Passion is one of the most important topics in dating and also, the least talked about.  I’m not talking about sexual passion, I’m simply talking about what turns you on.  What gets you excited and smiling every day? Knowing your passion and speaking about it is straight up sexy because it’s authentic, its honest, its the raw form of you, take it or leave it.  People are attracted to passion, because its so rare to find someone who has found their calling.  Most people are stuck doing what society tells them is the right thing to do, rather then following their dreams.

In his book “Crush It,” Gary Vaynerchuk writes “Even the dullest introvert has pizzaz when talking about something he’s passionate about.” Take the guy who has the rustiest social skills and have him talking about this new chemical element discovered on Mars, and he’ll shine and draw people in.  You” find that by focusing on your passion, your skills with women will improve because you will no longer be psychologically wrapped in her world. By discovering your passion, you start to think for yourself, define yourself, and know yourself.  That’s powerful because most people are lost and are looking to others to tell them whats cool or not (inherently not attractive).

Guys have it Wrong
Guys who want to learn how to talk to women typically think in reverse:  “What sort of topics do women find fascinating?  Should I study fashion, health, astrology so I know how to speak her language?  Let me go learn about those things!”  While learning that stuff could occasionally help you in your interactions, it could also make you a woman-appeasing maniac.  What does she like?  What does she want to talk about?  Let me talk about that!  While it is counter-intuitive, women want to hear what you find interesting.  They want a glimpse of your reality.  They want to be taken on an adventure.  When you make women your total focus, you can start to forget about who you are and what you stand for.

Discovering your passion
When I was a young kid, I used to love playing basketball during lunchtime at school.  I would buy and trade basketball cards.  I would play basketball video games and, of course, I would watch basketball on TV.  There wasn’t anyone else at the time who was more passionate about basketball as I was because I was living basketball.  And that’s the trick to discovering your passion: you must be living your passion somehow. While work and other things may have distracted you from interests, your passion is something you have somehow kept in touch.

An example: I know a few friends who are passionate about music.  They subscribe to music magazines, they follow their bands religiously, they download the latest music, and they go to concerts.  Are they living their passion?  Yes.  Even though they may not be playing music, they are actively involved with music, their passion.  They just don’t read, they ENGAGE in the content.  They talk to their friends about it, they blog about it, they tweet about it, they make plans to go buy the CD or go to the next concert.

Are you living your passion?
If you’re not sure if you’re living your passion, here are a few questions that might indicate a passion:

- If you had 10 million dollars, what would you do?  What would you spend your day doing?
- Was there a class you took that you loved the subject?
- What kind of books do you enjoy reading?
- Who are your role models, heroes, or people you want to be like?

Dormant and Changing Passions
So I mentioned earlier that things in our lives may have distracted us from our true passions.  Work, family, other responsibilities often force us to spend less time doing things we truly love.  Look to your past or even your present.  Are there topics, hobbies, or activities that always light you up, or spark your interest?  If so, those might be indicators of passions that you haven’t developed yet.  Also, remember this: Passions change.  Today I don’t play basketball as much as I used to and that’s OK.  I have changed as a person so it’s natural my passions have changed.

Uh…What again does this have to do with women?
To best way to illustrate how passion helps you on your quest to meet amazing women, let’s take an example of Bob, the farmer. While farming may not be the most attractive profession out there (no offense to any farmers out there right now), Bob is passionate about farming.  He lives it, breathes it, and eats it (literally, he eats his produce).  Yup, that’s how much he likes farming.  Now Bob is a lonely dude, who doesn’t get many dates.  He’s determine to meet some fine ladies so he goes out there learns some Mystery Method.  For the next four months, Bob goes out clubbing.  He gets a pair of sparkling overalls, drives a red convertible tractor, and asks girls “Who lies more, men, women, or hogs?”  When women ask Bob what he does for a living, he tells them he’s in a band or he’s a doctor.  They can obviously tell he’s lying.  Now I commend Bob for pushing his comfort zone and going out there and trying something new, but Bob’s results are horrible. He’s forced into an environment where he doesn’t shine, where he talks to women about fashion or some other topics that doesn’t really interest him.  After 4 months, Bob gives up.

What should have Bob done?
Bob should have remembered these 2 important rules:

* Rule #1:  Follow your passion.  It’s fun, it’s unapologetically you, it’s in your DNA.
* Rule #2:  Self-acceptance before self-improvement.  While it’s OK to improve yourself, first accept yourself with all your likes and dislikes and strengths and flaws.

Bob should have followed his passion for farming and accepted that he was a farmer.  Not just a farmer, a badass sexy farmer. He could have made farming sexy, instead of being embarrassed by his natural interest in it.  How can you make farming sexy, you ask?

Since Bob loves farming so much, he could have invited all the local farmers to a Largest Vegetable Contest.  By doing that, he could become a leader in the community and women (and men) would admire that.  His popularity would increase.  The women in attendance would have the same interest as Bob, making conversations more fun for Bob and the women.  Bob also could have joined the Farmers Organization Group that meets twice a month.  His passion for farming would shine in that group and whether he met women or not, he would make some really good friends who might invite him out to parties where other women folk might be at.  Bob also could have taken Farming classes at the local college near him.  There would be tons of girls there.  In the end, he could accept himself, blue overalls and have tons of fun.

So what’s your passion?  Use the comment box below to brainstorm or talk about your lack thereof.

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