I was a bottle service cocktail waitress at a popular nightclub in San Francisco for 6 years.
I’ve been around the block
There are typically a few types of guys you will run into that buy tables. Once you have a better perspective of what everyone else is doing, it’s easier to understand where you fit in and whether or not you’re the type of person who would enjoy bottle service or if it makes more sense to meet women somewhere else.
The 4 primary types of dudes who you’ll see getting tables in the clubs these days
When you understand the four different types of guys that girls typically deal with when at tables, you can position yourself accordingly and understand the dynamics happening around you.
If it’s not a situation that you’re accustomed to, it can be pretty confusing and can take a long time and a lot of money to figure out. I got you covered!
1. The expense account guy (aka the guy who isn’t paying for it with his own money)
The expense account guy is the guy who gets tables, but it’s totally obvious that he’s not the one who’s actually paying for it.
Whether it’s his parents money, or his bosses…this guy usually comes paired with super drunk, belligerent friends who are rude to the waitstaff and generally all over the place.
They don’t seem to appreciate what they have in terms of service, and with their group the bottle rats are abundant, and even their bottle rats come with an attitude!
They don’t HAVE to be assholes, but they typically are. I’m not sure why, but theres something about people who are spending other people’s money that makes them less appreciative for the experience as a whole, and this comes through in their behavior.
They are often combative, very very drunk, and not put together. Turn off! They are known to tip badly, as well. I don’t think I have to delve into why this type of person is annoying and not respectable.
2. The rookies
Bless their hearts, they are trying to be cool.
They are new at this, and don’t really understand how to navigate around a club.
They are usually very enthusiastic, have multiple questions, and at least one member of their group will get in a fight with someone by the end of the night or get kicked out of the club for being too sloppy.
They are the no-chill group.
Once in a blue moon you’ll come across a rookie who thinks hes too cool for school because he’s spending “tons of money”. But for the most part, these guys just look silly and try-hard.
3. The regulars
The regular are the guy or group of guys who come in all the time, know the staff, bring a solid crew with them and generally know what they’re doing. SWOON.
Many of my regulars went on to become my good friends (or hookups, lol) even after I stopped doing bottle service.
They’re good guys to know because, they know and understand social protocol and are respectful people.
They tend to have a swagger to them.
They’ve made an effort over the years to actually be my friend and not treat me like I’m beneath them.
My regulars are people that I’ve learned a lot from. They typically have dynamic, lucrative and interesting jobs that allow them to spend money on bottle service on a regular basis.
They’re inspiring people who have served as mentors for me as well.
For whatever reason, people who get bottle service on a regular basis tend to generally be solid individuals that other people are going to be attracted to.
They may have not started out that way, but they’ve learned a lot from the time they’ve spent out in social situations and at nightclubs, and it comes through in the way they dress, speak and act.
As someone who is looking from the outside in, it has been interesting to be that person who is in a position to watch the change in them over the years, to see them go from a shy, dorky guy to a baller who runs the scene, becoming a guy I want to hook up with.
It is inspiring to watch! Now, it’s the people who don’t change, and continue to be out in the clubs spending/wasting money on bottles every weekend that make me wonder what it is they’re doing and why. And believe me, there ARE a lot of people who take this route!
Not every regular goes on to be a legend, but most are guys who I would put in the “A” category.
Another point I want to make is, people who get bottle service on a regular basis typically don’t do it for entertainment purposes only. That is how it begins, but as time goes on it stops being so much about fun and becomes more of a second job to them.
They are making sure the money they spend on bottles goes further than just down their throats, and it becomes a legitimate networking tactic that actually progresses or advances their lives in one way or another.
Usually, these people also become great friends with the owners of the club and will get hooked up with tons of friends and family discounts, and they become part of the club family as well.
We will go out of our way to look out for them, have their backs and truly regard them as VIP’s.
4. The Promoters
The promoter doesn’t always have to be a douchebag, but hey…there’s a reason the stereotype exists.
Now the disclaimer: there is always the exception to the rule (blah blah blah), and I know a couple promoters that I absolutely love to serve.
Guys that I consider friends, and guys who are considerate individuals that don’t make you feel like your presence is getting in the way of their paycheck.
That being said, most promoters are simply just a pain in the ass and sleazy to boot. Their behavior oozes “I don’t give a fuck about you”. There’s something about the promoter vibe that not only makes me want to NOT go out of my way for them like I would any other client…I actually have found myself wanting to sabotage them in some way, lol!!
They’re pompous and expect so much at the same time. High maintnence with attitude. Bad tippers. They often act like God’s Gift, which annoys the entire staff.
