240: Movie Magic – Unlocking Confidence with Lessons from Hollywood’s Leading Men
Transcript – Scroll To Bottom
Intro :
On this episode of Inner Confidence Podcast, we delve into the art of confident communication and emulate the leading men of our favorite movie scenes. Our host, Robbie Kramer, shares insights on developing inner confidence and becoming a better man, rather than actively pursuing women. Starting with a discussion on a movie scene from “Crazy, Stupid, Love,” Robbie explores the techniques used by the characters to create attraction. He emphasizes the importance of entertaining oneself during interactions, treating conversations as a fun back-and-forth exchange, just like a tennis match. Robbie provides practical advice on interjecting into conversations, including the effective use of parroting, repeating the last thing said in a non-derogatory way. Through analyzing real-life interactions, Robbie showcases the most effective ways to improve male-female attraction. Tune in to the Inner Confidence Podcast to master the art of confident communication and design an envy-worthy lifestyle.
Show Notes:
02:26 – ‘Crazy Stupid Love’ – “My favorite dating movie!” – Find out why!
03:26 “If you could emulate one man in Hollywood, it would be Ryan Gosling!” – Fashion advice with Ryan Gosling!
04:25 – “He looks like a carrot!” – We break down ‘Crazy Stupid Love’!
06:04 – Indirect to a direct approach!
07:12 – Anytime a girl asks a personal question, do this… – Host breaks down how to masterfully divert personal questions!
08:20 – Don’t get overlay exited! – Watch and LEARN!
09:03 – DON’T forget her friend! – learn why it’s important not to ignore her friends when engaging in a conversation with a chick!
09:49 – Is he having fun or trying to pick her up? – One is KEY to have a good time and overall experience! Learn more…
11:14 – Assuming attraction is really important! – Here is why!
11:46 – Don’t ask to sit down and just do it! – Why you shouldn’t be at a different level when having a conversation with a girl!
13:38 – “You’re going to age, you’re going to get old, but you’re never going to regret having sex with this guy you met at a bar” – Cringy! But with a twist! Find out how to make this corny line WORK!
16:20 – Just have fun! – Guest shares why this attracts women!
17:17 – ‘Lost In Translation’ – Learn from Bill Murray in this movie!
18:12 – “He doesn’t instigate a conversation immediately!” – Improve your communication skills with this powerful tip!
20:03 – Learn how to use silence effectively, like Bill Murray in this scene! – Host breaks it down!
24:21 – “Question filler, Question filler” – Learn this powerful communication skill!
25:55 – He’s not hitting on her and showing minimal interest! – learn this formula for success with chicks!
28:13 – “Are you stalking me? Because that would be super!” – We break down ‘van wilder’ starring Ryan Reynolds!
30:03 – Strong eye contact! – learn how important this is from Ryan Reynolds in this scene!
30:51 – Conclusion – Share with us your favorite scenes down in the comments below for the next podcast!
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Transcript :
Robbie Kramer [00:00:00]:
Inner confidence. We’re not here trying to pick up chicks. We are here to make you into a better man. Notice that he doesn’t immediately try to start conversations.
Speaker B [00:00:08]:
Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:11]:
So that’s a hilarious language.
Mariia Kramer [00:00:12]:
Shows the confidence. It makes him so attractive.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:15]:
Crazy, stupid, love. This is one of my favorite movies of all time.
Speaker D [00:00:19]:
He is funny. Looks like a carrot, honey.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:22]:
Looks like a carrot. If you could emulate maybe one leading man in Hollywood, it might be Ryan Gosling.
Speaker E [00:00:28]:
Welcome to the Interconfidence Podcast, where we bring you men’s, dating, and lifestyle advice that doesn’t suck. I’m your host, Robbie Kramer, a former collegiate golfer turned poker pro turned finance guy who became obsessed with learning about male female attraction and dynamics and passionate about teaching men how to improve and optimize their love life. Tune in each week and we’ll bring you the latest and greatest strategies on how to get more dates, how to build a thriving social circle that brings the best men and women into your life, how to become a better networker, and how to design a lifestyle that makes all your buddies jealous. If you’re new to the show, I recommend you download my First Date Protocol. It’s the best piece of content I have. It’ll help you optimize your first date and subsequent dates. And I like to connect with my listeners personally, so if you want to grab a copy of that, please send me a direct message on Instagram. I’m at Robbie Kramer. Now let’s dive into this week’s content.
Robbie Kramer [00:01:18]:
Yo, yo. Welcome back to the Interconfidence Podcast. I’m your host, Robbie Kramer. I’m here with my lovely wife, Maria.
Speaker D [00:01:25]:
Hi.
