Playing a Smart Game: Strategies on how to make meeting women easy
For years I tried to be a pickup artist, approaching girls all the time, taking bootcamps, struggling and working hard to learn tactics, how to get over approach anxiety. While the efforts have paid off, I’m here to say that there is an easy way. Yes, that’s right. I am here to tell you it’s not supposed to be hard.

Focus on Strengths
As a kid, your parents often tell you “work hard and you can achieve anything!” You can achieve anything but some things will come easy and some will be much more difficult. The truth is, each one of us has our own strengths and weaknesses.  Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. Some of us are naturally funny, some of us are great listeners, some of us are great at math. Whatever it is, find ways to incorporate these attributes into your game.

Try Multiple Action Plans
One of the best advice I got recently was from a book called “Rework”. It said something along the lines of “don’t call it a marketing plan or sales plan or business plan — call it a marketing guess or a sales guess or a business guess.” Similarly, all guys who are trying to meet women have their own, what I called Meeting Women Action Plans. For example, a guy will come in saying he wants to only meet women at bars and he’s do that for years often with mediocre success. The biggest error is to stick to one plan for a long time. Even guys who are good at meeting women at, say bars, should be changing up their action plans to see

1. If there is another plan would help them be more successful at meeting women
2. Pushing their comfort zone (if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not growing).

The cold approach is often one of the hardest things to do (which is why few men ever do it at all in their entire lives!). Try cold approaching for a few months, try being a networking commando, try taking salsa lessons, try running a meetup group. Whatever it is, have multiple plans. Eventually you’ll find something you’re having fun with and meeting lots of women at the same time.

Avoid The Path of Most Resistance.
Oftentimes we take the path of most resistance. We’re trained to do this as kids. “Dont quit!” our parents say. And we keep working harder and harder at things we suck at. It’s called “brute force” as well. Sometimes it works. Often, its just painful.The same is true with meeting women.Seek the path of least resistance.If you’re having massive approach anxiety approaching super hot girls, maybe start off talking to whoever you can. Get used to that. If you hate going to bars and clubs to meet women, stop doing that! Pick something you enjoy doing. Ignore advice that tells you you must be a club superhero, when your history has shown you’re better at meeting women at singles mixers. Work with what you’re good at, then work up.

Recognize you’re style
For some guys being funny is their thing. For others, its having a deep connection. For others its holding tension. Whatever your style is, own it. While a lot of dating advice is geared at making you a more “attractive man” (whatever their concept of an attractive man is), recognize that you have a lot of amazing traits already. Heck, ask us! We’ll point them out for you if you’re having a hard time. Whatever it is, don’t try to be something or someone else. Recognize you have a unique style. Build on what you’ve got.

Cheers,
Robbie Kramer

In this post, I will explain how you can tap into your passion and creativity to have more fun and create more structure to get things done and accomplish your goals !  You know my motto, if it’s not fun, don’t do it!

If you have ever wondered how you can become more masculine and attractive to women then I suggest reading on.

Let’s use the example of a painting.  If you look at a painting, the frame would be the structure and the painting would be the creativity and passion.  We live in a world of duality, up and down, left and right, masculine and feminine.  So if you want to have more fun you must also add in more structure.

If you only have passion, but no structure or vice versa, you will be a very ineffective person.  For example, let’s say you are really good at being an accountant because you can crunch numbers all day long.  This is a very structured activity because you are accomplishing a pretty mundane task.  If you don’t have access to passion and ability to create, you will struggle to create relationships and your life will be nothing but tedious work.  You will never get promoted because your boss won’t have a connection with you and you will never have any fun because you don’t know what fun is if you are disconnected from your passion.  Conversely, if you have lots of access to your passion and creativity but little structure in your life, you may find yourself without a sense of purpose or direction in life.  You may have a lot of connections and creative ideas, but none of them ever turn into anything.  It’s like the guy who has amazing ideas for a book but never sits down to write it.  So you must be able to turn your creative ideas into tangible tools or information that delivers value to others.

