244: How To Be The Best She’s Ever Had – Secrets To Dominance & Overcoming Insecurities in Bed
Transcript – Scroll To Bottom
Intro :
In this episode, we’ll be diving deep into the secrets of dominance and overcoming insecurities in bed. Buckle up, because we’re about to explore how to be the best she’s ever had w/ Andrew Mioch. Throughout our conversation, Andrew opens up about his experiences, offering relatable and concise advice on sexuality. From his encounters at sex parties to his reflections on open relationships, Andrew shares his insights on navigating the complexities of intimacy.
We’ll also discuss the vital connection between emotional well-being and sexual performance. Andrew challenges conventional notions of attractiveness, emphasizing the importance of emotional connection and a woman’s sexual vitality.
Andrew will also touch upon personal growth, integrity, and the journey towards becoming a better lover. From addressing premature ejaculation to dealing with difficult conversations about herpes and other STI’s, we’ll explore valuable techniques and strategies for enhancing sexual pleasure and connection.
So grab your headphones and tune in to this captivating episode of the Inner Confidence Podcast. Whether you’re seeking advice on dominance, emotional connection, or understanding the multifaceted aspects of sexuality, this episode is packed with valuable insights that will leave you feeling empowered and ready to level up your intimate relationships. Let’s dive in!
Show Notes:
02:49 – Guest introduction – This is how our guest became an expert in sex and dominance!
06:09 – “I don’t want to be an 18-year-old virgin!” – Learn our guest’s biggest fear and how he could easily get girls but was sh*t in bed!
11:26 – Size does NOT matter! – Guest opens up about having a above average junk and how it does not mean sh*t!
15:50 – STOP misinterpreting being DOMINANT! – Here is why…
22:35 – “I realized I could have anything I want without cheating” – Guest dives into his past cheating and his realization moment!
24:59 – “I was so nervous with a whip in my hand” – This was my first ever kink party…
27:49 – “We swapped partners, and he made her squirt!” – Host shares his first squirting learning experience!
29:22 – Squirting 101 – We teach you how to make a woman squirt!
35:21 – “Be nice, but with a backbone!” – Guest shares how to be dominant but playful at the same time!
36:05 – Be silly! – This little secret will open women up in the bedroom!
36:47 – How to handle a first time squirter! – Guest breaks down step by step how to ease into a first timer!
43:11 – Be INTENSE! Or she will throw you in the water! – Learn how to be consensually intense!
44:27 – I wish a guy would tell me to shut the ** UP! – YES women want this! Learn why!
45:21 – The ULTIMATE GIFT for a woman is your PRESENCE! – Guest explains why!
47:35 – It’s YOUR fault! Take responsibility!
49:03 – Women need a man that can take them out of their heads! – Learn why!
49:59 – How do you deal with herpes? – Guest shares his story and lets you know how to navigate through life with herpes!
52:46 – “When I’m uncomfortable, I can’t get it up” – We open up about sexual dysfunctions and how to deal with them!
56:27 – “She’s about to go down and I say STOP!” – Learn how to bring up herpes with your sexual partner!
59:53 – DON’T just say it! – Learn when it’s the right moment to bring up sexual dysfunctions!
01:04:09 – “What do you say to the guy who can’t last long enough in bed?” – Guest gives his excellent advice on this matter!
01:13:06 – It’s not a woman’s external hotness that’s going to give you an erection! – Here is why…
01:21:50 – The importance of honesty… – Be HONEST with your partners about your sexual desires and problems!
01:27:08 – “I kept a Viagra pill in my pocket, but I never used it” – The placebo effect! It’s all phycological, it’s in your HEAD!!
01:32:11 – First threesome! – Host shares his first threesome story, and it didn’t go as expected…
01:34:3 – Don’t be afraid to talk about sexual dysfunctions! – People are too worried about what others think!
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Transcript :
Andrew Mioch [00:00:00]:
Can’t get it up. Coming too quickly, getting walked over by their partner. There’s no sexual polarity.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:04]:
Guy hooked up with his girl, he hooked with mine. He made her squirt. I’m like, Dude, show me how you did that.
Andrew Mioch [00:00:07]:
I’ve got chlamydia four fucking times. Caught herpes.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:10]:
If I had a dollar for all the times I’ve heard from women, I just wish a guy would tell me to shut the fuck up.
Andrew Mioch [00:00:15]:
I’d be rich, have my cheek on her pussy.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:17]:
She’s like, So what do you guys think of Night? Like, threesome?
Andrew Mioch [00:00:18]:
Robbie is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met, but he has a backbone. That’s the difference.
Robbie Kramer [00:00:23]:
Welcome to the Inner Confidence Podcast, where we bring you men’s dating and lifestyle advice that doesn’t suck. I’m your host, Robbie Kramer, a former collegiate golfer turned poker pro turned finance guy who became obsessed with learning about male female attraction and dynamics, and passionate about teaching men how to improve and optimize their love life. Tune in each week and we’ll bring you the latest and greatest strategies on how to get more dates, how to build a thriving social circle that brings the best men and women into your life, how to become a better networker, and how to design a lifestyle that makes all your buddies jealous. If you’re new to the show, I recommend you download my First Date Protocol. It’s the best piece of content I have. It’ll help you optimize your first date and subsequent dates. And I like to connect with my listeners personally, so if you want to grab a copy of that, please send me a direct message on Instagram. I’m at Robbie Kramer. Now let’s dive into this week’s content. Yo, guys, we are back, and today we have an amazing returning guest, and we’ve got a very cool episode in store for you guys. We’re going to talk about sexual dysfunction. How to be the best she’s ever had, even dive into some crazy shit like how to tell your partner or your potential partner if you have an STD or herpes how to last longer. How to deal with sexual dysfunction, getting it up, not being able to last long enough in bed. We’ve got an amazing expert here. He’s been on the podcast before. And that’s Andrew Miyak. Andrew, thanks so much for being here, man. It’s always an honor to talk to you.