Robbie Kramer [00:01:26]:
I want to congratulate Maria because she recently got her work permit here in the States. So now she can work and now she can pay taxes. Isn’t that exciting?
Mariia Kramer [00:01:34]:
It’s so exciting.
Robbie Kramer [00:01:36]:
She’s a working model. You also got accepted to a really cool platform that allows you to directly book with clients. Right? So that’s been cool. We’re here in La. And now you get to bring home the bacon, baby. I know I can quit this fucking podcast. And maybe you can make some money. Today we’ve got a cool episode. We are going over movie scenes. We’re going to break down how attraction works, how you can be like the leading men in these scenes that will make you the most attractive and confident version of yourself. Remember, inner confidence. We’re not here trying to pick up chicks. We are here to make you into a better man. That girls, gold. They want to pick you up, right? So let’s become the anti picker uppers, I guess you could say. All right. Crazy, stupid, love. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, especially when it comes to the genre of my job as a dating coach. Because in the movie, ryan Gosling’s character is a dating coach. Pretty funny. Have you seen this?
Mariia Kramer [00:02:45]:
No.
Robbie Kramer [00:02:45]:
We need to watch it together. It’s amazing. This girl has a boyfriend. She wants to break up with him. She’s at having drinks with her friend Ryan Gosling’s character. He’s always hanging out at this bar. That’s basically what you need to know in the backstory. I mean, if anyone could be that smooth in real life, I’ve never seen something that smooth.
Speaker D [00:03:03]:
Right?
Robbie Kramer [00:03:04]:
The way he mixes in all of the legal talk. Permission to approach the bench. Right? I mean, obviously it’s a movie, right? It’s not real. But if that was real, that guy would be the greatest of all time. So, so many awesome things to learn from this one. Just like, if you could emulate maybe one leading man in Hollywood, it might be Ryan Gosling, because he’s cool, he’s funny, he’s charming. Obviously good looking, of course. But he has a really good sense of fashion as well. I always tell my clients, like, if they’re looking to up level their fashion, to pick a celebrity that they relate to and then just copy that guy. And then once you’ve copied him, then you can kind of find your own take on it. Of course. But that’s a great place to start because these celebrities don’t dress themselves. Right?
Mariia Kramer [00:03:57]:
Of course. They spend so much money on stylists.
Speaker D [00:04:00]:
Yeah.
Robbie Kramer [00:04:00]:
And you can just go on Pinterest and look at their exact outfit. I always recommend you can find stuff that’s either there or a cheaper version because they’re buying, of course, designer brands. But you could probably find the same stuff at Zara, H and M for sure. Yeah. So easy. Fashion hack. Don’t overlook that one. Dress like Ryan Gosling, especially if you look like him. All right, here we go.
Speaker D [00:04:40]:
So much potential and you’ve resorted to fantasizing about Conan Ginger junk. O’Brien, he is funny. He looks like a carrot. Honey.
Speaker F [00:04:47]:
He looks like a carrot.
Robbie Kramer [00:04:49]:
Looks like a carrot. So that’s one way to interject into a conversation because you’re gonna obviously, it’s not a go to. You can’t control for that. But a lot of the time, you walk up to a group of girls and they’ll be having a conversation, and you can simply take the last thing that they said and repeat that, do that parroting thing, but not in the way that I was saying it before. Right? And they’re just going to be like, what? And sometimes they’re going to latch on to what they were saying and immediately invite you into the conversation because they want you there. Other times, they’re just going to be like, what? And then you can be like, I’m Robbie, who’s a carrot, and just continue on. Right? You’re basically just interjecting without the awkward. Hey, how’s it going?
Speaker B [00:05:40]:
Right?
Robbie Kramer [00:05:41]:
It’s a much more smooth way to indirectly approach.
Speaker F [00:05:47]:
Hi, who looks like a carrot.
Robbie Kramer [00:05:50]:
So he pauses. He gets the eye contact. Hi, who looks like a carrot. And now you could tell, like, she’s a human. Yeah.
Mariia Kramer [00:05:58]:
So much.
Robbie Kramer [00:06:01]:
She can’t even contain herself. She’s getting nervous.
Speaker D [00:06:04]:
My friend Hannah here thinks he’s sexy.
Speaker F [00:06:08]:
That’s weird because I think that your friend Hannah is really sexy.
Robbie Kramer [00:06:12]:
So now he switches it from an indirect to a direct approach. Obviously he was able to flop or flip that comment that she made around and he just like, drops that hammer.
Mariia Kramer [00:06:28]:
But you need to be really confident to do something like that.
