241: Mastering the Social Game – Navigating Attraction, Status and the Role of Instagram
Transcript – Scroll To Bottom
Intro :
On this episode of Inner Confidence Podcast, host Robbie Kramer shares strategies to help listeners get more dates, build a thriving social circle, become better networkers, and design a lifestyle that others will envy. Throughout the episode, Kramer emphasizes the importance of confidence and not solely judging someone based on their financial status. He discusses the process of building a successful social circle, likening it to building a successful business, and highlights the challenges and rewards involved. Kramer shares personal experiences and insights on various topics, including the role of Instagram in building attraction, the impact of life events on relationships, and the significance of authenticity in the age of social media and dating.
Show Notes:
01:24 – What does it take to master the social game? – Find out here!
05:34 – Do looks really matter? – Host and guest go into it!
07:22 – Men don’t care about status! – Learn why!
09:28 – Is it about the way a man carries himself, or just the way he looks? – We answer this critical question!
12:53 – A guy has confidence but doesn’t have himself together. Does this matter? – Learn more!
13:28 – “I don’t want my man making less money than me” – Guest shares why it’s important to have a man with the same or higher income!
14:32 – If she’s not testing you, she’s not attracted to you! – Here is why…
15:31 – Why am I not getting shit tested? – Figure out why you might not get shit tested or pass unknowingly!
17:36 – Instagram = DATING – We discuss the importance of social media!
19:10 – “Just be yourself” – Guest breaks down how to pass the shit test the BEST way!
21:09 – The importance of choosing the right mentor! – What to look out for!
23:41 – Host shares his infamous secret phone pickup line! – FIND OUT this golden line that you use!
25:59 – Why is Instagram important for dating? – We explain why!
27:24 – What if she doesn’t follow you back? – Here might be the reasons!
28:23 – Guest shares her Instagram dm experience! – She has received a flood of messages in her inbox!!
29:43 – When do you follow a girl on IG? – Find out the right moment to follow her!
31:23 – JOIN the inner confidence community! – Here is how to join us!!
To listen to more episodes of the Inner Confidence Podcast, visit the links below:
Website: https://members.innerconfidence.com/podcast/
iTunes:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast…
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2zkWuTn…
RSS: https://members.innerconfidence.com/series/le…
And if you’re interested in learning more about my coaching services and connecting with me, check out these links:
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/Robbiekramer
Main Site: https://members.innerconfidence.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robbie_kramer/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@robbie.kramer
Thank you for tuning in, and I look forward to helping you build your inner confidence and achieve success!
Join us : https://members.innerconfidence.com/leverage/
Book a call with Robbie: https://start.innerconfidence.com/video1
#flirting #personaldevelopment #selfimprovement #innerconfidencepodcast #podcast #coaching #success #motivation #inspiration #mindset #datingcoach #relationshipgoals #confidencecoach #selfimprovement #successfulmen
Transcript :
Robbie Kramer [00:00:00]:
We pulled up her request and she’s got right now, how many? A lot.
Mariia Kramer [00:00:03]:
You need to be just confident to go and meet girls on the street.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:05]:
What do you think, baby? Do looks matter?
Mariia Kramer [00:00:07]:
Looks matter. Some girls like bald guys.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:09]:
Do you get turned on if a woman has a sexy job? There’s a lot of girls who don’t give a shit. Like my wife, she doesn’t care that I’m 17 years older than her. She actually finds that attractive.
Mariia Kramer [00:00:17]:
If the guy comes to me on the street, I don’t know who he is. Right? I don’t know anything about him. All I know, I will see he’s confident or I will see that he has no confidence.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:25]:
Instagram is dating and I’ll put myself in her phone and I’ll follow myself.
Speaker C [00:00:29]:
Welcome to the Interconfidence podcast, where we bring you men’s, dating and lifestyle advice that doesn’t suck. I’m your host, Robbie Kramer, a former collegiate golfer turned poker pro turned finance guy who became obsessed with learning about male female attraction and dynamics and passionate about teaching men how to improve and optimize their love life. Tune in each week and we’ll bring you the latest and greatest strategies on how to get more dates, how to build a thriving social circle that brings the best men and women into your life, how to become a better networker, and how to design a lifestyle that makes all your buddies jealous. If you’re new to the show, I recommend you download my First Date Protocol. It’s the best piece of content I have. It’ll help you optimize your first date and subsequent dates. And I like to connect with my listeners personally, so if you want to grab a copy of that, please send me a direct message on Instagram. I’m at Robbie Kramer. Now, let’s dive into this week’s content.
