Killer Conversation Skills Part 1 – Attraction
“What do I say to her?” Probably the most asked question in the history of dating. So I’m gonna do my best to answer it once and for all. This post is not about having pleasent conversations or intellectually stimilating rapport or any of that stuff, it’s about one thing: STANDING OUT FROM THE PACK = WOMEN ATTRACTED TO YOU.
(Didn’t I see these guys on Jersey Shore?)
But before I get into it, let me create a new context to help you improve your skills. First things first, it is imperative that you drop the agenda. I talk about this a lot because it is a mistake most guys make. Example: “What should I say to get this girls number?” It won’t work because she will feel like you are trying to get something from her and that is a huge turnoff. The mindset I like to have when talking to strangers is “How can I have fun with this conversation and I wonder what makes this person tick?”
If you are a beginner at anything, it always helps to have a plan and some training wheels. It’s scary to talk to a beautiful woman but you can minimize that fear substantially by having the confidence that comes with being ready. So here comes another patented Robbie Kramer step by step system to success. If you don’t know me or haven’t spent much time on my blog, you’ll quickly learn that I love easy to use action plans! I’m a huge dork like that, anyways…
Category 1: Be BOLD with people. Being bold is about pushing your comfort zone. If I go up to a stranger and ask for directions to the beach, I am not being bold, however, if you are scared to talk to strangers and you rarely do it, this would be a bold move for you. What I’m saying is that it’s all relative. I talk about this a lot in my ebook and give a ton of exercises to ease you out of your comfort zone. It’s important to be bold because most guys get really DULL when they are nervous. DULL is never good. If you are BOLD, you run the risk of being rude, sleazy, arrogant, an asshole, etc.. but with higher risk comes higher reward. Here are a few different ways you can be bold. I would pick the ones that sound easy and fun for you because those will work. If you try to be someone you are not, good luck!
Option 1: Flirty & Direct: My favorite way of being bold is to be flirty and direct. I’ll say accuse women of looking hot just so they can intimidate me. I might say something like “What’s with the dress, you might as well just wear a big sign that says, come flirt with me! I’m not falling for it though… (sly smile) (pause) (lame dudes voice) so uhhh, like what’s your sign? uhhhhh” LOL!
Option 2: Make Statements rather then Asking Questions: In the beginning you are gonna be doing 90% of the talking, then she’s gonna feel you out and it will be 50/50 and if shes into you, she’ll start doing 90% of the talking. Most guys make the mistake of opening a conversation and then asking a lame question because they don’t know what to say next. You are almost always better off simply blabbing about nothing. Most people are uncomfortable with silence and it’s way easier for most people, especially men to listen rather then talk if we are nervous. Try having a conversation with someone without asking any questions, just make statements, shutup and let them respond.” Hint: the more fired up you are about the statement, the better it will be received. “I LOVE pigeons, they are the smartest birds ever!” verses: “I like salad.”
Option 3: Be Really Goofy: If you are a goofy dude, don’t try to hide it, OWN IT!! The best way to illustrate this point is to check out this video. Sure he’s a wacko, but he’s having fun and he never apologizes for who he is. Remember though, if this is not your personality, don’t try to fake it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tA8P1KUZzg&feature=player_embedded
Option 4: Banter: Banter is playful conversation. The point of it is to have fun. Even if you think you cannot banter, I assure you, everyone can in their most comfortable setting. You probably constantly banter with your good buddies without even realizing it by giving them shit, teasing them and bullshitting. My favorite compilation of banter can be found here: http://robbokramer.blogspot.com/2007/01/banter.html
Option 5: Lie & Get Caught: Pretty self explanatory, but here’s an example I might use on girl I want to hit on.
Me: “OH MY GOD, Jenny how are you?!”
Girl: “I’m not Jenny”
Me: “Oh my bad, I know you though… you’re my buddy John’s girlfriend! How ya been?”
Girl: “I think you have the wrong person.”
Me: “Oh no, not John, your Steve’s girlfriend.”
Girl: “Nope, wrong again.”
Me: “Well I definetely know your boyfriend, what is his name?”
Girl: “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Me: “Oh weird, well now I know one thing for sure, if I ask you out, you can’t use the “I have a boyfriend” line on me!”
Girl: “Oh gawd”
Me: “Come on, you gotta admit that was pretty clever! You are harsh, are you a cop or something?”
Are you starting to get the point? That line has worked wonders for me in the past, but only because its fun for me!!
Let’s wrap this up… the tools I gave you above are all about having fun and entertaining yourself. If you think back on the conversations you’ve really enjoyed, I’m sure you were having fun and were so entertained that time flew by. In my next post, Killer Conversations Part 2, I’m gonna talk about transistioning from fluff and fun to getting real so she remembers you over all the other attractive guys she met for weeks to come.