Robbie Kramer [00:06:33]:
Oh, yeah, of course. Super confident. He knows he has investment from the friend already, though, so he knows he has at least half of the party interested in the last podcast we did about Vicky Christina. Vicky christina Barcelona. Is that movie? And the same sort of thing happens with Javier Bardem. So watch that scene if you haven’t.
Speaker D [00:06:54]:
My God, you did not just say that.
Mariia Kramer [00:06:57]:
How old are you?
Robbie Kramer [00:06:58]:
And that’s such an amazing reaction. Like you want that, oh my God. Who the hell do you think you are? Sort of reaction. If you hit that on an approach, you’ve nailed it. Who do you think you are? That’s the vibe.
Speaker F [00:07:12]:
What are you? Lawyer?
Robbie Kramer [00:07:14]:
So this is a great line. Anytime a girl says some sort of personal question, it’s weird that she asks how old are you? I don’t understand the point of that question. Maybe she asked it, how old are you? You’re so immature. How old are you? To say that. What are you, a lawyer?
Speaker D [00:07:36]:
Right?
Robbie Kramer [00:07:37]:
Like when a girl if we were on a second date and you said, how many girls have you been with? Be like, what are you, a lawyer? So you’re not directly answering, you’re just averting.
Speaker F [00:07:51]:
Come on, I know you are.
Robbie Kramer [00:07:53]:
Is she gonna be don’t you think.
Speaker D [00:07:54]:
You’Re a little old to be using cheesy pickup line?
Robbie Kramer [00:07:57]:
Objection. Okay, so that’s the reason. Too old. And then, of course, he immediately goes objection. Which is genius, of course, because she’s a lawyer leading the witness.
Speaker F [00:08:08]:
Wow, Hannah, you’re really wearing that dress that you’re doing. It a favor. That’s a line.
Robbie Kramer [00:08:16]:
I love how he says right after that’s a line, right? Instead of just like leaving it.
Speaker F [00:08:20]:
Me sitting over there for the past 2 hours not being able to take my eyes off of you is a fact. I mean, there’s lots of beautiful women.
Robbie Kramer [00:08:25]:
And so notice he’s interjecting statements of really strong interest, but he’s saying them no different than sort of how he’s saying the other things, right? He’s not getting overly excited. He says, well, that’s interesting because I think your friend Hannah here is really sexy. And he just drops that. And then he said he says the pickup line. That’s a line. And I’ve been staring at you for the last 2 hours. That’s a fact, right? The way he’s using the language, he’s not overemphasizing the really direct statements. He’s just mixing them in fluidly with the other statements I feel like is really genius here bar, your friend included.
Speaker D [00:09:06]:
Hi, I love you.
Robbie Kramer [00:09:11]:
And he’s doing a great job of using the friend as a wingman. He’s checking in with her.
Mariia Kramer [00:09:16]:
Yes. And it’s just, like, important to speak to a friend because if the friend doesn’t like the situation, she was just, okay, we need to leave. Right. So you need to invest in the friend a little bit too, to keep her interested.
Robbie Kramer [00:09:29]:
Yeah. It’s so important because if you just direct all of your attention at the girl you like, the other friend is going to feel sad, upset, and she’s going to cockblock.
Mariia Kramer [00:09:39]:
Yeah, definitely.
Robbie Kramer [00:09:42]:
He acknowledged that she’s sexy. He’s doing a really good job of getting her on his team and making her feel good too.
Speaker F [00:09:50]:
But I can’t take my eyes off of you. That’s a fact. It’s not a line. I find you very attractive. Do you find me attractive?
Robbie Kramer [00:09:57]:
So it’s a good thing he asked this, because I felt like at this point, it was a lot it was a lot of interest. Right. And then he did a good job.
Mariia Kramer [00:10:06]:
Of saying because he didn’t change his intonation and he was just so calm. Speaking about this, it didn’t seem a lot to me, because if he was like, oh, my God, I really like you’re. So beautiful, so sexy, this unattractive.
Robbie Kramer [00:10:23]:
Do you feel like he’s having fun mainly, or he’s trying to pick her up?
Mariia Kramer [00:10:29]:
I think it’s just like a fun experience for him.
Robbie Kramer [00:10:31]:
He’s just having fun.
Mariia Kramer [00:10:32]:
He can go to any girls. He doesn’t care. He’s super confident. Won’t work out with that girl, won’t work out with another one. That’s where you can see that he’s just having fun.
