Inner Game Archives - Page 3 of 6

Who You Are Is What You Get

It’s simple: develop traits that women find attractive, learn how to show those traits in a socially intelligent way, and build a social lifestyle. That’s how you attract women into your life. It’s how authenticity becomes one of the most attractive traits you can develop.

It’s not about learning tactics and techniques to seduce women. It’s about learning to become someone that women want to meet.

The emotional patterns in your life will dictate the kinds of women you attract. The behaviors you practice regularly will define the kinds of women you meet.

For example, take Steven, a 21 year old college guy who’s been working on his dating life. Now that he understands how to signal attractive behaviors, he’s no longer suffering from the “nice guy syndrome,” and he doesn’t sacrifice his own needs and desires in order to get along with others. But let’s say that underneath his improved social skills, he still has an anxious attachment style (http://www.attachedthebook.com/qa/). He’ll be great at attracting women, but once he starts to develop a relationship, he’ll become way too needy and scare her away.

On some level, the “bad boy” archetype is a result of guys who fear commitment, or on an emotional level, they’re avoidant of longer term romantic bonds. These emotional patterns will shape the kind of women they pursue on an unconscious level. Let’s take another example: Alex is a 31 year old professional who lives in a big city. He’s great with women, and they’re attracted to his elusiveness. If we’re stereotyping, his fear of attachment will attract him to more shallow, superficial women.

Your beliefs and views on what normal relationships look like will affect what you get. If you don’t think something is possible you won’t get it, because you need that underlying emotional belief to be able to pursue specific goals. If you’re deeply convinced that having threesomes with models is normal, you can have that experience. If you believe that all interaction between men and women is a battle of the sexes where someone wins and someone loses, you’ll get adversarial relationships that aren’t very fulfilling.

Your emotional patterns tend to result from your current stage of development in life. Guys who’ve had more life experience and overcome more challenges tend to be more emotionally mature. The difficult emotional challenges we face can turn into learning experiences, or can negatively shape our relationships for decades. The choice is yours.

Reflect on your emotional habits, and how your beliefs about relationships affect the women that end up in your life. What patterns are you creating, and are you getting what you want?

When You’re Objective, You Take More Risks

by Tyler W 2 Comments

One of the most effective actions you can take to improve your life is developing your ability to think objectively.

Most people think emotionally. Yes, this includes men, who often assume they are rational and impervious to the effects of emotions on their thinking. Men tend to have blind spots in this area just as much as women.

People usually look at their situation, whatever it may be, come up with one possible outcome, and only focus on that outcome happening. Emotions drive the estimate of the outcome occurring.

This human tendency is the reason why the mainstream news media focuses on catchy soundbites rather than objective statistics. Our brains just aren’t wired to naturally think in terms of statistics, and instead we latch on to the stories that are the most memorable.

Case in point: take all the recent media coverage of terrorist attacks, and their appeal to everyone’s innate fear of terrorism. Despite the fact that the odds of dying in a terrorist attack are 1 in 20 MILLION, it’s a natural human tendency to be TERRIBLE at estimating the real risk of low-probability events.

Ok, so what if I’m more scared of terrorism than I should be? Not a big deal right? Well, take a look at how this type of thinking carries over to other areas of your life. Most people don’t think probabilistically in any areas of their life. They look at the world through the lenses of their emotions, never challenging their deeply held beliefs about how the world functions. People overestimate their ability to predict the future, especially about the events in their own life.

This can screw you over in countless ways. In the Leverage Program, we coach guys to stop overestimating the risks associated with actions that can improve their lives, like approaching more girls, quitting a job to become an entrepreneur, or developing a more assertive communication skills. And we also teach people how they tend to underestimate some of the more dangerous risks that people overlook, like texting while driving and eating processed carbohydrates.

Remember how I said people make most of their decisions emotionally? That’s the reason it’s important to be objective about your emotional states.

So a guy who is afraid to approach girls focuses only on the outcome of it going badly, without estimating the likelihood that he will actually get rejected.

Most guys who are bad with women start out from a place of neediness. He needs attention from a woman. He needs to not be rejected. He needs to KNOW an approach will go well before he commits to it.

