Meet Matthew Vaughn, he’s Claudia Schiffer’s Husband.  She is pregnant in this picture but we all know that her body is insane otherwise!

So how does a guy who looks like that get a girl like her?

Most men would say “It’s because he’s rich! Duh!”  Do you think Claudia needs anymore money?  I think she’s doing quite well on her own and doesn’t have much need to go gold digging.

I’ve never met the guy but just by looking at this picture, you can tell he’s probably not the funniest guy in the world.

So we know that it’s not his looks, it’s not his money, it’s not his sense of humor, so what is it?!

He is GROUNDED!

The best way to describe what being grounded is, is to describe what being grounded isn’t. Read more…

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“Always seek to be as objective as you possibly can by seeking out and weighing up all the evidence that supports and goes against your thinking.”

A great mentor of mine named Karl Wolfe, told me that awareness is the first step to change.  In order to be aware, you must be able to think objectively.

A huge mistake I see people make in dating is that they jump to conclusions based on their emotions and try to move forward without knowing or acknowledging their starting point.

It’s like trying to get directions from LA to NY but you aren’t actually in LA, you are in Florida.

I was talking to a client the other day via chat and he was telling me about an experience he had recently on a first date.  They went out, they flirted, she was touching his arm and they were having a great time.

He went in for the kiss and she pulled away and said “Not yet.”  Towards the end of the night he went in again and she said Read more…

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If a woman doesn’t put up at least a small amount of resistance, she isn’t interested in you!

In the video below I demonstrate how to deal with any type of emotional or verbal curve ball a woman throws at you.

This is a tough concept to get at first because most of the time, we think of resistance as something we want to avoid.  Growing up, I did everything possible to avoid these type of situations.

I wanted everyone to like me and I went out of my way to make sure I never offended anyone or said the wrong thing because if I did, I would have to deal with resistance.

When I first started approaching women during the day, I would usually open the conversation with this: “Hi, this may seem random, but I had to tell you that you are really cute.”

99% of the time, she would do one of two things:

1) Thanks! (big smile & she would light up like a christmas tree)

2) Ummm thanks (bored facial expression followed by eye roll to imply “nice try buddy”)

Read more…

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Last night I’m out with a small group of students at a new bar in West L.A.

At one point in the night we are talking to a group of cute girls on the patio. One of the girls mentions that she has to leave by midnight or she’ll turn into a pumpkin.

Then she says that if she keeps drinking she’ll get bloated and her face will get filled with pox.

I misunderstand her and say “Did you just say that you’ll get bloated and you’ll get filled with cock?”

She starts laughing hysterically and playfully punches my arm. I exit the conversation in hopes that the attraction she’s feeling towards me will wear off on the student next to me.

Prior to going out we did a bunch of drills to help them get over their approach anxiety and have fun opening conversations. We were using some fairly edgy openers. But all of the guys in attendance had zero approach anxiety by the end of the night and we all had a great time. My last post was an in depth explanation of making sure your emotions match your words. This is the key to successful openings–particularly high-risk openings.

How is it possible to say edgy things and deliver risky openers without worrying about what happens afterward? Read more…

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There are a million and one ways to spark up a conversation with a beautiful woman, this post is about how to find one that will work for you – EVERY TIME! Most guys make the mistake of trying to come up with something really clever on the spot.  For this to work you have to not only be clever, but quick witted and very observant.

It’s scientifically proven that men get dumber in the presence of a beautiful woman so this strategy is pretty much worthless.  By the time you think of something clever the opportunity will have came and went.  The next mistake guys make is to open with something innocuous and situationally relevant.  “Lots of people here tonight, eh…”  This is just boring!  And the third mistake I see is guys opening with something indirect and unexpected.  “Who do you think lies more, men or women?”  This doesn’t work because most women will see right through your plan and think you’re creepy for having a hidden agenda.  They know you are interested because you approached them and they also know you don’t really care about the question you are asking.  They’ll sense the agenda and close off.