Andrew Mioch [00:01:52]:
Appreciate it, man. It’s always good to be back. Yeah.
Robbie Kramer [00:01:55]:
Andrew. And that’s Andrew Miyak. Did I pronounce it right?
Andrew Mioch [00:01:59]:
Miok.
Robbie Kramer [00:01:59]:
Miok.
Andrew Mioch [00:02:00]:
Yeah. Miok. That’s correct. I can imagine some of the last names you’d have to pronounce in Ukraine, man.
Robbie Kramer [00:02:09]:
It’s the stress of where you put the pronunciation on the know. It’s like Andrew Miyok or Miyak. Right?
Andrew Mioch [00:02:21]:
Completely.
Robbie Kramer [00:02:22]:
Now that I’m back in America, I really have no excuse. But anyways, dude, I’m really excited for this conversation. We had a great conversation last week where you were interviewing me, so I’m excited to dig in know, for the guys who don’t know you, can you just tell us your story? How’d you get into this crazy world of becoming an expert on sex and dominance and becoming the guy you are?
Andrew Mioch [00:02:49]:
Yeah. Again, great to be here. And in short, my story is this. I got told all shit in bed to running sex parties to helping thousands of guys. That’s basically in short, and it’s been a fucking wild journey, an absolutely wild ride. I never thought I would be in this position, sitting here now, talking about this. And when I first thought I was learning about sex, I thought it was freaking weird. Like, why am I going to learn about how to be good in bed? Because I already thought I was good in bed. And hence, that’s why I will jump into the story of when I got into this. I was in the world of dating, doing all that stuff. I thought I was okay at meeting women because that was never my obsession. Like being in the world of pickup back in the day, doing that. But I’m like, this just isn’t me. But I wanted the skills to meet women, so I wanted to really learn how to get women to the bedroom so that I can explore. I saw it started for me when a woman got to the bedroom. That’s the difference where dating coaches, they’ll teach you how to get a woman to the bedroom and their journeys, like, how to obsess over that. My obsession was like, once a woman’s in the bedroom, how can I blow her mind? So my story, in short, I don’t know how much you want to go into it, but I just never forget the day. I was cocky, brash. I thought I was the man. Ex drug dealer. The reason I’m saying the drug dealer part is because I end up getting caught and didn’t go to jail. I got 100 hours of community service. I was hanging out, like, club promoting. I was a fucking bad dude. I was a piece of shit in a lot of ways. I had no integrity. Going to nightclubs. I’d have three monogamous girlfriends. Doesn’t even make sense. I was fucking a married woman.
Robbie Kramer [00:04:45]:
I was a piece of shit, too, for a long time.
Andrew Mioch [00:04:48]:
Yeah. I was like and her best friend going to the nightclub. I never forget this. Robbie I was at a club with one of my monogamous girlfriends. I waited for her to go to the toilet. So she’s like, I need to go to the toilet. She’s like, all right, I’ll be here. And wait. She went to the toilet, and I fucking ran to the bar. We were already kind of on the dance floor. I ran to the bar and then just walked up to these two women who I just saw, went there quickly and started making out with the woman. So I’m cheating on one of my monogamous girlfriends. While she’s in the toilet for a minute, she comes back, fucking whacks me across the face. I was like, what did I do wrong in my head? Of course I can do this. And then we went back to the hotel, and I’m walking down the street, she’s whacking me all the way home. What the fuck’s wrong with you? I deserved it. But that was the chaos I was in, man. Bikers, drug dealers, fucking club promoters, all the crazy shit. Dude.
Robbie Kramer [00:05:45]:
Let me back up a second. So when you got into pickup, I guess in the beginning, were you, like, a recovering nice guy, romantic, and then you became kind of like this bad boy?
Andrew Mioch [00:06:01]:
I had a lot of insecurities and a lot of validation. That’s where I came from. I want to learn the skill of meeting women and having sex. I actually lost my virginity when I was 17 years old. I was like, If I’m 18 and still a virgin, this is where my headspace was back then. I’m a fucking loser. I don’t want to be a loser. So I ended up losing my virginity at 17 and a half years old. I’m like, thank God I’m not 18 and a virgin. And then I lost my virginity. I was so bad in bed. Like, fuck.
Robbie Kramer [00:06:32]:
You could get girls, but you felt like you were shit in bed when you started.
Andrew Mioch [00:06:38]:
Yeah, I was okay at meeting women, but then I just, like, learned. I was okay at naturally meeting women, but then I learned, like, I read the book game as you did, and then I got worse because I felt like I knew nothing. And I had to learn all these skills and techniques, which is valid, like, understanding the right skills and techniques. But it’s a lot of stuff I wasn’t doing into the right principles. I end up doing some dating company, and a lot of it was quite terrible advice. It was just kind of like, a lot of vibe where I’m like, I actually need some hard skills and techniques to actually learn. But I just learned the vibe. So then when I did that, I was like, Fuck, I feel more confused. So that was more of the journey. So guys who are listening to this now, you’ve got Robbie, and there’s so many there’s actually a few quite really good dating coaches out there. A lot of them are shit, but there are really great guys who really nailed this as the art of what it is. But for me, I lost my virginity, and I just got told. I was like I was shit, man. I think I lasted a minute. I was like, I got a condom. I was, like, glow in the dark. And I put that on, and I lasted, like, a minute. But here’s the crazy part. When I had sex with this woman, I lasted, like, two, three minutes. And then I got obsessed with the glow in the dark condom. The next day she goes to a movie. She goes to the movies. She works at the movies. And when she there, my brother we look like twins, me and my brother, even though we’re not. He walked up the stairs holding another woman’s hands. So she’s thinking, I just slept with this guy the night before. And then he comes to the movie with a new woman. So she thought it was actually me, but it was actually my brother. And then she cracked it and all this shit. So it was crazy. And here’s the thing. You know, one of my first mentors who got me into all this is Shay Matthews. You know that? From lifestyles.
