The Daygame Protocol
Your Ultimate Guide to Approaching Women in Any Situation – Solo or in Groups!
Topics:
1. Your Mindset
2. The Physical Approach
3. Eye Contact / Body Positioning
4. What to Say
5. The Conversation
6. Getting Her Number
7. Following Up Via Text
You’ll learn to use the situation and the environment to your advantage so you can come up with the perfect words without having to over think. As you practice these skills, women will react with smiles, laughter and attraction. This is specific to daygame approaches, but 90% of the concepts apply to all approaches and most social interaction in general. If you are not getting attraction, solid phone numbers, flakes and/or weak reactions during your interactions, this should give you insight into why.
Your Mindset
You’re about to learn all the latest and greatest tactics for approaching but none of them will work if your mind isn’t right. You are a man, it is your job to create the life you want and no one is going to hand it to you. That includes actively pursuing women. There are two main reasons why you should hit on as many beautiful women during the day as possible.
To free yourself from social anxiety.
To get dates… Duh!
Number two goes without saying but number one is the most important thing you will read in this article. If you feel any shame, embarrassment or guilt about hitting on women, that will come across in all of your interactions and communication. If you talk to a woman and she can tell you are nervous and awkward, she will feel nervous and awkward as well.
Emotions are contagious.
Becoming successful with women requires a process of building a series of overlapping habits: good conversational habits, habits for expressing your sexuality, creating a habit of acting despite your anxiety, a habit of teasing and making jokes, a habit of dressing well, etc.
All of these habits require two things:
Conscious Practice
Time
The only way to kill your social anxiety is to make daygame a habit and approach until you no longer really care what people think of you. Don’t get me wrong, you want to make the best impression possible and be responsible and aware of how you are perceived, but if you communicate with women in a way that shows you are interested, yet being carefree and casual, it will make you look incredibly attractive. The less you give a shit, the more confident you will appear.
If you haven’t hit on a lot of women, you’re going to get rejected a lot. Not because the techniques you’ll learn below don’t work, (in fact they are the best you will find anywhere) but due to the fact that you will undoubtedly be nervous, fidgety, cotton-mouthed, awkward, quiet, meek and embarrassed if you haven’t overcome social anxiety.
In our community we setup monthly approach competitions, pair guys up with wingmen of similar skill level and encourage everyone to go out and bust through social/approach anxiety.
We make it a game, share stories, and laugh about these ridiculous encounters and the girls who think we’re lame. It turns an otherwise negative and miserable experience into a positive, fun environment for pushing your comfort zone and breaking free from the rest of the losers who walk through life fearing that someone will think badly of them. That is no way to live life! Oh and a large percentage of the time, our clients seduce some jaw-dropping women to boot.
When I see a girl that really makes my head turn, I consider it an injustice to NOT talk to her. Who am I to deprive her of the opportunity to fall in love with an awesome guy who can make her incredibly happy? I don’t care if she’s on the phone, jogging with headphones or with 5 of her friends.
My goal for every approach is primarily to entertain and humor myself, secondarily to make a connection and get her number. As you put in reps, you’ll have more fun and get better and better results. But if you’re goal is simply to collect as many numbers as possible, you’ll fail miserably and you won’t have any fun. Focus on fun and remember that your mindset is always the most important piece of the puzzle.
Step 1: The Physical Approach
If she is moving – use the Hook ‘n Swoop™. If she is standing– walk up directly in front of her. If she is sitting, approach her while standing up and sit down if you get a good reaction. Don’t ask if you can sit, her positive reaction is your green light. If there isn’t a chair, get one from a table near by after her positive reaction.
Step 2: The Opener
Say “Hey” loud enough so there is no question whether or not you are addressing her. Once she makes eye contact with you, hold it with a half smile and count “one-one thousand, two” in your head. This second and a half of eye contact will build sexual tension and pack in more punch for your opener:
“So… I saw you (doing whatever it is she is doing), and I had to risk embarrassing the hell out of myself to flirt with you.”
