Guest post by a Leverage Program moderator Don't let something you can't change become an excuse. I am not a small guy, but I've had a unique experience. I am 5'11 170 pounds, and I am only attracted to tall athletic girls, 5'8-5'11. That means that they're taller than me when they wear heels, so most of the time I meet a woman out, she'll be taller than me. Tall girls have issues about being big, but a 6'5, 240 pound guy makes them feel small. Most women who are 5'8 and up want to date really tall guys so they can feel small in their arms. I am by far the shortest and smallest guy any … [Read more...]
If You Play it Safe You’re Boring
When you look at guys who are great with women, or anyone with peak social awareness, they perform a bunch of smaller actions that add up to an arsenal of social skills. These discrete skills combine to form a killer ability to communicate with others and assertively get what they want. When we’re teaching you to improve your dating life, we focus on a lot. Accumulating as much practice as you can and playing the “numbers game” is part of it. Developing your character is also part of it, and it can seem overwhelming to go from where you are now to the success you really dream of. While … [Read more...]
Do I Need To Be Rich To Date Hot Women?
A lot the teachings of Inner Confidence are how you can use minimalism to be successful in all areas of life. There's a big misconception out there that you need to have money to date women. It's crucial to understand that the only lasting method of having a healthy dating life is to first, develop the characteristics that women find attractive, second, learn how to display those characteristics, and third, put yourself in situations where the kind of women you want to meet will notice you displaying those characteristics. Money can be a signal for traits that women find attractive, like … [Read more...]
5 of the Most Effective Tips for Improving Your Vocal Tonality
Some guys are born with a naturally powerful voice that turns women on. Most guys aren't as fortunate. Some guys have naturally picked up good habits from their peers, friends, and families. Most guys don't put in this kind of effort, but they should. Even professionals like sportscasters have spent hundreds of hours working on their own and with coaches to sound more confident. 1. Open your mouth wider Do you mumble? Open your mouth wider. Do you speak too quickly? Open your mouth wider. Do you speak too softly? Open your mouth wider. This could go on and on, and there's a good … [Read more...]
Why is approaching so important for building confidence?
You've heard me say it over and over, but if you expect to get results and you're not crushing approaches or already dating multiple women, it's just not gonna happen. If you wanna get good at basketball you've gotta take a ton of shots right? You can't expect to show up at the court, stand around with the ball and expect to improve can you? Well, that's what many of you guys are doing, and then whining that you suck and the program isn't working. That line of thinking is actually offensive to guys who have put in the work. Robbie crushed 10k approaches by the time he was in his late … [Read more...]
Reader question: How do I escape the friend zone?
A reader asks: I'm planning out a date with an old casual friend from my hometown, where I've been staying for a few months. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and looking forward to dating again. Background: I've somewhat had a crush on her. I always had an older brother-sister frame with her. I want to use this harmless coffee to take a step beyond the friendship dynamic. I know I need to do this very smoothly so there is no weirdness and end up creeping her out. What's the best way to do this? You are going about this with the wrong frame of mind. She knows you are both out of … [Read more...]
How do I connect with girls on their level?
A common challenge for guys during the process of developing their conversation skills is that they struggle to connect with girls intellectually. But most of the time, this isn't a challenge they realize they're facing, because it expresses itself in other ways. The most common way it shows up is when guys ask "How do I turn my brain off and talk to girls on their level?" or "How do I connect with girls at parties?" This is something I've always had a natural inclination for. I didn't even realize it was a useful skill until I heard a bunch of other guys lamenting about the challenges of … [Read more...]
Why Going to Brazil Made Me Rethink My Life
Guest post by Cory, Leverage Program member I went to Brazil on the Inner Confidence Leverage trip and it changed my life. First, because this is Inner Confidence, I'll talk about the woman of Brazil and my experiences with them. Simply put, I fell in love three times this trip. I met more cooler girls in two weeks in Brazil than during the last year and a half in the states. There are three girls that I am actually upset that I am leaving, and cannot continue the connection that we were able to create. One actually spent most of the day trying to get me to change my flight and stay. All … [Read more...]
Why The Stories You’re Telling Yourself Don’t Help
One of the most popular features of the Leverage Program is that guys post writeups of social experiences and interactions they have, and they get feedback from other members and experts in the group. The best way to get systematic step-by-step advice based on what we know works is to be objective. Both when you're looking at your own life and your own interactions, you need to get specific about behaviors. Here's an excerpt from a writeup of a Leverage Program member recalling an interaction while out at a bar: "She then gets mad at me over something stupid (I went out to check on her … [Read more...]