Robbie Kramer [00:08:18]:
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Mioch [00:08:19]:
And the first woman I ever slept with, her name was Shay. So I’m like, what a fucking crazy Like I’m like, it must have been written in the stars.
Robbie Kramer [00:08:27]:
Oh, for sure. Yeah. That’s too coincidental, right? Where you’re like, was that a glitch in the Matrix sort of thing? Well it’s interesting how you kind of approached it because I see this a lot with the guys I work with where I’ll basically teach a guy to kind of start having some abundance, get him on a bunch of dates, help him optimize the dates. But a lot of the time those guys will self sabotage because they’ve got all this anxiety around the bedroom stuff. And I’ll be like, dude, why are you basically fumbling on the five or 1 YD line all the time? And then I find out they’re like, well actually I’m really insecure about I’m not lasting long enough, or bedroom insecurities. And that bleeds all the way through to just like the first impression, saying hi. Right? If you know that you’re shit in bed and you’re anxious about that, why bother doing anything else? Is that kind of right? Is that how you felt when you.
Andrew Mioch [00:09:28]:
Were it’s like this what comes first, the chicken or the egg? If we go to that analogy, I see how many men I want to focus on my dating life first. But then they know they can’t get it up, they’re going to be shit in bed, they don’t know what techniques to do and they’re just feeling so insecure about that. So what they’ll do is they’ll actually self sabotage their own dating life.
Robbie Kramer [00:09:51]:
Totally.
Andrew Mioch [00:09:51]:
And then they won’t actually have the sex they’ve wanted because they go, well, they won’t talk to the women they really want to, or they’ll talk to women below their standard just because they would be like, well, there’s no point talking to the women I really want, because then when I get to the bedroom, I’m going to disappoint her. And how can I give you an overview? Just a really high level overview. I’ve got chlamydia four fucking times I caught herpes. Which you can’t get about 30% of people actually have herpes. Then also just like cheating on women lying. Like, multiple relationships. It’s just like open relationships, closed relationship, like living in little hippie communes with women and just fucking crazy shit, man. Just stuff where it just formed who I was as this man with sexuality. And the biggest thing, one of the everyone’s like, what’s the one thing? There’s so many things that led me on this journey of sexuality, but one of the main things was when a woman told me I was shit in bed because I was a selfish lover and I was trying to be the man. I was okay at meeting women. I’ve never been phenomenal. I’ve always usually met a lot of women through social circles or I’ve been pretty good at going out and meeting people at certain events and stuff like that. But I had enough skills with women that I could meet the women I wanted to, so then I could develop and learn all about the sex. But when I met this woman, when I was doing the community service, we had sex. And I’ve never shared this publicly because this will sound like a brag and sounds like I’m just some fucking douchebag, but I don’t care. I’m sick and tired of just holding this back. So you kind of know, in Australian culture, you kind of know where you are on the size spectrum. When you were hanging out in a football club with your mates and stuff like that, it’s different to American football. It’s Australian football. And then at school, you kind of know where you are on the scale. The reason I’m saying this is really fucking clear because I hate when guys say, you’re only a sex coach because of this. So I realized that I was a little bit bigger than average than most guys. I’m like, cool. I’m on the bigger spectrum. But the thing is, when I first started this, this woman, she goes, yeah, you’re a bit bigger, but you still shit in bed. So it didn’t actually fucking matter how big I was. I’ve never said this fucking publicly ever, because I didn’t want to sound like that dickhead going, I’m using this as status to go get women. I’m not at all. I got fucking told that I’ll shit, even if I was, like, on the bigger side. So when guys go, arts all about the fucking size, I’m like, well, if you fucking one inch, I get that completely. But most guys, they watch too much porn and they see this guy with this huge ten inch fucking thing, and they go they compare to that instead of going, Hang on a second. I got told all shit. Even though of the circumstances I had, it’s completely relevant that’s like, I got to figure this shit out. And that’s where I met Shay all those years later. And then that took me on a journey in depth about this stuff. I’m like, okay, it’s so much more than size, even though that’s important to a degree, but it’s not the be all and end all. And for myself, when I went and explored this, I learned so much about emotional connection, sexual connection with the woman, how to really eye open up, how she can open up. And then I went on this obsessive journey. I lived in a house in Melbourne, in Brunswick. We called it the Barclay Brothel because it was on Barclay Street for one year. Me and two other buddies, we lived there and it was just like a bit of a revolving door. And we’d learned so much about women from that perspective of like they would be like, oh, you’re the best year I ever had. You’re the best I ever had. That’s the reason. The book. I’m going to send you a copy soon, Robbie, like, the best you ever had. We got that so fucking many times women would say that or, you’re amazing. You know what you’re doing. I’ve never had an orgasm like that. It would be like clockwork. And we’d hear patterns and we’d repeat this, and we used to run sex parties from this place and we’d hear the same thing and it’s just like, okay, there’s a pattern to this. There’s a method to the madness about how to be a phenomenal lover and how to have women consistently have those responses. So we kind of gamified the whole process. When I say gamified, actually just understood the building blocks of what it is to be that character, of that man who can give a woman those experiences consistently. And hence, when guys go, oh, can I be good and better? I’m like, it’s easy. Like, I’ve taken guys who are virgins to threesomes, et cetera like that, or guys who are in similar positions to married. It doesn’t really matter. And it’s just a fucking crazy world if you allow yourself to learn this process, if you want to. And there’s so many men who feel fucked up and broken and they’re living lives of suffering and quiet desperation where it’s like, you don’t need to. And the easy part is actually there’s two stages to it being the best she ever had. Stage one, like, learning all the techniques, and that’s actually really quite simple. Stage two is how to become that powerful masculine leader inside and outside the bedroom. Then when you get better at this, your techniques will get better, because the more safe and comfortable and non judged a woman can feel inside the bedroom, and she just feels like she can say anything. And if I give you the tagline of the company, the Mission, it’ll make sense. It’ll elevate the sexual well being of humanity so men can have mind blowing intimate experiences with women they care about by opening their hearts and connecting deeply with themselves. As a result, becoming powerful masculine leaders inside and outside the bedroom. Now, how do we do that? We do that through the SQL method. Which is helping men embody their soft. They’re silly and they’re savage, and I can dive into that more in a second.
