There are three ways to meet women, either you engage her, she engages you or someone else introduces you to each other.

This article will teach you how to make an immediate connection and eliminate any nervous or awkward tension during the first 30 seconds of an interaction.

I like to think of the first 2 Seconds – 60 Seconds as the do or die part of the interaction.

Stage 1: Break her bubble (So she realizes she is talking to someone)

Stage 2: Eliminate the “bad” tension if any exists

Stage 3: You are both comfortable, time to create “good” tension.

Stage 1:  Break her bubble.  Most guys get rejected because they fail to break her bubble.  Have you ever been in the middle of something when someone asks you a question out of the blue?

You never hear what they said because your mind was pre-occupied.  I watch guys approach women with hilarious comments and openers but if they fail to break her bubble, she won’t even hear the first 3-6 words that come out of their mouth and will stand there looking confused and say, “Huh?”

When this happens, most guys think that they’ve been rejected, huge mistake!  Make sure you break her bubble before you say what you really want to say.  A “Hey you” or “Excuse me” will work just fine.

Stage 2:  To eliminate the “bad” tension the first thing to look at is your level of anxiety.  If you are feeling nervous to talk to her and you are having trouble controlling those nerves, there will be awkward tension during the first few seconds of the interaction.

If this is the case, don’t worry, it’s very simple to release that tension.

If you are feeling relatively comfortable, then there is no need to worry about awkward tension.

If you aren’t sure how much discomfort you are feeling then simply check in with your feelings.  If you are feeling at all nervous or timid, she will feel it too.  We all have the ability to feel each others emotions and women are particularly intuitive to this type of energy.

The key to eliminating the awkward tension is to call it out.

Stage 3: You are both comfortable, time to create “good” tension.  In the beginning of this post I mentioned that there are three ways to meet women, either you engage her, she engages you or someone else introduces you to each other.

If she engages you or someone introduces you to each other, you skip straight to stage 3.

Stage 3 is where she gets to find out that she is attracted to you.  If you’ve navigated through stages 1 and 2 correctly, she will know that you are “normal.”  By “normal” I mean, she feels comfortable talking to you.

She may already be attracted if she noticed you having fun or picked up on your grounded energy.  If not you get the chance to create it.

If you don’t create any “good” tension, you will quickly fall into her “typical boring guy” category.

“Good” tension is tension that makes the conversation interesting and exciting.  It could be laughter, sexual tension, anything that creates a powerful emotion.

Typical boring guys are guys who don’t really bring any “good” tension to the interaction.  They usually just ask boring interview questions and get stuck in their head trying to think of things to say.  These interactions consist of boring small talk and rarely go anywhere.

To avoid this, start creating tension.  There are tons of ways to do this and if you’ve read my blog before, you know I talk about this a lot!

One quick suggestion if you catch yourself starting to slip into typical “boring guy category” is to stop, look at her and start passionately complaining about something happening around you.

It doesn’t even have to make sense, but people love to complain and if you are passionate, you will come alive and that energy will draw her in.  I usually advise against complaining because it is horrible for your inner game, but in this scenario you are doing it as a joke to create tension.

For example, you are at a rather dull house party and are introduced to an attractive woman.  You start in stage 3 and the conversation is probably going like this:

Your Friend:  Tiffany, I want you to meet my friend Robbie.
Tiffany: Hi Robbie, how are you?
Robbie: I’m good, how about you?
Tiffany: Good thanks, where are you from?
Robbie: LA, you?
Tiffany: Same
(WARNING – 10 more seconds until “boring guy category.”)
Robbie: You know what really makes me angry!
Tiffany: What?
Robbie: When you are introduced to someone and they are from the same city as you, it makes it so much more difficult to think of cool stuff to talk about if I can’t ask you more boring questions about where you’re from!?
Tiffany: HAHA

This statement will work because it creates tension.  When Robbie asks “You know what really makes me angry?”

It shows that he is not afraid to speak his mind and be real.  This in turn gives her the freedom to be real which will make it much easier to create a connection.

The bottom line is this:  Tension between two people creates an EMOTIONAL polarity, like a magnet.

“Good” tension will attract you to each other very powerfully while “bad” tension will repel equally as powerfully.   You cannot create any polarity without the emotional element. 

Most guys fail to show any emotion whatsoever so they end up playing it safe and turning into a magnet that lost its charge.

If you’re that guy, don’t worry, it’s easy to get your charge back and it starts with taking baby steps towards feeling your emotions and putting yourself in tense situations as much as possible.

Cheers,

Robbie Kramer