I recently had an experience that taught me an important lesson about using techniques to meet women.  First of all, think about the definition of a technique.

Technique: the body of specialized procedures and methods used in any specific field

For a technique to become a technique, someone has to create a method and test it over and over to make sure it works.  Eventually, they share it with other people to help them achieve a certain result.  For example, let’s say I think of a great opening line to meet women and I test it out.  I find that almost every time I use it, it leads to a great conversation and the result I want, getting her number for example.  Next I blog about it and people like you search on Google for techniques to “open a conversation with women,” and find my technique.  You’ll ask yourself, “Will this work for me?” Maybe you’ll try it maybe not, it doesn’t matter.

Consider that the technique will ALMOST ALWAYS work much better for the person who invented it, then for someone who is using it. Mystery created the Mystery Method to attract women.  It worked fantastic for him because he used his creativity and personality to create it.  Will it work for you?  Only if you are just like Mystery.

When was the last time you got creative and invented something?  If I were to add up all the hours I’ve spent in the last few years learning technique after technique for meeting women, starting a business, making money, etc… it would be a HUGE percentage of the time.  What if I invested that time in being creative? Chances are I would have come up with something pretty cool and unique.  There’s obviously a balance, if you are completely green about a subject, you need a set of tools to get started.  Eventually, a master learns to use the tools so precisely that he realizes that he needs to create a new set of tools to take his mastery to a higher level.

Take a moment to ponder where you are on this journey of meeting women?  Are you stuck searching for the next technique in hopes of finding the magic pill to solve your problems with women?  Maybe the pill is out there, maybe it’s not, but my bet is that you have a better chance of creating your own pill by looking inside of you for the answer.  Too often we operate under the assumption that we are broken and need to be fixed. Unfortunately, that is an endless loop.  Consider how easy it would be to meet your ideal woman if you knew what you were looking for and knew how to test to make sure she fit the description.  Let’s say you’re like me and like brunettes that are sexy, curvy and a little intimidating looking.  A goofy, flirty and dorky personality, and the capacity to be open and honest.  She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.  When you see a woman who matches the physical description, you would want to find out if she also matches the personality traits you find attractive.  The only way to tell is to go talk to her right?  A technique might help you win her over, but why would you obsess over winning her over before you know if shes a good match for you?

Maybe you are just looking for a one night stand and any hot chick will do.  I’ve been there before and I certainly know that feeling.  If you don’t care what she’s like on the inside and you just wanna have fun, you’re going to need to find a girl who is looking for that too.

If you focus on the technique without first thinking about the desired result, you’re gonna struggle.  You wanna know how I met my girlfriend, Allison? (Girl to the left)  I went to a friend’s holiday party that I met through Landmark Education.  I knew that people who take Landmark are interested in personal growth, are very aware of their surroundings, are good at communicating and do not live their life as a victim.  These were all important characteristics I was looking for in a girlfriend.  I knew that most of the women at this party would fit this description so all I had to do was find an attractive one that knew how to have fun, be goofy and dorky.  Towards the end of the night, I spotted a girl who was stunning, friendly looking but a little intimidating.  I walked over to her and said “You are cute, I’m taking you on a date.”  “Oh yeah,” she said.  “Yup, I hope you like hot dogs because I’m taking you to the most expensive hot dog stand in town.”  She laughed and touched my arm and I knew I she was dorky, goofy and knew how to have fun.  Turned out that my Landmark stereotype proved correct as well and we found a gazillion things to talk about because I knew she was into the stuff I was into. My attitude wasn’t to get her.  My attitude was to find out if she was a fit for me. The techniques I used were being flirty and direct, and a little bit of banter.

Meeting women is really easy if you let it be.  If you are going out clubbing every night and looking for a girlfriend who is intellectual and fascinated by marine biology, you are searching in the wrong pond.  Go use your favorite technique at the local aquarium and you might have better results.

Lastly, get creative and start to invent your own techniques. The most successful people in this world and people who used their creativity to create something valuable to others.  I recently realized that I was trying to achieve success by copying others and doing the least amount of work possible.  I got to a point where I ran out of stuff to copy, and thank god that happened because it wasn’t any fun!

Cheers,

Robbie Kramer