Leverage Your Dating & Social Skills
At the end of the day, being dynamic is your greatest sales pitch ever. The end-all, be-all is becoming a man who’s witty, charismatic, driven, spontaneous and grounded. This is the whole package, and women will pretty much do anything to be with a man who’s dynamic.
If you don’t know how to dress, it immediately sends out a signal you’re not dynamic. Continue reading on Elite Daily.
Most of us have heard about peacocking: the idea of wearing an outrageous outfit or set of accessories to get a girl to notice you at a bar.
Traditionally, peacocking might mean wearing black nail polish or goggles or Matrix-style trench coats to get attention.
I’ve even seen dudes dress up in full-on costumes in a lame effort to stand out from the crowd.
They stand out from the crowd, all right.
That method of peacocking might work for some people but for the most part, it’s absolutely ridiculous and makes you look like an idiot more than it gets you laid.
Less is more. The only way I’ve ever peacocked that’s worked has been to wear one thing that’s subtle.
If a girl wants to talk to you and you’re wearing a $20 Swatch watch, she’ll say, “Oh my god! I love your watch…”
This is often her way of communicating, “I think you’re awesome, I want to talk to you.”
And even if she really did just want to compliment you on your watch, you at least have her 1-on-1 attention to win her over.
Subtle peacocking doesn’t scream, “Look at me!” It gives a woman a reason to initiate conversation with you without looking like a slut in front of her friends.
I had a friend who, for an entire year, wore a bright purple fuzzy hat every night. All his buddies gave him shit, but he’d walk into a bar and within a matter of minutes some girl would come up to him and say, “Oh, I love your hat!” She’d start touching it. They’d start talking. And as soon as she put the hat on, he knew who he was taking home that night.
By the way, if a chick takes your clothes, you know she’s into you. It’s a very personal act to put on another person’s clothes. If she puts on your jacket, your sunglasses, your hat, whatever, it’s a sign you’re on the right track.
I got a pin from my buddy that’s a “Fun Meter.”
On the meter, there are three options: Having an OK Time, Having Fun, and AWESOME! I’d put the pin on, set it to whichever dial I felt like, and start talking to people.
I can’t tell you how many women have walked up to me to play with my Fun Meter.
But before you run out to buy a Fun Meter pin or a purple fuzzy hat, remember that your subtle peacock piece has to match your personality.
If you’re the mysterious, brooding type, a Fun Meter is not going to work for you.
Pick something that feels right that you think will invite girls to come talk to you, and then try it out. Some things will work, others won’t.
The Lesson: Peacocking for the sake of peacocking is a waste of time and it makes you look ridiculous. Go for subtlety with the intention of extending an invitation for girls to come talk to you and you’ll see results – if you’re doing everything else right [LINK: The Secret to Being a Social Beast].
The ability to integrate with the cool kids is crucial to being able to attract hot girls.
A lot of people think that “cool” is a group, and when we talk about “cool kids,” it’s slightly misleading. “Cool” is not a group.
It’s a way of being, and there are three stages to it.
This is the most basic level of cool, it’s the entry level.
And when I say “trimmings” I’m talking about your clothes and your physical appearance.
95% of the time, geeks and nerds are wearing clothes that are too big for them and it instantly gives them away as not cool.
Unless you’re a celebrity, millionaire businessman, or you have something else really awesome going for you, you have to dress well to attract girls. If you don’t know how, read this – The Easiest Way to Become More Dynamic.
There’s no excuse for dressing like an idiot.
I guarantee that you will never see a 9 with an out-of-shape, poorly dressed dude unless he’s loaded or has something else going for him.
Go to the gym and get some clothes that actually fit to achieve the most basic stage of cool.
I hate it when I hear guys say, “I just want to meet a nice girl who doesn’t buy into all this ‘cool’ stuff.” Don’t conclude that you can’t have something so therefore you don’t like it.
This is called cognitive dissonance.
No one wants to hang out with a hater! The hottest chicks spend at least an hour a day working out, so you should, too.
If you want to get girls who are fit and smart and have money, you have to dress well and be in shape. Don’t kid yourself.
You can tell if someone’s at stage 2 of cool if you feel comfortable around them. If you feel relaxed, and they put other people at ease, that person is cool.
They have an ability to be a chameleon: they can adapt to any social situation and fit in with any crowd.
