For all of us who are feeling as though their online dating lives have been dim and dismal lately, we finally have something better, more simplified and modernized than more traditional sites like Match and eHarmony. There is no denying it: Tinder is the newest craze in the dating world. If you’re not familiar with tinder, you’re a nerd living under a rock and I’m not going to bother explaining what it is.
Due to the platform, the strategy is slightly different but all the rules of dating and more specifically, online dating, still apply.
Building Your Profile:
My favorite part about Tinder is that it is basically runs through your Facebook profile – choosing your more recent pictures through Facebook and you can see if you have mutual friends with girls you are matching with.
Its important to realize the difference between where men and women are coming from using a dating app like Tinder. Men are on there to fulfill a sexual desire and find a girl to hook up with. In the process you also get to check out a bunch of hot chicks , which is addictive in itself. The prospect of easy dates with the built in “hot or not” experience makes these apps extremely popular. Unfortunately, easy is not the reality. Sure you’ve heard some stories that are probably bogus but anytime you’ve gotta take a woman from completely cold from the interwebz and into your bed it’s gonna be a process and time investment. As much as men wish it were true, most women will not just hook up with you because you’re good looking, they need/want a connection to satisfy their own desires for safety, comfort and not feeling/looking like a ho. If you want to succeed in Tinder, you’ve got a lot of competition.
A man’s experience: You log in in to the app and you’re fed a picture of a girl. If you dig her you click yes, if you don’t you click no and if you’re not sure you can look at more of her pictures (up to 5), read her headline, see if you have mutual friends or mutual interests and then click yes or no. You cannot see the next girl without making a decision. His decision is based almost completely on looks. I couldn’t care less what her headline says. If you both click yes, you’re given access to send her a message. From there it becomes the game to convince her to see you in person.
A hot woman’s experience: She logs in and sees pictures of dudes. She is overwhelmed by losers who have no idea how to choose a picture, dudes who are shirtless, selfie pics, and a variety of other blunders guys make on their profiles. Anytime she clicks yes she is getting a match because every guy will click yes to a hot girl. I watched a girlfriend of mine scroll through and every single guy she liked also liked her and I was watching this happen for 10 minutes. There had to be at least 50 matches. A hot girl is almost never going to message a guy, she doesn’t need to. Once she matches, it becomes a game to weed out dudes who can’t hold her attention and if she is bored or adventurous enough, she might see one of these guys in person (most likely in a group situation so she feels safe) but she’ll certainly feel silly about it.
How to build your profile:
– Choose 5 photos from your Facebook profile.
– No shirtless pics
– No selfies
– No pictures with you and other girls your age (your mom or grandma is fine if your other pictures give off the “bad boy” vibe. If you look like a dork, don’t put up a picture with your mom)
– No more than one picture with a group
– Your pictures should portray you as a well-dressed, social, cool, dynamic guy.
– Something short and witty to show you have personality. Example: “I promise I’m really awesome, charismatic, funny and all around good guy… don’t believe me, just ask my Jewish mom.”
Choose a few interests but don’t go crazy, Choose 3-5 max. Sports, books, music, TV shows and movies are great for this.
You can also share your Pinterest profile. This is a great tool to showcase more of yourself. Women love Pinterest, so having a cool Pinterest profile attached to your tinder can give you massive bonus points in the eyes of some women.
How to message:
If you’ve matched with a girl your opening message should be short and witty. The only information you’ll have is her pictures, her tagline, any shared interests or friends, and possibly her Pinterest. Do not comment on her physical appearance. You already told her she was hot when you clicked “yes”; if you tell her again, you’ll look like every other idiot. You must stand out from the competition and to do that you must know what the competition is doing. I’ll just tell you, you’re welcome….
You can find a list of our favorite opening lines, and follow ups in our Free Tinder Guide.