There's an art to having a great night out when you're doing bottle service. If you aren't a bottle service regular, you're stepping into a world with tons of unwritten rules and norms that you need to follow in order to look like a socially competent guy.

Successful men and attractive women understand this stuff subconsciously and will determine if you're one of the "cool kids" by whether or not you know how to conduct yourself at a table.

Until now, these rules have been kept secret.

Let's get started!

1. Males split the bill. If the bill is $800 then 10 guys pay $80 each. Women never pay, ever.

2. Pay your share. No excuses, no nothing. "I got there late." "I bought some drinks at the bar." "I came with a girl." "I told you I'm broke." "I brought all the girls." Everyone wants to skip out on their share. Just be a man and pay your damn share of the table. Be a man, pay your fucking way.

3. Don't cheap out on the table and pay $1,500 for the shitty table when a better table is $2,000. You'll end up spending more than the minimum anyway, but ending up with worse real estate.

4. Tell the people you are rolling with ahead of time what they are expected to pay. It's uncomfortable to talk about money sometimes, especially if your friends are annoying broke losers. But if you don't, you'll end up getting burned for it when they say "I can't really afford that right now" when the check comes. For example of how to handle this, here is an email I sent regarding a friend's B-day:

   • Hey Ariel, We can add you to the table list if you're willing to throw down for the table/bottle: approx $150 ($200 at the most) Or you can show up before 10:30 and try to get in for free because we can add you to her list. I just can't guarantee what the bouncers do at the door. Sometimes they will let a bunch of dudes roll in if they're on the list and other times they will be dicks about it. I'd go the guaranteed route if you don't want to jeopardize your night.

5. Your guests are your financial responsibility. If someone has a table and you invite a friend who decides after the fact that he doesn't want to pay, you are responsible for his share. You are responsible for the people you bring, so don't bring liabilities.

6. Throw a party, entertain people and pour drinks for girls. Unless you have a target you're locked in with, don't pow-wow one-on-one.

7. Fill your table with stray girls. When girls walk past your table, reach your hand out in a non-creepy way and pull them to table. It's that easy.

8. Every table must have a bottle captain: someone who protects them from dumb girls knocking them over or pouring crazy amounts. Don't let girls touch the bottle.

9. Don't walk around with a bottle. You will look stupid.

10. Don't order stupid narrow shit like bourbon. 21-25 year old girls (the majority of girls at a club) don't drink bourbon. Grey Goose is a good one-size-fits-all option.

11. Stand up. Don't be the dumb idiot sitting down because it forces girls to leave. Send girls inwards so they can sit. The only time I'll sit at the table or booth is if I've got my feet on the seat and I'm sitting on the top of the back. This way I'm at eye level with people and easy to talk to.

12. Don't ram and jam girls into long conversations. It’s loud and you won’t be able to hear much anyway. Keep all convos light, playful and brief. Just drink and fuck around.

13. Get every Instagram (or contact details if you don't use IG, weirdo...) of every girl you meet from minute one, using something like "Hey, in case we lose each other, gimme your Instagram." The club can get loud, people get drunk, and it becomes a shitshow so get IG's early on then move along and talk with people.

14. Do not target your entire $2,000 night on ONE girl from early on. Tables are for building squads. Get 15 numbers, convert 3. Voila- for $300 and one night you have a squad of 3.

15. Don't roll with people who get "too drunk."

16. Don't roll with fucking dorks.

17. Don't bring a date to a bottle service night out: unless you are really into her and you believe this is the only way to close the deal. But even if this is the case you still shouldn’t.

18. If you don't have a positive ratio of girls to guys: the first thing you should do when you get your table is go out and recruit chicks. All but one or two guys should go on recruiting missions and bring girls back. The guys who don't go should keep the girls at the table engaged. If you can't bring back girls who are paying for their own drinks at the bar it's a sign your game is weak.

19. In almost every single bottle service situation, physical interaction is the name of the game. The music will be blasting and having conversations isn't super comfortable. You have a lot more leeway and freedom to touch girls in a more aggressive manner than usual. The second I meet a girl I'll be touching her on the arm and shoulder to see if she touches me and gives love back. I will hold her hand while leading her back to my table and once there, I'll have my hand on her waist or hip. If she is willing to square off and face her hips directly at me, she is down to make-out. Don't wait. You can go for a quick kiss very early in these situations, but the more her friends sees you ferociously making out with her, the more likely they will cock-block you later and the higher chance for buyer's remorse. Get her chasing you by being the one to always pull away first. These are some of my favorite lines for scooping girls to table. Always be as playful and ridiculous as possible, as long as you're congruent with it.

    • Hey... so me and my buddies drew straws and I lost which makes me the designated guy who's job is to recruit girls back to our table for the night. You have two options, either come have a drink with us or feel incredibly guilty when I get fired :)

    • Hey guys, I have an amazing pickup line to convince you to come have a drink with me at our table, this shit is hilarious you are gonna die, are you ready........... fuck, I completely forgot, you would have loved it though I SWEAR. Ok drink time, let's go (grab one of their hands and walk them back)

    • Hey you guys are coming to my table for a drink, let's go.

    • Hey not to be that guy who lures poor innocent girls to his table with the promise of alcohol and fun, but, yeah I'm gonna be that guy. Don't worry, I'm only 95% creepy.

20. If you're the life of the party, on the tall side, or you're grabbing girls walking by your table and super alpha, then no lines are necessary. If you're at a table in the back of the club and you're 50 feet away trying to scoop girls at the bar and get them to make the journey back, you'll have way the most success with a quick attraction-building line, 30 seconds of banter and then dragging them over.

21. Take care of afterparty logistics beforehand. Every dude you are rolling with should know what the after party plan is and be responsible for getting every girl at your table back to it. Leave just before the club closes or before the energy starts to die. If you wait you'll lose momentum and most of the girls. If the lights have already turned on, it means you wait too long, so please don't stand around at the table until the bouncers kick you out. Grab your girls, throw them in a cab and get the fuck out of there. Hopefully you've called an Uber SUV and it's already waiting for you outside. Out front of any club is drunk fuckstick central. Thirsty dudes will show up and try to steal your girls. It's cock-block central. You need to lead your flock of sheep through the brigade of wolves as fast as possible.

22. The more people you know or pretend to know the better. And in clubs it's so easy to pretend you know people. "Hey bro how you been?!" If they look at you stupid, just be like... "You're giving me that look that you don't recognize me, sorry maybe I got the wrong guy, I'm always a little too fucked up here to remembers straight, I'm (insert name)"

23. If you have girls with you then any guy will pretend he knows you even if he doesn't. You can pull girls from dance floor and pretend you brought them. As long as you have some cute girls with you everyone loves you.

24. Being one of the rare men who understands how to leverage bottle service is one of the fastest ways to build status and expand your social circle.

Next Article: 8 Tips For Bottle Service - From A Bottle Service Cocktail Girl