As you know, the best way to get the dating life you want is to optimize your strategy as much as you can based on your lifestyle and personality. But just because you're being efficient and optimal doesn't mean you shouldn't also be exhausting as many funnels as you can to meet chicks and other cool dudes. This was inspired by one of my students, Jeff. Jeff is in his mid 20s and he's a solid likable guy who's got his life together and is fun to be around. The problem is that he's not getting nearly the amount of dates a guy in his shoes should be getting. I have reason to believe that this … [Read more...]
Why is this girl being flaky?
You meet a girl and things start out well, but she starts getting distant or flaky. It’s a situation we’ve all been in. Steve, a Leverage Program member, posted a great question in our private members area about this very situation. Here's his question: A girl I'm enthusiastic is being flaky about our third date. Our conversation has always been smooth and to me it seems like we share mutual chemistry. We met on Tinder and got drinks on our first date. Our second date was a cooking date at my place. We made out, cuddled in our underwear, and I cooked her breakfast the next morning. We … [Read more...]
The truth about confidence and rejection
If you don't feel confident in your dating life, it says nothing about your character. It's just an indication that you need more practice so you can stack more wins. There's a lot of nonsense out there on what confidence is, or what it takes to develop confidence. Confidence is the thoughts and feelings that result from a series of wins stacked together. It's your expectation of how you'll perform in a given situation, and it's different from self-esteem, which is your overall evaluation of yourself. I was reviewing Mate by Tucker Max yesterday and found a brilliant definition of … [Read more...]
Stop caring what other people think…or don’t?
Think of all the things you could accomplish if you didn't care what other people think. In an ideal world, you could flip a switch in your brain to do this, start taking bigger risks, and reap the rewards. That's why on the surface, "stop caring what other people think" is a great piece of advice. But as is usually the case, reality is more complicated than a piece of rah-rah self-help oversimplification. So what's my problem with this idea? The problem is that caring what others think is ingrained in human nature. We evolved in tribes with less than 150 people. If you were … [Read more...]
All of my friends are losers. How can I find new ones?
How you do anything is how you do everything, and the people you choose to associate with reflects on your character. It's crucial to surround yourself with guys who are better than you if you want to become better with women. Women are attracted to social status more than anything else, and one of the most important ways to show (not tell) your status is by being a leader or providing value in a group of other attractive men. This is why I always talk about how improving your dating life is more than just knowing how to attract; it's about being a complete man who's attractive to … [Read more...]
How do I dress well without going broke?
Style can be a painfully annoying topic to grasp. Most guys neglect it altogether and look terrible as a result, sporting combinations like running shoes and jeans that are sure to turn off any woman. The ones who get it know that it's important, if for no other reason than because women pay attention to your clothes. Buying new clothes usually sucks too. We forget our sizes, we don’t know how things are supposed to fit, and we can never figure out what matches or looks good. When Inner Confidence's resident stylist mentions the concept of body shape and color analysis to students, the … [Read more...]
The 6 Biggest Mistakes To Avoid
In my early 20s I sucked with women. I was fat. I wasn't making any money. I didn't know how to dress. No wonder I couldn't get dates. I wanted to change everything at once. I didn't know what to do. Things are different now. I date hot women. I choose what kind of relationships I want. I'm in shape. All of the problems of the typical American dude are solved in my life. I never have to settle. I don't feel guilty bragging about my lifestyle because I hustled my ass off to get here. So how did I get here? I got here because I failed. A lot. I've made the same mistakes … [Read more...]
The Unspoken Rules of Bottle Service
There's an art to having a great night out when you're doing bottle service. If you aren't a bottle service regular, you're stepping into a world with tons of unwritten rules and norms that you need to follow in order to look like a socially competent guy. Successful men and attractive women understand this stuff subconsciously and will determine if you're one of the "cool kids" by whether or not you know how to conduct yourself at a table. Until now, these rules have been kept secret. Let's get started! Males split the bill. If the bill is $800 then 10 guys pay $80 each. Women never … [Read more...]
Day game is the best use of your time- Here’s why
Last night I was discussing my client Cameron's progress with him. Cameron has dates lined up for the next three nights with girls he met from day gaming. After walking home from the bars, he told me how almost all of his dates come from day gaming: “It’s just so much easier. I get way more love when I approach during the day from hotter girls than I meet at night.” The reason for this is because the bar scene in LA is really competitive. Dudes here are fucking beasts. This is true everywhere, but even more so in LA. Before I moved away from LA, my game was nowhere as solid as it is now, … [Read more...]
The good news about your dating life
When I was a kid I spent 10 years doing nothing but practicing golf. I was a +2 handicap at one point (2 strokes better than scratch) and an All-American in college. I just thought I was just lucky to find a good coach because I worked with John Anselmo, who taught Tiger Woods from age 12-17. I also thought I was blessed with a natural swing thanks to my ice hockey skillz. After I discovered The Game in 2006, I figured getting good with women and making crazy money would come easy too. I didn't realize that I got better at golf by doing NOTHING but practicing and playing EVERY DAY for 10 … [Read more...]
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