On this episode, we host Dan Chang from The Friend Formula to discuss conversation skills, small talk, getting out of your head, and more.
You’ll learn:
- Three steps you can start using right away for getting out of your head and into the present moment, no matter how nervous you feel in a conversation
- How to make someone feel truly heard and listened to- a rare experience they’re likely to remember you for
- How understanding how coffee filters work can stop you from running out of things to say
- The Stream of Consciousness exercise to help with that too
- The transitive effect of emotions: what to do when you feel the energy in a conversation start to run out
- How understanding the antidote for approval-seeking behavior can help you to stop putting people on a pedestal
- A unique strategy for dealing with limiting beliefs and negative thoughts
- The formula for developing new relationships by transitioning from small talk to deeper topics of emotional connection
- How to navigate the four phases of a conversation: cliches, facts, opinions, and feelings (trust me, this framework is a game-changer)
- The one thing people actually remember from your conversation
Bonus! Sign up for the free mini-course here.
And get more great content on Dan’s Facebook page.
Great podcast and information! I enjoyed that actual exercises, especially the stream of consciousness speaking to help remove filters. Dan Chang mentions a number of steps of communication, which is straight from “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” by Matthew Kelly. Dan only mentions the first 4 phases, and doesn’t mention the other steps/levels that you might be missing for a deeper connection once you are in a relationship. Gaining awareness of the steps related to being intimate with anyone has an impact for all aspects of your life so I highly recommend this book for further depth in the subject matter.
In this podcast, I really liked the focus on the energy, bonding, and connection, rather than anything about “what” you say. The dog analogy is cool in another way . . . if we approached people like we were coming up to a baby or a dog, you are coming with an energy of no worries, no concern about what you say, no agenda, just a positive vibe to help you connect.
Good points from this podcast:
-Remove filter when you talk exercise
-Equalizing people status
-Trust+ fun over time is a great formula
Cliches, facts, opinions, feelings… Great way to break down rapport building conversation and the importance of the order of those steps.
I tried the conversation stream exercise yesterday and found it really valuable. A few hours later I went out with a bunch of new friends and found it much easier to express myself in the moment without filtering. As a result I felt I was noticeably less quiet than I normally tend to be in similar situations and a lot funnier, it almost like getting the benefits of drinking alcohol without drinking, as you guys discussed on the episode.