Ever hear the saying don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good? Nowhere is this more true than when you’re learning how to be better with women. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be good enough.
A lot of the advice out there is aiming at perfection. And this is counterproductive for improving your skills and improving your life.
Because here’s the thing: guys today have set the bar very low. Ask any woman about her frustrations with dating, and she’ll tell you that most guys are terrible:
- They don’t have the empathy to be able to picture what a woman actually wants in a guy. Painful.
- They follow terrible societal stereotypes that they think will make them successful, like trying to get rich while neglecting their social skills. Ugh.
- Or they try to buy a woman’s affection through gifts and spending money, rather than developing a dynamic personality that women are naturally attracted to. Barf.
Real success is about becoming attractive to women, not learning how to attract women. Being dynamic makes up for flaws in each category. Because all the terrible guys out there have set the bar so low, it means you don’t have to be the best in every category. You just have to be better than most guys in a few different areas. Let’s take a look at some of the traits women are attracted to.
Let’s look at some examples. A big one is your looks. Men are lucky because we have more control over our looks than women do. Women notice grooming, which is easy to get right. Women care about physique, which is something you can develop by working out, and they tend to notice guys who are lean more than guys who are jacked, which is actually an easier physique to build.
Same thing with your style and fashion. You don’t have to read fashion magazines or stay on top of the latest trends. You just have to wear clothes that fit you because most guys are so bad that they were baggy clothes. It’s VERY EASY to be in the top 25% of well dressed guys. And being in the top 25% is just as good as being in the top 1%.
What else? Conversation skills. It’s okay to make some comments here and there that fall flat, as long as you know how to call it out. If you say something and get a bad reaction, being able to say “Uh oh, you’re giving me a look like you want me to go die in a hole” will make up for the initial misstep. You don’t have to have the conversation skills of a politician or the storytelling skills to do well; you just have to be good enough, which is slightly above average.
Need more proof that being perfect is a bad goal? Social status is a huge one. You don’t need to be at the top of the food chain in society, you just need to be a leader for whatever tribe (social group) you’re a part of. If you can act decisively, influence others, and be effective at what you’ve chosen to do, that’s enough. You don’t need to be a celebrity or an ultra-successful businessman to display the social status characteristics that women find attractive.
When you focus on taking action to improve every area of your life, you don’t have to be in the top 1% of each trait, because you develop a dynamic character that most men never even realize is important. That’s what Inner Confidence is.