So let me explain what will actually work… Read more…

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When I don’t get the results I want I typically ask myself the question, “What did I do wrong and how do I fix it?” One of the best resources I had over the years while learning to have great interactions with women were online forums to get support from other guys who were doing the same thing.  Consider this scenario…

Lets say that random dude named “homeslice” writes a post on the forums about a night on the town.  Some people will initially jump to offer advice on what he did wrong and how to fix it.  Some will just tell him the things he did wrong without ways to fix it.  Others will just say good job, etc…  Everyone has a different way in which they view the world.  Half empty, half full, not enough, too much.  The key is to notice the behavior without judging it or making meaning out of it.

If we just start focusing on the positives, then we’ll all become a bunch of spiritual elitists and masters of the dark side who are out of touch with reality.  A master of the dark side is someone who walks around all the time refusing to focus on anything they perceive as negative.  For example, let’s say you are talking to one of these people and mention a car accident you saw, they will quickly say “I don’t wanna talk about that.”  It’s funny because these people internalize all that negative energy by not acknowledging that it’s real.  In turn they become a slave to it.  The Law of Attraction states that whatever you resist, persists.  So if we only focus on the positives we become slightly insane.  If we just focus on the negatives Read more…

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I often get a lot of questions about specific pickup skills from guys who are trying to improve with women.

“How do I open a mixed 5 set?” (mixed 5 set = a group of 5 people with both men and women)

“How do I isolate my target?” (target = girl I like)

“How do I deal with LMR?” (LMR = resistance women give you before sex)

Do you ask yourself questions like this? If so, you are probably making life much harder on yourself than it has to be.  The language we use creates our context for how we view the world.  Kinda like how a pair of sunglasses makes everything look darker then reality.  If you are writing in pickup lingo (targets, LMR, HB, sets, DHV, etc…) then you are thinking in terms of pickup lingo.  If you are thinking in terms of pickup, it means you are using strategy to meet women.  Even if you are really good at the strategies and a master at the game, you are shooting yourself in the foot!

If you think you need a strategy or game plan, you are telling yourself that you are not good enough as you are.  Women are attracted to one thing Read more…

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I used to live in San Diego, aka Man Diego because of all the military bases located there.  During the weekends, the troops would infiltrate the local bars and clubs and unfortunately, most of these troops were not comprised of hot women.   The biggest complaint I heard at the bars was “These Marines are so aggressive, I can’t stand them.”  Women would complain that they would get really drunk and hit on them and guys would complain that they were drunk d-bags.  These guys were really just intimidated by the Marines and too scared to admit it.  I have a ton of respect for guys in the military because it takes courage to make that type of commitment.  After working with a lot of veterans, I found that they all tend to have one trait in common, they take action.  And men who take action always get the most out of everything they do.  I’ve never been in battle but I’ve played my fair share of paintball and Counter-Strike back in the day.  When you hesitate and stop to assess the situation, you’re dead!

I recently took a group of guys out to play paintball.  I played a few games by intentionally thinking and assessing the situation and I got shot very quickly each time.  Then I played a few games by silencing my mind and just trusting my body and gut instincts.  My play improved dramatically.  When you are faced with a do or die situation Read more…

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Yesterday I was in a class with one of my mentors, Karl Wolfe.  We did a really cool exercise where you had to imagine you were dead and write your own eulogy.  The point was to get us thinking about our life and how people perceive us.  It was a difficult exercise and I felt like what I wrote was pretty sucky.  Then we read them in front of the group and got feedback.  One thing I said really stood out to the group, “It was a shame he died before he really shared his value with the world and I think it was the thing he regretted most.”  They pointed out that I was living my life in the future and completely discounting the little things that I did which added value to their lives.  Simple things like listening to them, offering advice, sharing a resource or contact who could help them out. When they started sharing these experiences with me a light bulb went off in my head. I had been skipping over the details and finer points in life by only focusing on the big picture.

Rather then connecting with the people around me and Read more…

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