These are gut-level emotional reactions, and they’re difficult to overcome. But having that kind of emotional response doesn’t have to harm you. As long as you recognize that it’s just a thought and that it’s not actually helping you, you can begin to realize that your subjective emotional experiences are not always indicative of reality.

The more you put yourself in these challenging situations and come out the other side unscathed, the more that snap emotional reaction will lessen. But in the meantime, it’s crucial to remember that this inner dialogue is not helping you, and that if you fuse with those thoughts, they’re only going to prevent you from reaching your goals and improving your relationships.

Thinking probabilistically removes the reckless emotion from your decision-making habits. When you know that you went into a decision making the right call based on all the information you had available at the time, there’s no rational way to second guess yourself afterwards. You don’t regret things you’ve done that went wrong if you came to that decision probabilistically. But you do regret them when you let your emotions decide for you.

This also improves your life by getting you more of the things you want and value. Thinking probabilistically helps you take the right kinds of risk: the ones that have a huge upside of improving your life. Let’s face it, a lot of the things we want are risky. Become more assertive and confident. Making valuable male friendships. Building your career. Telling women how you really feel without being needy.

Socially agile people can be cooperative in difficult situations, use anger effectively when someone blocks them from reaching a goal, or boldly state unpopular opinions in group settings. These are all risk moves.

Do this: Take more risks. Play to win. Be objective. Remember that your thoughts are just thoughts.

Only Losers Need Plans

by Tyler W 3 Comments

Through the years of developing the Inner Confidence curriculum, we’ve compiled a subconscious list of things that winners do and losers do. There are 10,000 subtle behaviors that add up to someone’s overall success or failure: word choice, behavior, social ecosystem, etc.

We hear the words “winners” and “losers” and don’t pay much attention to them because they sound like generic, silly words. I really like them and think they don’t get enough credit. Most decisions we make, even things we do that we don’t realize are decisions, lead towards a win or a loss. Losers frequently make decisions that head down the loss path, and winners frequently make decisions that head down the win path.

Make an effort to view the world through the lenses of your mentors. Pay attention to what the winners do, and drop your loser habits.

I have a client who told me “I need a game plan,” or something to that effect. 100% of my unsuccessful friends say things like that. I think (but can’t prove) that saying “I need a plan” is an excuse to not do anything. You get to feel okay about your lack of taking action and getting nothing done, because boy oh boy once you have that magical plan you’re gonna tear it up big time!

Cool story bro. Go hit on every girl you see and read everything that’s been suggested; there’s your PLAN. The rest will come later. Fred DeLuca, the founder of Subway, wrote Ready, Fire, Aim, and this perfectly describes both the way Silicon Valley works now, and the way you should be operating in your own life. If you walk into a VC’s office, an angel investor, or you want to bring a partner on board and you ramble about your “plans,” you are going to get laughed at. Everyone understands: just get SOMETHING out, see what people say and do, then start making changes and improvements.

More importantly to the “I need a plan” claim. ZERO POINT ZERO of my successful friends say this, EVER. Winners don’t do this.

If anyone here feels like they’d do better in life with a plan, fine here if you remoter fucking plan- hit on 20 girls per week next 10 weeks. Watch every single “This Week In Startups” with Jason Calacanis, get a 6 pack. Spend 10 hours a week learning about fashion. This PLAN alone will greatly impact your professional/financial life, social life, love life, etc.

Because it doesn’t matter what the plan is, it matters that you act on it.

There is a great saying, “If you want to accomplish something, set a goal and give yourself not enough time.” Deadlines force teams to BANG hard and crank work, it kills distractions, and it makes for productive ecosystems.

If you believe in “The Secret” you are a loser. Evidence: look around you, can you name ONE person that you can verify 100% is not broke or unhappy that believes in The Secret? Now look around yourself and do you know anyone broke that believes in The Secret? Hopeless, unfulfilled, uneducated people who need magical answers because they can’t figure things out themselves turn to all this new age nonsense.

Today, self-help books relentlessly discuss the importance of having a complete plan before you get started, which unfortunately has stretched positive thinking to the point of delusion, as in the nonsense that is The Secret. If you go back a century ago, self-help books emphasized the value of hard work, persistence, and virtue. Sure, self-help books today sell in record numbers, but self-help ideas from a hundred years ago were more accurate about human behavior, and focused on EXECUTION over a plan.