Example: I am really passionate about dating and attracting women, so I blog about it and offer my services to others to help them become more successful.  I get to have fun while getting things done all day long!  So here’s a simple set of strategies to turn this information into transformation by taking action:

Look at the activities that take up most of your time.  Are you getting things done without having fun or are you having a lot of fun but getting very little done?  If you answered the former, you need to add in some passion and creativity and if you answered the latter, you need more structure.  Once you’ve identified it, brainstorm some ideas for adding in the ingredients you are missing.

So how does this relate to you?  Where are you lacking and what is the impact on your life and inner confidence?

Cheers,

Robbie Kramer

This post is all about creating a system for success to meet and attract women.  Do you go into conversations with attractive women completely blind and clueless? If so, your results are probably less than stellar.  But sadly, this is the case for about 99.9% of men.  If you are not in the .1%, don’t feel bad you have lots of company and you are in the right place if you want to make the leap toward success.

I’ve always been fascinated by the power of persuasion.  Getting others to do what you want is a pretty powerful skill to have but with great power comes great responsibility.  Are you going to con people and manipulate them into doing something that will affect them negatively or will you use it to create win/win situations to impove your life and the lives of those around you?  The tools are pretty much same, but please use caution…

So what are they, Robbie?  Let me give you quick background.

I started working in sales for a venture capital firm when I graduated from UC San Diego.  My job was to raise large sums of money for high risk/high yield investments.  I basically knew nothing about the product (investments) I was selling but sold a ton of them because I believed in it and my network really trusted me.  The problem was that I always felt very uncomfortable on the phone because I wasn’t sure what to say, how to say it, or how to react to people’s questions, etc… So I started to study sales.  It was fascinating and a lot of fun and I got really good at it.  I noticed that there are a ton of similarities between selling a product and selling yourself.  In fact, in order for anyone to buy a product from you, they have to first be sold on you.  If not, they will go buy it from someone else.  I started studying from the best sales experts in the world and adopting their systems and strategies.  I improved little by little and eventually I developed my own personal style and system that worked much better.  The same exact thing happened when I started studying attraction and how to meet women.  I had trouble getting other people’s methods to work for me and I felt like a phony using canned material and systems created by someone else.  So I said screw it and made up my own.  Did it work, HELL YEAH it worked and it improved my results drastically. Do you want to know what it is?

If you want to know what it is, you are asking the wrong question!  MY SYSTEM WILL NOT WORK FOR YOU! Why?  Because it’s MY system, not yours.  That is why I created a system to help you design YOUR OWN system.  Cool huh!?  I walk men through this step by step process in my free 2 hour seminar “Be Yourself, Have Fun & Attract A Ton of Amazing Women Into Your Life.” so if you are in LA, sign up!

I’m also going to be doing a live tele-seminar soon for the guys who can’t make it to LA so keep a heads up for that.  But let me give you a little taste to help you get started.

Here is the first step:

Take a look at what you are currently doing.  Do you have a system?  Your damn well right you do!!  Everyone has a system whether they are aware of it or not and some systems work so poorly that you would never bother labeling it a system.  The average dude’s system is to engage a woman in conversation by making some ‘chodeball’ obvious comment that she’s heard a gazillion times.  “Wow, its really crowded in here, huh?”  “You out with your friends tonight?”  “Cool place, huh?”  LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME did I mention….. LAME? The next thing they do is ask a douchey interview style question.  “You from around here?”  “So where do you work?”  Also lame.  That system will even be dysfunctional for a guy who looks like Brad Pitt.  It pretty much shows you aren’t original and have no personality.  If you are guilty of this behavior, don’t sweat it, you didn’t know any better an no one ever taught you until now!   It doesn’t mean you are a douche or chodeball, it just means you don’t have a functional system for bringing out the awesome personality you have that only closest friends get to see.  So pat yourself on the back for finding this information because most guys will never have a clue.  What I’m saying is, notice your patterns and how you typically operate.  Think about the last really successful interaction you had with a woman.  How did it go?  What happened?  What sort of things did you say or do that you seem to say or do every time?  These are the steps to uncovering the current system you are using and pinpointing the parts that work and don’t work.

