cool kids Archives - Inner Confidence

Review of the IC Introductory Workshop

We recently had 5 new clients join our Leverage Program from the Phoenix area.

I always love when this happens because it creates a satellite community within our group and because the guys are local, it’s very easy for them to spend time together, wing each other, and push each other to grow faster.

And because all of these guys were at pretty similar levels when it came to meeting women, I decided to drive out to Phoenix for the weekend with a few of the moderators to get these guys started off on the right foot.

(Review of The Phoenix Workshop – By Jad Morris)

I’m at home..bored..alone..playing video games and watching Netflix..fantasizing about woman I wish I could be with.

Watch some porn at night and masturbating to the women of my dreams..my house is a fucking pigsty… I am eating like shit..fat..overweight and dressed like an idiot…zero confidence and hating my life with no genuine friends or social skills.

How many of you can relate to what I’m taking about? May be you’re in a similar situation?

Enter Robbie, Sasha, Maxwell, Tyler and Cameron. These alpha males saved my life from utter failure and hopeless chances of ever having solid inner confidence in what’s needed to be a fucking beast with woman.

I get to the workshop not having a clue what to expect. Instantly I wanted what these guys had. Charm, charisma, confidence and an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and most of all…the hottest women I’ve ever laid eyes on on a regular basis day after day with ease!!

They have me do Day game approaches..recording my interactions with woman with a microphone and video camera. These guys reviewed it and I got feedback. I failed miserably and everyone laughed about it including myself and underneath I was like what a fucking pathetic loser I am.

Then they showed me their first interactions and encounters with woman and they were just as bad and I thought to myself..ok if these guys can do it, so can I.

I learned about approaching woman in many different scenarios with the men.. What to say, my body posture, even the speed of which I talk. When I say it, how I say it..all of it matters.

Tyler and Cameron forced me to approach random woman in the mall. Was difficult..I was chasing women all over the place..they even made me run out of a car and approach a woman walking down the street!! Never in a million years would I have ever done that or even thought about doing something that bold in my life!! Best day ever.

I was forced to hit on woman in the day and at first I had tons of social anxiety. It got easier as it went. I then started pulling phone numbers and it was actually becoming fun.

I learned that social status, fashion, texting and even dating all have a unique and effective way to get woman in the sack. One wrong move..you’re toast! It became the ultimate challenge.

Night game the guys had me go to clubs in Scottsdale and approach woman as well..day one I sucked, was in my head and nervous..Robbie talked to me a lot and told me what to say to woman when I approached them. He was talking to woman with ease while I was standing around like a fucking idiot without a clue what to say or do. It was fun and challenging and I realized this guy had something I truly wanted..confidence, women and he actually gives a fuck about others and their well-being including me. Felt good to have someone give al fuck about me for the first time.

I then bought a drink..had a straw in my vodka redbull drink and Maxwell said get rid of the straw..I did and ironically that made a huge difference when I was approaching woman and I began to get phone numbers.

He had me be a lead with him as my wingman and introduce him to someone forcing me to be the social butterfly I wasn’t yet. Woman saw through it, weren’t interested in me and I lacked confidence was intimidated and left him hanging with a girl..he brutalized me and said never fucking do that again. I’m here to help you!! Woke me up and I didn’t do that and learned to never leave my wingman until they are ready.

Sasha I found talking to the hottest woman I saw in the club. He told me to approach two women at a bar..I learned there is a time when to do that, how to do that and what to say to introduce myself. I was again forced to approach and failed yet it got me out of my comfort zone and then it became easier and easier to approach the rest of the night.

Day two we went to a country bar that night and I crushed!! Got 12 numbers that night. I felt like a fucking predator looking for my next female victim to entice with my charm and get her number. Was a god that couldn’t be touched or phased by anything woman did or said. I ended up making out with one chick, had a blast, and was more alive then I ever have been. Was incredible.

Also I learned cooking is important to know. I was forced to cook a meal for the guys and I hated it and didn’t know how to cook yet I was forced to learn and did it. These guys force you to face your worst fears and smash them!!

If you ever get to meet these alpha males, they will ruthlessly, yet compassionately force you to face your inner demons and build confidence. They will teach you the ways to success and if you can pass through the gates of the creepy zone of hell, the other side is a life most men only dream of.