Mariia Kramer [00:01:24]:
Yeah. My personal opinion that you are right and it’s really hard. And a lot of guys, they’re thinking if they will sign up for coaching and they will be able get immediately nines and tens, they will throw parties and everything, right? But to get there, you need to do so much work. And initially, you need to be just confident to go and meet girls on the street. Right? You need to do so many approaches to get more confident and not just meet girls. You need to meet cool guys. Right? Because to throw party and have a good social circle, you need to have a cool guys. Right? Because cool guys create amazing energy. And when girls come and they see all those cool guys, they want to hang out with the war and they will invite more girls. And that is how you can meet someone.
Robbie Kramer [00:02:13]:
We can make the analogy that a social circle that’s really pumping and producing consistent, high quality new people. Like coming into your life, both high quality women and men. That’s kind of like having a really successful business that’s producing cash flow right. Every week, every month. And just kind of like sustaining all the benefits that the cash flow would bring to you. And of course, setting up a business like that is not easy. It’s really difficult, right? And the people who are able to do that enjoy the fruits of their labor to a ridiculous degree, right? If you can build a business that brings in consistent money, you can kind of make your own schedule, stop living paycheck to paycheck, stop trading your time for money. And the same thing is true with dating. If you can create a social circle that brings amazing women into your life, you can stop approaching, you can stop using online dating. You can kind of stop the traditional lead generation strategies that we all have to do to get there. But you can’t start there, right? You can’t just snap your fingers and have a successful business or have a successful social circle. And it’s really common to hear guys on the internet talking about like, oh yeah, it’s easy, fast and payless and quick because they want to sell their services and it’s bullshit, right. That’s not how the world works. It’s like to build anything what looks like an overnight success. You don’t see the thousands of hours, ten thousands of hours of time invested to make that happen. So anyone who says it’s easy is trying to sell you something. It’s not easy, but it is extremely valuable once you can build it. And the process of building it, right, it’s like enjoy the journey of building it because the destination is great too. But the journey, that whole process is one of the most, like, transformational processes a guy could go through. Because what requires you to do that is you need to transform yourself into a high value guy. And doing that requires facing rejection. It requires learning where you’re socially a little bit not up to par. You’ve got to really take a look under the hood at what you’re doing, the mistakes you’re making, how to improve on those mistakes, everything from your fashion to your body language to your conversation skills, just your social skills in general, networking, right? So there’s so much that goes into it. What you said is accurate. It’s not easy. But the road to getting there for me has been the most impactful thing I’ve ever done in my life, right? And that started with me approaching women on the street and facing rejection. Because to build that social circle, you still need to find your leads from somewhere, right? Like, either need to meet women through online dating, through the social circle you currently have through day game, through meeting women at night game. You want to say at the end of the day, you have this amazing pumping social circle where you got nines and tens and cool people and celebrities rolling through. But it all starts with humble beginnings. And I’m happy to dive into the sort of the step by step. Because that’s the part, I think, where guys realize, like, okay, there’s this destination where I need to be, but there’s this huge path and that’s overwhelming. And that’s annoying, or that seems like it’s going to cost a lot of money and everyone has their own sort of personal hang up. So happy to address any of those things as well. What do you think, baby? Do looks matter?
Mariia Kramer [00:05:36]:
Looks matter. And actually, a lot of when you.
Robbie Kramer [00:05:40]:
See a guy, what goes through your head?
Mariia Kramer [00:05:43]:
You judge the look. And it’s not about even like, guy being handsome or not. It’s about, is this guy attractive to you? Because all girls, no matter what they say, they immediately know they have sex with the guy or not. Well, they see the guy first. That’s why when you see attractive guy, you like him. But it’s not about is he bold or not?
Robbie Kramer [00:06:08]:
When you say attractive, what do you mean in particular?
Mariia Kramer [00:06:10]:
All girls have different types. I like older guys. Like shoe? No, I mean, we have 17 years.
Robbie Kramer [00:06:16]:
Old, different I’m 40. Yeah, 24.
Mariia Kramer [00:06:22]:
24. Can accept 24. Yeah. And I mean, some girls who like my age, they like five models. Everyone has different tastes. And if you see guys a guy and he is like, you like him, it’s great. That’s why if some girls like bold guys and she will see you and she’ll be like, oh my God, I want to have sex with this guy.