Robbie Kramer [00:10:40]:
The key here is he’s entertaining himself. Right. That’s the difference. You want to go into every interaction when you approach a girl as, I’m just going to entertain myself, I’m going to have a good time, regardless of how she acts or behaves, I know I’m going to have a good time and I’m going to just go have a conversation, we’ll see what happens. And she’s going to throw some stuff my way. She’s going to give me all sorts of tests, and I get to have fun responding to those tests. It’s like, you come over, you serve the ball, she’s going to hit it back, and then you got to hit it back again. And that’s the give and take.
Speaker D [00:11:14]:
Does? I don’t.
Speaker F [00:11:16]:
You do. She does.
Speaker D [00:11:17]:
Yes, she does. I don’t.
Robbie Kramer [00:11:19]:
So assuming attraction is also a really important point, even if she says she doesn’t, you should just ignore them. You do. I know you do.
Mariia Kramer [00:11:29]:
But even her friend, she knows her very well, so when she says she does, she knows that she really well.
Robbie Kramer [00:11:35]:
She has a boyfriend, and so they were literally talking before he walked over about how she’s annoyed with her boyfriend and wanting to break up with him. So her friend is very actively trying to make that happen because she doesn’t like the boyfriend. Yeah, you do.
Speaker D [00:11:48]:
I don’t.
Speaker F [00:11:48]:
Hannah, can I buy you a drink?
Speaker D [00:11:50]:
No.
Speaker F [00:11:50]:
You say no a lot, don’t you?
Speaker D [00:11:52]:
No.
Robbie Kramer [00:11:52]:
Oh boy.
Speaker F [00:11:53]:
Permission to approach the bench.
Robbie Kramer [00:11:55]:
So at this point in the conversation, it’s a minute and probably 20 in because I think the first 10 seconds are him walking over her. 5 seconds. And now he’s got enough investment from them, and he’s familiar enough where he essentially just grabs a chair and sits down, which is right about the timing that I would recommend. He could have done it a little bit earlier, I think, but this is a perfect segue where he says, can I approach the bench? Which is a lawyer joke. Right? Approach the and he grabs a chair. He doesn’t ask permission. He fake asked for permission.
Speaker F [00:12:31]:
Right.
Robbie Kramer [00:12:31]:
He’s like permission to approach the bench. I’m going to do it anyways, but I’m still kind of asking for permission. And you don’t want to be standing above the girl.
Speaker D [00:12:37]:
Yeah.
Mariia Kramer [00:12:37]:
Because you want your eyes to be on the same level.
Robbie Kramer [00:12:41]:
So yeah. Around like if you talk to girls in a bar or at a party or whatever, if you’re at a different level, you don’t want to be in that situation for more than a minute.
Mariia Kramer [00:12:50]:
It’s just awkward. Yeah. In 1 minute it becomes awkward. Just like, okay, when it will be over.
Robbie Kramer [00:12:57]:
So don’t ask. I go, do you mind if I sit or hold on, I’ll be right back, I’m going to get a chair. You just do it like you keep talking, you grab a chair, you pull it over. Don’t even ask the people at the other table if it’s like their chair. You just fucking grab it and you do it. And if they have a problem with it, they’ll probably say, hey, we need that chair. Be like, I’ll give it right back. 2 seconds, right? Because he’s not planning on staying. The other thing is you could also do a false time constraint here. You could be like, permission to approach the bench. I got to run in like a minute and a half. But you plop down, you sit, you continue.
Speaker F [00:13:29]:
Seriously, just come on. Let me deliver my closing argument, so.
Robbie Kramer [00:13:33]:
Let me deliver my closing argument, which is a time constraint. I’m just going to say what I’m going to say and then I’m going to go.
Speaker G [00:13:40]:
Sure, proceed.
Speaker F [00:13:42]:
Anna, we live in a physical world, right? And you’re going to age, right? I guarantee you this. You’re never going to regret going home with that guy from the bar that one time. That was a total tomcat insect.
Robbie Kramer [00:13:56]:
This is such a cringy line. And you could see her face. Her face like literally cringe. You’re going to age, you’re going to get old, but you’re never going to regret that time you went home and had sex with this guy who’s really good at sex. The literal translation of the line, which is totally obnoxious. Really ballsy, right? Thank God he’s about to immediately follow it up to change, but I can’t.
Speaker F [00:14:24]:
Guarantee that you won’t not regret it.
Speaker G [00:14:26]:
That’s a double negative.
Speaker F [00:14:27]:
You’re a double negative.
Robbie Kramer [00:14:31]:
Obviously, this is, like, too fast for real life, but he’s being so ridiculously forward about wanting to sleep with her that night right. That he knows it’s probably going to blow himself out. But I don’t think he cares because, again, he’s just entertaining himself. The whole point is for him to have fun. And he goes to this bar almost every day, and he’s seen her there before, and he knows she’s coming back. So he’s just planting a seed. Right. That’s his intention. He’s not trying to take every girl home. He’s just planting seeds and waiting for them to sprout. And then sure enough, later on I mean, if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll see what happens.