Part of why self-help books sell so well today is that they convince people that they lack something like confidence and if they just had it, then they could finally start going after their goals. So people keep buying more and more books, waiting to feel that perfect plan set up before they actually take action. They don’t realize that if they feel uncomfortable, they’re doing something right!

No one cares what’s holding you back, and they don’t care about your excuses and rationalizations. And there’s no replacement for hard work and discomfort. The secret to success in life isn’t really a secret: pick something and work really hard at it, don’t complain, and ask questions from people who are better than you. At the end of the day, your execution is all that matters.

Snappy One Liners

by Robbie Leave a Comment

1) Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2) The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

3) I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.

6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

8) I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

9) I’m already visualizing the masking tape over your mouth.

10) Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12) It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

14) No, my powers can only be used for good.

15) How about never? Is never good for you?

16) I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

17) You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.

18) I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

19) I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

20) I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

21) Who me? I just wander from room to room.

22) My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!

23) It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

26) I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

27) Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

28) I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

29) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”

30) My reality check bounced.

31) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Success Is Closer Than You Think

by Tyler W 2 Comments

Ever hear the saying don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good? Nowhere is this more true than when you’re learning how to be better with women. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be good enough.

A lot of the advice out there is aiming at perfection. And this is counterproductive for improving your skills and improving your life.

Because here’s the thing: guys today have set the bar very low. Ask any woman about her frustrations with dating, and she’ll tell you that most guys are terrible:

They don’t have the empathy to be able to picture what a woman actually wants in a guy. Painful.
They follow terrible societal stereotypes that they think will make them successful, like trying to get rich while neglecting their social skills. Ugh.
Or they try to buy a woman’s affection through gifts and spending money, rather than developing a dynamic personality that women are naturally attracted to. Barf.

Real success is about becoming attractive to women, not learning how to attract women. Being dynamic makes up for flaws in each category. Because all the terrible guys out there have set the bar so low, it means you don’t have to be the best in every category. You just have to be better than most guys in a few different areas. Let’s take a look at some of the traits women are attracted to.

Let’s look at some examples. A big one is your looks. Men are lucky because we have more control over our looks than women do. Women notice grooming, which is easy to get right. Women care about physique, which is something you can develop by working out, and they tend to notice guys who are lean more than guys who are jacked, which is actually an easier physique to build.

Same thing with your style and fashion. You don’t have to read fashion magazines or stay on top of the latest trends. You just have to wear clothes that fit you because most guys are so bad that they were baggy clothes. It’s VERY EASY to be in the top 25% of well dressed guys. And being in the top 25% is just as good as being in the top 1%.

What else? Conversation skills. It’s okay to make some comments here and there that fall flat, as long as you know how to call it out. If you say something and get a bad reaction, being able to say “Uh oh, you’re giving me a look like you want me to go die in a hole” will make up for the initial misstep. You don’t have to have the conversation skills of a politician or the storytelling skills to do well; you just have to be good enough, which is slightly above average.

Need more proof that being perfect is a bad goal? Social status is a huge one. You don’t need to be at the top of the food chain in society, you just need to be a leader for whatever tribe (social group) you’re a part of. If you can act decisively, influence others, and be effective at what you’ve chosen to do, that’s enough. You don’t need to be a celebrity or an ultra-successful businessman to display the social status characteristics that women find attractive.

When you focus on taking action to improve every area of your life, you don’t have to be in the top 1% of each trait, because you develop a dynamic character that most men never even realize is important. That’s what Inner Confidence is.

Are You Overlooking This Crucial Dating Principle?

by Tyler W Leave a Comment

uncertainty

Being attractive to women requires the willingness to tolerate ambiguity.

Because you can never control every factor in a situation and you can’t read anyone’s mind, social situations in general are ambiguous. Nowhere is this more true than with dating.

At a bar, a girl could make eye contact with you because she’s interested, or because something in your direction caught her eye. She could be laughing because she genuinely thinks you’re funny, or because she feels bad for you. She could have ignored your attempt to set up a date because she is busy with work, or because she wants you to fall off a ladder and die.