Robbie Kramer [00:15:50]:
Yeah, I like that a lot. I saw that on some of your videos. You’re talking about that because guys get very hung up on this whole idea of being alpha and being dominant and being masculine. And a lot of the time they get so caught up in that, they lose the playful, the silly, the fun, the fun loving, because they’re traumatized from being nice guys for so long that they swing to the other end of the spectrum and then now they’re just this kind of like inauthentic fake dominant dude, right? And it’s part of the journey, of course, but I love that you’ve baked that in ahead of time so guys can think about that. Like, no, if you’re going to be these things, you can’t just throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Andrew Mioch [00:16:37]:
But most guys don’t even know what dominance is. That’s the thing. They’re confusing dominance with Domineering. And when we have a confusion of a word about how to be dominant in the bedroom with a woman, then guys just go, oh, fuck. So if I look at it as a high level overview, dominance is this, dominance is leadership, leadership is service, service is love. So dominance is actually love. I care about this woman and I’m going to serve her. And irony is, when you serve her so freaking well, she will want to do anything for you. And you’ll get to a point where women like, I’m yours, do whatever you want to me, I don’t care.
Robbie Kramer [00:17:18]:
Because in the BDSM community, from what I’ve heard, and correct me if I’m wrong, like in the BDSM community, they say the submissive is really the one who has all the power. You’re serving the submissive, right? And if the submissive feels 100% taken care of and she feels like the dominant one is in control, then she can truly submit. Right? So it’s not this idea of dominating her, it’s the idea of serving her, essentially, is what I’m hearing you’re saying.
Andrew Mioch [00:17:54]:
Yeah, it’s not being Domineering, basically. Dominance is this. Dominance is we both win, domineering is, I win, you lose. So that’s the difference as well. If you look at Persuasion, it’s the same thing where I am persuading her and I’m connecting deeply with her. And persuasion is like, I’m doing everything in my power so then we can have this connection. So then we can do certain things in the bedroom because I know it’s going to be in benefit of you and who you are as a woman. And our connection manipulation is purely domineering. And I’m doing all of this purely for my benefit and you lose, which is essentially fucking like we’re talking about the R word, RA the rest, depending what platform it’s just men are trying. If you’re just doing this purely for your own vanity and your own delusional perspective to fucking cause harm to other women, you’ve got other problems. And I do not condone that whatsoever. And completely, what you said, Robbie dominance is the deepest care, and the person who’s actually in control is her. And this is when I’m with a woman and the current woman I’m with, I’m talking about it’s. Her needs come first to make sure they’re met. Then it’s my wants, then that’s it.
Robbie Kramer [00:19:29]:
When you started, you got that feedback that you were shit in bed, and that’s because you were putting your needs first, you were being selfish. What did that look like?
Andrew Mioch [00:19:41]:
It’s a great question, because there’s two aspects. There’s the king and then there’s the prince. Or you can say the boy and the man. And when you’re just the prince just trying to put your needs first to go, oh, I’m going to be the man. I’m going to try and do this for validation. I’m going to do this to be fucking great in bed, and I’m going to do this to prove to her you lose. But if you’re doing it from a kingly point, like a real, true masculine leader, if you don’t like the word king, because that word gets thrown around so much, like a masculine leader, I’m doing this to fill my own cup. And when a woman can truly feel that you fill your own cup sexually, and you’re going, this is what I want to do. And you’re coming from a place of the nice guy with boundaries. That’s what I like to call she can feel the difference in that. Like, I’m doing this because this turns me on. But I also want to know what turns you the fuck on. Because, truly, to be the best she ever had inside the bedroom, you have to be the best you’ve ever had. It’s the same with personal development. It starts with you, starts here, and a lot of men going, I’ll be great for her. That only lasts to a certain amount. But when she can really feel that you let go and you’re there and you’re not trying to hold back your sexual expression, she’s like, oh, my God. And the biggest thing you can give a woman is your presence, your care, and the depth of the man who you are. And when she can feel that, holy fucking moly. That is like more of a kingly, like a manly thing. But then the boy’s like, how can I take just from this interaction? And that’s it, and it’s all about you. So it’s a very fine line. But then when that fine line is danced very well, a woman like, wow, he’s coming in there and he really wants to do X, Y and Z in the bedroom. And then when he can do that, everything has the baseline of care, and I’ve got your back. But then he cares so deeply about himself and his sexual expression. And then when you do that, she will feel how comfortable you are with your sexual expression, and that will be a mirror for her to be comfortable and more open about that as well.