Speaker F [00:15:09]:
Okay, anna, can I buy a drink?
Speaker D [00:15:13]:
You know what?
Robbie Kramer [00:15:14]:
So here I feel like this is interesting. I’m curious, if this was real life and he didn’t say anything there, what would have happened? Because he pushed again and she’s like, okay, I’m fucking leaving. This is, like, too much. Now, the friend’s there, and she’s definitely willing to sleep with him, but he also knows that if he sleeps with that friend, he’s probably not going to sleep with her. But yeah, I feel like this part is a little bit strange because I don’t think she would just leave the friend.
Mariia Kramer [00:15:43]:
I think it was good because when she will leave and maybe she will doubt her decision about like, oh, I better stay and have some fun, and it will make her think about him. I think so.
Speaker F [00:15:57]:
Really?
Speaker D [00:15:58]:
Wow.
Speaker F [00:15:58]:
It’s forward of you, but okay.
Robbie Kramer [00:15:59]:
So now that he’s just like everything she’s saying about going home, he’s reframing that as she’s inviting him home. This is hilarious.
Speaker F [00:16:07]:
I’ll do it.
Mariia Kramer [00:16:08]:
T boat style.
Speaker D [00:16:09]:
Three.
Speaker F [00:16:11]:
Should I get my car or yours? Should I pull the car around? Have you been drinking?
Robbie Kramer [00:16:14]:
I’ll drive.
Mariia Kramer [00:16:15]:
Liz coming.
Robbie Kramer [00:16:16]:
Right? He’s just totally having fun. I love this. His character is so funny.
Mariia Kramer [00:16:21]:
Yeah. And it’s the way how to handle rejection. He doesn’t care fun. Right. He just tried to make fun till the end. And he doesn’t look upset or like, oh, my God, that girl loved she rejected me. He doesn’t care. It’s what makes him attractive that he doesn’t care. And he is not scared of rejection.
Robbie Kramer [00:16:44]:
Exactly.
Mariia Kramer [00:16:45]:
He knows they will happen for sure.
Robbie Kramer [00:16:47]:
Yeah. And he knows he’s not like I said before, he’s just planting a seed. It doesn’t have to happen. It might happen then and there, but most likely it’ll happen later. So be Ryan Gosling. Moral of the story. Just get some plastic surgery, look like him, dress like him, act like him. You’d be pretty good to go.
Mariia Kramer [00:17:07]:
You will never become him.
Robbie Kramer [00:17:10]:
Become your own version of Ryan Gosling Lost in Translation. I’ve actually never seen this movie, so be interesting. I’ve seen the clip, obviously.
Speaker G [00:17:18]:
Thanks.
Robbie Kramer [00:17:19]:
What can I get you?
Speaker G [00:17:22]:
I’m not sure.
Speaker B [00:17:26]:
For relaxing times. Make it sanitary time.
Robbie Kramer [00:17:32]:
So, as you heard, he’s there doing a commercial, I think, for this whiskey brand. And so this is obviously part of his shtick, and the fact that he’s got the waiter chiming in on it shows a lot of status. Clearly he’s a guy who’s in the know with the staff, and this is only going to make him look more attractive. Also, it’s funny, right? So I’m not sure if they know each other prior to this. I think they do. Like I said, I haven’t seen the movie, but even if they didn’t, this would still be hilarious. And she’d be like, oh, wow, it’s a really good icebreaker.
Speaker G [00:18:15]:
I’ll have a vodka tonic, thanks.
Robbie Kramer [00:18:24]:
So notice that he doesn’t immediately try to start conversation like most guys at bars, right? They’re very quick to instigate something. He knows he has her attention, so he knows he can wait and play with that tension.
Speaker D [00:18:41]:
Right.
Robbie Kramer [00:18:42]:
And she then is the first to invest and ask him, what are you doing here?
Speaker G [00:18:47]:
So what are you doing here?
Speaker B [00:18:51]:
A couple of things. Taking a break from my wife, forgetting my son’s birthday, and getting paid $2 million to endorse a whiskey when I could be doing a play somewhere. But the good news is the whiskey works.
Robbie Kramer [00:19:13]:
So his response is kind of a downer. You can tell he’s not very happy in his marriage. He’s not super stoked on his son. He seems like he’s not really into his life, right? But he’s getting paid a lot of money, so that’s a little bit of a flex. But I think she already knows that he’s famous or something like that. So he’s not bragging per se.
