You meet a girl and things start out well, but she starts getting distant or flaky. It’s a situation we’ve all been in. Steve, a community member, posted a great question in our private members area about this very situation. Here's his question:

A girl I'm enthusiastic is being flaky about our third date. Our conversation has always been smooth and to me it seems like we share mutual chemistry.We met on Tinder and got drinks on our first date. Our second date was a cooking date at my place. We made out, cuddled in our underwear, and I cooked her breakfast the next morning.We had plans to hang out, but she canceled because she said she has "so much to do" because her mom will be visiting. It feels like a BS excuse. If she wanted to see me I can't imagine preparation taking that long. She also invited me to her birthday party, but then rescinded the invite and said it's "too soon to introduce me to her friends."I like this girl a lot and thought we had a good connection. However, her flaking makes me feel shitty. Am I making too much of it? Am I being too pushy? What's my optimal next play?

The Analysis

Possibility 1: She’s Not Into Him

From the way him described the situation, it sounds like he’s in chase mode. Connecting with and liking a girl that doesn't pan out sucks. Do not let the above affect you emotionally. It never ends well with this kind of girl.

Possibility 2: She’s Too Rigid

Run from this kind of girl. When you jive with someone, you hang out with them. Introducing a guy to her friends is only a big deal in the movies.

Possibility 3: Another Dude in the Picture

My instinct is that there's another dude in the picture. Any hot woman will have other guys chasing her. Believing she’s getting chased is good for you. It gives you an abundance mentality.

The Lesson

Long story short: look for mutual presence and transparency. If it feels like work, it's probably not heading anywhere good.