Guest
I am not a small guy, but I’ve had a unique experience. I am 5’11 170 pounds, and I am only attracted to tall athletic girls, 5’8-5’11. That means that they’re taller than me when they wear heels, so most of the time I meet a woman out, she’ll be taller than me.
Tall girls have issues about being big, but a 6’5, 240 pound guy makes them feel small. Most women who are 5’8 and up want to date really tall guys so they can feel small in their arms.
I am by far the shortest and smallest guy any of my girlfriends has ever dated- they always went very far out of their way to let me know this. I dated a girl who was engaged to a professional baseball player who was 6’5. Another ex was dating a minor league hockey player before me. This dude was the Incredible Hulk. And another ex dated a guy on a college football team who was like 6’6, 230lbs, 8% body fat. Her ex before that played major league baseball.
My current girlfriend, who is the shortest girl I’ve dated in 13 years, was a godsend. She is just under 5’6, so surely she would appreciate how tall I am. Nope! Her ex was 6’8 played pro tennis, and ex before that was 6’3 model.
If you guys think you are somehow in a different boat than me, you are wrong. 5’0-5’5 girls are not an option for me because I’m not attracted to them. That leaves me 5’6-6’0 girls.
By and large 5’11 to 6’0 girls aren’t gong to be into me, so that leaves me 4 inches worth of girls to pull from (remember that 5’9 and 5’10 girls want 6’2+ guys).
I’m in your boat because I’m the “little guy” trying to pull chicks who want much larger guys, so I know what it’s like hitting on taller women. How do I combat this?
Personality. I’m charismatic and confident. Every single girl I’ve ever dated at one point or another has said “I feel so safe with you.” Anyone who knows me knows that I have very clear boundaries and I’ll let people know the second they cross them. I think this is what makes the girls feel like I’m strong and they feel protected (which they all say).
Add in some interesting stories, some mentor game, charisma, appear to be a hot commodity, make sure that there’s nothing visual about you that’s repellent, and suddenly the height factor vanishes.
They don’t see your height. They see your other positive attributes.
My buddy Jeremy is 5’6 and doesn’t have a Napoleon Complex. He is chill and easygoing, but he has a stern voice and it’s clear that if he is pushed he’ll let you know to stop. He has consistently pulled girls his height and taller, and this is what he had to say on the subject:
Although height can be an important factor in attraction, it mainly comes down to protection and feeling safe. That has to do with attitude and confidence. Not attitude in a douchey way, but you need to show you’re somebody who is not a pushover. When you stand up for a girl or someone else in a vulnerable position, women find it incredibly sexy.
Here is what another shorter friend had to say:
I am just over 5’7, I just look even shorter because I’m always hanging out with taller guys. Attitude is everything, but that does not mean being a Napoleon. A lot of shorter guys have SFC (short fucker complex) and try to overcompensate, which only makes it even more clear that you are not confident.
>Women feel safe when they know that you are confident and that you will protect them if necessary, but not when they feel like you go over the top to prove that you’re a man because you’re short. I have very clear boundaries and if you cross them, you’ll be let known in a stern way that exudes confidence but not compensation. I always get the “I feel safe with you” which is simply a function of confidence.
Yes, I consistently pull 5’8 or 5’9 chicks who are much taller than me when in heels. I have to make up for that with personality, charisma, and be more fun and interesting than the taller guys. It is a disadvantage, but if there’s one thing a girl loves more than anything, it’s having fun and laughing. I also think power plays into it too.
If you hang out with the mods in Leverage, you can instantly see that most of the guys in our group can turn the lights on in a room with the air of confidence, power, and charisma. Robbie speaks in front of large groups of people, and you can feel that energy when he walks into a room. There is a level of confidence that communicates you are powerful to a woman. It’s not necessarily what you do for a living, but how you feel about it and how you portray yourself. Find your strengths and leverage them.
