Improving your speaking voice is something that 99% of guys don’t do, and as a result it’s a secret way to make yourself more attractive to women.
Women are attracted to a guy with a powerful voice, and the qualities they are attracted to are not something you’re born with. They are all things that you develop.
Some guys are fortunate to have naturally picked up good habits from their peers, friends, and families. But even professionals like sportscasters have spent hundreds of hours working on their own and with coaches to sound more confident.
Since you’re the type of guy who puts in effort to improve his life, you know that knowledge is useless without action. The awesome thing about improving your vocal power is that the only action it requires is 10 minutes of practice each day, or even every other day.
In fact, since you risk straining your vocal cords when you first start out, it could actually be detrimental if you spend more than 10 minutes practicing! With that said, you have no excuse for not giving these tips a try, and with just a little practice, they’ll make your overall vibe much more confident.
1. Breathe from the diaphragm
Even though it’s the only skill we’ve been using since birth, most people actually breathe incorrectly. Take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and exhale. Did you shoulders rise and fall? If they did, that means you’re breathing wrong. Correct breathing happens from the diaphragm, not the chest. When you breathe, the only thing that should be moving is your stomach because that means you’re properly breathing from your diaphragm.
This has two effects on your speech. First, it allows your lungs to properly inflate and push air past your vocal cords in the way that they are designed for. You will sound more comfortable, authoritative, and confident. Second, breathing from the diaphragm has a relaxing effect on the nervous system, which is why it forms the basis of many forms of meditation. This helps your speech by removing any signs of anxiety you might have.
2. Speak Up
Are you ever too quiet? Lie on the floor and practice projecting your voice all the way to the ceiling. If you are used to talking too quiet, it may feel in your mind like you are overcompensating, but others won’t see it this way. They’ll just appreciate the improved projection, and your speech will sound normal to them.
Imagine a CEO of a company addressing his subordinates: he is loud, but it comes off as confidence rather than overcompensation. Believe it or not, you can convey the same impression simply by projecting better through talking to your ceiling.
3. Exhale when you speak
Sometimes people breathe in ways that aren’t timed properly with their speech, or worse, hold their breath when they speak. Only speak when you are exhaling. I’ll repeat this because it’s so important: only speak when you are exhaling. If your stomach is not coming in, you should not be speaking. Vocal cords work by moving air across them, and this is done most efficiently on a proper out-breath. That’s the only time you should be speaking.
4. Convey authority
This is another simple fix. When you finish a sentence, it should end on a downward inflection. We all subconsciously process an upward inflection as a question, but you may not realize when you have been ending your statements this way. Actively pay attention to the notes you use in your sentences and make sure that you are ending your sentences on a lower note than you began with. This will help you convey authority through your voice in a way that other people pick up on subconsciously.
5. Great Artists Steal
Pick a role model. Commentators on ESPN are great models to emulate because they sound professional, confident, and powerful, yet they don’t have the phoniness or douchiness of your typical newscaster. Most comedians are great too. LIstening to a recorded speech and pausing to focus on the small details is a great way to learn the subtle nuances of effective speech. Speaking it back is how you can make it your own.
6. Stop using filler words
Some Toastmasters clubs use a technique that is great for this: when any speaker uses a filler word like “um”, “uh”, “ah”, “well”, etc. a designated person will ring a bell or sound a buzzer. Hearing a few buzzes makes you stop and pause before saying “um”, and pausing is really what you should be doing instead. Pausing in the middle of a sentence is fine because it strengthens the emphasis of whatever you say next. Either get someone to help you out when you practice speaking by ringing a bell or buzzer, or record yourself, listen to it back, and keep track of your own filler words.
7. Stop mumbling
Do you mumble? Lucky for you, this one’s an easy fix: Practice opening your mouth wider. It’s that easy because it’s an automatic fix. This has the added bonus of slowing you down if you speak too fast, since it forces you to enunciate better. When you are practicing this, exaggerate it. Open your mouth as wide as you can. Do it in the mirror and you’ll be surprised to see how normal it still looks, even when you’re opening your mouth way wider than you normally do. Practice reading or speaking some sentences off the top of your head and focus on opening your mouth wider, and you will train your brain to stop mumbling.
Go ahead and give these a shot, because they’re one of the few skills that only takes a little bit of effort to master. Record your speech practice, and over time, you’ll be amazed at how much more confident you sound.