One of our Leverage members, Tom, recently posted this text exchange in our group and asked for feedback.
Backstory from Tom:
I met a hot Mexican hottie yesterday. She spoke broken english with a sexy accent. I was at Jumpstreet trampolines with my kids. Alondra gets to the place with 4 kids at the same time as us. I had fun talking to her in line and found her watching me do 6 back flips in a row.
She said I could sit down with her at her table. We laughed and had a connected conversation. She gave me her number and said she was to busy with her kids to date anyone right now with her 5 year old and 50 hour work weeks. Hmmm should I follow up with a meme?
If she has kids 24-7 and no time to date should I invite her and my kids to our first date or keep it all separate? Ice her. Call her. Text her one last time
Here are our response:
1. Hot Mexican Hottie: other than the redundancy of Hot and Hottie, this was discussed with last ‘Texas hottie’. Dudes crushing ‘hotties’ don’t talk this way.
2. ‘My treat’. I’m 99% sure you did this before and we crushed you for it. First, no shit it’s your treat- that’s assumed when you ask a girl out. Second, it sounds ultra desperate.
3. Did you follow up ask her out after she no responded to your first text?
4. Did you text her at 9:45am?! After texting her at 9pm w no response?
And now you are contemplating a meme?
Lemme get this straight- your plan on getting this girl is to send three texts to her zero?
What % of the time that guys send the first 3 texts to her zero do you think they sleep with that girl?
Great critique. Thanks Justin. No meme or third text. I’ll just ice her sounds good.
Just to clarify. Icing implies that she is texting you and you aren’t responding, which is what she is already doing to you. You can’t ice someone who is already icing you, lol. Any girl who says she is too busy to date anyone is her code for “I’m too busy to date you, because I’m not attracted to you.”
Stop asking if she got your text! It’s 2015, your text went though. Every single time I see you do this, I cringe.
Meeting kids is usually considered a serious step in a committed dating relationship. Not appropriate for a first date. As Robbie described, she’s not providing legitimate obstacles why she can’t date you; she’s providing socially acceptable excuses to avoid saying “I’m not interested” which is uncomfortable and socially awkward.
With this sort of feedback, Tom will become a pro at texting in no time. It’s crazy how bad I used to be. I would send cringeworthy stuff like this regularly. The importance of texting in our dating culture is incredibly overlooked.
To learn more, download the free Texting Ebook.