Question:
Ever since my last session with Inner Confidence, I am having difficulty with practicing pickup.  Usually I go out with the intent to try and pick up (I go out during the day and try to open 10 sets).  This is because I don’t have 4-5 hours to waste at a bar.

The problem is, now I know that women can sense/feel ur insincerity, now I feel uncomfortable using a routine stack.  And since I have doubt in the routine or banter lines, it is a bit discouraging even going out.  Seems like all my cards are taken and I’m naked…and if I try to use the lines, she’ll realize how inauthentic I am.  Am I paranoid?  Are routines evil?  Do they lack integrity?  I’ve been called out twice for being a pickup artist…and many times I’m certain girls know they are trying to be “picked up”.

I used to use a direct day game model as a guideline for approaching (something to fall back on) — which wassn’t too “gamey”.  But its so rare for me to get a number (“hit or miss” as i like to call it).  It doesn’t even seem to make sense to me how inconsistent I am getting phone numbers when I go out.  I can approach fearlessly direct now, but after that, i’m a bit confused.

How do I go out and “practice” becoming more attractive?  Or do I just need to open more sets?  How do you incorporate/practice banter lines or even a routine with IC’s paradigm?

Thanks in advance,
B

Answer:
The biggest thing that will hold you back from becoming good with women is trying to become a pickup artist and practicing pickup.  I’m really glad you are feeling that insecurity and in-authenticity because that means you’re moving in the right direction.  Guys who are naturally good with women don’t ever become good by practicing pickup.  They become attractive men by bringing out their natural masculine qualities.  These include, their level of groundedness, connecting with people and learning how to manage tension.   Brian and I have noticed how much easier it is to coach guys who have never been exposed to the PU Community because their heads aren’t filled with crap.  I’m not saying that everything in the community is crap, but most of it is taught by guys who aren’t even getting laid.

Pickup lines and routines are not bad or evil, in fact they can be extremely powerful if you are solid on the inside when you use them.  But you should only use a routine if its fun for you, otherwise women will typically sense the agenda.  So if you want to practice, start by practicing these things:

1.  Do physical exercise that gets you into your body so you can feel your masculine power.  Anything will work, just notice when you are in your head verses when you are flowing like an athlete.

2.  Practice being social and making connections with strangers (not just women – everyone)  If these means approaching them, that’s great, but rather then trying to game them, try to be genuinely interested in who they are.

3.  Practice leaning into tension.  Check out the many posts in the IC Intensive area, there are a ton of exercises in there or check out Cary’s blog, hes pretty much done them all. http://www.beuncomfortable.com

Do the exercises from the ebook, I know you’ve read it biatch!

I didn’t get a chance to do a session with you yet, but my guess is that your direct approaches aren’t working because women can sense the agenda and you are losing your groundedness and seeking validation during the interaction.

Great question and I’m glad your practicing.  Keep it up!

-Robbie

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