There are three ways to meet women, either you engage her, she engages you or someone else introduces you to each other.
This article will teach you how to make an immediate connection and eliminate any nervous or awkward tension during the first 30 seconds of an interaction.
I like to think of the first 2 Seconds – 60 Seconds as the do or die part of the interaction.
Stage 1: Break her bubble (So she realizes she is talking to someone)
Stage 2: Eliminate the “bad” tension if any exists
Stage 3: You are both comfortable, time to create “good” tension.
Stage 1: Break her bubble. Most guys get rejected because they fail to break her bubble. Have you ever been in the middle of something when someone asks you a question out of the blue? You never hear what they said because your mind was pre-occupied. I watch guys approach women with hilarious comments and openers but if they fail to break her bubble, she won’t even hear the first 3-6 words that come out of their mouth and will stand there looking confused and say, “Huh?” When this happens, most guys think that they’ve been rejected, huge mistake! Make sure you Read more…
Meet Matthew Vaughn, he’s Claudia Schiffer’s Husband. She is pregnant in this picture but we all know that her body is insane otherwise!
So how does a guy who looks like that get a girl like her?
Most men would say “It’s because he’s rich! Duh!” Do you think Claudia needs anymore money? I think she’s doing quite well on her own and doesn’t have much need to go gold digging.
I’ve never met the guy but just by looking at this picture, you can tell he’s probably not the funniest guy in the world.
So we know that it’s not his looks, it’s not his money, it’s not his sense of humor, so what is it?!
He is GROUNDED!
The best way to describe what being grounded is, is to describe what being grounded isn’t. Read more…
“Always seek to be as objective as you possibly can by seeking out and weighing up all the evidence that supports and goes against your thinking.”
A great mentor of mine named Karl Wolfe, told me that awareness is the first step to change. In order to be aware, you must be able to think objectively.
A huge mistake I see people make in dating is that they jump to conclusions based on their emotions and try to move forward without knowing or acknowledging their starting point.
It’s like trying to get directions from LA to NY but you aren’t actually in LA, you are in Florida.
I was talking to a client the other day via chat and he was telling me about an experience he had recently on a first date. They went out, they flirted, she was touching his arm and they were having a great time.
He went in for the kiss and she pulled away and said “Not yet.” Towards the end of the night he went in again and she said Read more…
If a woman doesn’t put up at least a small amount of resistance, she isn’t interested in you!
In the video below I demonstrate how to deal with any type of emotional or verbal curve ball a woman throws at you.
This is a tough concept to get at first because most of the time, we think of resistance as something we want to avoid. Growing up, I did everything possible to avoid these type of situations.
I wanted everyone to like me and I went out of my way to make sure I never offended anyone or said the wrong thing because if I did, I would have to deal with resistance.
When I first started approaching women during the day, I would usually open the conversation with this: “Hi, this may seem random, but I had to tell you that you are really cute.”
99% of the time, she would do one of two things:
1) Thanks! (big smile & she would light up like a christmas tree)
2) Ummm thanks (bored facial expression followed by eye roll to imply “nice try buddy”)
Last night I’m out with a small group of students at a new bar in West L.A.
At one point in the night we are talking to a group of cute girls on the patio. One of the girls mentions that she has to leave by midnight or she’ll turn into a pumpkin.
Then she says that if she keeps drinking she’ll get bloated and her face will get filled with pox.
I misunderstand her and say “Did you just say that you’ll get bloated and you’ll get filled with cock?”
She starts laughing hysterically and playfully punches my arm. I exit the conversation in hopes that the attraction she’s feeling towards me will wear off on the student next to me.
Prior to going out we did a bunch of drills to help them get over their approach anxiety and have fun opening conversations. We were using some fairly edgy openers. But all of the guys in attendance had zero approach anxiety by the end of the night and we all had a great time. My last post was an in depth explanation of making sure your emotions match your words. This is the key to successful openings–particularly high-risk openings.
How is it possible to say edgy things and deliver risky openers without worrying about what happens afterward? Read more…
Do you ever give money to homeless people? Think back on the last time you were approached and asked for some spare change. Did you give money? Why or why not?
