This post is about turning yourself into a sexy beast who attracts women effortlessly and recognizing the gap between where you are now and what you want instead.  I’m gonna share some mistakes most guys make and the frame of mind that really attractive men embody.  The biggest mistake I made on my journey to improve my dating and social skills with women was doing text book cold approaches with a poor frame of mind rather then simply having fun interacting with women without being attached the outcome. What’s the difference?

Cold Approach = To approach and start a conversation with a total stranger, usually with a romantic intention.

Cold approaches are 99% ineffective for the average dude, which is why 75% of men NEVER even do one cold approach in their entire life. They are ineffective when the man fails to generate attraction in the woman. Attraction is not a choice, she will either be attracted or not and its completely based on the way you are being with her. (not your looks or the size of your wallet) If you are nervous, you will fail, if you have an agenda, you will fail, if you are trying to get something from her, you will fail and if you are thinking too much, you will fail. So how the hell do I succeed then Robbie???

Simple! You have fun and flirt her pants off! Let me tell you I came to this conclusion and how it effected my life. Here’s a before and after an of how a typical approach would go for me before I really worked on my inner confidence.

Before:

Robbie: “Excuse me, I saw you standing here and I had to come over and tell you that you are really cute, I’m Robbie.”

Her: “Thanks, that is so sweet.”

Robbie: “So what do you do?”

Her: “I’m in real estate.”

Robbie: “Oh cool, where did you go to school?”

CRASH AND BURN because I got into BORING interview style question mode.  APPROACH FAIL!!!!!

After

Robbie: “Hey you!!  You are REALLY F*&$ing cute!”

Her: “Thanks”

Robbie: “I’m really bad at this flirting thing so you’re gonna have to help me out, i’m sure you have a lot of practice.  I like long walks on the beach and ponies, unicorns and candlelit dinners.  I’m a Gemini which i’m sure gives you all the information you need about me and I don’t think that outfit you are wearing should be legal in public.”

Her: “HAHA, why not.”

Robbie: “You might as well just wear a HUGE sign on your back saying “Come hit on me,”  but see I know better.  That is why I just stood here and waited for you to approach me.”

Her: “No you approached me.”

Robbie: “No, you approached me, wanna argue about it?”

Her: “No”

Robbie: “Yes you do!” See your argueing with me now, I can’t take you anywhere!” etc…

Hopefully you’re getting the point!  If you want to connect with a stranger, there is no better way then connecting through laughter and flirting.  But most guys are so worried about what to say, they get all nervous, say one silly line they learn and then go into boring interview mode.  So, will this information work for you?  Unfortunately, probably not…

I’ve coached hundreds of guys and met thousands of wanna be pickup artists.  I can tell within 5 seconds if they have any chance of attracting women by just looking at them.  It is kinda like a 6th sense that I’ve developed that every woman has.  Here are some pictures of me so you can start to see the difference.

Before/After

Obviously there is quite an age gap here but if you really notice the subtleties of the images you can tell that in the first one, I look shy, standoffish and slightly scared, confused and nervous.  In the second I look more mysterious, confident and like I don’t give a shit.  In fact, when I posted the second picture on my facebook profile one of the comments I got was: “you look stoned in smirky sexy way.”  And that is really the difference.  The difference between the guy with inner confidence and the guy with no chance can be measured by the “Giving A Shit” thermometer – this is an actual thermometer you can find in West Hollywood, haha never mind, bad joke!   When I approached the girl in the 2nd scenario, I didn’t give a shit.  When you don’t give a shit, its easy to think of things to say because there’s no pressure.  The attractive guy validates himself while the unattractive guy seeks validation from others.  If you approach a woman and try to get her to like you, you have no chance!  I can give you guys all the greatest lines in the world.  I’ve approached well over a thousand women and what you say matters very little.  But what won’t work is walking up nervous, saying something lame and inauthentic and going into boring interview mode.

Exercise: So the next time you’re out and you want to meet women.  Try a few approaches by not giving a shit.  A simple exercise to do is to approach with the intention of being rejected.  Walk up and say “Hey, can you do me a favor and tell me to f-off?”    or “Hello, can I get your phone number so I can add it to my collection and brag to my friends about the hot girls number I got?”  or “You look like a friendly person, can I have $500 dollars?  Come on I thought you were friendly.”  It doesn’t matter what you say, just have fun saying something stupid that is gonna get your rejected and celebrate rejection success when you do!

The ultimate frame of mind to have while interacting with women: “I don’t give a shit what happens between us, but I’m really fascinated by you.”

Why do you think it’s easier to meet women when you already have a girlfriend?  Yup, it’s because that is the mindset you probably have when you are in a relationship.  And let’s forget about women, do you think this mindset will work in a job interview, YEAH!!!  I would walk in, answer their questions while not really giving a shit and then start to interview them to make sure the job is exactly what I want and find out whether or not it is fascinating enough to make me want to take it.

One of my favorite comedians – he clearly doesn’t give a shit… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_W2IqTK1Eg

Cheers,

Robbie