friend zone Archives - Inner Confidence

Reader question: How do I escape the friend zone?

A reader asks:

I’m planning out a date with an old casual friend from my hometown, where I’ve been staying for a few months. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and looking forward to dating again.

Background: I’ve somewhat had a crush on her. I always had an older brother-sister frame with her. I want to use this harmless coffee to take a step beyond the friendship dynamic. I know I need to do this very smoothly so there is no weirdness and end up creeping her out. What’s the best way to do this?

You are going about this with the wrong frame of mind. She knows you are both out of a relationship and it’s going to look super telegraphed and desperate on your part if you try to pursue her romantically. You’ll likely fail, look like a huge idiot/douche/loser, and also end up ruining the friendship.

Damaging a long-term friendship for pussy is really dumb because cool, attractive girls will usually have others just like them who they can hook you up with.

You’re much better off going this route and letting her make an obvious move on you if she’s attracted to you. You might think there’s something there in her mind, but you aren’t even close to qualified to make that assessment.

Hang out with her, connect and treat her like a friend. The less sleazy romantic and flirty you are, the better. Treat her like your little sister and bust her balls as you would with a little sister. Attempt to see her another time soon in a group situation. Don’t ask her out on anything that seems like a date.

You’re finally single! Now you can daygame and use the Leverage Program how it’s designed, instead of trying to go for the “seemingly easy layups” with girls from your past. I promise it’s way more difficult than meeting new girls, and the downside severely outweighs the upside when things inevitably turn awkward and jeopardize the friendship.

The bigger picture here is that guys with a scarcity mentality, who haven’t hit on enough women, are the ones who get “friend-zoned.” It’s a result of guys being attracted to a girl but not having the courage to announce their intentions, then when they do girl says “no” and they follow her around hoping she will come around one day. I’m not saying this is the case with you, but guys who do this are dishonest and pathetic.

Don’t pursue every woman you meet. Instead befriend them, THEN YOU ARE PUTTING HER IN THE FRIEND ZONE. Eventually some of the girls you befriend will want to date you, they’ll introduce you to their friends, and your life will be better. Stop saying that stupid phrase “friend zone,” because it’s holding you back. GTFO with this mentality. Make friends, be casual, work hard, have fun, and turn your brain chatter off.

Just build regular normal two-way friendships. If you want a girl, ask her out. If she says no, move on. Voila- all your problems are solved.

Inner Confidence on Elite Daily – 3 Ways To Get Instantly Better At Meeting Women In Public

by Robbie Leave a Comment

In the beginning, we all suck at meeting women in public.

You will likely not be an exception.

Approaching women with no introduction can feel really overwhelming and intimidating to a lot of dudes.

But when you get good at it, your dating and sex life will improve big time.

Why? Because being unafraid in the face of rejection is really f*cking hot, and girls dig it.

You’re Going To Hate This, But Do It Anyway… (read more)

Hot Chicks are Good for Business

by Robbie Leave a Comment

Men love being in the company of beautiful women. It just makes everything that much more fun and interesting.

You will never hear a guy say, “Dude, I’m out, I just don’t want to hang out with more cute girls.”

Having hot chicks around brings me more hot chicks, more important guys, better girlfriends and better business opportunities. The more friends – hot, cool friends – I keep in my company, the higher I stand socially, and the more I enjoy my life.

Whatever line of business you’re currently in, making friends with cute chicks and hanging out with them regularly will always improve business (did she put you in the Friend Zone? Stop bitching about it and read THIS). If I’m casually talking to a potential business associate at the bar and I have a cute girl with me, odds are he will be much more willing to listen to me for three hours so long as I have that girl near me.

See how it works?

The Lesson: Make friends with cute girls and hang out with them a lot. If you stop being afraid of the friend zone, you’ll become the dude other dudes want to know.

Does Your Shirt Fit?

by Robbie Leave a Comment

What size shirt are you wearing right now? I’d be willing to bet that it’s too big and doesn’t flatter you at all.

How do I know that? Because 95% of all guys wear dorky clothes that make them look like they don’t have a clue how to take care of themselves (let alone lead an interaction with a woman).

Dressing well is extremely important to women. A cute girl will look you up and down and decide in two seconds whether you’re worth her time and energy simply based on your choice of apparel (a crew neck in the middle of winter? Please).

One thing you can do right away is buy shirts that actually fit. Studies have shown that women are most attracted to men with broad shoulders; the ideal shoulder to waist ration is 1.6:1.

Even if you don’t have those God-given proportions naturally, you can still trick the eye by wearing tighter clothing that draws attention to your shoulders, making them look bigger. Most men who are generally fit (read: no pot belly) should probably be wearing a size “small” t-shirt.

Why? Because it stretches slightly across the chest and makes you appear larger in your upper body.

The Lesson: Throw away your shirts that are too big. Buy shit that fits. If you need help, click HERE for specific wardrobe tips.

Get personalized, one-on-one coaching in the Inner Confidence Leverage Program. Dude, if you’re wearing the wrong t-shirt now, it’s not gonna get any better on its own.

How to Use the Friend Zone to Your Advantage

by Robbie Leave a Comment

Guys complain to me all the time that they’ve been confined to the friend zone. They think they should be able to bang every girl they meet, and when they get pushed to the friend zone, they whine about it instead of strategically using it to their advantage.

Dudes: STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE FRIEND ZONE.

Here’s the thing, cute chicks hang around cute chicks. If some girl won’t sleep with you but she invites you out with her girls and you become friends, use that to your advantage.

You roll into some bar with six cute girl friends and you’re golden. Not only does this seriously raise your social value to the other hot girls that you’ll meet at the bar, but cool dudes will want to know you who are, too. They’ll want to befriend you, hang out with you, and do business with you.

The Lesson: Don’t try to bang every chick you meet. Meet girls, be cool and make friends. Those chicks will lead to more chicks and those chicks will lead to even more.