With so many factors up in the air, there are a lot of ways you could be wrong, and misread the situation. So what should you do to deal with this?

Nothing. It doesn’t matter.

If a girl makes eye contact, it doesn’t really matter why, because you can capitalize off that moment of connection. If she’s laughing, on some level her brain is telling her that she’s interested in your company, even if it’s a pity laugh.

If she ignores your texts or stops responding to you, again, it doesn’t really matter why. For whatever reason in her life, she moved on. It doesn’t matter if the reason was valid; attempting to identify the reason is a waste of your time because you’ll never find that certainty and you’ll never know for sure.

There will ALWAYS be a ton of uncertainty in the dating process. That’s what makes it such an emotional rollercoaster for women, and yes, for men too.

It helps to know where we stand in the eyes of someone we’re attracted to, but here’s the thing: most actions you can take to reduce that uncertainty just make the situation worse. There are countless examples, but here are some common ones:

Asking a girl to “not play games” and let you know whether she does or doesn’t like you is a move designed to reduce uncertainty. It may feel direct, ballsy, or confident, but unfortunately it has the opposite effect: it puts her on the spot and makes her uncomfortable.
Asking a girl if she thinks you’re funny. Sure this may give you more certainty and insight into the situation, but it kills your chances of looking attractive.
Asking a girl if she thinks you’re good looking may give you an honest response, but it makes you look unconfident.
Asking a girl if she had a good time on a date is a bad move because confident guys just assume that she did.
Asking a girl if you can kiss her may tell you if her conscious mind thinks she wants to be kissed, but this is something confident guys NEVER do. They just go for it and are prepared for whatever happens because they’ve dealt with it before.

See the theme here? Asking a girl for permission to be yourself is something you must avoid.

So what can you do instead? Allow that uncertainty and ambiguity to be there. Accept that not knowing is part of success. Instead of fighting to reduce it, recognize that it’s part of the process.

Yes, leaning into ambiguity and uncertainty is uncomfortable. It sucks. But there is no real alternative, because in the dating world, complete certainty is just an illusion.

Being confident means that you expect things to go well in situations that are ambiguous. Being willing to feel vulnerable in the face of ambiguity and rejection is what separates the guys who improve with women from the ones who stay stuck forever.

How to Get Over the Pain of Rejection

by Robbie Leave a Comment

Every man in the world has experienced being rejected by a woman (or if he hasn’t, he’s too scared to talk to a woman in the first place). I’ve felt it. My buddies have felt it. I know you’ve felt it otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article.

There’s no doubt about it, getting a “no” totally sucks. It hurts. You might start thinking, “God, I suck. I’m horrible with women…” and that makes things even worse.

Fortunately, there’s a solution and you don’t have to live with the pain of rejection forever.

Making the Transition

All my clients come to me because they’re sick of being rejected. They want to get some wins under their belt. The great thing is, when you put yourself out there and actually do the work of bettering yourself, you can get to a point where getting rejected doesn’t totally knock you out.

You can get so good at handling people that, even if someone says “no” or blows you off, your attitude is, “Whatever. Next!” instead of, “I suck, my life is horrible.”

Having game is about attitude, skillset and yeah, inner confidence.

No one can tell you when you will feel pain and when you won’t. I couldn’t say, “You’ll stop feeling pain when you bang five supermodels.” Maybe you’ll still feel pain at that point, maybe not.

The pain is coming from within you, so something inside of you needs to shift. The outside results can certainly help speed the process, but ultimately, you’ve got to be able to recognize when you feel pain and let yourself move through it.

The Pain Always Shows

It’s not necessarily a bad thing to experience pain in this area, but it does show. My coaches can always tell when a guy is feeling pain versus when he’s feeling confident and calm; it is revealed in the way he carries himself. The way he moves, the way he operates in social situations.

Working through the pain is important if you truly want to experience success with women. Why? Because people want to hang out with other people that make them feel good. People who are in pain all the time, even when things are fine and we’re just chillin at the bar, basically suck to hang out with.