Mariia Kramer [00:19:40]:
He’s just confident. It’s his life.
Robbie Kramer [00:19:44]:
He’s vulnerable and authentic. Right. And also because he said the thing that’s kind of like a downer, and she’s like, oh, what do I say to any of that? He injects some humor, which was obviously love. Yeah. It softened the other stuff. So Hollywood is pretty good at this.
Speaker D [00:20:08]:
It’s.
Robbie Kramer [00:20:12]:
Notice the long pause. What are you doing?
Speaker D [00:20:16]:
Right?
Robbie Kramer [00:20:16]:
You’ll notice that as a theme throughout, is he uses silence very effectively. And that’s a really important point that most guys fail at. They’re nervous, so they quickly ask the next question and they parrot her answer. That’s a big mistake I see guys make.
Mariia Kramer [00:20:34]:
They usually look too nervous and they start mumbling. That’s so unattractive, you know, that the guy’s nervous, you see, he has zero confidence, and it’s what so obvious.
Robbie Kramer [00:20:44]:
As an example, if I said, So what are you doing here?
Mariia Kramer [00:20:47]:
Response you’re being a guy. Yeah. I don’t know. Just drinking.
Robbie Kramer [00:20:54]:
Just drinking? Just drinking vodka?
Mariia Kramer [00:20:56]:
Yes.
Robbie Kramer [00:20:57]:
Cool. What kind of vodka?
Mariia Kramer [00:21:02]:
I don’t know.
Robbie Kramer [00:21:03]:
You don’t know? Okay. That is what not to do. But that’s the default that most guys go into. They repeat like a parrot exactly what she said. And then they’re like, cool. Oh, yeah, awesome. They get overexcited about something really insignificant that doesn’t warrant any excitement, because they’re trying to force a connection. He’s doing the opposite. He’s not responding. I mean, he’s not cold, but he’s not jumping on the invitation to continue the conversation. He’s allowing her to invest more than he is. So her response to, what are you doing?
Speaker G [00:21:41]:
Is, my husband’s a photographer, so he’s here working and wasn’t doing anything, so I came along, and we have some friends that live here.
Speaker B [00:21:53]:
Oh, you’ve been married.
Speaker G [00:21:54]:
Thank you.
Robbie Kramer [00:21:55]:
This is always such a cliche. Let me get your light. And then she, like, touches his hand ever so slightly while he’s doing it. But you got to be quick with a lighter. I had a wingman who was always really good about carrying a lighter, and anytime he saw a girl about to light up a cigarette, he was there, ready with the lighter. Obviously, if you hang out in bars or places where there’s a smoking patio, this can be a great sort of opener. Like, you see a girl fumbling for a cigarette, you just walk over like, need a light? Super confident.
Speaker B [00:22:30]:
How long you been married?
Speaker G [00:22:32]:
Thank you. Two years.
Speaker B [00:22:37]:
25 long ones.
Speaker G [00:22:40]:
You’re probably just having a midlife crisis. Did you buy a Porsche yet?
Speaker B [00:22:47]:
You know, I was thinking about buying.
Robbie Kramer [00:22:49]:
A Porsche, so here I think he’s joking, obviously, but the way he says it, maybe it’s not so obvious. He leaves it up to her imagination. Right. I was thinking about buying a Porsche. Can’t really tell, but it creates more mystery, more intrigue.
Mariia Kramer [00:23:07]:
And again, maybe he has five Porsches already. He’s, like, super rich. He doesn’t want to brag it’s. What’s I think the most important here.
Robbie Kramer [00:23:18]:
Well, the cliche in America is that when you have a midlife crisis, you buy a Porsche. You buy a sports car. Yeah. You buy a sports car when you’re like, oh, my God, I’m 50. I’m at the middle of my life. I don’t know what to do. I’ll buy a Porsche, and that will make me feel younger. It’s like a sports car. It’s like you see old guys buying, like, red sports cars because it makes them feel under younger. So when I buy a sports car, in about ten years, you’ll know why.
Speaker G [00:23:46]:
25 years? It’s most impressive.
Speaker B [00:23:54]:
Well, you figure you sleep one third of your life, that knocks off eight years of marriage right there. So you’re down to 16 and change, and you’re just a teenager at marriage. You can drive it, but there’s still the occasional accident.
Robbie Kramer [00:24:10]:
Well, it seems like they’re again, I haven’t seen the movie, but I think the plot or the storyline is like two people who are kind of unhappy in their life and their marriage find comfort in each other.
Speaker B [00:24:23]:
What do you do?
