7 Week Action Plan
Week 1: Foundational Principles

Lesson 4: The Confidence Alignment Grid

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  • Study Internal Alignment below…

Internal Alignment - Your Fundamental Action Mindset.

Depending on how much time you’ve spent studying seduction techniques and theory, you’re primary way of being is one of these four categories:

  1. Procrastinating

  2. Winging

  3. Scripting

  4. Having

Similarly to your External Alignment, you probably don’t perfectly occupy just one box.  

When I started I was operating in a Procrastination state.  After reading the book “The Game” I was inspired to take action and my state of being switched to Winging.  After months of lackluster results, I decided to study and take this stuff really serious (Too serious), and I entered a Scripting state.  

It was able to shift into a Having state when I started operating from an alignment place. 

Procrastinating

If you answer “Yes” to most of these questions then you are probably a Procrastinator.

  • On your priority list, your love/dating/sex life is always secondary to more important things. 

  • You occasionally go out and when you do, you rarely talk to strangers.

  • You’d like to date more but you’re not sure how to get started.

  • If you see a woman you find attractive you find an excuse why NOT to talk to her. 

The Procastinator is basically exactly what you would expect.  

This type of guy takes no action at all and tells himself that he’ll do it later, when the time is right.  

He is unsure of how to approach social situations so he simply doesn’t approach them at all.  He waits for people to come to him and he usually waits a long time…

Procrastinators always have an excuse or a reason why not to take action.  If they see a woman they want to approach they’ll hesitate and tell themselves things like:

  • She probably has a boyfriend anyway.

  • I’m too busy to talk right now.

  • I don’t know what to say so I better not do it.

  • What if all these other people think I’m weird?

  • I better not because I don’t want to look like a fool.

  • I don’t have time for women right now, I need to focus on my career.

  • Dating shouldn’t be something I have to try at, it should just happen.

The list is endless!  We can always think of a great excuse! 

The Procrastinator’s Fundamental Mindset is Waiting.  

Waiting – This is a state of procrastination. It’s like you’re planning and planning but never implementing or taking action.  Procrastinators are often optimistic but this optimism can actually be dangerous because sadly, unless you take action and move forward, nothing ever changes.  People can remain in a waiting state for years, experiencing intense regret near the end of their lives. The reason they stay this way is because the pain never gets quite intense enough to motivate them to move out of it.  Procrastination is a passive form of self-sabotage.

The remedy for a person stuck in waiting is pretty obvious: Make a decision and take the next step. You can use my Formula For Confidence(TM) to shift out of a Forcing state, into a Having state.  Or you could continue to wait…

Winging

If you answer “Yes” to most of these questions then you are probably a Winger.

  • You have spent less then 10 hours studying seduction techniques and theory.

  • You go into conversations with attractive women without a plan.

  • You don’t like the idea of “scripting” a conversation.

  • You have invested less then $50 on improving your ability to attract women.

  • You see beautiful women that you would like to meet but have no idea what to say to start the conversation or keep it going.

  • You feel anxiety when you think about approaching her.

The biggest question that the Wingers have is “What do I say and how do I get her attracted to me?”

Most men have no idea how to communicate with women.

When we find ourselves toe to toe with a beautiful girl, most of us get tongue-tied.  When we get tongue-tied we typically default into our standard operating procedure.

I like to call this operating procedure the “Boring Job Interview Mode.”

See if you can relate to this scenario:

You’re at a bar for happy hour with one of your buddies. He catches you checking out a sexy and well put-together brunette and starts goading you into approaching her. “Come on, don’t be a wuss!” He says. You’d rather crash and burn then look like a wimp in your friend’s eyes so you walk over with no idea what you’re gonna say. You don’t walk over with confidence, you walk over with anxiety and it feels like you are walking into the lion’s den. You get there and blurt something out.

It’s typically one of these statements:

    * “Hi… Uhhh, do you come here often?”

    * “Hey… so you out drinking tonight?”

    * “Hi… how you doing?”

She responds with one of these statements:

    * “Hi, not really.”

    * “Yup… I’m drinking.”

So you follow it up with one of these statements:

    * “So where are you from?”

    * “What do you do for a living?”

    * “Do you live around here?”

She gives you one-word answers and you continue to ask boring job interview questions because it’s the only thing you can think of.  Eventually, you run out of questions to ask or she excuses herself.  

The Winger’s Fundamental Mindset is Hoping.    

Hoping: Wingers often burn themselves out. When you are a in hoping state, things never come together as quickly or easily as they should. The Winger’s response is to take more or different action. This only results in pushing away what you want even further. The hoper can see the carrot, but no matter how hard they try, it’s just out of reach. The result is exhaustion and frustration and the feeling that “Something must be wrong with me!”

