“Always seek to be as objective as you possibly can by seeking out and weighing up all the evidence that supports and goes against your thinking.”

A great mentor of mine named Karl Wolfe, told me that awareness is the first step to change.  In order to be aware, you must be able to think objectively.

A huge mistake I see people make in dating is that they jump to conclusions based on their emotions and try to move forward without knowing or acknowledging their starting point.

It’s like trying to get directions from LA to NY but you aren’t actually in LA, you are in Florida.

I was talking to a client the other day via chat and he was telling me about an experience he had recently on a first date.  They went out, they flirted, she was touching his arm and they were having a great time.

He went in for the kiss and she pulled away and said “Not yet.”  Towards the end of the night he went in again and she said “NO.”

He texted her saying it was a great evening and she said she is not ready for a romantic relationship right now.  He texted her saying “I am happy to just find a new friend.” She didn’t text back.

His first question to me was “Could you recommend some next steps?  Or is it over?”

Rather then answering his question, I asked him “What do you think happened?”  I didn’t answer his question because an answer would have put him in an even deeper hole.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this before?  Not sure what to do next because you can’t get a read on her?

If the answer is yes, then my advice is to STOP! Stop trying to figure out what to do next and start looking at what got you in the mess in the first place.  I explained to my client that he screwed up because he failed to read her subtle signals.

Women will tell you exactly how to seduce them, but if you don’t speak her language, you won’t get the message.

Men tend to be more logical and women tend to be more emotional.  To speak the language of women you must learn how to connect with her on an emotional level.

When you are connected to her emotionally, you will always know exactly what to do.

If she’s turned on and you can’t feel it, you won’t know when to make the move. If she’s not turned on and you go for the kiss, you’re gonna get rejected.

This skill goes far beyond the “pickup” phase of the interaction and is also the secret for creating healthy and lasting relationships.  If you want to learn Spanish, you’re going to have to talk to people, and if you want to speak women, you’re going to have to talk to them as well.

To connect with her emotions, first you must connect with your own.  The problem most guys face is that we can feel our emotions but we have trouble communicating them.  Stop right now and check in with yourself.  How do you feel?

Did an emotion immediately come to mind or did you have to think about it for a couple seconds to find the words?  Maybe you concluded that you feel “fine or normal.”  Are those emotions?  No, they are not.  If you feel fine or normal you are probably feeling content.  During those few seconds you were searching for the words, you were probably feeling “confused.”  At least that’s what I was feeling when I did the exercise while writing this.

That lag time between how you feel and being able to communicate it to others is a massive indicator for your ability to connect with women.  The shorter the lag time, the more successful you are.  My secret weapon for attracting women is my ability to read their emotions at lightning fast speed.

If you can read their emotions, you can read their mind!

And guess what, woman are way better at this then men, so they can read your mind too!  It’s easy to know what to do if you can read someone’s mind, you just look for it.

After doing my best to explain this concept over chat with my client I finally gave him the advice he was looking for.  I told him that if he wanted to salvage it with this girl, his best bet is to call out the awkward tension that is gonna act as a barrier for seeing her again.  Women expect you to screw up, you don’t have to be perfect.

But if you try to move forward without acknowledging the giant pink elephant of awkwardness in the room, the elephant will kill you.

Cheers,

Robbie Kramer