Deliver this with a lot of energy, a big smile, talk loud and slow, emphasize the “hell” and have the attitude that what you’re doing is silly but that you just had to do it. You never have to worry about this line coming across as fake or canned because you are simply explaining exactly what you’re doing while be unashamed about it.
As you get more experienced and comfortable approaching, you can deviate from this line by adding in more detail and exaggerating and absurdifying the fact that you’re hitting on her. I call this process “The Play-by-Play Opener” because you’re announcing what you’re doing like John Madden would announce a football play in real time. An example would be: “So… I saw you walking from across the street and I just dodged traffic and risked my life to run across the street and flirt with you.”
Step 3: Watch Her Reaction & Introduce Yourself
The reaction you are looking for is laughing and smiling. If she immediately starts laughing before you even finish the opener, you know she is attracted to you. If she reacts like this but responds by saying that she is taken (boyfriend or married) odds are she is telling the truth. If she reacts by immediately saying she is taken, say “have a nice day” and walk away.
If she doesn’t instantly give you the boyfriend/married response, follow up by introducing yourself and shaking her hand. Say “Hi, I’m _____” extend your hand and pause for her to introduce herself. If she says nothing, keep holding her hand and say “and you are?”
Step 4: Call It Out
Approaching women in a direct way in non-social environments will always make you look slightly weird, and you run the risk of coming across as creepy. Your job is to make her feel at ease and you can do that by calling out what she is most likely thinking. My favorite line which gets a laugh almost every time is “I swear… I’m only like a third creepy.”
You can also substitute the word creepy for weird. You’re looking for another laugh. I use this line whether she gives me a good reaction or not. If I get back to back laughs from the opener and this follow up line, I know she is feeling me and if I get a weak reaction from the opener but a laugh after this line, I know she is warming up to me.
If she doesn’t laugh at the opener, or the follow up line its safe to assume that she isn’t feeling attracted to me or she is just really shy and uncomfortable with the whole situation. In this scenario, I use one more witty line to call out the awkwardness. Look her in the eye with a mischievous smile and say “You’re giving me that look.” She will say “what look?” or look at me confused.
I will respond with “You know… that look you give someone when you want them to go jump off a bridge.” This in essence calls out the fact that she feels nothing for you in an exaggerated and absurd way. If this doesn’t make her laugh, say “I’ll take the hint, have a nice day.” Smile and be off. Worst case scenario is you that you left on your own terms without looking stupid or foolish.
Step 5: The Transition Statement
If you’ve made it this far, it’s time to switch gears and build a connection with her. It is important to lower the energy level here and switch into normal conversation mode so you appear as a laid back and confident guy who doesn’t really give a fuck. If you seem like you care too much, you’ll look desperate.
If you continue making jokes you run the risk of looking too gamey and like you’re trying too hard. At this point of the conversation she’s at least somewhat into you, and you’re going to want to come across as cool and collected so as to not scare her off. Inquire about her current state of affairs. If she is walking I usually ask “So, where’d you come from and where are you going?” If she is sitting or standing I usually ask “So what are you up to today?”
And if she is doing something obvious like shopping I usually ask “So what are you shopping for today?” This transition statement leads the conversation into a normal human exchange and then you’ll have the opportunity to ask questions, and connect over commonalities and mutual interests.
Step 6: Connecting & The Emotional Roller Coaster
Here is a formula for asking or answering standard questions. What do you do? Where are you from? What do you do for fun? etc
Asking:
"Where are you from? Wait let me guess..."
Then you can give two options, which makes them answer in a way that isn't simply yes or no, such as:
"You look like you're from somewhere exotic, like Italy or Colombia?"
Or you can give a funny guess, say if they are blonde and blue eyed, you can say:
"You look like you're from Nigeria."
For asking what she does, I like to guess something that I find attractive in women. For me, I find it hot if a girl is a doctor, or lawyer, or architect etc. So I often guess doctor. This subtly shows that people with those careers are in my world. If instead, I guessed nurse, and she's a doctor, then she's already looking down at me, as she thinks nurses are more my level. If I say doctor, and she's a nurse, she's already looking up to me.