The remedy for a person stuck in hoping is to start taking action that is in alignment with your truth rather than focusing on the outcome. Stop doing things over and over again while expecting a different result. 

Scripting

If you answer “Yes” to some of these statements you are probably a Scripter.

  • You rely on routines or openers to start conversations with women that hook them in.

  • You use stories, questions, role plays, patterns and various conversational threads to keep the conversation interesting.

  • You use techniques to lower a woman’s value to even the playing field in hopes that she begins to qualify and prove herself to you.

  • You ask qualification questions designed to goad a woman into qualifying herself to you or proving to you that she is worthy of dating you.

  • You run routines for escalating physically and methods for touching women in a way that leads to comfort, attraction and sex.

  • You employ tactics to deal with an Alpha Male who may be trying to make you look like a fool or attempting to steal the girls you are trying to pickup.

  • You use hypnotic patterns to convince a woman who has a boyfriend to pursue you anyway.

  • You use hypnotic patterns and techniques to deal with her resistance to sleep with you.

If you’ve studied seduction theory, then you are probably very familiar with the terminology and techniques above.  

Some of the techniques may be a little bit manipulative or deceptive but at the end of the day, most of the men using them are really great guys who want a better life and how could you blame them for that? 

Do these techniques work for scripting a conversation?  The answer is, Sometimes.

If they help you to draw out your natural attractive personality and you have fun using them, they will work.

If you are using them to compensate and cover up feelings of insecurity, fear, anxiety, and social phobias, then they will usually fail.  Here is why:

There is a very technical term for this phenomenon, called “Whipped Cream on Shit.”

If you teach a shy, insecure, or unconfident man the greatest pickup technique in the world, its not going to work very often, because behind the words associated with the technique, she will be able to see his true level of confidence.

These factors are going to give him away:

* His Body Language

* Tonality

* Vibe/Energy

All of these factors are communicating that he is shy, insecure, and unconfident when he delivers the technique to a woman.

An extensive study conducted by Professor Dr. Albert Mehrabian at UCLA concluded that communication is 93% non-verbal. Words make up 7%, body language accounts for 55%, and tonality accounts for 38% of what is being communicated from one person to another.

Attractive women are experts are spotting B.S. because they deal with guys hitting on them poorly on a daily basis. The guy using techniques may be able to fake it once or twice but its not going to take long until she smells the shit under that whipped cream, and walks away. So when you only focus on the techniques everything you do is agenda based. And when women can sense that you have an agenda while interacting with them, they will usually be extremely turned off.

If you are in your head analyzing, plotting the next routine, “calibrating” the situation, then women will have a hard time feeling you. If they can’t feel you they can’t get attracted to you or trust you. I’ve watched thousands of men struggle for years to become successful pickup artists. Very few actually made it and the ones that did, got bored of playing the game and decided that they wanted something deeper with the women they met.

The Scripter’s fundamental mindset is Forcing.    

Forcing – This is the state of neediness. A person in a forcing state repels what they want. If you’ve ever had a clingy girlfriend, who’se clingy-ness turned to needyness, you’ll remember the feeling it created inside of you. Most likely, you wanted to run away as fast as you could. This is the same response you’ll get from women when you are in a forcing state. In a forcing state, you’ll feel anything ranging from an undercurrent discontent to utter panic and desperation.

The remedy for forcing is patience. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you slow down, stop trying to get it right and look at your situation from a different vantage point.

Having

If you answer “Yes” to some of these statements you are probably in a Having state.  This is also what I call a “Structurer.”

  • You realize that there is a basic structure to almost every social interaction between a man and woman.    

    • You engage her 

    • You get her focused attention

    • You explore each other and build a connection (this connection could be emotional, spiritual, and/or physical)

    • You see if you are a good “fit” for each other

    • You deepen the relationship in any way you both choose.

  • The structure described above gives you the freedom to express yourself authentically when you choose to do so.

  • You feel comfortable, confident and content in social situations.

  • You understand that what you say to a woman matters very little compared to how you say it.

  • You have plenty of women in your life or you’ve found “The One.”

Let’s face it, if you are reading this right now, you are probably not embodying the characteristics of a Structurer the majority of the time.  

The Structurer’s Fundamental Mindset is Having.    

Having - This is the state of effortless attraction. When you engage with women in a Having state, youʼll see a huge difference in your results. Women will want to connect with you, and everything will just seem to flow naturally.

Conclusion & Recommendations

My recommendation to you is take a structured approach to game and your conversation skills by grabbing a copy of the Conversational Confidence Ebook.