It’s funny how often we make assumptions that lead to action and movement in the completely wrong direction.

“What is your focus in regards to improving your situation with women?

Is it more dates, more confidence, more sex, to find the one, to date multiple women, all of the above…”

“I think I want to focus on having higher quality interactions.”

“What does that mean?”

“I dunno, I guess I want more sex with women I find really attractive.”

“How many interactions with women you find attractive are you having per month?”

“Ten”

“How often do those interactions lead to a date?”

“About two out of ten.”

“How many of those dates result in sex?” Read more…

What have you done lately that really scared the shit out of you?

What have you done lately that pushed your comfort zone?

What have you done lately that made you slightly nervous?

If you answered “NOTHING” to the questions above then I’ve got one question for you.  How do you feel right now?

I’ve spent the last week in sunny Florida.

I’m with my girlfriend, visiting my grandparents and her grandparents and also spending some time at Disney World.  I’ve been eating lots of unhealthy food and spending a lot of time playing “Angry Birds” on my new Droid smart-phone.

If you haven’t heard of that game, don’t bother checking it out, it is a tremendous waste of time as are most video games.

I realized this evening that I’ve spent the last few days really beating myself up.  I feel fat, I feel bored, I feel useless and I feel numb.

What is going on? Read more…

It’s funny how we make things a lot more difficult then they have to be.  By we I mean men, and what I’m talking about specifically is approaching women.

Has something like this ever happened to you before:

You see a woman you find attractive.

You walk up to her and compliment her and then ask for her phone number or date.  It probably went something like this:

“Hey I just wanted to tell you that you are really beautiful, would you like to have coffee with me?”

She blows you off by either rolling her eyes, flat out saying no or says “Sorry I have a boyfriend.”

You walk away feeling deflated and a little stupid but at least you tried.  Better to walk away having tried then regretting would could have been, right?

I’ve been studying this stuff for a LONG time and during that time I approached thousands of women.  Hundreds of these approaches went Read more…

Have you ever gone out to a bar with the goal of getting a phone number, getting a kiss, getting some booty or having great interactions?

If you’re answer is “no,” then I know you are a liar!  We have all been there and you may be wondering, “What’s wrong with doing that?”

When we set a goal and it doesn’t happen, most of us beat ourselves up and decide to try harder next time.

Next time rolls around and since we have decided to try harder, now we’re gonna make the goal even tougher and push ourselves even more.

It doesn’t happen and we beat ourselves up again.

The problem is not that we suck, the problem is that our goals suck!

Key Point: Your goals must be measurable and they must be achievable with certainty.

You can approach every woman in the bar or the party but you can’t set the goal to get a date because you can’t Read more…

Today we have another excellent post by my good friend Eric Disco from Approach Anxiety

Socially anxiety is often accompanied by something else that few people, particularly in the community, are willing to talk about: depression.

When attempting to take action, it usually seems that anxiety is the main thing stopping us.

You want to take action, but anxiety feels like a brick wall in your way. You simply can’t do it.

But if social anxiety is a brick wall, depression is a fifty pound backpack filled with bricks.

It sucks up all your energy and enjoyment and makes you want to just go home and be anti-social, to not even attempt to get past your anxiety.

In some ways, guys who are trying to improve themselves with women are more susceptible to depression.

I recently met a guy who had actually turned into an alcoholic in part because it was so difficult for him to handle Read more…