I dunno about you, but life is a lot more fun when I’m not thinking too hard.  When we are faced with a tough situation that makes us a little uncomfortable, our built in response is to try and think our way through it.  “If we think hard enough, we’ll figure it out and get it right!”  Unfortunately, this is typically not the case.

One of the biggest frustrations I hear from guys is that they don’t know what to say to start a conversation and keep it going with a beautiful woman. Ironically, the more you think about what to say, the harder time you’re gonna have.  So I decided to do some experimenting.  Rather then trying to figure out good stuff to say, why not just spew out the dialogue in your head?  It’s real, it’s honest and you don’t have to try.

So last night I was out with a client who has been absolutely KILLING IT.  He complains that he doesn’t have nearly enough time to spend with all the women that are calling/texting and practically begging to hang out with him.  Good problem to have right?  He was in town for the weekend so we headed out to Colony, one of the posh new clubs in Hollywood.  When I first walked in I wasn’t really in a social mood at all and I quickly went into my head.  I started thinking about a million things at once and I wasn’t having much fun.  In order to stop thinking, you have to start “doing.” So I started chatting up some of the people at the table we were at.  That got me in a social mode and a few minutes later, I was starting to have a lot more fun.  My favorite thing to do at clubs is to push tension.  I have a girlfriend so it’s not like I’m gonna be out on the hunt.  My favorite way to push tension is to say really outlandish and shocking things to people that they would never expect to hear and then enjoy the fireworks.

I saw a group of 3 conservative looking middle eastern girls so I walked up to them and said, “Hey do you mind if I stand here, I farted over there and it smells really bad, so I’m just gonna hang out it here if its cool with you.” They looked at my like I was crazy and then cracked up. I don’t think they believed me but they should have!

Later on in the evening, my client was talking to two gorgeous girls, a blonde and brunette.  I came over to play wingman for him so he could have some time with the brunette and I quickly realized that even though the blonde was attractive, she was quite possibly the dumbest person I’ve ever met.  So rather then try to have a conversation with her which would be like pulling teeth, I just decided to start spewing stuff that was running through my head.  What came out was “I don’t think I have anything to say to you, so I’m just gonna stand here while my friend talks to your friend.”  Unfortunately, she didn’t take the hint to give them some space but it was really entertaining to see the incredibly confused look on her face.

Part of me wishes that I had some more crazy stuff to report back but the moral of the story is, if you don’t know what to say, say the thing you are thinking.  If you say what’s on your mind, you will be speaking from the heart, even if its something horrible. It will give the person you are talking to something real to connect with.  If you try to force a conversation, your words will be void of feeling and emotion and they’ll fall on deaf ears.  The best part is, sometimes you’ll stick your foot in your mouth but guess what?  Then you get to practice dealing with a sticky situation and nothing is better for increasing your confidence and growing as a person.  Try it right now, leave a comment and speak your mind!

Cheers,

Robbie Kramer

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