Robbie Kramer [00:21:44]:
Now, so if a guy’s listening and you touched on this earlier based on the fact that you were trying to improve at this stuff, but you were kind of like in three monogamous relationships at the same time, right? So you were leading girls on or cheating or doing that. If you’re trying to become the best she’s ever had, I think it’s important to kind of first have a pretty good idea of does that goal fit into what you’re currently doing?
Andrew Mioch [00:22:11]:
Right?
Robbie Kramer [00:22:12]:
So how did you kind of rectify the path that you’re kind of like this asshole player improving your sex skills, but at some point you had to kind of stop the way you were operating from an inner game perspective or just also from a tactical perspective? How did you make that shift and what did you tell yourself to what did you do to kill that dissonance in your brain?
Andrew Mioch [00:22:36]:
I guess well, there’s only two reasons we change. Isn’t it because of pain, moving towards or moving away from you? Right? I’m like, I never want to go through that again, dude. I got to a point. There’s a few points on my journey, and I just got sick and tired of cheating. I cheated on quite a few women. This isn’t like, oh, do I have to cheat on women? I realized I could have everything I wanted without cheating sexual. Like, oh, hang on a second. No, I can only have this lifestyle if I cheat. But realistically, I didn’t have to do that. And I was like, Just so much pain, man. How many more painful experiences do I have to have of women going, you’re a piece of shit? Losing friends, losing certain communities, people going, I don’t want to associate with a man like you. And I can see where they’re coming from because I was just in for my own needs. And it was only like, really two years ago now, man, that I go, Enough is enough. That’s why the transition of SQL has been like, cool. I can learn. I can be an amazing lover in the bedroom and be fucking great, whatever. But that’s only one aspect of it. But then I’m like, I want to really develop the character and the man who I am, man. I had two ex girlfriends. They shot a podcast on me basically going, Andrew, you’re a piece of shit. And I can see their perspective because I was cheating on them. Then they connected on how I cheated on them both. And I’m like, I don’t want to be that man. So hence, I was like 180 fucking pounds, 175 pounds or some shit, and I was skinny and I was like, all that stuff. I’m like, I don’t want to be this man. Anymore. I just don’t want to do that. So basically I got a haircut and everything changed. No, I just want to change everything, mate. I just like to go I want to be that man of integrity work and look in the mirror and go it’s not all about just being great in the bedroom. It’s not all about just giving women experience. It’s not all about just running sex parties. It’s not all around just hanging around, hanging out with degenerate pickup artists. I don’t give a fuck about that. I don’t want to be associated with that. I want to be of a man of integrity. I want to have really great women in my life, and I don’t want to have dysfunctional fucking cocaine relationships. Cool, man. Everyone’s like, man, having women. Some of the shit, dude, it wasn’t just, like, doing doggy style. Some of the stuff I don’t know how much explicit I can be here, but when I first go ahead, think about this. When I first went to a Kink party, man, I went there. I was so fucking nervous. I was wearing a black T shirt like this, wearing black pants. I had, like, a little whip in my hand, fucking terrified out of my brain. Terrified. Seeing this shit go on, like, what the fuck? Where?
Robbie Kramer [00:25:16]:
This is your first party?
Andrew Mioch [00:25:18]:
Yeah, first party. I’m like, what the hell?
Robbie Kramer [00:25:21]:
How did you end up going there? You were nervous to go there, or what was the backstory?
Andrew Mioch [00:25:27]:
I met a connect. It was actually Shay connecting with a mentor. And this guy will be unnamed for this because we had a bit of a falling out, but it’s like we connected. Went to the party together. He just took me. He showed me the ropes. I didn’t know what BDSM was. I’m like, this is some weird shit. My mentorship was this part of it like, early days was I would go to the Kink parties. I hold a little whip and see someone tied from the ceiling. I’d be shitting myself, bro. That’s how fucking far I’ve come. I’m like, what the hell is this? Having no sex toys. And then I remember at this Kink party, this guy who was teaching me, he would have, like, fucking five to nine women sometimes lining up to show him what for women to have experiences with him. And then he’d make these women squirt and shower the fucking audience in squirt. I’m watching this, going, this is ridiculous, bro. And I’m holding, like, a sex toy. G spot vibrator. I’m sending you one of those soon inside of a pussy, the exact one that I love. There’s so many on the market, but this one holding it in there while he’s doing whatever he’s doing to her. And I’m just like, embarking. So that was my mentorship, and he’s, like, talking, like, say this to her. He’s, like, teaching me about the depth of emotional connection, how to really open. Up with her, how to do the actual technical aspects.
Robbie Kramer [00:26:46]:
So all this stuff, everyone’s like hands on training?
Andrew Mioch [00:26:49]:
Yeah, everyone’s like, what books did you read? I don’t think I’ve even read. How many books have I read? I’ve read very few books on sexuality because I didn’t care about what’s sex therapy that’s beautiful. Sex therapy, people who do that or what’s the anatomy of the clitoris and give me all the details or a doctor’s point of view. Mike, I don’t care. I just want to learn how to give women great experiences, because then I’ll feel better about myself, and then I’ll be the fucking man from being told all shit in bed from that woman. Then what ended up happening, man, it was like I just dived into that.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:24]:
So you just learned quite literally from doing by someone showing you what to do?
Andrew Mioch [00:27:31]:
Bro, I remember when I was learning with the whip back in the day, I would be at his fucking house, they’d be to put on music, and he’d just be watching me whip this pillow for fucking hours so I could learn how to do it better.
