If you’ve ever spent any time around a woman, you know the quickest, simplest thing can turn them off like a lightswitch. Just like that, they’re done, from “I love you so much and want to marry you” to “go jump off a cliff, you suck.”
Just like that they can turn off, but why can’t we turn them on just as quickly? Well, you can. We’re here to tell you the trick. The problem is that most men only try to turn on their women when already in the bedroom.
While that is important, it’s just as, if not more, important to turn her on out of the bedroom. You wine and dine her, you’re probably going to go back home to a nice desert. But if you don’t do the dishes after she’s asked three times…I think you can see how that night’s going to end.
Women are like sponges: they take in everything, all of the time. So we’ve put together a list of things with little or no cost that you can do to warm her up during the day, and in turn make for one hot night. Women like originality, so the more personable you can make these, the more points you’re going to score.
- Hug her
Not just a side hug or a light embrace. Hold her tightly, until she ends it. Holding her will remind her you’re her protector and that you’re there to keep her safe. Actually enjoy it, and let her know you appreciate holding her. Bonus points if you can get her to initiate it.
2. Buy her a pair of panties
Buying lingerie seems cliche right? When’s the last time you’ve done it? If you want to go all out, get a matching bra and panty set. If you want to spend a little less, just get a red silk thong, or ask someone to help you pick out a pair at Victoria Secret. The trick to this one is giving it to her at a time when you’re obviously not going to have sex right then and there. Some ideas you could do for this are hiding a box at her house while you’re away, and text her where it is, or giving the box to her at dinner and telling her to go change into them in the bathroom. This gives her a chance to play along with you. (IMPORTANT: Make sure you get the RIGHT size!!!)
3. Whisper into her ear
This one works especially well around people. Tell her how sexy she looks, talk about the underwear you saw her wearing underneath, or tell her all of the things you want to do to her later.
4. Write it out
Write her a card, a note, a poem. Just write her something, anything. There is nothing more genuine than taking the time to write down how you feel about her. Your vulnerability will be so sexy to her. Explain why you love her, or thank her for something she did. This will be something she’s going to keep for a very long time, so put some thought into it. (Hint: this one can be reused over, and over, and over again in many different ways so get creative and switch it up!)
5. A picture is worth a thousand words
Planting a picture of her in your wallet is a really nice gesture, but a little outdated. Posting a picture of her on your social media will make her see how you want to show her off, which is extremely sexy. Another route would be to update your screensaver to a picture of you two, or even send one in a text to her with a message saying what you liked about that day. Bonus points: writing a note on the back of a printed out picture and leaving it for her somewhere.
6. Forget a good night cup of tea
Bring her some hot chocolate to bed, this works as a sexual stimulant for her. Accompany it with some fruit or marshmallows. Turn off the TV and put down the phones for this one. Ask her how her day was, what her favorite memory as a kid was, or something stimulating for her (in other words, just ask her about herself).
7. Trap her
…and kiss her. Push her down on the couch, pin her to the wall or lock her in a room you normally wouldn’t go it like the laundry room or a big closet. Kiss her passionately, and after a minute, leave with a smile on your face. This will drive her crazy wanting more, and will surely leave her weak in her knees. Just be careful not to push her into, or onto, anything that will hurt. This will most likely ruin the vibe you were trying to go for.
8. Surprise! I’m here!
While you may not always want her to show up somewhere out of the blue, if done right, she’ll love it. Show up on her lunch break or while she’s getting ready for an event to drop off some flowers. She’ll be drooling over you the rest of the day. (Bonus points if her friends/family are there as witness)
9. Unlock her
Kiss her ankles, knees, elbows, wrists, and knuckles. These areas often get less attention than others, kissing her in these places will transfer energy to her and in turn, have her come “unhinged”.
10. Forget the roses
Get her a plant that she can keep alive (just don’t tie this plant to the life of your love together, just in case she can’t.) Every time she waters it, she’ll think of you. Plants are great for many reasons. Plants are a natural humidifier, they lower amount of carbon dioxide, can prevent allergies, reduce amount of colds, decrease blood pressure, prevent headaches, negate cigarette smoke, and provide many other species-specific benefits. Not to mention she’ll see it everyday and appreciate you.
Any indoor plant will suffice, unless she has a yard or patio with direct sunlight. If she likes to cook, get her an herb. If you know she can’t keep anything alive, get something that requires little water or attention. Any plant nursery will be happy to help, just tell them your requirements and make sure they tell you the best way to take care of it.
After years of wondering why you gave her a massage and she still doesn’t want to have sex afterwards, I’m happy to share with you this secret. If you’re not romantic out of the bedroom, or wherever your place of choice is, she won’t want to be your kinky little sex freak in the bedroom. Luckily, this mentality of hers isn’t permanent and has the chance to be immediately reversed. Remember, you want to do these things without (seemingly) wanting sex at the moment, the more random and spontaneous you can make these, the better.