Carly, Author at Inner Confidence Page

5 Ways To Always Be In Style

Women pay attention to your clothing. Your personal style can signal your positive, attractive traits, or it can repel hot women away from you. What’s the minimalist, easy way to make sure you always look good? It’s simple. Keep items in your wardrobe that will always be in style, and nail down your fundamentals.

1. The White Shirt
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Any combination of crew-neck/long sleeve or long sleeve/v-neck will work. Make sure you get a few of each style that works for you. White gets dirty easily, and to a woman, there’s nothing worse than meeting a nice guy and not being able to concentrate on anything but the red spaghetti stains dripping down his shirt.

2. Ditch the other stains too
I’ll spare the pictures for this one. However, If you have shirts that tend to show when you perspire, don’t wear them out. If you don’t know or its questionable, don’t wear them out… Stay with white, dark greys, dark blues, and black. If you perspire at an uncomfortable amount, look into some over-the-counter medicine or talk with a medical professional. This especially important during day game where she’ll notice the littlest imperfection in your outfit.

3. Dark wash jeans are your best friend
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While it’s true that black, white, khaki, and colored jeans can look awesome, they all go through their fazes of being “cool” or in style. Dark wash blue jeans are your one pair that will never have to leave you. I’d suggest investing a decent amount into these. The ones listed above you can get at Nordstrom for $82.00. Make sure to get “straight leg” versus skinny or slim fit.

4. You’re not 16 anymore, so keep your shoes cleaned
Pair of Dirty Worn Shoes Stacked on One Another Isolated on White Background.

Please, never wear old running shoes outside of the gym. Scoffs and dirty shoelaces can be cleaned with dish soap or hydrogen peroxide with minimal effort. Take the time to clean them so your shoes are always looking new. If they don’t look new after a good cleaning, it’s time to invest in a new pair.

5. Wear your Inner Confidence
The best thing you could ever own is you. Whatever outfit you’re in, no matter the setting, it’s important to carry yourself with a strong and confident demeanor. Especially when meeting women, always greet people with a firm, strong handshake. Look at people in the eye, and smile when they’re talking to you. Stay in good shape. Taking charge of your overall health is a necessary and admirable trait. If you believe you’re the best, other people will too.

How to Turn Her on Outside of the Bedroom

by Carly Leave a Comment

If you’ve ever spent any time around a woman, you know the quickest, simplest thing can turn them off like a lightswitch. Just like that, they’re done, from “I love you so much and want to marry you” to “go jump off a cliff, you suck.”

Just like that they can turn off, but why can’t we turn them on just as quickly? Well, you can. We’re here to tell you the trick. The problem is that most men only try to turn on their women when already in the bedroom.

While that is important, it’s just as, if not more, important to turn her on out of the bedroom. You wine and dine her, you’re probably going to go back home to a nice desert. But if you don’t do the dishes after she’s asked three times…I think you can see how that night’s going to end.

Women are like sponges: they take in everything, all of the time. So we’ve put together a list of things with little or no cost that you can do to warm her up during the day, and in turn make for one hot night. Women like originality, so the more personable you can make these, the more points you’re going to score.

Hug her

Not just a side hug or a light embrace. Hold her tightly, until she ends it. Holding her will remind her you’re her protector and that you’re there to keep her safe. Actually enjoy it, and let her know you appreciate holding her. Bonus points if you can get her to initiate it.

2. Buy her a pair of panties

Buying lingerie seems cliche right? When’s the last time you’ve done it? If you want to go all out, get a matching bra and panty set. If you want to spend a little less, just get a red silk thong, or ask someone to help you pick out a pair at Victoria Secret. The trick to this one is giving it to her at a time when you’re obviously not going to have sex right then and there. Some ideas you could do for this are hiding a box at her house while you’re away, and text her where it is, or giving the box to her at dinner and telling her to go change into them in the bathroom. This gives her a chance to play along with you. (IMPORTANT: Make sure you get the RIGHT size!!!)

