If everyone likes you, chances are you're struggling with women. What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m a jerk? What if I make them angry? What if they talk trash behind my back? “I had a realization today,” said Marty, one of my students. “What I realized is that to be successful and confident, not everyone is going to like me… And if I am pushing myself, I will most likely annoy and piss some people off because they may see me as a jerk, creepy or arrogant. But I can’t let that affect how I feel about myself.” Marty had this realization during a particular … [Read more...]
The Secret Ingredient for Lots of Success with Women
Back in the day, I was out with a small group of students at a new bar in west L.A. Prior to going out, we did a bunch of drills to help them get over their approach anxiety and have fun opening conversations. We were using some fairly edgy openers. But all of the guys in attendance had zero approach anxiety by the end of the night, and we all had a great time. How is it possible to say edgy things and deliver risky openers without worrying about what happens afterward? A conversation I had with one of my students who is a little older and less comfortable in bar environments really … [Read more...]
Avoid the Chode Crystal at All Costs
Chode Crystal: A chode crystal is known as a group of guys in their social circle at a bar or club who are too afraid to go over and talk to new people. They crystallize in the same position, not moving with their drink held up to their chest. Kind of like wallflowers. The chode crystals can get pretty big, and it’s a bunch of chode guys just looking in their group where the most entertainment is. When I first heard this expression from my friend, Monish, I almost died laughing. Is it a bad thing to stand around at a bar with your buddies and just hang out? Of course not! I play in men’s … [Read more...]
Is Your Appearance Helping or Hurting You?
About four years ago, I went out on a series of dates with a beautiful Persian girl. After the third date, she stopped responding to my texts and phone calls. This really shocked me because she seemed totally into me and things were going well. Six months later, I decided to send her a text message: “Hey ____, I’m trying to improve my dating life and I was wondering if you could tell me why you decided to stop seeing me. Please be brutally honest - I can take it. Thanks!” She responded to the text and said that she stopped seeing me because on our last date when I was wearing … [Read more...]
Don’t Make the Mistake of Setting the Wrong Goals
Have you ever gone out to a bar with the goal of getting a phone number, getting a kiss, getting some action or having great interactions? If your answer is “no,” then I know you're a liar! We've all been there and you may be wondering, “What’s wrong with doing that?” When we set a goal and it doesn’t happen, most of us beat ourselves up and decide to try harder next time. Next time rolls around and since we have decided to try harder, now we’re gonna make the goal even tougher and push ourselves even more. It doesn’t happen, and we beat ourselves up again. The problem is not … [Read more...]
8 Tips to Maintain Sexual Tension in a Relationship
Today we have another excellent post by my good friend Eric Disco from Approach Anxiety. “Okay, so you got the girl,” guys ask me, “but at what point can you just relax and let your guard down?” The short answer: Never. Look at it this way: When can you stop being a man around women and just be submissive and sexless? Never. Once you get used to it, maintaining the sexual tension in relationships is actually quite easy and fun – as long as you set it up that way from the start. Much of relationship management is not slipping into nice guy mode and instead always remaining a … [Read more...]
How To Get Out of Your Head and Stop Overthinking Things
Being a smart person is usually a good thing; however, when it comes to meeting and dating women, it can be a hindrance at times. There are many ways that overthinking about dating and meeting women hurts you. I have a few suggestions for guys out there who are confused at times and don’t know what the next step is. Be your own best friend At some time in point, there has to be a shift in the way you talk to yourself about meeting and dating women. Instead of the voice that beats you up, you’ve got to be your own best friend and pat yourself on the back for trying. … [Read more...]
Ask for Forgiveness, Not Permission
One of my clients recently said to me, “I feel like you’ve given me permission to speak my mind.” He went on to talk about how he had always felt disrespected and belittled by his older brother but now he has the courage to stand up to him and tell him how he feels. I think that's really cool, and it has EVERYTHING to do with confidently attracting women. I used to be the classic “inauthentic nice guy” you hear about in the seduction community. I couldn’t handle confrontation, so I made sure to keep my mouth shut and avoid making people angry. I thought this was a good strategy … [Read more...]
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