One of the most common mistakes people make when it comes to dating is acting too formal, proper and overly polite.
This is how we are typically encouraged to behave if we were raised by well meaning, intelligent parents because it creates responsible members of society that will succeed in school, career and society.
Unfortunately, acting formal will not get you laid and will create barriers to finding love.
I work with smart successful men who typically work in IT, law and entrepreneurs. Making money requires us to be analytical, detail oriented, mindful and methodical. But these personality traits don’t carry over well into the dating scene.
Dating should be fun and if we want to succeed we have to be loose.
Loose is not giving a fuck, loose is saying what’s on our minds, loose is spontaneous, odd, mysterious and charming.
Most of us walk around all day in our default headspace or lens we view the world through. If you’re an analytical person, your big brain is constantly processing information, trying to be efficient and look out for both opportunities and danger.
What if you see a smoke piece walking down the street who you want to shag, what are you gonna do?
You’re gonna decide there are too many reasons to not talk to her because that’s what your brain is optimized to do.
Then you’re gonna think about he, maybe jerk off to her or someone else that looks like her and beat yourself up for being a twat.
But what if you were feeling loose?
You’d just go and say whatever the fuck came to mind and tell her you like her, or you’d do something, anything to get her attention and interact.
It will likely fail to impress her or inspire her to see you again but at least you’ve got a chance.
If you do this to 10 hot women, you’ll likely get a date with 1 and every time you do it, the more loose you’ll be in the future, the more fun you’ll be around people, the more people will like you and the more good shit will come your way.
So stop being a stuffy formal fuck and spend a little time each day risking being a loose idiot.
Here are 21 ways in order of easy to hard to do that:
- Block an entrance to a busy store like a Starbucks. Look preoccupied with your cell phone or another distraction, and don’t move until someone tells you to move.
- Lie down on the ground in a crowded public area for at least a minute. (credit: Tim Ferriss)
- Say hello to three random people.
- Ask multiple people in a specific and obvious location (e.g., right outside XXX Park, or a T stop) where to find that location (“Excuse me, I am looking for XXX Park”).
- Walk backwards down the street.
- Go out and ask 20 people for the time or directions to the nearest Starbucks in under 10 minutes.
- Introduce yourself to 10 strangers by saying “Hi, this is random but I’m trying to get rid of my social anxiety so I just wanted to say hi.” Then walk away.
- Once you feel comfortable with #7, do the same thing and add: “Hi, this is random but I’m trying to get rid of my social anxiety so I just wanted to say hi. My name is uhhhhhhhhhhhhh” (Hold the uhhhhh as long as you can, then walk away.)
- Order coffee or food and ask for it to be free. Be persistent and ask at least twice even if they say no.
- Walk up to a window at a crowded restaurant or cafe. Lean against the window with your forehead, keeping your arms at your side, and stare forward with a blank expression for at least a minute. (credit: Sasha Daygame)
- Ask 3 random people on the street if they like your shirt.
- Ask 3 random people on the street if they believe in God.
- Block traffic while standing in the pedestrian crosswalk, pretending to text on your phone. Stay still until the light changes and a driver honks.
- Ask someone for $20. If they ask for a reason, say because you want it.
- Ask a stranger for change from a dollar.
- Go to a restaurant to eat. Ask for something that is not on the menu. Be persistent and insist that they serve it to you.
- Go into a drug store and ask for extra-small condoms. Do it loud enough so that other customers can hear you.
- Stop a girl, say hey and point backwards, as with the normal hook and swoop, then just stand there and don’t say anything. Stay there until she leaves.
- Walk up to 20 girls in under 20 minutes and say “Hi, this is random but I just had to tell you that you are cute.” Then walk away.
- Ask a couple where the nearest STD clinic is. Explain that your crotch is really itchy and you’re worried. Tell them they can take a look if you’d like. Scratch your pants while continuing the conversation. (credit: Sasha Daygame)
- Stop a couple on the street. Ask them if they know any stores nearby where you can get a present for your ex-girlfriend. Explain that you’re trying to win your ex-girlfriend back and aren’t sure what to get her. The whole time you’re talking, pretend to pick your nose. Pretend to play with your boogers, taste them, etc. At the end of the introduction, thank them and attempt to shake their hand. (credit: Sasha Daygame)
Tomorrow we’ll talk about being a formal and overly polite fuck in your text messages…