Giving:
If she asks any of those questions, the formula is:
Give funny answer. Something ridiculous is good. I used to say I am a lap dancer, that I work the nursing homes, and give lap dances to grannies, and send them off to heaven with a smile on their face. Robbie pointed out that it is risky to give a sexual answer, so instead gave an example of a taxidermist, making trophies for hunters of big game to stick on their wall. Then when they look shocked, say "Stop it. I'm only kidding, what kind of asshole would do that." I changed it to be even more ridiculous, and say hunters of koalas, wombats, and dolphins.
Then say you're only joking, and give the real answer.
Give a story of why you ended up with that career. What drove you to do it. What was the passion. You want this to ideally be a DHV or sweet moving story or how you overcame something, and definitely not a DLV. I really need to work on this myself, as I don't have a great story, but I do talk about how I like software for it being maths, logic, and super creative.
If she is not attracted to you, you will find that her answers are short, curt and she will not be asking you questions in return.
However, if she is attracted she will be eager to do most of the talking and if you can get her asking you questions and seeking rapport, it puts you in the driver’s seat. Your job is to ask the right questions, respond intelligently and with wit and find things to relate to her. If you are an interesting, dynamic and worldly guy, this process will be much easier.
If you have no social life, you’re not well traveled, you have a poor understanding of pop culture and current events, and you lack the ability to showcase the different aspects of your personality, you will struggle to connect with people. This will cause conversation to stall out, awkwardness will ensue and she will lose attraction for you.
Conversely, you know you are really making a connection if you find something in common and the conversation suddenly feels like its taken on a life of it’s own. The conversation will feel easy and natural and you won’t have to do much thinking all. This process can happen within a couple minutes but for a daygame approach, you’re not looking to have a long conversation on a sidewalk or in line at a coffee shop.
Step 7: End The Conversation and Leave On Your Accord With Her Phone Number or Instagram
In life, the person who walks away from something of value shows that they have options and this makes them appear more attractive. Odds are you both will have things to do and you won’t have time for a long conversation. So once you find and briefly explore a connection point, end the interaction yourself by saying “I’d love to keep chatting but I’ve gotta run.”
I never ask for numbers, I tell girls to give it to me. The same goes for dates which we explain with the concept of “Tell Her Out” in our Texting Guide. The number exchange is another potential situation for awkwardness. I combat that with this line. “Give me your number, and if you don’t like me give me fake one.” (say this will handing her your phone) I’ve used this line hundreds of times and never gotten a fake number. I’ve also gotten a laugh 99.9% of the time.
Full Example: One Girl
Instant Dates:
If the girl seems really keen on talking and isn’t giving you any physical signs that she is in rush to leave, its optimal to take her on an instant date. In the example below you’ll see how I do it.
Examples: Approaching Groups of Girls
The only thing that changes when you hit on a group of girls is that you may need to enroll the one you aren’t going for as your wingman. Tweak the opener by saying “I had to risk embarrassing the hell out of myself in front of your friend(s) to flirt with you.” Usually at this point, the friend(s) will give you space but if they linger you should include them in the conversation by introducing yourself and say:
“Clearly I’m outnumbered here so I need you to be my wingman so your friend falls in love with me. I’m expecting big things from you, can you make it happen for me wingman? :)”
It depends on which girl is engaging more but ideally you focus your attention on whichever is more receptive and giving you positive feedback. Often the wingman will be when you hit her with the line cuz you’ll get a laugh and compliance. Then you can essentially ignore the girl you like and just prompt the wingman to make fun of her:
“So what do I need to know about her, does she snore, hog food, steal your crushes? How many red flags am I dealing with here?”
…or something silly like that. This way everyone has fun and feels included. If you don’t do this, the girl who isn’t being hit on will feel left out and she might cock-block you.
Examples: