What To Do If She Isn’t Texting Back
Hey Robbie,
I met this girl online dating. We went on a coffee date that went well, I texted her the next day and we end up setting up a date for the weekend.
That date also ended up going really well, we kissed a few times, she was giving me a bunch of compliments, the conversation was easy and funny, etc…
The only mistake I can think of that I may have made was getting a little “ungrounded” towards the end (after a few drinks), when I realized this girl that I really like also seems to really like me. (I’m starting to realize how my internal state affects women’s reactions to me, but that being said, there weren’t any major screwups.) I take her home, kiss her goodnight, etc.
I wait two days and then text her, and I get no response.
This doesn’t immediately concern me since I remember her saying she’s a fan of “He’s Not That Into You” which teaches women that men will chase them endlessly if they are actually interested.
I also notice that she made it a point to end the dates at a high point (which is straight out of “The Rules”), so I figure she must be gaming/testing me.
So I wait a few more days and text her back. She responds, apologizes for not responding to my previous one, writes me some long response.
I then ask her out for the weekend, and she tells me she’s going to a wedding (which I believe is true, since I recall her mentioning it before.)
She says she’ll be back on Sunday and will be around during the week. So, I tell her ok, text me when you get back in town.
So, my question is, should I wait for her to text me and if she doesn’t, just move on and assume she’s not interested or is a game player not worth my time?
Or, should I text her again and continue to pursue her until I get a definite answer?
I would like to see her again for sure, but I don’t want to get caught in some endless loop where she has all the power.
I’m wondering about your perspective about when women pull this kind of thing. Is it just a normal part of the chase, or did I likely make a mistake during the date?
-Ryan
My Response
Hey Ryan,
I think you have done everything perfectly so far, no question about it! That is awesome.
Hard to say if she is playing games or she is just absent minded when it comes to getting back to people.
You can’t really be sure.
What you can do is basically lay down the law of what you expect from her. You can do that in a playful way or a serious way, depending on what you want and what you think will be the most effective if you really wanna see her again.
I might say something over the top and aggressive:
“Hey Miss ____, you’re AWESOME in person but you SUCK at texting and scheduling, I wanna hang out again but in the meantime, I’m gonna need to see a MASSIVE change in your behavior! Yeah, I’m kinda a scheduling psycho-deal with it!”
You could go the less aggressive and safe route by just playing her game and acting nonchalant about it as well:
“Hope the wedding went well, when are you free this week?”
Or you could go kinda in between and call her out less aggressively:
“Hey ____, not to be that guy that texts a girl and texts her AGAIN before she texts him back, but yeah… your fault.”
Do what feels right to you and what you think she will respond most positively towards.
Don’t send something you aren’t comfortable with.
Texts can get lost in translation so you might want to try calling her as well if you think that might be a better way.
Happy Texting,
Robbie Kramer
P.S. My buddies wrote a book all about texting, if you want to check it out here’s the link: https://theartofcharm.infusionsoft.com/go/txt1/inner/
(Yes, I’ll make a piddly commission if you buy it but I only promote stuff I like, so deal with it! 
)
HAHA, Love it J! Hear ya go guys, straight from the horses mouth. It’s true, most women over the age of 25 might think you are a wimp if you don’t have the balls to pickup the phone and call.
Okay, so I’m older, and female, but seriously in my book, if you like me, then freakin’ pick up the bloody phone! Nothing beats the sound of your voice. Texts are fine, but if you’re interested, I’m certainly worth more than a text. Do you guys do that anymore?
Glad this was useful. What type of texts are you sending Cammy?
Thats interesting that this article came up for me just as I’ve gone on a massive “no one will text me back” spree, I wonder what I’m doing wrong…..
Cameron recently posted..Continuation Bet
I like all of them. Is the basic of what your saying is not to be too invested either way as long as you’re not giving away your power?
You put up with more than I would. Regardless if she’s absent minded or playing games – I don’t even lay it down, I just move on.
Good blog post as usual Rob.I’ve always had this issue as late as yesterday.This article is useful.