Robbie Kramer [00:06:46]:
Well, let me add my two cent and translate that a little bit. Translator whenever you kind of use one of these statements, does looks bad or does money matter? Right? That’s such a complicated thing that any one single answer yes or no is going to miss the mark, right? Because there’s so many other factors. The thing that women are most attracted to in a man is power and status, right? So if you can show that you’re a powerful man of status, doesn’t matter really what you look like, because they’re going to be more attracted to you than your physical appearance, right? Men don’t care about status, right? We don’t care about a woman’s status. Do you get turned on if a woman has a sexy job? We don’t give a shit. Well, it just goes into evolutionary biology, right? Like, women are attracted to a powerful man because he can protect their offspring and give them a comfortable, safe life. And we’re programmed from hundreds of thousands of years ago these like caveman instincts which don’t really pertain to modern day living, but it’s still in there. Like our our biology hasn’t caught in up with modern day life, right? And as men, we’re attracted to, like, primarily physical, who is going to give us offspring that are healthy and those sort of biological triggers. That evolutionary psychology, right? But when it comes to something like shaving your head, my whole reason was like, listen, you’ve got a balding head, which shows that it shows you’re a bit older, right? So it’s going to trigger those sort of feelings in girls. And there’s a lot of girls who don’t give a shit. Like my wife, she doesn’t care that I’m 17 years older than her and she actually finds that attractive. But if you have the option between balding or bald, right, bald is a choice that takes work. You got to shave it, right? Or you got to get an ear transplant if you want something up there. And I had a transplant, I’ll admit, because for me and actually, when I did shave my head and I was totally bald, I thought I looked pretty good. I thought I looked masculine and not bad, but I just really like having hair and my dad’s a dermatologist and I was able to get a deal. I love the feeling of having hair, so I’m like, that’s something I’m willing to invest in because it makes me feel good. The point is, women are going to respond to your confidence, so if you feel good with how you look in the mirror, they’re going to feel that, right? Versus if you’re clearly not taking care of yourself or doing something that will signal that you’re not high status or that you’re not a man who can put an outfit together or who cares about its appearance, those things are all going to make a negative impact on your first impression.
Mariia Kramer [00:09:28]:
When I say that men should be attractive, right? I didn’t say that he should be handsome. Like, I don’t care about this because he’s right. The status attracts women. And for me, what’s most important is the guys don’t seem thirsty because when they’re thirsty, you can read it immediately and you’re torn off. You won’t even speak to them. They’re tribal texting. They’re like, so, oh, I will help you with doing it. Let’s go there, let’s do this. Please hear her. Oh, my God. No. Fuck off. You see that he is busy. You see he has his own life, he has his business or something else. He has friends.
Robbie Kramer [00:10:11]:
We’re talking about first impression, though, like when you first see a guy and all of what you said is, I think, very much accurate. And also it’s like, I don’t think you know for sure you want to sleep with him. I think you know for sure if you don’t want to sleep with someone.
Mariia Kramer [00:10:26]:
Yeah, right.
Robbie Kramer [00:10:26]:
Like, you’re not going to see a guy. You might see a guy be like, boo, he’s hot. I would consider sleeping with him. Right. Obviously, to make that decision, you’re going to need a lot more data points.
Mariia Kramer [00:10:37]:
No, of course.
Robbie Kramer [00:10:39]:
Unless you’re just like really horny that night and all of the biology that’s happening, it’s that time of the month and it’s like you’re looking for the first guy to fuck. But most girls don’t operate like that, right?
Mariia Kramer [00:10:55]:
No, but it’s not about you all fucking the same day. It’s about for a future. You see him and you’re attracted to him. Obviously, when there is some creep guys, you will know immediately that you will never have anything with that person. I agree.
Robbie Kramer [00:11:14]:
I think for someone to reach a certain level of success, they’ve done the hard work to achieve that result, which is both the internal piece, the mindset inner game, you could say, and the external stuff, like everything you have to do, right? So for someone to amass a fortune and then lose it, the ODS of that person amassing another fortune are very high. You see it all the time, right? Like, if I know that, I could completely decimate my social circle, move to a different country and rebuild one very easily because I’ve done that before, right? It’s a path that already walked. So if a woman, like if Maria left me because XYZ happened, because I found the older guy, well, it’s suddenly my status decrease. Because we’re talking about a life event where your status essentially goes down, right? You lose all your money, you lose your circle, you lose your business, whatever, right? Like, in the short run, that’s probably going to be a challenge, right, for any man or for any relationship. But if the woman is, I think, truly in love, she’ll stick around because she knows that he’s got the characteristics to rebuild it in a better way. Right. If she didn’t really love him and she was just in it for the money or in it for the short term benefits and those benefits go away and she goes away too. That’s how you know that there wasn’t really anything there in the first place.