The promoter behavior and attitude make it SO abundantly clear that he’s just here for the money, and it takes away the enthusiasm I have as a server. Often times too, they don’t even tip – the club tips us on their behalf!
When you make your intentions super clear to someone, it takes away some of your power. If I know exactly what it is that you want, there’s no need to play any more games and the relationship becomes VERY cut and dry all of a sudden. I stop being as polite, and more jaded. Their presence begins to irritate me and I don’t feel the need to give them as good of service, as bad as that sounds.
So, I guess the lesson here is, don’t ever make your intentions too clear, and treat people with respect even if you don’t think they can offer you something at that moment. Take the extra time to make people feel appreciated, and they really will bend over backwards for you.
Now don’t get me wrong, not all promoters are like this. The ones that really know what they’re doing have every staff member of the club in love with them and swinging from their nutsack! – lol.
They can do their job and create great relationships at the same time…it’s totally possible!
It can be easy to get an ego, it’s on you to keep it in check, even if you are bringing something to the table. Don’t make people loath you – it’s that simple.
All that being said – there’s all kinds of people who get tables for bottle service and not everyone is going to fit into these 4 categories. I mainly wanted to provide you a little chuckle from my personal experience serving these types of people.
My top tips to an enjoyable bottle service experience
You don’t have to get bottle service regularly but I would suggest to get it maybe once every other month.
When you do get a table, go back to the same clubs and people who worked with you the last time.
They will remember you, and forming relationships in this industry is KEY to a successful night.
It really can make all the difference in your entire experience. Save their numbers, give them a heads up when you’re coming in, tip well.
Be thoughtful about who you are inviting along to your table.
If you have a buddy who you love but is very loud and obnoxious, are you going to want your friends at your favorite club to associate you with this kind of a person?Maybe skip inviting him to this kind of an event and go grab beers with him tomorrow afternoon instead.
Remember, people will judge you based on your friends and their behavior. It might not be fair but its true!
Do NOT get champagne, no matter how much peer pressure you’re getting!
Unless someone else wants to throw down on bottles of Rose, do NOT succumb to the Champagne hype.
Champagne looks fancy and the girls do love it, but unless you’re truly balling and are ok with spending $$$$ on enough champagne for everyone to really get wasted off of, it’s a waste of money!
Theres’s only 5 glasses of champagne in a bottle and it goes fast. And if you spray champagne, I will punch you.
Tip well. Yes, it sounds obvious.
But, if you tip the right people well – this can mean free entry fro you and your group the next time you stop by the club and don’t feel like getting a table.
Or it can mean an amazing table location versus a broke dick one. An extra $50 here and there really does go far, and I’d suggest tipping your VIP Host, server or the manager of the club only.
Only tip a doorman on a situational basis only. I.E. if you’re trying to get a big group in, tip the doorman that one time but not every time.
Keep your eye on the clock and don’t be the last group straggling out of the club, trying to get every last drop of alcohol down your throat.
If you have good relationships sometimes they’ll even put your booze in a water bottle to go for you.
Show up at the right time.
Showing up late (often past 11:30pm if the club closes at 2am) will result in getting unfavorable table locations, waiting in lines, etc.And after 11:30 the door tends to be very hectic, so your arrival during that hectic time is going to stress out your host.
If you do this regularly, you will be associated with this stressful feeling and it will come through in the way they treat/feel about you.
In NY, Paris, Belgrade and other party spots where clubs go much later, just use the 2 hour rule.
You don’t want to show up within 2 hours of closing time if you want to take full advantage of your investment in bottle service.
Either bring girls, or pull girls to your table.
This should be an obvious one.
Utilize the money you are spending by either using it to get chicks, or using chicks to make new relationships with other dudes you want to know.
Either way, girls are needed for this and girls tend to be bottle rats so its not too difficult to achieve
Invite the staff to your after-party.
This is a great way to not only fuck hot bottle service girls but create and strengthen relationships as well.
Ta, ta…for now!
For more on how to optimize your experience at clubs, check out this article we wrote on the Unspoken Rules of Bottle Service.
Traditionally, peacocking might mean wearing black nail polish or goggles or Matrix-style trench coats to get attention.
I’ve even seen dudes dress up in full-on costumes in a lame effort to stand out from the crowd.
They stand out from the crowd, all right.
That method of peacocking might work for some people but for the most part, it’s absolutely ridiculous and makes you look like an idiot more than it gets you laid.
Go for Subtlety
Less is more. The only way I’ve ever peacocked that’s worked has been to wear one thing that’s subtle.
If a girl wants to talk to you and you’re wearing a $20 Swatch watch, she’ll say, “Oh my god! I love your watch…”
This is often her way of communicating, “I think you’re awesome, I want to talk to you.”