Your assignment is to post a comment below and explain your system and why or why not it’s working for you. If you skip this step, the others will not work and it is the foundation for everything else.   And like I said, I map this out in detail at my free workshop.

Cheers,

Robbie Kramer

In this post I’m gonna share my 4 Step Process for eliminating procrastination!

For as long as I remember, I’ve been a procrastinator.  But last week I noticed that I put off some activities and dive right into others.  You’re probably thinking, duh!  Big freaking whoop, Robbie, tell me something I don’t know.

To take it a step further, I realized that I really put off things I don’t know how to get started on.

I remember a few years back when one of my goals was to approach at least 1 beautiful woman a day during my lunch break.

When I first started, I would think of every excuse why not to and I ended up not doing it – procrastination at its finest.

I realized that the biggest excuse I used was “I don’t know what to say.”  The funny thing was that every time I actually did it, something random just spilled out of my mouth and that excuse was total bullshit but it still stopped me in my tracks.

So I decided to eliminate that excuse by doing the same approach to get started everyday.  I would just find a cute girl, walk up and say “hey this is totally random, but I think you are really cute.”

Sometimes I would immediately walk away, sometimes I would stay and talk and sometimes I would puss out and not do it at all, but I realized that eliminating that excuse, eliminated procrastination.

I also noticed myself procrastinating when it comes to work.

There were a couple documents I needed to create last week pertaining to an upcoming workshop I am leading and I kept putting it off.  I realized that I was putting it off because I didn’t know how to get started.

I noticed what I was doing and decided to try something new.  Rather then trying to push against the resistance like usual, I came up with a new solution.  I decided to devote 15 minutes and not a minute longer to the project.  It was just a way to get started that eliminated the feeling of overwhelm.

When I did this, I realized that the task was way easier then I thought and the anxiety and procrastination about doing it went right out the window.  I wanted to keep going but I kept my word about only doing it for 15 minutes, so I took a 2 minute break and then finished it.

I’m not claiming to be an expert on procrastination but if you find yourself dealing with the same sort of thing as me, give my method a try and if it works, PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT IT!

Here is the 4 step process broken down:

1. Notice why you are resisting a certain activity

2. Ask yourself what you need to get started

3. Devote a small period of time to take 1 step toward getting the project started

4. Keep your word

Step 4 is really important. If you follow steps 1-3 and you are still having trouble and feeling like crap, make sure you take a break to avoid burning out and getting more frustrated.  Simply take a break, and start over with steps 1-3.

Cheers,
Robbie Kramer

This article is about avoiding the common trap of the “chase” mentality that most men fall into and what to do instead to get women chasing you.  I’m also gonna talk about why women flake and how to put an end to it once and for all. The beauty of this topic is that it relates perfectly to sales, which is why im going to give you an analogy to clarify. You’re also gonna get quized!

Let’s say you are selling timeshares (vacation property) and I am an interested customer you meet at a convention. Your job is to look at the two scenarios below to decipher which is a more effective interaction.

Option 1:
You: Hi, do you have any questions about the properties?
Me: Yes, I am interested in the properties in the Mazatlan, how much are they?
You: They range from $300/month to $1500/month.
Me: Ok, and what comes with that?
You: All the homeowner fees, full use, gardening, maintenance.
Me: Great, i’m gonna think about it and let you know.
You: Ok, is there anything specific that you want to think about that will make your decision easier?
Me: Yeah, actually, I was wondering if some of the other companies are offering better deals.
You: I’m not 100% sure, we have the best deals that I know of, but if you can find one better, I’de be more then happy to match and beat it by 5%.  Would you like me to do a little research and let you know?
Me: OK great, thanks.
You: Is there anything else you need to consider before moving forward?
Me: Umm, im not sure…
You: Well, why don’t you think it over and I’ll follow up with you next week. Is that enough time for you to decide?
Me: Yeah thats great…