Robbie Kramer [00:27:45]:
There’s this hours, Mr. Miyagi. Wax on, wax off. Well, it’s funny you say that, because I was dating this girl back around the time I was like 31, 32, and she was bisexual. And she was like the first girl I really explored consistent threesomes. And we started going to sex parties and that sort of thing. And we started going to some of these parties and squirting. That’s kind of like the fun parlor trick, right? It’s like everyone gets excited when someone’s squirting. So I just assumed she wasn’t a squirter because I couldn’t do it right. And I’d watched squirting tutorials before, and I had a pretty good idea of what I was doing. I thought. And I had accidentally made another girl squirt, but I don’t think I did it. I think she was already a squirter. But one of the guys at the sex party, we swapped. Like, I hooked up with his girl, he hooked with mine, and he made her squirt. I’m like, dude, show me how you did that. So he’s going in there, and I’m like, oh, you put the pressure there. And he’s like, yeah. Then he’s like guiding my hand and showing me. And then I’m like, I unlocked how to do it. And then after that, once you kind of get it, it’s like riding a bike. Obviously, women are different, but yeah, that hands on literally changes everything.
Andrew Mioch [00:29:06]:
That’s why mentorship for me was the most powerful part of this. I had about six to eight mentors when it came to sexuality. And I just go, I want to learn everything I can. And yeah, the squirting party is amazing, man. I ran one of my first sex parties. I ran I made four women squirt for the first time within two minutes. If you listen to this, like, how can you make a woman squirt? It’s actually not just technique. The technique is the easy part. It’s like, just this. That’s it like Spiderman I talked about, you hit that, you don’t move your finger. You actually move your arm, and you can actually you hear that sound. You hear that, and you know it’s game over. I did that, man. But the thing is, for me, it feels like such a blast from the past. In a way. It’s like, this stuff’s fucking easy now. I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but it’s so much deeper than that. When you really tap into this, when you learn all the techniques, you make a woman squirt. Cool. I was obsessed with that because I’m like, I want to learn that I made a woman squirt. You make her come multiple times. She says you’re amazing. But then you get to stage two, which is, like, how to come become that powerful masculine leader inside and outside of the bedroom. And you do the techniques as well with the woman you fucking deeply care about. God damn. But it doesn’t matter what journey you’re on. I don’t really care, but I’m like I really want to harp on the best way to really facilitate amazing technique with her is the depth of the connection that you’ve created. The technique can only go as far as the connection that you’ve created with the woman. It doesn’t mean you have to be married with her the rest of your life. But that is why, when I was at that party and I made four women squirt for the first time in under two minutes, there was, like, a room of fucking, like, sometimes ten to 15 guys watching. And it’s like, how can I allow a place where she can relax? And I’d say stuff to her like, hey, do you want to do this? Are you sure? Yeah, I do. Hey, just let you know, there’s no one here but me and you. I got you. Yeah. If you squirt, you squirt. If you don’t, you don’t. But I just want to let you know fuck, you’re so sexy. Oh, my God. Do you know how hot it’s going to be? Just touch your pussy and play with you like this. And I just can’t wait to do this with you. I don’t care. Just me and you. Yeah, just me and you here. No one else. Do you want to start? Yeah, let’s start. So I’m doing this, and there’s, like, fucking 1015 people around watching. And then she would squirt, because it’s like the connection I created straight away. And I do the technique, and I know the spot to hit, and it’s like, wow, I’ve never done that before. Because most guys are just trying to just do the technique, and that’s it. But I really learned the depth of emotional connection and sexual connection as well, is super important. And then the techniques are rocket fuel. And that’s where I feel like SQL is a lot different in that respect. And then also allowing her to tap into her deepest softness, silly, and the savage. And when she can feel that, you can tap into those as well. It’s fucking game over, man. It really is game over. And that’s why we’ve had mutual clients that we’ve worked with together. And they just I was so funny when you said the other, like, some of your guys like, can I post Andrew shit on your group? Is this cool? Of course, bro. Do what you want. But I might be saying it sounding blase when I’m speaking about this, but it really gets to a point where you go, it’s not a big deal, and it’s easy. And then you realize the depth of the connection that you create with the person who’s in front of you and how you feel as well in the sexual experience that you’re having. Not just like, giving her the experience. Everything will change. Everything will change.
Robbie Kramer [00:32:39]:
The interesting thing I really like what you said when you said the savage, the seductive, and the silly. Those three.
Andrew Mioch [00:32:46]:
Soft, silly savage.
Robbie Kramer [00:32:47]:
Yeah, soft, silly, savage. Right. What that reminded me of is when you encounter a woman, you don’t know what mood she’s well, obviously you should be looking to see what sort of mood is she in? How am I going to connect with this person? Right? What you described before was a girl who’s at a sex party who’s obviously she’s got to be somewhat sexually liberated to be there in the first place. Right?
Andrew Mioch [00:33:11]:
Cool.
Robbie Kramer [00:33:12]:
But if you just walk over and you’re like, I’m Mr. Fucking Squirtmaster, I’m.
Andrew Mioch [00:33:15]:
Just going to.
Robbie Kramer [00:33:18]:
She doesn’t have that connection yet. So essentially what you demonstrated was like, all right, how can I create this container where it’s just me and her, even though there’s all these people watching? How can I kind of go into that bubble with her and get her to feel comfortable with me? And then that can lead to us opening up, right, or us having this amazing experience versus maybe there’s another girl who she’s in a silly mood, right? And so you connect with her through the silly, and then that’s a different kind of inroad in. And that’s why I love essentially those three s’s. Because you’re not going with the same fucking plan every time. You’re not Johnny, Mr. Squirt Arm going to try to essentially do that all the time, right? It’s like, all right, where is she? How can I connect with her? And then how can that lead us down this journey of connection?