The AZ workshop was fucking bad ass!! If I wouldn’t of gone, I would still be doing what I was doing. Thank God there are guys that give a fuck and care about me. They changed EVERYTHING!!

Cheers,

Jad

Do Looks Matter?

by Robbie 1 Comment

Guys looking to meet women often ask the question, “Do looks matter?”

It depends.

The short answer:

They matter more to girls who are young and inexperienced with dating. As women get older and look to settle down and have a family, they hardly matter at all.

The long answer:

[Begin Rant]

When most girls start dating, they target guys who they find good looking.

She may tell her friends that their high school crush, Johnny, is hot because he has a six pack, big blue eyes and great hair.

But she also omitted from her statement that he has great body language, swagger, ability to tell awesome stories, and great fashion.

Most girls bang between 25 to 75 “Johnnys” between the ages of 16 and 27 who treat her like shit, make fun of her, hit her up at 1am for bootie calls, and generally do all the things in opposition of society tells men to do.

I was never a Johnny.

I grew up with a loving mother who told me to a gentleman, level headed and do nice things for women.

My father lead by example by providing for our family, coaching my soccer teams, helping me become a straight A student, and everything else an awesome dad should do. But he told me hardly anything about what it takes to get a girl.

I had an amazing childhood, but it did not prepare me for banging hot chicks.

I followed my mom’s advice and became a typical “nice guy,” sexless and frustrated.

[End Rant]

The confusion with the “Do you looks matter” conversation is that guys actually listen to the nonsense that a lot of young chicks spew about attraction.

When a girl says a dude is hot, she’s not necessarily talking about his looks, it’s the whole package.

The more a dude look and behave like Dan Bilzerian, the more pussy he’ll get.

When a dude says a chick is hot, he’s most definitely talking about her looks and sex appeal.

The more a chick can look and behave like Kim Kardashian, the more cock she’ll get.

It’s a little easier for girls, because their hotness is based more on things that are out of their control.

As girls get older, they start to value other qualities in a man more than his looks. After fucking 50 “Johnnys” they finally want to date a nice, sweet guy that can provide for them and build a family together. In exchange, she might give him sex some of the time, when she doesn’t have a headache.

If you’re a “nice guy” I’d suggest developing Johnny’s skill set or at least understand that many Johnnys did many dirty things to your girl before you got your hands on her.

It wasn’t the same for our grandparents or parents, but this is the sad reality of modern day dating.

How many times have you seen a very attractive woman… I mean, like, super attractive…walking down the street, holding hands with a short, overweight and balding man?

It should no longer be a mystery what she sees in him.

The bottom line.

If you’re going for girls who are mature enough to see past the Johnnys of the world, looks can give you a slight boost in attracting her interest and attention, and that’s about it. They may get you a few one night stands with college chicks from Florida and Arizona, but forget any long term relationships without good social skills with high class and intelligent women.

After you start talking to a woman, she won’t care about how chiseled your face is or how big your biceps are. You suck at communication, that sexy model you were communicating with disappears.

Men Can Manipulate/Mold/Change Their Level of Attractiveness

Knowing women are mostly attracted to characteristics and qualities like leadership, confidence, humor, and other favorable traits, this is great news for us men! This means we can change our level of attractiveness to women by working on and improving these skills!

This is incredibly important to realized and implement constantly.

If attraction was based solely on looks, a lot of us would be screwed! Some of us wouldn’t have a chance at being with anybody.

Fortunately we have developed through the years as human beings with social skills. Our mental capacity to learn, evolve, adapt is influenced by whom we surround ourselves with and socialize with.

We have a way of increasing our level of social status through constant repetition. By being disciplined, we create functional habits that are socially increases through this routine over and over again.

Our commitments must be larger then our egos.

Our pride must be pushed aside at times to learn from others that have these social skills. Aka: this is were a coach, mentor or leader (Alpha Male) is in place to make this happen so we increase our social awareness at an accelerated rate than continuing to do things by ourselves and not be socially evolving.

We associate and hang around others whom are more experienced then those who are at our current primitive state of mind and communication to become socially adequate.

If you want to hang around more guys like this, read this.

By working on our personalities and working on our social traits, we can become more desirable in the eyes of more women.

Looks are not permanent They change every day.

The one that will never change is that men who have the best personalities attract the best women.

They have the confidence, leadership, social skills and charisma to be that “alpha male” that women desire.

