8 Ways For Men To Improve Their Voice & Sound More Attractive
Where are you making the biggest mistakes when you get into a conversation with a woman? I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t what to say” but that’s not it and it’s probably something you haven’t put much thought into before…
You need to speak in a tone that turns her on. Having a masculine voice is a huge turn on while feminine speech and having a feminine voice will undoubtedly turn her off.
The boring science:
There are objective differences between masculine and feminine speech that are apparent in casual conversation. Scientists with too much time on their hands, have also studied these things. There are some aspects of engaging speech that are the same for both men and women, and are the same no matter who you are communicating with. It is always a valuable trait to actively listen, tell an engaging story, make insightful connections with what you’re discussing, and captivate a group with your speech.
Some people argue that these are natural biological differences, while others argue that they are a result of socialization in our society.
This argument doesn’t matter for our purposes. What we need to focus on is communicating in a masculine style, which is more attractive to women. Women subconsciously judge guys with a masculine style of speech as being more confident. Voice feminization is a real thing. It's almost become cool to speak in this feminine way and with the cultural assault on masculinity it only makes the problem worse and dissuades young men from speaking from their true deep and masculine voice.
We're also spending way less time being social and more time on our devices which weakens our voice box and vocal cords and can make us speak with a high pitch instead of a much more attractive lower pitch. Don't even get me started on gender dysphoria... all of these cultural phenomenons are resulting in 30% of the male population under 30 having zero sex partners on average.
Things to be aware of:
Beyond these factors, there are important differences in the way men and women communicate that you should be aware of. In general, men communicate to convey information, while women communicate to convey emotions.
This is where the oversimplification “men are rational while women are emotional” comes from. A better way to look at it is that men are rational communicators while women are emotional communicators.
8 important differences:
Women hedge their statements more frequently, using more tentative language such as “I think”, “pretty much”, “somewhat”, “I think”, and “you know”. Don’t do this. Dominant men communicate with confident rather than establishing doubt in what they’re saying. Just be sure you’re not making false claims which will make you sound like an idiot.
Women give each other compliments as a way of connecting socially. When a woman says to another woman “I like your dress”, the communication goes much deeper than the dress. What the language ALSO conveys is that the women are of equal status, socially respect each other, and it is an invitation for further conversation. The surface level conversation about the dress has more important subtexts to it. The takeaway is to be careful with compliments because they can make you seem supplicative.
Men end their sentences with a downward inflection, while women end their sentences with an upward inflection. Ending your sentences with an upward inflection makes you sound unsure of yourself and compromises your confidence. Remember aim for a low pitch, avoid a higher pitch.
Men speak with a more monotone vocal inflection and have less pitch variation. There is a sweet spot here as being too monotone can makes you seem robotic, but too much rising and falling inflection makes you look feminine. Studies have shown that men who speak in more monotone voices are more attractive to women.
Men swear more and use stronger swear words. This one is s self-explanatory, and explains why women who constantly swear are less attractive.
Masculine speech is more direct. Women use more adverbs to modify their speech. Women use more flowery language to communicate, while men are direct and to the point. You should be communicating with strong images rather than rich language.
Men speak slower than women. Don’t speak rapidly. Most people talk too fast, and this is making you seem more feminine.
Women speak with more personal language and discuss their emotions more. Context is important on this one, as there are times when it is necessary to convey emotion, but keep in mind that doing so is part of a feminine communication style and can easily be overdone.
Pay attention to how you are speaking. Working on these important communication techniques will make you more attractive to women, and since most people are not aware of them, it’s an easy advantage for you.
Remember change can happen fast but it won't just happen by thinking about it. I recommend you hire a voice coach to deepen your voice. Voice training is something you can do weekly that will pay off in spades in just a few months. I had one client who had the most feminine and unattractive voice ever. But he hired a voice coach and started taking singing lessons and voice training and he now sounds completely different. Women compliment him on his voice all the time.
If you have an accent that our culture deems unattractive working with a language pathologist can make a huge difference.
Another unexpected benefit of hiring a vocal coach and getting vocal training is it will make your neck muscles bigger and that will make you much more masculine and attractive. It can improve your breathing and singing really helps diaphragmatic breathing which allows your brain more oxygen and I'm not scientist but that can't be a bad thing.
So get out there and train that deep voice. Listen to radio hosts and other masculine dudes and mimic how they speak. It will improve your natural pitch and you'll get more dates.
What to do next:
Reading this blog is a good first step to understanding female psychology, but most guys get caught in analysis paralysis mode by actually studying too much online content. It’s way more effective to study content that is custom tailored to your specific sticking points than reading random articles and watching self help videos. Men fall into three distinct buckets on their journey to attraction mastery.
Bucket 1 - Attraction Aspirant: You don’t consistently generate attraction. You might find yourself in a pattern where dates are rare, and when they do happen, they seldom lead to deeper connections or second dates. You’re conscious about your spending, wary of being perceived wrongly, and perhaps your style doesn’t quite express who you truly are.
Bucket 2 - Chase Changer: You generate attraction but you find yourself chasing the women you really want instead of getting them to chase you. You are uncertainty in making bold moves. While you're attractive and successful, translating that into dating confidence, especially with high-value women, remains a challenge. Self-sabotage and hesitancy can often be the barrier between you and the dating success you seek.
Bucket 3 - Selective Strategist: You find dating and initiating connections relatively easy, but the challenge lies in attracting those who truly excite and inspire you. It's about understanding the subtle dynamics of high-value dating and leveraging your strengths to create not just any connection but the right one.
To see which bucket you fail into and to get a tailored action plan to improve, answer these 10 quick questions.