How to Turn Her on Outside of the Bedroom
If you’ve ever spent any time around a woman, you know the quickest, simplest thing can turn them off like a lightswitch.
Just like that, they’re done, from “I love you so much and want to marry you” to “go jump off a cliff, you suck.”
Just like that they can turn off, but why can’t we turn them on just as quickly?
Well, you can. We’re here to tell you the trick. The problem is that most men only try to turn on their women when already in the bedroom.
While that is important, it’s just as, if not more, important to turn her on out of the bedroom if you want to improve her sex drive and your sex life..
Picture this... You just wined and dined her at a fancy restaurant and now you’re probably going to go back home to a nice desert. But you forgot to do the dishes after she’s asked three times…
I think you can see how that night’s going to end.
Women are like sponges: they take in everything, all of the time. So we’ve put together a list of things with little or no cost that you can do to warm her up during the day, and in turn make for one hot night. Women like originality, so the more personable you can make these, the more points you’re going to score.
1. Hug her
Not just a side hug or a light embrace. Hold her tightly, even pick her up. Holding her will remind her you’re her protector and that you’re there to keep her safe. The physical tough will stimulate sexual arousal. Actually enjoy it, and let her know you appreciate holding her. Bonus points if you can get her to initiate it. The more masculine she perceives it, the better sex you will have with her. When you pick her up and hug her it will stimulate her erogenous zones. It's one of the biggest turn ons. Just doing this once a day can really turn around a lackluster sex life.
2. Buy her a pair of panties
This is a major turn on. Buying lingerie seems cliche right? When’s the last time you’ve done it? If you want to go all out, get a matching bra and panty set. If you want to spend a little less, just get a red silk thong, or ask someone to help you pick out a pair at Victoria Secret.
The trick to this one is giving it to her at a time when you’re obviously not going to have sex right then and there. Some ideas you could do for this are hiding a box at her house while you’re away, and text her where it is, or giving the box to her at dinner and telling her to go change into them in the bathroom. This gives her a chance to play along with you.
(IMPORTANT: Make sure you get the RIGHT size!!!)
3. Whisper into her ear
This can be a huge turn on and works especially well around people. Tell her how sexy she looks, talk about the underwear you saw her wearing underneath, or tell her all of the things you want to do to her later. It creates a lot of sexual tension and sexual desire if done properly because it simulates dirty talk even though the content of what you're saying may not be dirty at all..
4. Write it out
Write her a card, a note, a poem. Just write her something, anything. There is nothing more genuine than taking the time to write down how you feel about her. Your vulnerability will be so sexy to her. Explain why you love her, or thank her for something she did. Make sure you say this while making powerful eye contact and giving her physical touch. This will be something she’s going to keep for a very long time, so put some thought into it. (Hint: this one can be reused over, and over, and over again in many different ways so get creative and switch it up!)
5. A picture is worth a thousand words
Planting a picture of her in your wallet is a really nice gesture, but a little outdated. Posting a picture of her on your social media will make her see how you want to show her off, which is extremely sexy. Another route would be to update your screensaver to a picture of you two, or even send one in a text to her with a message saying what you liked about that day. Bonus points: writing a note on the back of a printed out picture and leaving it for her somewhere.
6. Forget a good night cup of tea
Bring her some hot chocolate to bed, this works as a sexual stimulant for her. Accompany it with some fruit or marshmallows. Turn off the TV and put down the phones for this one. Ask her how her day was, what her favorite memory as a kid was, or something stimulating for her (in other words, just ask her about herself).
7. Trap her…and kiss her.
Push her down on the couch, pin her to the wall or lock her in a room you normally wouldn't go it like the laundry room or a big closet. Kiss her passionately, and after a minute, leave with a smile on your face. This will drive her crazy wanting more, and will surely leave her weak in her knees. Just be careful not to push her into, or onto, anything that will hurt. This will most likely ruin the vibe you were trying to go for. Bonus if you do this in a different place than usual. This is really gonna lead to sexual arousal and blood flow to the erogenous zones.
8. Surprise! I’m here!
While you may not always want her to show up somewhere out of the blue, if done right, she’ll love it. Show up on her lunch break or while she’s getting ready for an event to drop off some flowers. She’ll be drooling over you the rest of the day. (Bonus points if her friends/family are there as witness)
9. Unlock her
Kiss her ankles, knees, elbows, wrists, and knuckles. These areas often get less attention than others, kissing her in these places will transfer energy to her and in turn, have her come “unhinged”. Women who experience this regularly experience a higher degree of sexual satisfaction.
10. Forget the roses
Get her a plant that she can keep alive (just don't tie this plant to the life of your love together, just in case she can’t.) Every time she waters it, she’ll think of you. Plants are great for many reasons. Plants are a natural humidifier, they lower amount of carbon dioxide, can prevent allergies, reduce amount of colds, decrease blood pressure, prevent headaches, negate cigarette smoke, and provide many other species-specific benefits. Not to mention she’ll see it everyday and appreciate you. It's these everyday life little things that can make a big difference in your long term relationship and lead to the best sex.
Any indoor plant will suffice, unless she has a yard or patio with direct sunlight. If she likes to cook, get her an herb. If you know she can’t keep anything alive, get something that requires little water or attention. Any plant nursery will be happy to help, just tell them your requirements and make sure they tell you the best way to take care of it.
After years of wondering why you gave her a massage and she still doesn't want to have sex afterwards, I’m happy to share with you this secret.
If you’re not romantic out of the bedroom, or wherever your place of choice is, she won’t want to be your kinky little sex freak in the bedroom. Luckily, this mentality of hers isn’t permanent and has the chance to be immediately reversed. Remember, you want to do these things without (seemingly) wanting sex at the moment, the more random and spontaneous you can make these, the better.
Hare are the top 10 biggest turn offs for women.
What to do next:
Reading this blog is a good first step to understanding female psychology, but most guys get caught in analysis paralysis mode by actually studying too much online content. It’s way more effective to study content that is custom tailored to your specific sticking points than reading random articles and watching self help videos. Men fall into three distinct buckets on their journey to attraction mastery.
Bucket 1 - Attraction Aspirant: You don’t consistently generate attraction. You might find yourself in a pattern where dates are rare, and when they do happen, they seldom lead to deeper connections or second dates. You’re conscious about your spending, wary of being perceived wrongly, and perhaps your style doesn’t quite express who you truly are.
Bucket 2 - Chase Changer: You generate attraction but you find yourself chasing the women you really want instead of getting them to chase you. You are uncertainty in making bold moves. While you're attractive and successful, translating that into dating confidence, especially with high-value women, remains a challenge. Self-sabotage and hesitancy can often be the barrier between you and the dating success you seek.
Bucket 3 - Selective Strategist: You find dating and initiating connections relatively easy, but the challenge lies in attracting those who truly excite and inspire you. It's about understanding the subtle dynamics of high-value dating and leveraging your strengths to create not just any connection but the right one.
To see which bucket you fail into and to get a tailored action plan to improve, answer these 10 quick questions.