So there you have it guys. Height can be a disadvantage, but it’s certainly something that you can overcome by developing your personality and positive attributes.
smithy89 says
January 29, 2020 at 3:36 PMPlease tell me this is supposed to be ironic, because if starting an article with “Don’t let something you can’t change become an excuse,” immediately followed by “I am only attracted to tall … girls,” isn’t irony I’m seriously concerned for the wellbeing of any women who come into contact with the man who wrote this lmao
Rick Levin says
March 16, 2020 at 8:18 AMCame across this blog trying to understand my recent attraction to a certain woman. As a male considered good looking being reasonably tall 6’2” having become involved with a beautiful woman age appropriate who is 6’6” and yes our height difference has and does come up, however it’s very obvious this drop dead gorgeous woman towers over me and when she wears heels it becomes even more exaggerated and actually seems to draw us even closer together as we are both soo into each other no matter what others think or say. I think what I am saying is, it’s just height only taller woman, with tall guy.
Robbie says
March 16, 2020 at 9:08 AMAgreed!
Robbie says
April 2, 2020 at 5:01 PMYou guys sound like a cool couple.
Jason Wakefield says
May 31, 2020 at 2:22 PMHey I didn’t know I had to be one of the three musketeers or is it four to
date a taller woman and she would be
comfortable. I am like 6’1” my present significant other is like 6’ and she just got these ridiculous 7” heels and will be wearing them with my blessings.
Anthony Hawley says
June 3, 2020 at 8:51 AMThis blog kinda gave me a chuckle as a tall guy 6’3” involved with a beautiful woman who is 6’1” usually i’m taller and on numerous occasions she’ll wear these ridiculous 6” heels and in all honesty she looks fabulous and I have absolutely no problem in this position and in fact she likes relishes being taller and I guess going back and forth with our height differences seems to really keep our love, bond and appreciation for one another, no matter what others might think very strong,
Robbie says
June 3, 2020 at 9:37 AMHaha good stuff Anthony…
Allen Stephens says
September 13, 2020 at 11:08 AMI found this interesting blog while looking for a therapist. As a reasonably tall guy 6’2” really never thought much about height until recently meeting this very attractive and tall woman who is 6’6”. I to some extent find myself being uncomfortable when standing and she’s looking down on me and I have to be looking up in order to converse and then on occasions she goes with the heels and it become totally humiliating and everything says I am not to bring up how tall/taller she is.
I would like to know how she really feels or is she just settling?
Robbie says
September 14, 2020 at 3:55 AMDidn’t you read the article? She doesn’t care at all! In fact that taller she looks the more you should compliment her on how you love her height and how sexy it is because there is a good chance she is insecure about it and your reassurance will make her feel good.
Mark Gunn says
October 10, 2020 at 1:14 PMI will confirm lack of height can be a disadvantage, however a big bankroll is and can be the equalizer and case in point as a good looking guy 5’8” and my present significant other is a gorgeous leggy brunette a towering 6’1” add another 4” for her choice of shoes and does anyone think for a minute if I didn’t provide her a condo and car and extras this beautiful woman would be with a guy who comes below her boobs no matter how good looking he is??
Robbie says
October 10, 2020 at 2:41 PMI’m sure your personality factors in too 😉
Alex Jaramillo says
October 18, 2020 at 8:56 AMInteresting blog and as a male a little short of stature being 5’7” in a relationship with a very attractive woman who is 5’11” and from the day we met indicated she was very attracted to me and she said never mention the height difference or tell me not to wear heels and honestly she has some taller women friends and her sister who is like 6’3” and they seem to bring it up as others all the time and it only brings us closer together.
Jack Evans says
October 25, 2020 at 9:51 AMI never really thought much about height being a male 6’3” and a little past middle age until recently meeting this very attractive age appropriate stunningly tall 6’9” woman. In a way we are like two teenagers with brains, i’ll leave it at that.
Robbie says
October 25, 2020 at 7:33 PM6’9?!?! Holy smokes that’s a giant. Does she play in the WNBA?