When you look at guys who are great with women, or anyone with peak social awareness, they perform a bunch of smaller actions that add up to an arsenal of social skills. These discrete skills combine to form a killer ability to communicate with others and assertively get what they want. When we’re teaching you to improve your dating life, we focus on a lot. Accumulating as much practice as you can and playing the “numbers game” is part of it. Developing your character is also part of it, and it can seem overwhelming to go from where you are now to the success you really dream of. While … [Read more...]
The 8 Ways to Click With Women
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member and resident lazy fuck I've been working on my connection skills, and the group recommended I check out a book called Click: The Forces Behind How We Fully Engage with People, Work, and Everything We Do. The book is basically a collection of tons of examples and studies going over each aspect that creates instant connections, or what they call "quick set intimacy": That magic moment when you feel like you're in the zone while talking to another person, like you're 10/10 on 3 pointers. Except the baskets are people. Or something. So here are the … [Read more...]
5 of the Most Effective Tips for Improving Your Vocal Tonality
Some guys are born with a naturally powerful voice that turns women on. Most guys aren't as fortunate. Some guys have naturally picked up good habits from their peers, friends, and families. Most guys don't put in this kind of effort, but they should. Even professionals like sportscasters have spent hundreds of hours working on their own and with coaches to sound more confident. 1. Open your mouth wider Do you mumble? Open your mouth wider. Do you speak too quickly? Open your mouth wider. Do you speak too softly? Open your mouth wider. This could go on and on, and there's a good … [Read more...]
Develop Your Inner Confidence Interview on Pickup Change
I was recently interviewed by pickupchange.com We talked about how to build your confidence and make your approach to girls more natural and effective. Here’s what we covered in the podcast: The easiest way to meet girls How to develop your inner confidence How to overcome approach anxiety What is the average success ratio in daygame How to enjoy the process and stop being focused only on the outcome Do looks and wealth really matter? How to spot a girl who is actively looking for … [Read more...]
Do you agree too much?
A common mistake that guys who don't have well-developed social skills make is that they are too agreeable. They don't want to tell girls no. They don't want to make polarizing statements. They'd rather go with the flow than rock the boat. They avoid controversy. At first glance, this seems like it's a good idea. If you aren't a social genius or a beast with women, why take a risk that has a chance of hurting a relationship or creating tension? Here's the problem: when you're in the middle, you're vanilla. You need to be polarizing to be attractive to people. You need to filter some … [Read more...]
Why is approaching so important for building confidence?
You've heard me say it over and over, but if you expect to get results and you're not crushing approaches or already dating multiple women, it's just not gonna happen. If you wanna get good at basketball you've gotta take a ton of shots right? You can't expect to show up at the court, stand around with the ball and expect to improve can you? Well, that's what many of you guys are doing, and then whining that you suck and the program isn't working. That line of thinking is actually offensive to guys who have put in the work. Robbie crushed 10k approaches by the time he was in his late … [Read more...]
Reader question: How do I escape the friend zone?
A reader asks: I'm planning out a date with an old casual friend from my hometown, where I've been staying for a few months. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and looking forward to dating again. Background: I've somewhat had a crush on her. I always had an older brother-sister frame with her. I want to use this harmless coffee to take a step beyond the friendship dynamic. I know I need to do this very smoothly so there is no weirdness and end up creeping her out. What's the best way to do this? You are going about this with the wrong frame of mind. She knows you are both out of … [Read more...]
How do I connect with girls on their level?
A common challenge for guys during the process of developing their conversation skills is that they struggle to connect with girls intellectually. But most of the time, this isn't a challenge they realize they're facing, because it expresses itself in other ways. The most common way it shows up is when guys ask "How do I turn my brain off and talk to girls on their level?" or "How do I connect with girls at parties?" This is something I've always had a natural inclination for. I didn't even realize it was a useful skill until I heard a bunch of other guys lamenting about the challenges of … [Read more...]
Why are you turning women off?
A recent study done at the University of Florida looked into the biggest turnoffs in potential romantic partners. The researchers found that deal breakers had a bigger effect on the formation of a romantic or sexual relationship than deal makers. In other words, the most important thing for attraction isn't to be really attractive, it's to not be unattractive. This is why in the Leverage Program we focus on the fundamentals first. Do you know how to dress? Are you in shape? Do you have poor vocal tonality? Fixing this type of problem will get you more gains than working on being … [Read more...]
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