Get Over the Pain by Taking Action

To this day, I still sometimes feel pain if a girl flakes on me or if I have a bad run. It’s not anything like it used to be – there are no thoughts running through my head like, “God, I’m such a loser.” But it will suck, and it stings.

The solution is to take action. I’ll feel the pain for a minute, and then I’ll become even more determined to stack up some wins to feel great again. That means texting girls, approaching them, asking them out, and having sex.

I know for sure that if I’m not getting the results I want, it all has to do with a lack of input. I’m not doing enough to get there – it’s not because my skills aren’t good enough, it’s because I’m not putting the time in.

When you feel pain, take a deep breath. Feel it for a moment but don’t dwell on it. Immediately pinpoint an action you can take that will get you closer to what you want, and finally, take a moment to laugh at the situation – the easiest way for me to tell the difference between someone who is feeling pain and someone who isn’t is whether or not they’re willing to laugh at themselves.

The Lesson: Pain is normal, but if you want to be wildly successful with women, you have to be willing to do the work.

The Keys To Fixing Your Body Language

by Tyler W 1 Comment

Body language is one of the most important ways you communicate. Women and successful men perceive what your body language shows about you in less than a second. Since it’s processed on the subconscious level, your body language will make or break the interaction before you ever open your mouth.

Unfortunately, guys who didn’t grow up with a masculine, athletic, macho, infrastructure in their lives never absorbed the confident body language that turns women on, so they’re at a disadvantage on the dating market. Being aware of your own unconfident body language is a crucial step, but it’s only the first step.

Fixing your body language is a challenge that you have to approach from multiple angles.

Focused Versus Holistic

There are two ways to go about improving your body language: focused and holistic. Everyone should be doing both. Focused improvement is when you take a microscope to your specific behaviors and work on improving each one. This could be evaluating the way you place your feet when you walk, how you position your shoulders, correcting your forward head tilt, etc.

Equally important is holistic improvement. The best examples I can come up with are learning martial arts, seeing a chiropractor, and mobility work like foam rolling. Yesterday I had a Muay Thai workout with a trainer then saw a massage therapist and a chiropractor. Both of these improved my posture and body language to the point where others noticed and commented on it. These methods are also helpful because they don’t require you to be as self-conscious about every little moment you make, which can be crippling if you’re out at a bar and overly focused on your posture instead of the people you’re interacting with.

Because the patterns we’ve experienced all our lives shape how we stand and move, it’s an area of your dating life that can benefit the most from live coaching. Someone who has experienced thousands of reps talking to women is better qualified to critique what you are doing wrong and tell you how to fix it. In the meantime, here are some exercises so you can get started on your own:

Observe the body language of confident men
This is a simple activity that can net you huge results. Go to a public place like a mall or a street with heavy foot traffic. For the first 10 minutes, give every guy a mental rating of his confidence on a scale of 1-10. Don’t overthink it; just go with your gut instinct.

For the next 10 minutes, pay attention to the confident guys and observe specific behaviors they’re exhibiting. How are their shoulders? How is their gate? Bringing a notebook or phone and writing down notes will help but isn’t necessary. By observing what confident guys do and how they behave, you’ll start to embody these traits yourself.

Shoulder dislocators
The most common body language problem that I’ve seen with guys is slumping the shoulders. This is especially problematic for guys who sit at a desk all day, and it occurs as a result of muscle imbalances. Fortunately, there’s an easy fix most people don’t know about. Get a PVC pipe and do this exercise daily for 2 minutes:

Slow down
Most guys who struggle with women move too quickly. They have jerky, fidgety movements that women subconsciously perceive as anxiety. It doesn’t even matter if you are feeling anxious or not: if you are moving too quickly or fidgeting, you will come across as unconfident. There are no exceptions to this rule. This is a very simple fix and just requires practice and conscious awareness of how fast you’re moving. One trick I’ve heard before is to imagine that you are underwater, and move at that speed and fluidity.

Chew gum
This may sound like a gimmick, but there have been actual scientific studies demonstrating that people chewing gum are perceived as more confident and laid back. Chewing gum helps you cut back on fidgeting: if you are chewing gum, other body movements are less likely to occur.

