In my mid 20s I sucked with women. I was fat. I wasn't making any money. I didn't know how to dress. I thought this shirt would get me laid!

No wonder I couldn't get dates.

The Transformation

I wanted to change everything at once but didn't know what to do. Things are different now. I date hot women, choose my relationships, and I'm in shape. I solved the typical guy problems. I never settle, and I earned this life. So how did I get here?

I failed. A lot. But I always got back up. I learned and stopped making mistakes. I was bad with women, so trust me, I've walked your path. If you're struggling, you're probably making the same mistakes. Here they are:

Mistake 1: You Love Comfort

Muscle strain is a must for bodybuilding. It's painful but needed. Why don't we get this in other life areas? We avoid discomfort. Consumer culture says, "Feel bad? Buy stuff." To improve, you have to leave your comfort zone. Embrace the suck. Your discomfort is your growth.

Mistake 2: Outcome Obsession

Top athletes have a growth mindset. They focus on "getting better," not "being good." If you focus on outcomes, you're hurting you’re learning. Change your mindset. Approach to get better. Count the asks, not the numbers. Love the process, not just the results.

Mistake 3: Relying on Motivation

Success comes from doing, not feeling motivated. It's about consistent action. So stop waiting for motivation. Show up. Do the work. Make it a habit. Consistency beats motivation.

Mistake 4: Bad Environment

Design an environment that helps you. Live where women are. Hang out with skilled guys. Go out often. Make success automatic. Control your environment and you'll control your destiny.

Mistake 5: Starting Too Big

You won't change overnight. Start small. Do one pushup. Floss one tooth. Approach one girl. Momentum is better than motivation. Small actions build big changes.

Mistake 6: No Accountability

You need someone to hold you to your goals. Set real stakes. Get friends involved. Be accountable and you'll be unstoppable.

Bringing it All Together

Success is a slow process. Society loves "overnight success" stories, but the truth is different. Accountability is key. Even if you mess up everything else, accountability forces you to succeed.

If you're ready for a change, get accountability. Get into a program. Get mentors. I did, and it changed my life. And it can change yours too. So what are you waiting for?

If you’re not ready, at least join the Inner Confidence Newsletter.