If you've ever approached a random woman while going about your day, or studied up on strategies on how to go about this the most effectively, then you've most likely asked yourself the question: "Should I be direct and tell her that I like her, or should I play it cool?" There is an ongoing debate about the benefit of directly stating your intent vs. indirectly striking up a conversation and letting that intent be demonstrated naturally. In this article, I'll take a stab and explaining the rational and reasoning behind both approaches. I think at the most fundamental level, every … [Read more...]
7 Steps On How To Be A Man That Women Fall For
7 Steps on How to Be A Man That Women Fall For We all want to be a man that women fall for. Whether you’re trying to get a girlfriend, or just trying to play the field for a while, you need to become a man first. As the old saying goes, women don’t want a boy… they want a man. Unfortunately, however, our society isn’t doing a great job of teaching boys how to be men. …that’s where we come in. Here at Inner Confidence, in conjunction with Robbie Kramer, we’ve come up with 7 surefire steps to help you learn how to become a man. Step 1. Find Your Bigger … [Read more...]
Why is this girl being flaky?
You meet a girl and things start out well, but she starts getting distant or flaky. It’s a situation we’ve all been in. Steve, a Leverage Program member, posted a great question in our private members area about this very situation. Here's his question: A girl I'm enthusiastic is being flaky about our third date. Our conversation has always been smooth and to me it seems like we share mutual chemistry. We met on Tinder and got drinks on our first date. Our second date was a cooking date at my place. We made out, cuddled in our underwear, and I cooked her breakfast the next morning. We … [Read more...]
The truth about confidence and rejection
If you don't feel confident in your dating life, it says nothing about your character. It's just an indication that you need more practice so you can stack more wins. There's a lot of nonsense out there on what confidence is, or what it takes to develop confidence. Confidence is the thoughts and feelings that result from a series of wins stacked together. It's your expectation of how you'll perform in a given situation, and it's different from self-esteem, which is your overall evaluation of yourself. I was reviewing Mate by Tucker Max yesterday and found a brilliant definition of … [Read more...]
Stop caring what other people think…or don’t?
Think of all the things you could accomplish if you didn't care what other people think. In an ideal world, you could flip a switch in your brain to do this, start taking bigger risks, and reap the rewards. That's why on the surface, "stop caring what other people think" is a great piece of advice. But as is usually the case, reality is more complicated than a piece of rah-rah self-help oversimplification. So what's my problem with this idea? The problem is that caring what others think is ingrained in human nature. We evolved in tribes with less than 150 people. If you were … [Read more...]
The 6 Biggest Mistakes To Avoid
In my early 20s I sucked with women. I was fat. I wasn't making any money. I didn't know how to dress. No wonder I couldn't get dates. I wanted to change everything at once. I didn't know what to do. Things are different now. I date hot women. I choose what kind of relationships I want. I'm in shape. All of the problems of the typical American dude are solved in my life. I never have to settle. I don't feel guilty bragging about my lifestyle because I hustled my ass off to get here. So how did I get here? I got here because I failed. A lot. I've made the same mistakes … [Read more...]
The good news about your dating life
When I was a kid I spent 10 years doing nothing but practicing golf. I was a +2 handicap at one point (2 strokes better than scratch) and an All-American in college. I just thought I was just lucky to find a good coach because I worked with John Anselmo, who taught Tiger Woods from age 12-17. I also thought I was blessed with a natural swing thanks to my ice hockey skillz. After I discovered The Game in 2006, I figured getting good with women and making crazy money would come easy too. I didn't realize that I got better at golf by doing NOTHING but practicing and playing EVERY DAY for 10 … [Read more...]
What does it take to be a man?
There's a lot out there in self-help media for men and popular culture about what it takes to be a man. I have a simple definition for this that I recently heard from an interview with Tucker Max, and I agree 100%. Reach between your legs. What do you feel? If you have a dick, you're a man. It's that simple. If anyone gives you a definition that's more complicated, see if you can identify what their hidden agenda might be. It's most commonly an attempt to do one of two things: 1. Justify their own insecurities Self-acceptance is a rare trait because it takes consistent hard work … [Read more...]
Dealing with discomfort
What I'm about to say is sad, but not very controversial: most people would experience mild discontent with their situation than face the discomfort that’s necessary for improving their lives. People just don't want to tolerate discomfort, even if they have a guarantee it’s temporary. Getting into shape is a prime example. Unhealthy people tend to know that getting into shape requires eating healthy, and physical exercise. The failure to act isn’t caused by a lack of information. It stems from an unwillingness to feel uncomfortable. Eating healthy is uncomfortable. Working out causes … [Read more...]
Which is more important: looks or confidence?
I'm 5'8 and almost obese. I've never received attention from women the past year despite becoming more social. 3 years ago, when I was almost 40 pounds slimmer, I took a summer class and I noticed the prettiest girl in class hitting on me. However I was too aloof to notice that she was interested. Why do people keep saying that attracting women relies on confidence when my experience proves otherwise? When people say that being attractive to women relies on confidence, they’re correct. But being attractive isn’t solely about confidence. A healthy sense of confidence isn’t enough to overcome … [Read more...]
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