Robbie Kramer [00:24:27]:
One thing I want to point out is usually the what do you do sort of questions can lead down. I mean, it’s a very normal thing to ask, right? And if you ask it in the way that he’s asking it, by employing long pauses and colorful commentary, my formula for conversations is question filler. Question filler. So if you’re going to ask a question, don’t immediately follow it up with another question and do the parroting thing and the being over agreeable? Those are all the wrong things. If I ask you, what do you do? And you answer, I need to then provide some colorful commentary, meaning something of value or substance relating to what you said, instead of just asking you another boring question. So we’ll see him do that, I think.
Speaker G [00:25:11]:
I’m not sure yet, actually. I just graduated last spring.
Speaker B [00:25:16]:
What did you study?
Speaker G [00:25:18]:
Philosophy.
Speaker B [00:25:20]:
There’s a good buck in that racket.
Robbie Kramer [00:25:22]:
So that’s an example. She said philosophy. There’s a good buck in that racket, which is basically a funny way of saying, like, you can make a lot of money in that bullshit. But a racket doesn’t quite mean bullshit. It’s more of just like, a racket is a gig or a job. They used to refer to, like, mafia times. Running a racket meant having a slightly illegal money laundering business of some sort. So it’s funny he’s calling it a racket because it’s obviously a legit profession, but calling it a racket is just colorful commentary.
Speaker G [00:26:01]:
So far, it’s pro bono.
Speaker B [00:26:04]:
Well, I’m sure you’ll figure out the angles.
Speaker G [00:26:10]:
I hope your Porsche works out. Cheers to that.
Robbie Kramer [00:26:15]:
So that was good. He left her to respond to the next thing. Right? He’s employing no sense of or he’s not doing anything that would make it look like he’s interested in anything but a conversation. He’s being flirty. Well, he’s being funny. He’s not being flirty. Right. But being funny is being flirty at the same time. But he’s not showing any overt interest. He’s not hitting on her. He’s only positioning himself as a man of status, a good conversationalist and just a value to be around. And she’s not overtly hitting on him either. Right. But she’s clearly interested in the conversation and they’re both enjoying.
Speaker G [00:27:09]:
Cheers to that.
Speaker B [00:27:10]:
Cheers to that. Come fight.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:15]:
Notice he’s barely ever smiling. Either he’s not releasing any sexual tension, right? Or he’s not releasing any tension. He’s not doing things that make him look nervous or awkward at all.
Mariia Kramer [00:27:27]:
Maybe he’s just so upset about his.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:29]:
Life, he’s just depressed.
Speaker G [00:27:42]:
Wish I could sleep.
Speaker B [00:27:44]:
Me too.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:49]:
So I kind of see that as an invitation. Wish I could sleep. Like, people usually only say that if they want to continue drinking and having a good time. I can’t sleep, so we might as well keep drinking. I’m not sure if they have an affair or not, but we’ll have to definitely watch.
Mariia Kramer [00:28:04]:
They had little kiss eats.
Robbie Kramer [00:28:06]:
It wasn’t like a makeout.
Mariia Kramer [00:28:07]:
It was just that’s an affair already.
Robbie Kramer [00:28:10]:
A kiss is cheating, as they say. So let’s go on to the next movie. The next one’s going to be a shorter clip from the movie Van Wilder. And this is only, like, 30 seconds. This will be an interesting one. So they were at a party, I believe, and I think her boyfriend did something rude to him. Yeah. Obviously, this guy is his protege, and he sees that the girl he’s interested in is up ahead, so he has the wherewithal to jump out of the golf cart. So her boyfriend’s in, like, arrival fraternity, and they don’t like each other boxes. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:28:54]:
Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.
Robbie Kramer [00:28:57]:
So that’s a hilarious line. Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.
Mariia Kramer [00:29:01]:
It’s so funny.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:04]:
I mean, that would be a great line you could use on Instagram as, like, an opening message if you see.
Mariia Kramer [00:29:08]:
The girl who is not following you watching your stories.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:12]:
I love that line. That’s so good. Are you stalking me? Because that would be super. Because it implies that she’s the one chasing you. Anytime you can imply that the girl’s the one chasing you in a funny, creative way, that is a huge go to. Yeah.
Mariia Kramer [00:29:29]:
I would like this line.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:31]:
So then she gets in the golf cart.
Speaker D [00:29:33]:
My mom did want me to invite.
Speaker G [00:29:35]:
You to a temporary party next week.
Speaker B [00:29:37]:
Was that a judge’s ruling? Yeah, I do believe that was a joke.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:44]:
So the other lead into this is, like she doesn’t joke very often. I think she said, I’m a very serious person. So he makes that funny, like, looking around. Oh, that was a joke.