Mariia Kramer [00:12:45]:
And I think it’s good because we won’t start with the person till the end of your life. It does matter in different way. Because if the guy comes to me on the street, right, and meet me and I don’t know who he is, I don’t know anything about him, all I know is I will see his confidence or I will see that he has no confidence and it’s how I judge him, right? Maybe I like his look. He was really confident, he liked me and I like what I saw. And I will agree to go, right? And after, if you have feelings, you have feelings, you can change it. But obviously if you make some amount of money, right? I make money. I don’t want my man make less money than me because I have my lifestyle and I want us to share at least the same lifestyle. Or I want us in the future have even higher lifestyle, right? I don’t want to go down. And if he earns the same amount of money with me, it’s fine.
Robbie Kramer [00:13:48]:
So I think what would happen in that situation is you’d give this guy your instagram and you would then judge him against the competition right? And as time goes on, maybe you go on a date with him and then you find out he works at McDonald’s, and then you go on a date with another guy who’s got basically all the same characteristics, but he’s a CEO of a fintech company. Right. You’re probably going to choose the fintech guy when all of the things are equal. Now, if this McDonald’s worker gives you like the most mind blowing orgasms of your life you’ve never experienced before, now you got a tough decision to make, right?
Mariia Kramer [00:14:27]:
Definitely.
Robbie Kramer [00:14:33]:
I don’t think you need to tell her. I think she’s just going to do it anyways. Yeah, she’s a beautiful woman. She’s already trained.
Mariia Kramer [00:14:40]:
It’s already inside, you know? Either way, like, think about this.
Robbie Kramer [00:14:42]:
You’re testing them already because they have to women have to develop the skill of weeding out men at a very early age, because the second they’re beautiful, they start getting an insane amount of attention. This will happen at like 1314 years old. And when you’re getting bombarded with that attention, the only way to tell who’s legit, who’s worth your time is to develop these mechanisms to give these guys tests, to see so beautiful women, by the time they’re 1819, they’ve got this bitch shield up. They’re icy cold, a lot of them, and they’re just like, walking shit testers. And guys think like, oh my God, she’s shit testing me. That’s bad. It’s like, no, that’s good.
Mariia Kramer [00:15:24]:
Yeah.
Robbie Kramer [00:15:24]:
If she’s not testing you, she’s not attracted to you. She’s already decided that you’re not with. It depends on the situation. I think if someone think you feel.
Mariia Kramer [00:15:36]:
A lot of the time yeah, you.
Robbie Kramer [00:15:38]:
Might just be so good at passing shit test, they might not even register to you. Because the best way to pass most shit tests is to just kind of laugh it off or pretend like that nothing even happened. The other thing too, that could be happening is women might notice, okay, this guy’s very high status. I don’t need to test that, right? I might need to test something else that I’m trying to gather information on. But all this is happening on a very unconscious level, right? Like, if a woman walks into my social circle and let’s say I’m single and I’m hosting a big party, we’ve got a bunch of Playboy models there and she knows it’s my party, she’s probably not going to shit. Test me because I already have so much status that if she tries to shit test me, I’m just going to ignore her and walk away. Let’s say she comes over and she’s like, oh, look at you, you’re such a playboy. Right? I would just be like, okay, if she’s flirting and teasing, that’s great, right? That wouldn’t really be what I would kind of consider. A test is usually a test is usually where they need to try to figure out if you’re high status or not, right? Or if you’re a certain way that they’re trying to avoid. Right? Like, if she’s really dead set on finding a husband and having children, very soon she’s going to test guys to see how much of a player they are, right? So if she’s on a date with you and she notices that you’re well dressed and you seem to be very smooth, she might be like, she might test you on the back that you’re like a player, and she’s like, oh, look at you. You’re such a player, right? And she’s trying to figure out if you really are. And if you start saying, like, oh, no, I’m not a player. I’m a good dude, blah, blah, blah, you failed a test, versus if you’re just like, yeah, I had sex with like, twelve women before we met today. Which is a great way to pass a test as you exaggerate and certify the answer yes, and which is kind of an improv technique, right? So then she’s like, okay, yeah, he is a player, but he doesn’t care, so totally. I mean, authenticity, especially now, is kind of a pivotal time for authenticity because what we’ve