  Eliminating validation seeking behavior will improve your chances with women more then just about anything else if this is a problem you are dealing with.

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