Andrew Mioch [00:34:11]:
Yeah, I can give you a demonstration right now, not an actual physical demonstration of making a woman squirt, but I can actually take you through the soft, silly savage of how it could be of making a woman squirt. So you can go through all those different energies, man. I can actually break that down, which would be, I think, be very helpful for the men listening on this so they can see what it is.
Robbie Kramer [00:34:31]:
Yeah, let’s do it.
Andrew Mioch [00:34:33]:
So just with a high level overview, what the soft, silly savage and how that came to fruition? The soft is like, how can you it’s all love. These are all love. It’s not like one’s savage like, oh, my God, that’s not love. No, they’re all aspects of love and being caring. And you’re right, it’s the calibration of what she needs in the moment. And then maybe you’re both feeling more of a silly mood. When it comes to softness, men don’t open up, don’t be emotional. But when I really break down the framework, it’s more about how can you be that nice guy with a backbone, nice guy with boundaries? And there’s so many things I can.
Robbie Kramer [00:35:09]:
And just to be clear, this applies to not just when you’re in a sex party for people listening. Some guys are very literal. They’re like, oh, is this only if.
Andrew Mioch [00:35:16]:
You’Re in a sex?
Robbie Kramer [00:35:17]:
No. If you’re on a date or if you meet her through your friends, it’s for all of it, right?
Andrew Mioch [00:35:24]:
Yeah. This is my life’s work of inside and outside the bedroom. How can you be the soft, silly savage inside and outside the bedroom? So when you’re inside the bedroom, it’s like with the softness, how can you have that open heart, deeply connect with her, be gentle, be super vulnerable, stuff like that. But then what happens is these movements where it’s like it gets lost, where it’s like just be vulnerable and just open your heart and don’t cry.
Robbie Kramer [00:35:45]:
You tell that to a bunch of nice guys, they’re going to and then you’re in trouble. Simple over the place.
Andrew Mioch [00:35:49]:
So then that’s why it’s fucked and that’s why I see these movements. But then they go the opposite. I’m just going to be a douchebag savagery. There’s a difference between being a boy savage and being a king savage. So the boy is just like fucking throwing all over the shop and like, yeah, be the fucking man. Do that. Get on your fucking it’s like, whoa, what the fuck? Opposed to calibrate, like picking up, throwing it down, get on your fucking knees now. And really having that more aggressive, primal fight. It’s like allowing that fucking wild man to come out inside of you. And then the third aspect is the silly lot of very logical men get stuck in their mind thinking they can’t be playful. A woman needs that playful and it’s like a deep part of connection. So then when you can be playful, it allows you to actually your whole body to relax and not get so stuck in the moment and thinking it has to be so serious, this sexual encounter. It’s a very high level overview about this, but you get what I’m saying now when it comes to the bedroom, same with a woman and she hasn’t squirted for the first time. So what I’ll do is I’ll just have a conversation with her and I’ll be like I’ll rest my hand over her pussy just like this. My hand will be just gently because it feels very because most guys just quickly try and go in there as quick as they can, even when they’re fingering her. I’ll just have my hand resting over a pussy. I’ll even do this, have my cheek on her pussy. And I’ll just rest there and just connect with her a little bit. And then I’ll just go and speak in a ram like, hey, I’ve got you. So I want to let you know I’m here. We don’t have to do anything. Now I’m being really soft. I just think you’re really brave for doing this. And I just want to take our time and I really just enjoy the woman who you are. And my God, I can’t wait to play and explore. Oh, my God, you’re so fucking cheeky, aren’t you? So then she’s like, oh my God. She’s laughing a little bit, like, hey, I’m here. If you want to stop, you know how to stop. And you might feel like you’re going to pee a little bit. Don’t worry, it’s not pee. I’ve got you. I just think you’re such an incredible woman and I care about you. I’m saying this to her. I’m like, look at that fucking booty. And if there’s people at the sex party and they’re watching, look at that fucking booty. Do you know how jealous these men are going to be? That’s fucking mine, all right? Is that my booty? So then I’m making a little joke. I’m making you feel comfortable. I’m being really soft. I’m letting you know how much I care. I’m like, I’m here for you. And then we do that. And then when I put my finger in, I put my finger in a pussy. I don’t go two fingers straight away. I just put one finger and just do on the outside. That’s called inner circle on the outside of a pussy. And usually that’s really good. Usually don’t give a woman a pussy massage before just making a squirt. But then when I’m on the inside, I start building that up. And I’ll be pushing her into the bed. And when I’m pushing her into the bed, I’m really building that up. I’m like, oh, my God, you feel so fucking good. So I’m talking to him like, oh, my, your busy so fucking wet. Oh, God. And I even do this. So hot. When you put your fingers inside a woman, and then you put your fingers in your mouth and you taste it. And a woman’s like and when you taste it, you don’t want to get kind of lick your fucking tips. You’re like, you want to fucking taste like god, you taste so fucking good. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You serious? You taste so fucking goddamn oh, my god. Fuck. What am I going to do with you? So that’s more of a savagery. So she can feel that animalistic fucking expression. Like, you just fucking taste so good. You have no idea what I’m going to do to you. Get the fuck on the bed. Oh, my god. So I’m playing around with these dynamics of the fucking soft, silly savage. Then after I do that, I could slow down again. Like, look at this fucking sexy body. Look at this sexy body. The woman who you are. And I keep going. And I might need that savage. I fucking hold on. Hold on. I’m going to make you fucking I’m going to make you fucking squirt. Could you hear that noise? And you’re like, I’m going, fuck. Come on, let it go. Let it fucking go. And then she’s like, let it fucking go. I’m like, keep going. Keep going faster and faster and faster. I feel like I’m about to pee. You’re not going to pee.