3. Whisper into her ear

This one works especially well around people. Tell her how sexy she looks, talk about the underwear you saw her wearing underneath, or tell her all of the things you want to do to her later.

4. Write it out

Write her a card, a note, a poem. Just write her something, anything. There is nothing more genuine than taking the time to write down how you feel about her. Your vulnerability will be so sexy to her. Explain why you love her, or thank her for something she did. This will be something she’s going to keep for a very long time, so put some thought into it. (Hint: this one can be reused over, and over, and over again in many different ways so get creative and switch it up!)

5. A picture is worth a thousand words

Planting a picture of her in your wallet is a really nice gesture, but a little outdated. Posting a picture of her on your social media will make her see how you want to show her off, which is extremely sexy. Another route would be to update your screensaver to a picture of you two, or even send one in a text to her with a message saying what you liked about that day. Bonus points: writing a note on the back of a printed out picture and leaving it for her somewhere.

6. Forget a good night cup of tea

Bring her some hot chocolate to bed, this works as a sexual stimulant for her. Accompany it with some fruit or marshmallows. Turn off the TV and put down the phones for this one. Ask her how her day was, what her favorite memory as a kid was, or something stimulating for her (in other words, just ask her about herself).

7. Trap her

…and kiss her. Push her down on the couch, pin her to the wall or lock her in a room you normally wouldn’t go it like the laundry room or a big closet. Kiss her passionately, and after a minute, leave with a smile on your face. This will drive her crazy wanting more, and will surely leave her weak in her knees. Just be careful not to push her into, or onto, anything that will hurt. This will most likely ruin the vibe you were trying to go for.

8. Surprise! I’m here!

While you may not always want her to show up somewhere out of the blue, if done right, she’ll love it. Show up on her lunch break or while she’s getting ready for an event to drop off some flowers. She’ll be drooling over you the rest of the day. (Bonus points if her friends/family are there as witness)

9. Unlock her

Kiss her ankles, knees, elbows, wrists, and knuckles. These areas often get less attention than others, kissing her in these places will transfer energy to her and in turn, have her come “unhinged”.

10. Forget the roses

Get her a plant that she can keep alive (just don’t tie this plant to the life of your love together, just in case she can’t.) Every time she waters it, she’ll think of you. Plants are great for many reasons. Plants are a natural humidifier, they lower amount of carbon dioxide, can prevent allergies, reduce amount of colds, decrease blood pressure, prevent headaches, negate cigarette smoke, and provide many other species-specific benefits. Not to mention she’ll see it everyday and appreciate you.

Any indoor plant will suffice, unless she has a yard or patio with direct sunlight. If she likes to cook, get her an herb. If you know she can’t keep anything alive, get something that requires little water or attention. Any plant nursery will be happy to help, just tell them your requirements and make sure they tell you the best way to take care of it.

After years of wondering why you gave her a massage and she still doesn’t want to have sex afterwards, I’m happy to share with you this secret. If you’re not romantic out of the bedroom, or wherever your place of choice is, she won’t want to be your kinky little sex freak in the bedroom. Luckily, this mentality of hers isn’t permanent and has the chance to be immediately reversed. Remember, you want to do these things without (seemingly) wanting sex at the moment, the more random and spontaneous you can make these, the better.

I Don’t Ever Lie

by Carly Leave a Comment

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. has conducted research that shows how typical humans lie in one out of every five daily interactions. The type of lies we tell isn’t really important. What is important is to consider the ways we can’t help but cushion the truth.

It’s common for guys to only tell parts of the truth, and leave out the less desirable details because they’re afraid of difficult conversations.

So why do we do it? Lies occur for many reasons. Lying by omission, for instance, is often done to spare someone’s feelings from being hurt. Exaggeration and self-protection lies would be done in vain. Gossip, another form of lie, can be seen as cynicism. The important thing to understand is that the more you lie, the less people value your integrity.