seen, especially on social media and dating, is like, Instagram is dating, right? Instagram is everything that’s kind of social. And what we’re seeing on Instagram is a trend away from the like, look how cool I am. Look at the awesome shit I do, because it’s easy to fake that stuff. They literally have, like, setups where you could go and make it look like you’re getting on a private jet and get Instagram videos and photos when you’re not. It’s just purely people are understanding that that’s happening so much, it’s becoming not that cool. And what is becoming cool is people who are authentic and can post content that shows that authenticity and that shows that character and that humor and that humanness, right? And when you can do that, you’re now resonating at a higher frequency and level than the rest of those people who are just like, look at me, look at me. Trying to brag. And Instagram, in my opinion, is like an essential dating tool, right? Like, if you’re not on Instagram, you are kind of like out of the dating game. It’s that primary tool that women use to message guys back and forth. If you’re trying to date casually, which every guy should spin plates, right? Spin a lot of plates and then pick the best one is kind of the idea. But if you’re not using Instagram to show that lifestyle and to show that authentic version of you, you’re operating with one hand behind your back.
Mariia Kramer [00:19:06]:
Yeah, I just wanted to go back for a second and say, what make guys to pass the sheet test? It’s to be yourself and not pretend. Right? Because a lot of guys, they will pretend to be whatever the girl want till they fuck her, and after they’re like, okay, I’m not actually that guy because I already warned you. Yeah, we had sex. And it’s really bad that the girls have all those shit tests because there are a lot of guys who will pretend and say everything that the girls want to hear. Does it to be yourself? Like when I met Robbie, right, he was a total fun boy. He had all these parties, tons of girls, and he wasn’t changing for me. He would invite me on parties when he was making out of his three girls. And he asked girl for this crying and looking at this because she wants to get back together. And I was just like, oh, my God. Okay, bye. I’m going home. Right? But he wasn’t pretending, and I still was attracted, even though I was, like, hating him. Who is that guy? Fuck him. But in the same time, I was like, I kind of like him. I don’t know. Right? But after when I showed him what I want, right, because I wanted to get married, be in monogamy relationship and other stuff like that wasn’t interesting for me. And when he saw that and he understood that if he really likes me, there is no way that he can continue that lifestyle, right? And we got together. Now we’re in monogamous relationship, right? But it went through the things that he was never pretending, and I knew who he was before, and he wasn’t hiding it.
Robbie Kramer [00:20:38]:
We’re talking about a lot of theoretical things, which is super important. And if you have any questions about more so tactical things or very concrete, what can I do today to improve my confidence? What can I do today to improve my social life, my dating life, my options? Happy to go into any of that stuff as well because I’m a huge believer in the fact that we need those concrete building blocks. Otherwise, where do we get like, having all the theory without application doesn’t really do a whole lot of good. Anytime you’re trying to choose a mentor or a coach, it’s so important to choose. Or a therapist, it’s so important to choose somebody that you can relate to that’s kind of walked the same sort of life journey. Funny story that recently happened is my sister was in a very long relationship with a great guy, and they’d been together for like, ten years, and she was like, put a ring on it, or else I’m going to go find someone who wants to. And they were both going to therapy. And then he started going to a therapist. And the therapist he chose was like, a 32 year old woman who was just out of therapy school, who was not interested in monogamy or long term relationships. And he was taking advice from her on what to do. And he ended up not committing to my sister. My sister walked away, and now he’s desperately trying to get her back because he realized he made a huge mistake and he’s like, I’m so stupid. Why did I take advice from this therapist who does nothing, cannot relate to whatsoever? And it’s like, you see those bonehead mistakes happen all the time, and it’s so important, like, which mentors you choose? I had one therapy session by the I’ve gone to many therapists, but up until I was about 30, 31 years old, I had never been to a therapist. And I was confronted with a decision where I was dating this girl. I really liked her, thought she was wife material. But I didn’t feel like I was ready. So I was doing some research, and I’m like, okay, I need to find a therapist who is really