How you do anything is how you do everything, and the people you choose to associate with reflects on your character. It’s crucial to surround yourself with guys who are better than you if you want to become better with women.
Women are attracted to social status more than anything else, and one of the most important ways to show (not tell) your status is by being a leader or providing value in a group of other attractive men. This is why I always talk about how improving your dating life is more than just knowing how to attract; it’s about being a complete man who’s attractive to women.
So what do you do if all your friends are losers? Ditch the losers so you’re in a sink or swim situation. If you have no social contact, you’ll have no choice but to force yourself outside of your comfort zone to meet new people. And do it for your own mental health too; we naturally absorb the attitudes, thoughts, and actions of the people around us, so remaining in friendships with toxic people hurts you. It’s a subconscious process that psychologists call “convergence.”
Identify what kind of friends you’d like to make, and start participating in the activities that these people do. Are they into physical fitness? Join a Crossfit gym. Are they businesspeople? Hang out at the country club. Do they play chess? Join a chess tournament. Not sure who you’d like to meet? Pick up a side job in retail and start talking to your coworkers. Want to meet fun people while learning a new social skill? Do improv comedy. Just start doing something, absorb your experience as feedback, and adjust your actions from there.
By encountering people with similar interests to you in a natural environment, it’s easy for you to make friendships when you both start to gradually reveal more personal information about yourselves.
In order to become friends with people, you need to provide some value to them. This can be as simple and straightforward as being a good listener. If people feel comfortable and at ease around you, they’ll want to form a friendship with you.
The Four Types of Male Friendships
Men tend to have friendships that fall into one of four categories. If you understand these categories, you’ll know how to keep your loser friends at a distance and how to build valuable connections with others.
Just Friends
Just friends are guys you see from time to time and have surface-level connections with. It could be a poker buddy or a guy you see often at the gym. The distinction here is that it’s someone you don’t intend to get to know better or see in a different situation. Sometimes a wingman will fall into this category- he’s someone you’ll go out with but don’t have any kind of lasting bond.
Rust Friends
Rust friends are the friends you’ve had your whole life. It could be a childhood best friend or someone else you’ve known most of your life. You may have different priorities and values now, but the length of your bond is what sustains the friendship. These aren’t necessary deep friendships- they’re just old ones.
Trust Friends
Trust friends are friends who you’ve established a close bond with. Having this kind of friend to support you is crucial. You can share your challenges with them and they’ll help you get through them. They’ll help you meet women and you know you can count on them.
Must Friends
Must friends are friends who you “must” share everything with. They’re your deepest source of a masculine bond, and they form your inner circle. While it takes a long time with a lot of shared experiences to form, these are the types of lifelong friendships we cultivate in the Leverage Program. Having women in your life is great, but you can supercharge both your dating and your social lives by surrounding yourself with successful men and mentors.
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future! This idiom is so true…Sadly many people fail to take this simple message onboard. Look around your friendship group…You are the sum of the five friends you hang around with. Do you have loser friends? Well guess what you will subconsciously adopt their loserville mentality and attributes. The best nature can be corrupted by the worst company, remember that.
Also remember, you have one life and you don’t owe anyone anything especially if they are negatively impacting your life. Ditch anyone who brings you down or stops you from progressing to become the best version of yourself you know you can be.
I made a choice with the people and environment I was unfortunately at one time sadly associated with. I stopped hanging around with the losers who would take drugs and drink themselves in to oblivion every night and weekend. I stopped putting myself in environments where negativity and toxic conditions were deemed acceptable. You know the types of people and environments I’m taking about. Those loser friends who have no money, destroy their health with poor decisions like smoking drinking and drugs and complain about how life’s unfair. The environments at work where you have to stick your hand up in the air to take a lunch break or waste time speaking about Netflix series and how hammered you got the previous evening. Wake up! Lose the losers and gain your freedom. I’d rather be alone and in the right track to achieving my goals than people please and be surrounded by people who bring me down. My advice is simple. If you’re a bloke start getting in to nutrition, physical fitness and hang around with people who strengthen you.
Ditch the losers before it’s too late and their attributes become your attributes.