What I'm about to say is sad, but not very controversial: most people would experience mild discontent with their situation than face the discomfort that’s necessary for improving their lives. People just don't want to tolerate discomfort, even if they have a guarantee it’s temporary. Getting into shape is a prime example. Unhealthy people tend to know that getting into shape requires eating healthy, and physical exercise. The failure to act isn’t caused by a lack of information. It stems from an unwillingness to feel uncomfortable. Eating healthy is uncomfortable. Working out causes … [Read more...]
How to Set Goals: The Pillars of Life
Guest post by James, Leverage Program moderator Sitting in the airport in Buenos Aires, after a weekend of food poisoning and partying, I was feeling pretty miserable waiting for my flight that Sunday evening. I was writing and avoiding my travel friends, just going through my normal weekly routine and trying to prepare for the week to come. Phillip, a guy I met that weekend came over and asked me what I was writing about. I really looked up to Phillip but I hadn’t been able to create the relationship I wanted with him. He was a deep thinker, entrepreneur, in great shape, and charming. I … [Read more...]
9 Ways to Create Enough Time and Money for a Quality Dating Life
Recently, I asked for an update from some of my coaching clients in the Leverage Program. I noticed that almost all of the guys who are lagging on the dating front are also worried about their finances. While it’s true that guys often use money as an excuse, I actually do think that it’s hard to get your dating life handled if your finances are also not in order. Financial difficulties are an emotional drain that affects our self-esteem and cause us to project insecurity to everyone around us. The relationship between money and dating is an issue I started to think about in junior … [Read more...]
Bringing Day Game Into Your Everyday Life
Guest post by Patrick, Leverage Program member You’ve read our blog posts on why you should day game, you get the concept, but are you still struggling to connect with girls when you hit on them? The game changer is that you need to start incorporating day game into your everyday life. Luckily for me, I live in New York City, where the opportunities for day game are endless. While it is definitely important to set aside some time to go out and practice day game, especially when you're first starting, your goal should be to incorporate practicing your communication skills on a daily … [Read more...]
If You Play it Safe You’re Boring
When you look at guys who are great with women, or anyone with peak social awareness, they perform a bunch of smaller actions that add up to an arsenal of social skills. These discrete skills combine to form a killer ability to communicate with others and assertively get what they want. When we’re teaching you to improve your dating life, we focus on a lot. Accumulating as much practice as you can and playing the “numbers game” is part of it. Developing your character is also part of it, and it can seem overwhelming to go from where you are now to the success you really dream of. While … [Read more...]
Inner Confidence on Elite Daily: Yes, Women Actually Do Pay A Lot Of Attention To The Way You’re Dressed
At the end of the day, being dynamic is your greatest sales pitch ever. The end-all, be-all is becoming a man who’s witty, charismatic, driven, spontaneous and grounded. This is the whole package, and women will pretty much do anything to be with a man who’s dynamic. If you don’t know how to dress, it immediately sends out a signal you’re not dynamic. Continue reading on Elite Daily. … [Read more...]
Do I Need To Be Rich To Date Hot Women?
A lot the teachings of Inner Confidence are how you can use minimalism to be successful in all areas of life. There's a big misconception out there that you need to have money to date women. It's crucial to understand that the only lasting method of having a healthy dating life is to first, develop the characteristics that women find attractive, second, learn how to display those characteristics, and third, put yourself in situations where the kind of women you want to meet will notice you displaying those characteristics. Money can be a signal for traits that women find attractive, like … [Read more...]
The 8 Ways to Click With Women
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member and resident lazy fuck I've been working on my connection skills, and the group recommended I check out a book called Click: The Forces Behind How We Fully Engage with People, Work, and Everything We Do. The book is basically a collection of tons of examples and studies going over each aspect that creates instant connections, or what they call "quick set intimacy": That magic moment when you feel like you're in the zone while talking to another person, like you're 10/10 on 3 pointers. Except the baskets are people. Or something. So here are the … [Read more...]
Develop Your Inner Confidence Interview on Pickup Change
I was recently interviewed by pickupchange.com We talked about how to build your confidence and make your approach to girls more natural and effective. Here’s what we covered in the podcast: The easiest way to meet girls How to develop your inner confidence How to overcome approach anxiety What is the average success ratio in daygame How to enjoy the process and stop being focused only on the outcome Do looks and wealth really matter? How to spot a girl who is actively looking for … [Read more...]
Do you agree too much?
A common mistake that guys who don't have well-developed social skills make is that they are too agreeable. They don't want to tell girls no. They don't want to make polarizing statements. They'd rather go with the flow than rock the boat. They avoid controversy. At first glance, this seems like it's a good idea. If you aren't a social genius or a beast with women, why take a risk that has a chance of hurting a relationship or creating tension? Here's the problem: when you're in the middle, you're vanilla. You need to be polarizing to be attractive to people. You need to filter some … [Read more...]
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