Speaker D [00:29:55]:
Right.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:55]:
He’s, like, using the space even though he’s not there’s nobody there. It’s like he’s pretending there’s an audience and then asking for the feedback, which is hilarious. And you can see here now, he’s just strong eye contact, holding the tension, not laughing. And you can see the silence. You can see it’s all real. Her falling in love. I mean, that was a long thing of sounds. How long is that? Let’s count that one. 10 02, 10 03. 10 04 10 00. Like 4 seconds, right? That feels like an eternity. Yeah. And he’s just he’s just yeah, let’s let’s do it.
Speaker B [00:30:44]:
Right?
Robbie Kramer [00:30:44]:
And then she breaks the silence.
Mariia Kramer [00:30:46]:
She shows the confidence.
Robbie Kramer [00:30:47]:
Yeah.
Mariia Kramer [00:30:48]:
And it makes him so attractive to her.
Robbie Kramer [00:30:52]:
I hope you guys learned a lot from this. Please, we need more scenes to break down, and I haven’t seen enough movies to remember all the scenes. So if you guys have recommendations of other scenes that you’d like to see broken down, please put those in the comments or send me a message on Instagram. One of the things we do in the interconfidence community is guys are constantly posting hidden camera video of them actually talking to women. And we. Break that down. Of course, they either get permission or they blur the girl’s face. And that is the absolute best way to learn how to be better at this stuff is to get real life feedback.
Mariia Kramer [00:31:37]:
Just you need to look at yourself from the side because usually you think, oh, I did that or I didn’t do that. But when you see yourself from the side, you actually can understand.
Robbie Kramer [00:31:46]:
Yeah, well, that’s what we do in the events that we do. I’ll mic the guys up and follow them around on camera and get their approaches. But a lot of the guys will get those spy glasses where they can see or they’ll just record the audio on like an Apple Watch. And then we’ll help them with their conversation skills. And it’s embarrassing, but it’s the fastest way to get better at your communication skills and your ability.
Mariia Kramer [00:32:11]:
And also you can listen to how you speak. Maybe you have some problems with your speech, right? And you can take some how to say lessons to get better and more confident with your voice. Work with your voice. And that’s really important how people hear you, for sure, because your voice is so confident. And I always like it, how you speak.
Robbie Kramer [00:32:33]:
I used to talk like, hey, I’m.
Mariia Kramer [00:32:35]:
Rabbi, nice to meet you. And your voice is so good for the podcast because it’s so confident.
Robbie Kramer [00:32:43]:
Well, my voice has changed over the years because I’ve heard it and I’ve done a lot of this. Like anytime you can see or hear yourself, it’s uncomfortable at first, but then now when I see or hear myself, I kind of like the way I look and I sound, so that’s a good thing. But it wasn’t always like that. And I’ve noticed with most of the clients I’ve worked with, if they’re running a lot of nice guy energy, nice guy syndrome inauthentic nice guy. Of course they tend to speak higher. They don’t use downward inflections. They say, how are you doing? Obviously not that bad, but unattractive.
Mariia Kramer [00:33:17]:
I agree.
Robbie Kramer [00:33:18]:
So, yeah, work on your voice, work on your presence. If there’s one thing to take away from all these guys, they all had an amazing presence around women. And your presence is your ability to stay calm, cool, and collected under tension.
Mariia Kramer [00:33:32]:
Keep silence when it’s needed, don’t ask a lot of questions. Have good, confident voice and good fashion. Yeah, guys, if you like the video and girls, maybe girls are watching us.
Robbie Kramer [00:33:44]:
Too, take a photo of yourself going like this and post it in the comments.
Mariia Kramer [00:33:49]:
You can post pictures, just put the like.
Robbie Kramer [00:33:52]:
Send it to my instagram, Robbie Kramer. Send us a photo going like this.
Mariia Kramer [00:33:56]:
Press the like how do you say this in English?
Robbie Kramer [00:33:59]:
Smash that like button and follow. See you next time, guys.
Mariia Kramer [00:34:08]:
Bye.
Speaker E [00:34:09]:
I hope you enjoyed this week’s episode. If you’re new to the show and digging our content, please leave us a five star review on itunes, stitcher, YouTube, wherever you listen or watch. But if you’re not really digging it, go ahead. Just don’t leave us any review at all.
Robbie Kramer [00:34:22]:
That’d be great.
Speaker E [00:34:22]:
If you’re feeling a little bit stuck or you just want to optimize and step up your game, we’ve opened up a few spots in our inner confidence community. We’re accepting applications. If you want to join our select group of men and experience a radical power of accountability, cross everything off your sexual bucket list and just become a beast who gets more stuff done. To learn more and go to start Interconfidence.com