Kettlebell swings
Any weightlifting routine will help your body language, but if I had to pick just one exercise that provides the most benefit, it’s the kettlebell swing. It has the added benefit of strengthening your core and toning your glutes (the biggest things women care about), not to mention they’re just fun to do. See this video below for proper form:

Fake it till you make it
See this life-changing talk by Amy Cuddy below:

There’s no quick fix for body language. Anyone who does an hour of kickboxing every day, an hour of yoga, and weekly chiropractor visits would STILL take months to develop perfect body language. But it’s a simple process that you can drastically improve with as little as 10 minutes a day if you spend them on the right exercises.

The Quickest Way To Move Past Social Fear

by Tyler W Leave a Comment

When you’re feeling fear or anxiety, the most important action to take isn’t one that reduces anxiety. It’s the action that reduces your avoidance, and makes you face whatever it is you’re anxious about.

The next time you’re in a situation where you’re feeling a negative emotion, especially fear, takes these three steps. Over time, they will train the subconscious part of your brain to do it automatically, and they take less than a minute.

1. Think of the best possible outcome

This helps you determine what actions you need to take to reach that outcome. It helps you see what part of it is in your control, and what part might just come down to random chance.

Play to win. Being confident means that you expect things to go well in situations that are ambiguous. Visualize what the best possible scenario is, and do everything you need to do to make it a reality.

If you’re going after what you want in life, then forget everything else. That’s your right as a human. Forget what other people think. Forget the self-doubt in your head. The only thing that matters is that you’re taking the actions you care about. You don’t have to be anything else. You don’t have to please anyone. You don’t have to fit anyone else’s image of how they think you should be. Everything else is noise. Tune it out.

You have the right to do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of. You can approach girls, you can go to the gym and grunt, you can even wear a dress and sing on a bus if you want to. You don’t need approval to do anything. If someone judges you for doing the things you value in life, then forget them because you don’t need their approval.

2. Think of the worst possible outcome

Using a technique invented by Stoic philosophers, you should practice taking any situation to the logical extreme of the worst case scenario. This can be done either as a thought exercise or in writing. With any social fear, the worst case scenario is usually something you can handle. 99% of the time, your worst possible outcome results in a little bit of social discomfort, with the option to recover from it. It’s never life-threatening.

They laugh it off, they think you’re weird, whatever. You can handle it. They’re likely to forget it, but even if they don’t you can handle it. So if they think you’re weird, that’s something you can live with. I fail to see how this could end in catastrophe.

Here’s an example that comes up often in the Leverage Program: hitting on a girl in the day. What’s the absolute worst thing that can happen? The girl rejects you. It’s painful for a few seconds/minutes, but you laugh it off, she forgets you, and you both go back to your life as usual. Or other people see you and laugh, and you die. Oh wait, that won’t happen.

The absolute worst in any of these situations is a few minutes of social discomfort.

What if you get rejected by a girl then see her again in the future? You guessed it, a Leverage member has done that multiple times on the streets of Manhattan and it didn’t kill him. Maybe the police tell you to stop approaching girls, actually that’s happened multiple times to guys in the group at the Grove in LA, and they left and lived through it.

Even if you lost all your friends and became homeless, you could probably recover from it. And the worst possible outcome of approaching a girl is her not liking you, which is something any man can handle. Usually you’ll find that the worst possible outcome is something you could actually handle.

The anticipation of failure is always worse than actual failure.

3. Think of the most likely outcome

This helps you shape your behavior and decide how to move forward. Any situation in your life has multiple possible outcomes, with different chances of them happening. Instead of assuming that one of them will automatically happen, look at everything that’s possible and estimate the odds of each of them.

Have a plan for things going well and aim for that to happen. At the same time, know that if you don’t succeed, you can handle it. This is what true confidence is. Confidence is not a blind delusion that everything will go well; that’s just not how the world works. Confidence is knowing that you can to do what it takes to succeed, and when the inevitable setbacks occur, you can crush them and continue to move forward with the things you care about in life.

Review of the IC Introductory Workshop

by Robbie Leave a Comment

We recently had 5 new clients join our Leverage Program from the Phoenix area.

I always love when this happens because it creates a satellite community within our group and because the guys are local, it’s very easy for them to spend time together, wing each other, and push each other to grow faster.