good with girls who’s had a lot of success in the past, a very sexual sort of person, because that was what I was dealing with. And I found this amazing guy. He was like a 50, 55 year old dude, New York City. And within, like, I walked in, he asked me a bunch of questions about my past, and he’s like, Robbie, you’re an athlete. Your game is meeting women. And you’re not ready to retire. So you can do what Michael Jordan did. You can try to retire before you’re ready, but you’re going to want to go back off the bench and play, and that’s not going to be good for you or grip with the girl. Like, holy shit. That is amazing advice because it’s exactly how I felt. And I broke off that relationship. I wasn’t ready. And then eight years later, when I was 38, I was. But I did a ton of legwork on choosing him because I knew he was qualified to give me advice. So my advice is, well, if you’ve been talking for seven and a half minutes and you know she likes you, just get the number. And after you get the number, let me grab your number. You’re putting the number in the phone, right? And then as you finish, be like, actually, I don’t even know why I just asked you for your number. I’m like, primarily messaging, doing everything through Instagram. I’m guessing you have instagram. You’re not living under a rock, right? And she’ll be like, yeah. I’ll be like, all right, give me your phone. Easier for me to type it in. And I’ll put myself in her phone, and I’ll follow myself. If it was a shorter interaction, like, maybe you met her on the sidewalk. One of my favorite things to teach is just like an elevator pitch, sidewalk approach, right? See a cute girl on the sidewalk, run over. Hey, not to be that creepy guy that late hits on you on the sidewalk, but I got to be that creepy guy. I’m Robbie. Looks like you’re in a rush. I’m late to a meeting. How about this? Give me your number. If you don’t like me, give me fake one, right? That’s it. That’s all. So I’m typing the number in my phone, get the number, and then as I finish, I’m like, I don’t know why I just asked you for your number. I’m always on IG I’m sure you’re on IG. Let’s trade IGS instead. Right? And then I’ll be like, Let me enter it in. I enter it in, follow myself. The fake number line is hilarious. The whole, Give me your number. If you like me, you can get a fake one. That’s a situation in an interaction that can cause some tension, right? And you want to always build tension and then release tension. That’s how attraction works. So in that situation where it’s a little bit awkward to ask someone for their number and you use the fake number line, it releases that awkwardness with that laugh, and it’s going to build attraction in that situation. It’s great. I love that line, but it’s not funny to say, give me your Instagram. If you don’t like me, give me a fake one. Yeah, because you’re playing on that whole social thing of, like, a fake number, right? That’s the whole joke. So in a situation, maybe the first situation where you’ve been talking to the girl for a long time, you already know she’s into you, blah, blah, blah. Maybe you don’t even get the number. Maybe you’re just like, are you more on IG, or are you more of a texter? And she’ll say, oh, I’m on IG and you trade IGS, right. You follow yourself.
Mariia Kramer [00:26:01]:
Can I give my perspective about instagram? Why is Instagram more important for a girl perspective? It’s when you meet someone outside, right, and you change your numbers or Instagrams, right? You don’t know that guy. Maybe he’s a serial killer. And all girls trust me, it can be hilarious for you guys, but it’s true. All girls are thinking, Is he a normal guy? What is he doing? Maybe he’s a serial killer, right? And when you exchange Instagrams, you can go to his Instagram. You can see he texts some friends. You can go to those friends. You see it’s real people you see. That everything. You can see his social circle. Maybe he posts something from his work. He travels there. He posts his, I don’t know, little niece.
Robbie Kramer [00:26:44]:
Or you can tell he’s not a weirdo.
Mariia Kramer [00:26:46]:
You can tell he’s a serial killer, and that’s how you will go out with him.
Robbie Kramer [00:26:50]:
But the real beauty of having the Instagram is it allows you to build attraction without showing direct interest. Right? If I post a story of me doing something cool and interesting or authentic that we were talking about earlier, she’s going to see that. And if she likes it, well, now I know that she probably likes me. If she’s consistently liking all my posts, well, now I know I can ask her out. She’s probably going to say yes. Versus if I’m just texting with a girl back and forth, she doesn’t see what I’m doing. I don’t. Have any that information and I’m operating very inefficiently. Yeah, if she doesn’t follow you back, that’s typically a signal that maybe there’s not a lot of interest there or maybe she just got really busy and forgot about it or something.