Option 2:
You: Hi, do you have any questions about the properties?
Me: Yes, I am interested in the properties in the Mazatlan, how much are they?
You: I’m so glad you asked, they range from $300/month to $1500/month. Some come with a pool, exercise room, cabana, full maintenance included. You should see the views on some of them, they are magnificent and there are some of the best golf courses around really close by. You would love it! Let’s get you started on the paper work alright!
Me: I’m not so sure im ready just yet, do you have any information I can take to look over?
You: Sure, here is a brochure and my business card if you have any questions, feel free to call.
Me: Great, thanks for the help…
You: Let’s follow up next week when are you free?
Me: I don’t really know my schedule, but I’ve got your business card so I’ll get back to you. Thanks.
You: You’re welcome, you’re really gonna love the properties, they are the best out there, looking forward to hearing from you.

So which strategy is more effective? Option 1 for many reasons but the main reason being that you (the salesman) simply answered the questions that were asked and got the customer (me) to commit to a follow up conversation. The salesman did it without being pushy or aggressive either. In Option 2, the mistake the salesman made was answering questions that were not asked and making assumptions about the customer (that they like golf, cabanas, views). They also failed to gain a commitment from the customer. Hopefully you noticed that you as the salesman from option 2 was pursuing me, the customer. When you pursue someone, they only have two options. They can either RESIST or they can SUBMIT. Can they pursue you if you are pursuing them? NO!! This is the mistake almost everyone in sales and almost every man who chases women make.  You can never get women to pursue you if you are always in pursuit.  So what can you do instead?

When you meet women, in essence you are selling yourself so the same basic rules apply.  Rather then pursuing, you can make offers and give them a choice.  Notice how in Option 1, the salesman simply answered questions and made an offer based on the customers needs?  A successful interaction with a woman would look something like this:

-Flirting (you are having fun and providing everyone around you value, thus your value and her attraction for you goes up)

-Connecting (the two of you are finding out if you connect emotionally and enjoy each others company)

-Future Projection (setting up a date, increasing sexual tension if you want to have fun that night, etc..)

-Make an offer, she accepts or rejects.  If she rejects but is still interested, she will counter offer.  If not, you can be pretty sure she isn’t interested and you screwed up one of the earlier steps.

Here’s one more example, you decide which is better… (assume that you think she is already attracted to you)

Option 1:

You: So here’s the deal, I’m gonna take you to this awesome little dive bar next week, but you have to promise to let me beat you at pool because I can’t take the damage to my ego.

Her: No way, i’m gonna kick your ass.

You: We’ll see about that, I’m pretty good and I cheat!

Her: haha, whatever so do I.

You: What day is good for you next week?

Her: I’m not sure, i’m pretty busy but lemme check my schedule when I get home.

You: Ok, what’s your number, we’ll figure it out later.

Her: Ok, its (658) 343-eryx

Option 2:

You: So here’s the deal, I’m gonna take you to this awesome little dive bar next week, but you have to promise to let me beat you at pool because I can’t take the damage to my ego.

Her: I hate dive bars.

You: We’ll aren’t you sassy, we can go somewhere else instead if you want?

Her: Yeah we’ll see, im super swamped at work right now so we’ll have to figure it out later.

You: What day is good for you next week?

Her: I’m not sure, i’m pretty busy.

You: Ok, what’s your number, we’ll figure it out later.

Her: I don’t think my boyfriend would like it if I gave it to you.

You: Oh come on, he doesn’t have to know.

Her: Ok, ill seeya later. Bye.

OK THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS! But I wanted you to see the obvious difference.  If you go out and watch for this, you will see this type of interaction constantly because most guys simply don’t get it.  In option 1, you were making offers and giving her the space to either say yes or make a counter offer.  In option 2, you were only pursuing and her only option was to at first submit, and later resist.  If you are getting flakes, it is because they are submitting.  People submit when they know they can back out later and they resist otherwise.  Think of some examples where you were the in the position of the person being sold to and leave a comment about your experience.

Cheers,
Robbie