And because all of these guys were at pretty similar levels when it came to meeting women, I decided to drive out to Phoenix for the weekend with a few of the moderators to get these guys started off on the right foot.

(Review of The Phoenix Workshop – By Jad Morris)

I’m at home..bored..alone..playing video games and watching Netflix..fantasizing about woman I wish I could be with.

Watch some porn at night and masturbating to the women of my dreams..my house is a fucking pigsty… I am eating like shit..fat..overweight and dressed like an idiot…zero confidence and hating my life with no genuine friends or social skills.

How many of you can relate to what I’m taking about? May be you’re in a similar situation?

Enter Robbie, Sasha, Maxwell, Tyler and Cameron. These alpha males saved my life from utter failure and hopeless chances of ever having solid inner confidence in what’s needed to be a fucking beast with woman.

I get to the workshop not having a clue what to expect. Instantly I wanted what these guys had. Charm, charisma, confidence and an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and most of all…the hottest women I’ve ever laid eyes on on a regular basis day after day with ease!!

They have me do Day game approaches..recording my interactions with woman with a microphone and video camera. These guys reviewed it and I got feedback. I failed miserably and everyone laughed about it including myself and underneath I was like what a fucking pathetic loser I am.

Then they showed me their first interactions and encounters with woman and they were just as bad and I thought to myself..ok if these guys can do it, so can I.

I learned about approaching woman in many different scenarios with the men.. What to say, my body posture, even the speed of which I talk. When I say it, how I say it..all of it matters.

Tyler and Cameron forced me to approach random woman in the mall. Was difficult..I was chasing women all over the place..they even made me run out of a car and approach a woman walking down the street!! Never in a million years would I have ever done that or even thought about doing something that bold in my life!! Best day ever.

I was forced to hit on woman in the day and at first I had tons of social anxiety. It got easier as it went. I then started pulling phone numbers and it was actually becoming fun.

I learned that social status, fashion, texting and even dating all have a unique and effective way to get woman in the sack. One wrong move..you’re toast! It became the ultimate challenge.

Night game the guys had me go to clubs in Scottsdale and approach woman as well..day one I sucked, was in my head and nervous..Robbie talked to me a lot and told me what to say to woman when I approached them. He was talking to woman with ease while I was standing around like a fucking idiot without a clue what to say or do. It was fun and challenging and I realized this guy had something I truly wanted..confidence, women and he actually gives a fuck about others and their well-being including me. Felt good to have someone give al fuck about me for the first time.

I then bought a drink..had a straw in my vodka redbull drink and Maxwell said get rid of the straw..I did and ironically that made a huge difference when I was approaching woman and I began to get phone numbers.

He had me be a lead with him as my wingman and introduce him to someone forcing me to be the social butterfly I wasn’t yet. Woman saw through it, weren’t interested in me and I lacked confidence was intimidated and left him hanging with a girl..he brutalized me and said never fucking do that again. I’m here to help you!! Woke me up and I didn’t do that and learned to never leave my wingman until they are ready.

Sasha I found talking to the hottest woman I saw in the club. He told me to approach two women at a bar..I learned there is a time when to do that, how to do that and what to say to introduce myself. I was again forced to approach and failed yet it got me out of my comfort zone and then it became easier and easier to approach the rest of the night.

Day two we went to a country bar that night and I crushed!! Got 12 numbers that night. I felt like a fucking predator looking for my next female victim to entice with my charm and get her number. Was a god that couldn’t be touched or phased by anything woman did or said. I ended up making out with one chick, had a blast, and was more alive then I ever have been. Was incredible.

Also I learned cooking is important to know. I was forced to cook a meal for the guys and I hated it and didn’t know how to cook yet I was forced to learn and did it. These guys force you to face your worst fears and smash them!!

If you ever get to meet these alpha males, they will ruthlessly, yet compassionately force you to face your inner demons and build confidence. They will teach you the ways to success and if you can pass through the gates of the creepy zone of hell, the other side is a life most men only dream of.

The AZ workshop was fucking bad ass!! If I wouldn’t of gone, I would still be doing what I was doing. Thank God there are guys that give a fuck and care about me. They changed EVERYTHING!!

Cheers,

Jad