Mariia Kramer [00:27:35]:
It’s me. I don’t follow my friends because a lot of people follow me all the time and I don’t even see and after they can tell me, oh my God, you didn’t follow me for like three months already. And they will be able to say, sorry, I didn’t even see they will follow you right now.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:51]:
But you do look at all of your DMs, right?
Mariia Kramer [00:27:54]:
Not like once a week.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:56]:
Okay, but do you look at all of them or not?
Mariia Kramer [00:27:58]:
No, sometimes I just look in a few of them.
Robbie Kramer [00:28:03]:
This is kind of an interesting thing because I know some girls that will literally look at all of their DMs and some who won’t. And this is obviously very attractive women who are getting a shill out of DMs. So if you still send her a message, there’s a decent chance she’ll look at the DM and open it. Right.
Mariia Kramer [00:28:20]:
I mean, when I was single, I would look to all of them. Now I’m married, I would look all the requests because it’s just interesting. Who is writing you? And it can be like so many messages, whether you just would go and sometimes when people you start speaking to them like some guys and they kind of creepy, I will put them to general. And I never go to general. I never respond to anyone that’s like when I speak with someone and the person is creepy or annoying, I will put the person to the general.
Robbie Kramer [00:28:48]:
We pulled up her request and she’s got right now how many? A lot. I think when girls are single and they’re looking to date, more often than not they’re going to check that folder. So, yeah, if you have the opportunity to put your IG and her phone and follow yourself back, that’s better. You can’t always do it. Right. But I mean, that’s why you can get a lot of leads, right?
Mariia Kramer [00:29:18]:
Yeah.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:18]:
That’s why you should be meeting a lot of women all the time. So when one of them doesn’t work out, it’s like you don’t even remember, you don’t even care.
Mariia Kramer [00:29:25]:
Yeah. If she doesn’t respond because a lot of girls, they wouldn’t even see the message. It happens. She got like hundred message that day. She didn’t have time to went through all of them. She went through like 1st 50. She responds some of them and she forgot about the other ones.
Robbie Kramer [00:29:45]:
If she responds to the message, I might right. If we have a dialogue going, especially if she’s private and I have to follow her to see her stuff, then I’ll follow her. But yeah, if she’s messaging me and I don’t think it’s super important that I follow her. A lot of people have those tracking apps that tell you who’s following you and who’s not.
Mariia Kramer [00:30:05]:
Yeah, I have it, and I always unfollow people who unfollows me, and I hate them. I was like, Why did you unfollow me? You don’t like me? Okay. Fuck you, bitch. Unfollow. I actually have really old app that doesn’t exist anymore, but it still works on my phone and it’s absolutely free. And it’s amazing.
Robbie Kramer [00:30:24]:
All of those apps are so glitchy and scammy. From an inner game perspective, it’s better to not even give a shit. Yeah, right? Life is short, right? Like, just focus on putting high quality content out there and the right people will follow. My whole thing on Instagram is I want to be a content producer, not a consumer. Every minute I spend on Instagram looking at other people’s stuff makes me feel worse. I don’t know why, but it’s like.
Mariia Kramer [00:30:49]:
No, because everyone is pretending to show better life, and you’re like, oh my God, their life is better. They have more bags, they have more trips, they have that.
Robbie Kramer [00:30:57]:
And you feel that you’re I never look at the discovery or the search on Instagram. I only watch stories of the people I know and the people I follow that have good content. Right? I follow all my clients to see the stuff they’re posting, to give them feedback, obviously, my friends and family. But I’m not looking on that discovery page or any of that. I’m only on Instagram to do that, but I’m mainly on to post my own stuff. Or if you’re interested in any sort of coaching, you can just go to Innerconfidence.com, find the podcast there, find everything there. Even if you want to work with Maria to improve your social media and.
Mariia Kramer [00:31:35]:
Fashion, helper’s instagram and fashion, happy to help.
Speaker C [00:31:40]:
I hope you enjoyed this week’s episode. If you’re new to the show and digging our content, please leave us a five star review on itunes, Stitcher, YouTube, wherever you listen or watch. But if you’re not really digging it, go ahead. Just don’t leave us any review at all. That’d be great. If you’re feeling a little bit stuck or you just want to optimize and step up your game, we’ve opened up a few spots in our inner confidence community. We’re accepting applications. If you want to join our select group of men and experience a radical power of accountability, cross everything off your sexual bucket list and just become beast who gets more stuff done. To learn more and apply, go to start Innerconfidence.com
