Why you should be rock climbing (for dating).... I googled ‘rock climbing gym’ then hit images. Notice how many girls are in the images. 18 reasons why you should do this: There are days I’ve gone to a climbing gym and there have been 42 girls and 26 guys. Groups of 2-4 girls often go climbing. Climbing is very social. It’s totally normal for one group of randoms to make friends with another group of randoms. In one session you could in theory talk to 20 people. You could also talk to zer0 if you choose. Both are common. If you meet a girl and she climbs, she’s in shape … [Read more...]
Dealing with discomfort
What I'm about to say is sad, but not very controversial: most people would experience mild discontent with their situation than face the discomfort that’s necessary for improving their lives. People just don't want to tolerate discomfort, even if they have a guarantee it’s temporary. Getting into shape is a prime example. Unhealthy people tend to know that getting into shape requires eating healthy, and physical exercise. The failure to act isn’t caused by a lack of information. It stems from an unwillingness to feel uncomfortable. Eating healthy is uncomfortable. Working out causes … [Read more...]
You Should Dump Your Girlfriend
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting a girl who isn’t really a good fit for you stick around because she prevents you from feeling lonely. We all feel lonely at times. It’s part of the human condition. And for guys who aren’t naturally good with women, it’s normal to feel lonely most or even all of the time. When you start developing your skills, having success is inevitable. You’ll start to get numbers, you’ll start to get dates, you’ll start to make out with women, and you’ll start to sleep with ones you like. Once you start … [Read more...]
If You Play it Safe You’re Boring
When you look at guys who are great with women, or anyone with peak social awareness, they perform a bunch of smaller actions that add up to an arsenal of social skills. These discrete skills combine to form a killer ability to communicate with others and assertively get what they want. When we’re teaching you to improve your dating life, we focus on a lot. Accumulating as much practice as you can and playing the “numbers game” is part of it. Developing your character is also part of it, and it can seem overwhelming to go from where you are now to the success you really dream of. While … [Read more...]
The 8 Ways to Click With Women
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member and resident lazy fuck I've been working on my connection skills, and the group recommended I check out a book called Click: The Forces Behind How We Fully Engage with People, Work, and Everything We Do. The book is basically a collection of tons of examples and studies going over each aspect that creates instant connections, or what they call "quick set intimacy": That magic moment when you feel like you're in the zone while talking to another person, like you're 10/10 on 3 pointers. Except the baskets are people. Or something. So here are the … [Read more...]
Develop Your Inner Confidence Interview on Pickup Change
I was recently interviewed by pickupchange.com We talked about how to build your confidence and make your approach to girls more natural and effective. Here’s what we covered in the podcast: The easiest way to meet girls How to develop your inner confidence How to overcome approach anxiety What is the average success ratio in daygame How to enjoy the process and stop being focused only on the outcome Do looks and wealth really matter? How to spot a girl who is actively looking for … [Read more...]
Do you agree too much?
A common mistake that guys who don't have well-developed social skills make is that they are too agreeable. They don't want to tell girls no. They don't want to make polarizing statements. They'd rather go with the flow than rock the boat. They avoid controversy. At first glance, this seems like it's a good idea. If you aren't a social genius or a beast with women, why take a risk that has a chance of hurting a relationship or creating tension? Here's the problem: when you're in the middle, you're vanilla. You need to be polarizing to be attractive to people. You need to filter some … [Read more...]
Why is approaching so important for building confidence?
You've heard me say it over and over, but if you expect to get results and you're not crushing approaches or already dating multiple women, it's just not gonna happen. If you wanna get good at basketball you've gotta take a ton of shots right? You can't expect to show up at the court, stand around with the ball and expect to improve can you? Well, that's what many of you guys are doing, and then whining that you suck and the program isn't working. That line of thinking is actually offensive to guys who have put in the work. Robbie crushed 10k approaches by the time he was in his late … [Read more...]
Reader question: How do I escape the friend zone?
A reader asks: I'm planning out a date with an old casual friend from my hometown, where I've been staying for a few months. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and looking forward to dating again. Background: I've somewhat had a crush on her. I always had an older brother-sister frame with her. I want to use this harmless coffee to take a step beyond the friendship dynamic. I know I need to do this very smoothly so there is no weirdness and end up creeping her out. What's the best way to do this? You are going about this with the wrong frame of mind. She knows you are both out of … [Read more...]
How do I connect with girls on their level?
A common challenge for guys during the process of developing their conversation skills is that they struggle to connect with girls intellectually. But most of the time, this isn't a challenge they realize they're facing, because it expresses itself in other ways. The most common way it shows up is when guys ask "How do I turn my brain off and talk to girls on their level?" or "How do I connect with girls at parties?" This is something I've always had a natural inclination for. I didn't even realize it was a useful skill until I heard a bunch of other guys lamenting about the challenges of … [Read more...]
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