And even if she really did just want to compliment you on your watch, you at least have her 1-on-1 attention to win her over.
Subtle peacocking doesn’t scream, “Look at me!” It gives a woman a reason to initiate conversation with you without looking like a slut in front of her friends.
I had a friend who, for an entire year, wore a bright purple fuzzy hat every night. All his buddies gave him shit, but he’d walk into a bar and within a matter of minutes some girl would come up to him and say, “Oh, I love your hat!” She’d start touching it. They’d start talking. And as soon as she put the hat on, he knew who he was taking home that night.
By the way, if a chick takes your clothes, you know she’s into you. It’s a very personal act to put on another person’s clothes. If she puts on your jacket, your sunglasses, your hat, whatever, it’s a sign you’re on the right track.
Pick Your Peacock Poison
I got a pin from my buddy that’s a “Fun Meter.”
On the meter, there are three options: Having an OK Time, Having Fun, and AWESOME! I’d put the pin on, set it to whichever dial I felt like, and start talking to people.
I can’t tell you how many women have walked up to me to play with my Fun Meter.
But before you run out to buy a Fun Meter pin or a purple fuzzy hat, remember that your subtle peacock piece has to match your personality.
If you’re the mysterious, brooding type, a Fun Meter is not going to work for you.
Pick something that feels right that you think will invite girls to come talk to you, and then try it out. Some things will work, others won’t.
The Lesson: Peacocking for the sake of peacocking is a waste of time and it makes you look ridiculous. Go for subtlety with the intention of extending an invitation for girls to come talk to you and you’ll see results – if you’re doing everything else right [LINK: The Secret to Being a Social Beast].
The ability to integrate with the cool kids is crucial to being able to attract hot girls.
A lot of people think that “cool” is a group, and when we talk about “cool kids,” it’s slightly misleading. “Cool” is not a group.
It’s a way of being, and there are three stages to it.
Stage 1 of Cool: The Trimmings
This is the most basic level of cool, it’s the entry level.
And when I say “trimmings” I’m talking about your clothes and your physical appearance.
95% of the time, geeks and nerds are wearing clothes that are too big for them and it instantly gives them away as not cool.
Unless you’re a celebrity, millionaire businessman, or you have something else really awesome going for you, you have to dress well to attract girls. If you don’t know how, read this – The Easiest Way to Become More Dynamic.
There’s no excuse for dressing like an idiot.
I guarantee that you will never see a 9 with an out-of-shape, poorly dressed dude unless he’s loaded or has something else going for him.
Go to the gym and get some clothes that actually fit to achieve the most basic stage of cool.
Don’t Fool Yourself
I hate it when I hear guys say, “I just want to meet a nice girl who doesn’t buy into all this ‘cool’ stuff.” Don’t conclude that you can’t have something so therefore you don’t like it.
This is called cognitive dissonance.
No one wants to hang out with a hater! The hottest chicks spend at least an hour a day working out, so you should, too.
If you want to get girls who are fit and smart and have money, you have to dress well and be in shape. Don’t kid yourself.
Stage 2 of Cool: Ease
You can tell if someone’s at stage 2 of cool if you feel comfortable around them. If you feel relaxed, and they put other people at ease, that person is cool.
They have an ability to be a chameleon: they can adapt to any social situation and fit in with any crowd.
More importantly, this person doesn’t make you feel awkward. Geeks make you feel awkward because they are uncomfortable with themselves and emotions are contagious. Cool people who are comfortable with themselves put you at ease, too.
When you get to this point, women will feel good around you.
They will be much more willing to open up and connect with you. This level of comfort and confidence is what they’re looking for, and they’ll be able to see it in your body language, eye contact, and conversation. At stage 2 you can do really well with women.
Stage 3 of Cool: Not Giving A Fuck
It appears that some people are born with a cool gene. Nope, they learned it through osmosis from their parents, siblings, friends and social circle at a young age.
You always know who they are because they simply don’t give a fuck about things that aren’t fuckworthy.
In other words, they don’t sweat the small stuff. People who are naturally cool are indifferent about most things; they don’t get excited about ordinary stuff.
On the other hand, geeks are constantly getting uber excited about things that aren’t a big deal.
The guys who developed this stuff early on are usually called “naturals”: they just know what to do at all times, and they don’t give too much of a shit what you think of them.
These guys were typically the tallest, best looking kids in school who also excelled in team sports.
The varsity quarterback wins prom king almost every year right?
For a more scientific look at this, check out this podcast: How The Latest Research On High Performance Applies to Dating/Success With Women.
Not everyone grows up to be a natural but you can take steps to improve your attractiveness. Let us help you identify which stage of cool you’re in, and make changes to up your game.