I love when someone tells me that something is "simple, but not easy." Many of the best things in life fit this saying. Fitness. Nutrition. Confidence. Meeting women. Day game. These areas have simple rules for success, and then they require hard work applying those rules. Expert performance is the same way. It's simple, but not easy. How simple? The path to becoming an expert can be broken down into three steps that anyone can understand and apply immediately. 1. Focus This doesn't mean a general sense of focus. This is referring to taking a microscope on the skills that comprise … [Read more...]
Why Getting Rejected Is Good…
Why is rejection so scary? Our society does a great job of instilling shame in men. Growing up as kids, and even into our adult lives, we’re told toxic messages that can hold us back for a lifetime. Sometimes this shame originates from the people around us. Our parents or friends tell us these messages explicitly: that guy’s a player and you shouldn’t be like that. Or they could be more subtle messages from the media and movies: in order to get a girl to like you, you need to be nice and submissive. People mean well when they give us this kind of advice. Despite their good intentions, … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Always Be In Style
Women pay attention to your clothing. Your personal style can signal your positive, attractive traits, or it can repel hot women away from you. What's the minimalist, easy way to make sure you always look good? It's simple. Keep items in your wardrobe that will always be in style, and nail down your fundamentals. 1. The White Shirt Any combination of crew-neck/long sleeve or long sleeve/v-neck will work. Make sure you get a few of each style that works for you. White gets dirty easily, and to a woman, there’s nothing worse than meeting a nice guy and not being able to concentrate on … [Read more...]
9 Ways to Create Enough Time and Money for a Quality Dating Life
Recently, I asked for an update from some of my coaching clients in the Leverage Program. I noticed that almost all of the guys who are lagging on the dating front are also worried about their finances. While it’s true that guys often use money as an excuse, I actually do think that it’s hard to get your dating life handled if your finances are also not in order. Financial difficulties are an emotional drain that affects our self-esteem and cause us to project insecurity to everyone around us. The relationship between money and dating is an issue I started to think about in junior … [Read more...]
You Should Dump Your Girlfriend
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting a girl who isn’t really a good fit for you stick around because she prevents you from feeling lonely. We all feel lonely at times. It’s part of the human condition. And for guys who aren’t naturally good with women, it’s normal to feel lonely most or even all of the time. When you start developing your skills, having success is inevitable. You’ll start to get numbers, you’ll start to get dates, you’ll start to make out with women, and you’ll start to sleep with ones you like. Once you start … [Read more...]
If You Play it Safe You’re Boring
When you look at guys who are great with women, or anyone with peak social awareness, they perform a bunch of smaller actions that add up to an arsenal of social skills. These discrete skills combine to form a killer ability to communicate with others and assertively get what they want. When we’re teaching you to improve your dating life, we focus on a lot. Accumulating as much practice as you can and playing the “numbers game” is part of it. Developing your character is also part of it, and it can seem overwhelming to go from where you are now to the success you really dream of. While … [Read more...]
Inner Confidence on Elite Daily: Yes, Women Actually Do Pay A Lot Of Attention To The Way You’re Dressed
At the end of the day, being dynamic is your greatest sales pitch ever. The end-all, be-all is becoming a man who’s witty, charismatic, driven, spontaneous and grounded. This is the whole package, and women will pretty much do anything to be with a man who’s dynamic. If you don’t know how to dress, it immediately sends out a signal you’re not dynamic. Continue reading on Elite Daily. … [Read more...]
Do you agree too much?
A common mistake that guys who don't have well-developed social skills make is that they are too agreeable. They don't want to tell girls no. They don't want to make polarizing statements. They'd rather go with the flow than rock the boat. They avoid controversy. At first glance, this seems like it's a good idea. If you aren't a social genius or a beast with women, why take a risk that has a chance of hurting a relationship or creating tension? Here's the problem: when you're in the middle, you're vanilla. You need to be polarizing to be attractive to people. You need to filter some … [Read more...]
Why is approaching so important for building confidence?
You've heard me say it over and over, but if you expect to get results and you're not crushing approaches or already dating multiple women, it's just not gonna happen. If you wanna get good at basketball you've gotta take a ton of shots right? You can't expect to show up at the court, stand around with the ball and expect to improve can you? Well, that's what many of you guys are doing, and then whining that you suck and the program isn't working. That line of thinking is actually offensive to guys who have put in the work. Robbie crushed 10k approaches by the time he was in his late … [Read more...]
How do I connect with girls on their level?
A common challenge for guys during the process of developing their conversation skills is that they struggle to connect with girls intellectually. But most of the time, this isn't a challenge they realize they're facing, because it expresses itself in other ways. The most common way it shows up is when guys ask "How do I turn my brain off and talk to girls on their level?" or "How do I connect with girls at parties?" This is something I've always had a natural inclination for. I didn't even realize it was a useful skill until I heard a bunch of other guys lamenting about the challenges of … [Read more...]