My girlfriend and I were trying to decide where to eat dinner. We decided on a local taco shop but it was closed when we pulled up. Luckily there was an awesome chicken place upstairs but that was closed as well! On our way downstairs, a homeless dude said “Everything is closed around here but you should go down to the street to El Tarasco for some Mexican food. Also, any chance you could spare $5 dollars so I can get something to eat?” Very rarely do I give money to homeless people but this guy was totally relaxed, very normal and even did me a favor by recommending a restaurant. When he started speaking, he was loud enough to get our attention, but not too loud that he startled us. In technical talk, he was very socially calibrated. Thoughts started racing through my mind. “This guy seems cool, he seems like a good guy, he’s not just some bum, I bet he lost his job and is recently homeless, he’s got balls for asking for $5…” So I whipped out my wallet and gave him a $5. And I RARELY even give homeless people even a quarter! Que the Jewish jokes…
A lot can be learned from this homeless gentlemen about approaching women. Most guys make the mistake approaching women that most homeless people make when panhandling. Here are the two mistakes: Read more…
Yesterday I was in a class with one of my mentors, Karl Wolfe. We did a really cool exercise where you had to imagine you were dead and write your own eulogy. The point was to get us thinking about our life and how people perceive us. It was a difficult exercise and I felt like what I wrote was pretty sucky. Then we read them in front of the group and got feedback. One thing I said really stood out to the group, “It was a shame he died before he really shared his value with the world and I think it was the thing he regretted most.” They pointed out that I was living my life in the future and completely discounting the little things that I did which added value to their lives. Simple things like listening to them, offering advice, sharing a resource or contact who could help them out. When they started sharing these experiences with me a light bulb went off in my head. I had been skipping over the details and finer points in life by only focusing on the big picture.
Rather then connecting with the people around me and Read more…
I dunno about you, but life is a lot more fun when I’m not thinking too hard. When we are faced with a tough situation that makes us a little uncomfortable, our built in response is to try and think our way through it. “If we think hard enough, we’ll figure it out and get it right!” Unfortunately, this is typically not the case.
One of the biggest frustrations I hear from guys is that they don’t know what to say to start a conversation and keep it going with a beautiful woman. Ironically, the more you think about what to say, the harder time you’re gonna have. So I decided to do some experimenting. Rather then trying to figure out good stuff to say, why not just spew out the dialogue in your head? It’s real, it’s honest and you don’t have to try.
So last night I was out with a client who has been absolutely KILLING IT. He complains that he doesn’t have nearly enough time to spend with all the women that are calling/texting and practically begging to hang out with him. Good problem to have right? He was in town for the weekend so we headed out to Colony, one of the posh new clubs in Hollywood. When I first walked in I wasn’t really in a social mood at all and I quickly went into my head. I started thinking about a million things at once and I wasn’t having much fun. In order to stop thinking, you have to start “doing.” So I started chatting up some of the people at the table we were at. That got me in a social mode and a few minutes later, I was starting to have a lot more fun. My favorite thing to do at clubs Read more…
One of the biggest reasons why men struggle to date amazing women is that we give our power away. Give our power away… what is that? You give your power away when you don’t stand up for yourself. You give your power away when you don’t listen to your inner voice or gut instincts. You give your power away when you let people walk all over you. You give your power away when you don’t ask for what you want or need. You give your power away when you break your word. You give your power away when you compromise your values. You give your power away when you say sure “I don’t mind just being friends,” to the girl you’ve been crushing on for months. You give your power away when you walk away with your tail between your legs. And most notably, you give your power away when you let fear stop you from going after what is important to you in life.
How you do anything, is how you do everything. If you are giving your power away at work by agreeing to come in on Saturday because your boss asked you to and you are too scared to say no, I guarantee Read more…
Last night I showed some In-Field footage of me picking up a woman to a group of potential clients and I have something really embarrassing to admit about it. Some of you may have seen this video before, and whether you’ve seen it or not, I want you to watch it right now. I recorded this about two and half years ago while I was coaching for PickUp101.
As an instructor, it was a feather in my cap to have an in-field video and I was rather proud of this one when it came out. But knowing what I know now, I’ve gotta come clean and say that this video sucks! It sucks because it’s an example of a failure. To the untrained eye, it appears that this woman is attracted to me, but if you can read a woman’s subtle signals, recognize attraction, and understand sexual tension, you can tell she’s definitely NOT feeling me. Watch the video and see if you can pick up on it…
There are three ways to meet women, either you engage her, she engages you or someone else introduces you to each other.
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