Women will desire your personality above all else, so work on molding and creating a good one.

Body Language: Confident vs. Dorky

by Robbie Leave a Comment

How To Decipher A Woman’s Body Language To See If She Likes You

by Robbie Leave a Comment

Texting Advice: Should You Send Her Sexual Texts?

by Robbie 1 Comment

Here’s another example:

The Art of Peacocking

by Robbie Leave a Comment

Most of us have heard about peacocking: the idea of wearing an outrageous outfit or set of accessories to get a girl to notice you at a bar.

Traditionally, peacocking might mean wearing black nail polish or goggles or Matrix-style trench coats to get attention.

I’ve even seen dudes dress up in full-on costumes in a lame effort to stand out from the crowd.

They stand out from the crowd, all right.

That method of peacocking might work for some people but for the most part, it’s absolutely ridiculous and makes you look like an idiot more than it gets you laid.

Go for Subtlety

Less is more. The only way I’ve ever peacocked that’s worked has been to wear one thing that’s subtle.

If a girl wants to talk to you and you’re wearing a $20 Swatch watch, she’ll say, “Oh my god! I love your watch…”

This is often her way of communicating, “I think you’re awesome, I want to talk to you.”

And even if she really did just want to compliment you on your watch, you at least have her 1-on-1 attention to win her over.

Subtle peacocking doesn’t scream, “Look at me!” It gives a woman a reason to initiate conversation with you without looking like a slut in front of her friends.

I had a friend who, for an entire year, wore a bright purple fuzzy hat every night. All his buddies gave him shit, but he’d walk into a bar and within a matter of minutes some girl would come up to him and say, “Oh, I love your hat!” She’d start touching it. They’d start talking. And as soon as she put the hat on, he knew who he was taking home that night.

By the way, if a chick takes your clothes, you know she’s into you. It’s a very personal act to put on another person’s clothes. If she puts on your jacket, your sunglasses, your hat, whatever, it’s a sign you’re on the right track.

Pick Your Peacock Poison

I got a pin from my buddy that’s a “Fun Meter.”

On the meter, there are three options: Having an OK Time, Having Fun, and AWESOME! I’d put the pin on, set it to whichever dial I felt like, and start talking to people.

I can’t tell you how many women have walked up to me to play with my Fun Meter.

But before you run out to buy a Fun Meter pin or a purple fuzzy hat, remember that your subtle peacock piece has to match your personality.

If you’re the mysterious, brooding type, a Fun Meter is not going to work for you.

Pick something that feels right that you think will invite girls to come talk to you, and then try it out. Some things will work, others won’t.

The Lesson: Peacocking for the sake of peacocking is a waste of time and it makes you look ridiculous. Go for subtlety with the intention of extending an invitation for girls to come talk to you and you’ll see results – if you’re doing everything else right [LINK: The Secret to Being a Social Beast].

The Secret to Being a Social Beast: Breach the Dork Forcefield and Hang with the Cool Kids

by Robbie 1 Comment

People ask me all the time, “What’s your secret to dating hot chicks, and how can I be more like you?”

I can tell you, and I’m going to in just a minute, but you have to understand that you’re not going to become a social master in a day.

Pulling your ideal chick is the result of a massive body of work.

That body of work is essentially a lot of social practice: dating a lot of women, meeting a lot of women, having a lot of friends.

So, what’s my secret? I have a massive amount of practice, experience and repetitions under my belt. And I hang out with people that add tons of value to my life.

These are always people I would label as cool – The 3 Stages of Cool

Now lets talk about your behavior in social situations.

You have to understand the social flow of every situation so you can adapt, pivot and respond correctly at any moment and still make it look effortless.

Think of an MMA fighter. You watch them fight on television, but you don’t really understand what’s happening. You just think they have mad skills. But really, these guys are putting in eight hours of work a day for ten years: it’s all tactical, strategic skills. There are millions of moves.

It’s the same thing when it comes to being socially adept.

Start hanging out with more people, but not just any people. You have to hang out with the coolest kids you can find because they are better than you, socially.

When I was a kid I loved hockey and I still play.

At 14, I realized that they only way for me to get better at hockey was to play with people who were better than me. At that point I stopped playing with kids younger than me that I could easily beat and exclusively played with adults and the older high school and college kids.