Have you ever lied about something major and had to keep coming up with more lies to keep the story going? Yeah, me too. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

Lying puts more strain and weight on your life. Every time you lie, it’s like carrying a rock on your back. Some are pebbles, like lying to your trainer about what you ate that day. Some are boulders, like lying to your boyfriend or girlfriend about your recent encounter with that cute Aussie at the bar last night. The more you lie, the heavier you feel. So how do you lose that weight?

Jumping on opportunities to look cool or high status is one way that guys often lie, and it’s always a losing proposition. When you’re interacting with new women, your only goals should be to meet people and to have fun, NOT to try to look cool or high status. Be honest and show who you are fully, without telling small lies to try to look cool.

Be conscious of your lies. First, have to be honest with yourself. Side benefit: there’s nothing sexier than self-awareness.

First things first, you have to come clean about past lies or hidden truths. The people you’ve lied to may get upset. That’s why you have to bring up the conversation, especially if it is serious. Let them know you lied, tell them that you want to come clean and not hurt them anymore by lying, and let them know what it was.

Being kind is a virtue, but it’s important to be choosy about who you are nice to. Far too often, people tell white lies because they don’t want to hurt other’s feelings, without really considering if it’s someone whose feelings they really need to protect. It’s more advantageous to be selective about who you invest in. If you can successfully tap into your assertive side or even your disagreeable side, you can leave everyone better off by bringing honesty to social interaction.

You will feel lighter, and the person you lied to will have an easier time trusting you knowing that you’re going through this life change. All relationships should be win-win, and the only way to truly accomplish this is by being brutally honest.

The Hardest Weight To Lose

by Carly Leave a Comment

As a health and fitness coach, I’ve seen tons of people both lose and gain weight. While people come to me for first for health advice, it usually evolves into life advice, because we develop deeper relationships with the people who help us. In so many situations, the advice follows similar patterns, and the best advice I could ever give is to be honest.

Be honest with your family, friends, coworkers, social media followers, and acquaintances. But overall, be honest with yourself. Being honest with others can only happen when you’re honest with yourself.

Most people are too scared to be honest with themselves. Let’s face it, the truth about yourself can be downright scary. It takes courage, and it’s a level of courage that most people don’t really expect of us because our society accepts less than honest behavior.

Most people shape their lives around avoiding painful realities. The alcoholic won’t admit he has a problem. The introvert avoids meeting girls because he fools himself into thinking he prefers video games. The overweight client deludes herself into thinking she doesn’t care about her health and body image.

As typical humans, it’s painful to admit when we’ve gone against our morals or values. We don’t want people to know the truth, and would rather present a perfect image of ourselves as infallible.

But who actually gets the most respect, and who creates the deepest relationships? It’s those who stick up for themselves and say “This is what I did. This is why I did it. I know that it was wrong but I want to come clean and this is the lesson I’ve learned.” They’re far more healthy and successful than those who flat out lie, and lie, and lie, and lie again.

No lie goes without repercussions, even if they’re only internal psychological repercussions. So ask yourself: is it worth it? Is it worth the immediate gratification knowing that what you did will eventually be revealed in the long run, knowing you hurt the person you lied to, and not knowing how many other people it could hurt along the way.

Lies are like the snowball effect: they start small, but you’ll have to tell another lie to cover up the first lie, then another to cover up that, and so on and so forth.

If lying has been your only way through life so far, it won’t be easy. Start with honesty today.

Dont tell one single lie, and if you do, correct yourself immediately. You may not even be aware of how many times you fib throughout the day because it’s such second nature.

Start today, and you won’t regret tomorrow. Every day you’ll feel lighter, and shed a little bit more weight off your shoulders. And you’ll find that the key to a healthy relationship is brutal honesty, no matter what.

On that note, I have to be honest about something. I’m actually not a health and fitness coach. I just thought it would be a way to establish my credibility and prove my point. Now that I’ve come clean about it, I feel a lot better about this article. I’m glad that one’s off my chest, and I hope you can learn from my example.