More importantly, this person doesn’t make you feel awkward. Geeks make you feel awkward because they are uncomfortable with themselves and emotions are contagious. Cool people who are comfortable with themselves put you at ease, too.
When you get to this point, women will feel good around you.
They will be much more willing to open up and connect with you. This level of comfort and confidence is what they’re looking for, and they’ll be able to see it in your body language, eye contact, and conversation. At stage 2 you can do really well with women.
It appears that some people are born with a cool gene. Nope, they learned it through osmosis from their parents, siblings, friends and social circle at a young age.
You always know who they are because they simply don’t give a fuck about things that aren’t fuckworthy.
In other words, they don’t sweat the small stuff. People who are naturally cool are indifferent about most things; they don’t get excited about ordinary stuff.
On the other hand, geeks are constantly getting uber excited about things that aren’t a big deal.
The guys who developed this stuff early on are usually called “naturals”: they just know what to do at all times, and they don’t give too much of a shit what you think of them.
These guys were typically the tallest, best looking kids in school who also excelled in team sports.
The varsity quarterback wins prom king almost every year right?
For a more scientific look at this, check out this podcast: How The Latest Research On High Performance Applies to Dating/Success With Women.
Not everyone grows up to be a natural but you can take steps to improve your attractiveness. Let us help you identify which stage of cool you’re in, and make changes to up your game.
At the end of the day, being dynamic is the greatest pitch ever. The “be all” and “end all” is becoming a man who’s witty, charismatic, driven, spontaneous and grounded: he’s dynamic.
Being dynamic is the whole package – 360 degrees of awesome — and girls will pretty much do anything to be with a guy who’s dynamic.
If you don’t know how to dress, it immediately sends out a signal that you’re not dynamic. Your appearance is the easiest and fastest way to communicate a message to others as to whether or not you’re worth spending time with.
To a hot chick, if you don’t know how to dress, it means that you probably don’t have cool friends, which means that you probably don’t party much or get laid ever. She’ll make this assessment in a split second and you’re done.
There is only one kind of dude that’s an exception to the universal law of dressing fashionably: he’s someone who’s a rock star in some other part of his life. I have a bunch of MMA buddies, as an example. These guys are white trash. They dress like shit, but they’re badass motherfuckers with 2% body fat and they’ve literally been paid to beat the shit out of people. Chicks are into that.
Another example: if you’re some quasi-famous Silicon Valley millionaire, you’re exempt from this rule. You can dress in a potato sack and chicks will still be all over you since they already know who you are. If they don’t recognize you, well then you’re no better off.
For everyone else, you have to step up your fashion game if you don’t want hot girls to shoot you down instantly.
I had a business partner who was great with girls one-on-one. He was funny, charming and he was solid. But his opening game was zero: he was a total math dork, he was completely bald at 31 and he dressed like shit. I told him all the time that he dressed like shit but he was stubborn as hell and wouldn’t do anything about it.
So we go to a club in the Meatpacking District with a couple of smoke shows I know. We get to the door of this club and the bouncer says to me, “Look, you guys are fine but I can’t let this guy in,” gesturing to my business partner.
I said to the bouncer, “He’s my business partner. You have to let him in.” But he wouldn’t. So this guy missed out on a chance to hang with girls that are much younger and much hotter than most girls he usually hangs out with because he wouldn’t go to Zara or Nordstrom and buy some decent clothes.
If you want to make a change that will make a huge difference, go buy some new clothes. Let’s just be clear: I’m not talking about name brand only. I’ve seen dudes walk in to the room with $350 shoes that look ridiculous. I’m talking about being in style, regardless of the brand name.
Go to Target, Zara, H&M, Nordstrom or wherever and look at what the mannequins are wearing. Most of the time, you can buy those clothes. Get 10 or so outfits and cycle through them in your day-to-day life. It’s not quite that easy but that’s a great start.
Your shirt should gently hug your rib cage; your jeans should angle slightly down toward the floor and lightly hug your quads. Baggy jeans are done – throw away your baggy jeans. They’ve been done forever and they make you look like an idiot. Black shiny, square toed dress shoes make you look like a middle manager loser. Your Kenneth Cole Reactions go in the garbage.
The Lesson: Hot girls don’t date guys that dress like shit unless they’re rock stars in some other area of their lives. Go buy some clothes that fit your body and are in style to give off a more dynamic vibe.
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