I hung out with the cool kids, I went the rink 6 days a week, and I got good.

Overcome the Barrier to Entry

When it comes to hanging out with the cool kids, there’s definitely a barrier to entry.

Cool people have what I call a “Dork Forcefield.” Within a matter of seconds a cool kid will be able to tell if you’re a dork or not, and if you think you’re hiding your geek-ness, you’re wrong.

Dorks will only slow me down.

Think of it this way: if I’m out partying, I’m trying to have fun and meet chicks, go to the after parties and let loose. A dork is only going to be dead weight and slow me down.

He’s gonna be uncomfortable which will make others uncomfortable around him and he’ll turn to me (his friend) for support. This will make people in turn repel me as well.

There’s no way I’m hanging out with a dork, unless I think he has a skillset I can leverage or a service he can provide me. If that’s the case, then he gets to bypass the forcefield because there’s a mutually beneficial exchange happening.

Utilizing his services, we might even build a friendship.

The Lesson: Make friends with the coolest kids you can find.

Leverage your resources as social currency.

I don’t know how many graphic designers and programmers I’ve taken out who later say, “Man, I’ve slept with more girls in the last four months than I have in the past ten years.”

And I say, “Well yeah, of course.”

The 3 Stages of Cool

by Robbie 4 Comments

The ability to integrate with the cool kids is crucial to being able to attract hot girls.

A lot of people think that “cool” is a group, and when we talk about “cool kids,” it’s slightly misleading. “Cool” is not a group.

It’s a way of being, and there are three stages to it.

Stage 1 of Cool: The Trimmings

This is the most basic level of cool, it’s the entry level.

And when I say “trimmings” I’m talking about your clothes and your physical appearance.

95% of the time, geeks and nerds are wearing clothes that are too big for them and it instantly gives them away as not cool.

Unless you’re a celebrity, millionaire businessman, or you have something else really awesome going for you, you have to dress well to attract girls. If you don’t know how, read this – The Easiest Way to Become More Dynamic.

There’s no excuse for dressing like an idiot.

I guarantee that you will never see a 9 with an out-of-shape, poorly dressed dude unless he’s loaded or has something else going for him.

Go to the gym and get some clothes that actually fit to achieve the most basic stage of cool.

Don’t Fool Yourself

I hate it when I hear guys say, “I just want to meet a nice girl who doesn’t buy into all this ‘cool’ stuff.” Don’t conclude that you can’t have something so therefore you don’t like it.

This is called cognitive dissonance.

No one wants to hang out with a hater! The hottest chicks spend at least an hour a day working out, so you should, too.

If you want to get girls who are fit and smart and have money, you have to dress well and be in shape. Don’t kid yourself.

Stage 2 of Cool: Ease

You can tell if someone’s at stage 2 of cool if you feel comfortable around them. If you feel relaxed, and they put other people at ease, that person is cool.

They have an ability to be a chameleon: they can adapt to any social situation and fit in with any crowd.

More importantly, this person doesn’t make you feel awkward. Geeks make you feel awkward because they are uncomfortable with themselves and emotions are contagious. Cool people who are comfortable with themselves put you at ease, too.

When you get to this point, women will feel good around you.

They will be much more willing to open up and connect with you. This level of comfort and confidence is what they’re looking for, and they’ll be able to see it in your body language, eye contact, and conversation. At stage 2 you can do really well with women.

Stage 3 of Cool: Not Giving A Fuck

It appears that some people are born with a cool gene. Nope, they learned it through osmosis from their parents, siblings, friends and social circle at a young age.

You always know who they are because they simply don’t give a fuck about things that aren’t fuckworthy.

In other words, they don’t sweat the small stuff. People who are naturally cool are indifferent about most things; they don’t get excited about ordinary stuff.

On the other hand, geeks are constantly getting uber excited about things that aren’t a big deal.

The guys who developed this stuff early on are usually called “naturals”: they just know what to do at all times, and they don’t give too much of a shit what you think of them.

These guys were typically the tallest, best looking kids in school who also excelled in team sports.

The varsity quarterback wins prom king almost every year right?

For a more scientific look at this, check out this podcast: How The Latest Research On High Performance Applies to Dating/Success With Women.

The Lesson:

Not everyone grows up to be a natural but you can take steps to improve your attractiveness. Let us help you identify which stage of cool you’re in, and make changes to up your game.