Robbie Kramer [00:39:38]:
Let it go.
Andrew Mioch [00:39:38]:
And then she fucking tense. Release. It’s not like fucking she’s squirting all over the walls. Usually just fills up your hands and then goes all over the bed. It’s like tension. Release. Go there. Close with her. Hey, how you doing? That was so fucking sexy. Pull her in close. Whispering her ear. That was so fucking sexy. My God. Oh, my fucking God. You taste so good. Take your time. Take some deep breaths in, all the way to your belly. Take another deep breath in. Really embrace this whole moment. Yeah. Fuck, what a woman you are. God, that was so sexy. So I’m constantly letting her know how fucking you’re safe. You’re sexy. I appreciate you. There’s nowhere to be. There’s nothing to do. This whole fucking thing, it’s a journey when guys you’re playing with these three.
Robbie Kramer [00:40:35]:
Energies, you’re flipping from one to the other. I think that’s so important because guys get so stuck in one way of being right. It’s so important to kind of figure out like, all right, well, which energy does this girl really resonate with, right? Because it’s like some are really going to as you are creating essentially that container for her to feel comfortable and for her to feel sexy and kind of that slower, softer energy. I guess it’s like some girls are really going to need that. And then I’ve been with a lot of girls who are like, they’re all about fun. And it’s just that playful. The silly energy is the one they’re going to really resonate with. And it’s like the thing that I would be concerned because knowing guys who watch content on the Internet is like, okay, I’m going to do it exactly like Andrew. And then they fuck it all up because they’re totally being disingenuous, right? They’re like, oh, I thought I was right. And it’s like, no, you have to remember the three energies and then actually be there present with her like you said, and know which one is necessary.
Andrew Mioch [00:41:54]:
Yeah, it’s a high level overview as well. Just be watching. I just wanted to do that. I don’t know why the conversation led to here, but this is the stuff.
Robbie Kramer [00:42:02]:
I was pretty turned on.
Andrew Mioch [00:42:05]:
That’s all I try to do. That’s all that matters. But this is like my life’s work. And we usually help men go through this for a year long program or like a really intense five day retreat. So if you’re not getting the fullness of it now, it is completely fine.
Robbie Kramer [00:42:22]:
Those retreats look wild, by the way. Those look know the trailer you have on your YouTube with that mean? First of all, the girls are incredibly beautiful that you bring, which know, I’ve been in the game forever. And they used to have these events up in San Francisco. And it’s like the girls that they always got to these things are like, I don’t want to be any part of that. You get what I mean? So I was really impressed. That video showed all of these dynamics and these energies. And it just looked like an amazing transformational retreat that those guys were on.
Andrew Mioch [00:43:03]:
Thanks, brother. And yeah, this is the key, the soft, the silly, the savage inside and outside the bedroom. And when you tap into that, women will feel that. Because when you tap into that for yourself, it allows a woman to tap into that naturally and 100% just want to let everyone know it is consensual. Everything I’m doing is consensual. You might go, well, this is intense, but sometimes a woman might come at you with this really fucking savage energy. And if you’re coming in with a soft energy, what’s going to happen? Is she’s going to blow you out of the water, bro.
Robbie Kramer [00:43:33]:
Yeah.
Andrew Mioch [00:43:33]:
So if a woman’s coming like at me, I’ve had women come like, fucking like, say, yeah, what do you got? What are you going to do to me? You know what I literally do in that fucking position? I’ll run my hand through the back of her really quick, pull her fucking hand down. Like, you have fucking no idea what I’m going to do to you. And then I’ll pin her against the wall. Or I’ll grab her by the fucking throat and drop her to her fucking knees. I’m like, shut the fuck up. And she’s really turned on in that moment. So that’s one I said, or I could do the caveman, which is like she’s like there. She’s like, yeah, what are you going to do to me? I literally push her on the shoulder. A little bit of a playful push. She’s like, well, okay. Then I pick her up and throw her around and I slam her on the fuck bed. And then I pin her down. I’m like, you have no fucking idea what I’m going to do to you. Just lay there and shut the fuck up. And it’s like, whoa. And she’s like, God, you get me. He just gets me. This is why it’s so fucking backwards with fucking attraction, where people are like, that sounds rapey. I’m like, what the fuck? But it’s all if I had a.
Robbie Kramer [00:44:30]:
Dollar for all the times I’ve heard from women, I just wish a guy would tell me to shut the fuck up. I’d be rich.
Andrew Mioch [00:44:38]:
Because.
Robbie Kramer [00:44:42]:
There’S so many women who play this dominating domineering. They’re like that at work because they have high powered jobs. Feminism has created this sort of archetype of women. And that woman, she wants to be told to shut the fuck up. It’s so hard for her to find that guy in a loving way, of course, but with the energy that you brought I had an ex girlfriend, literally, tell me the other day, this new guy I’m dating, he’s great. He actually tells me to shut the fuck up like you used to. This is amazing. It’s so hard to find.
Andrew Mioch [00:45:14]:
Yeah. But the thing is all underlying this, it’s all love and care and contextual as well. You got your relationship, your partner, you know what she wants. I know when I’m with my partner and I’m like, yo, get on your fucking knees. And we’re going to play it’s like, oh, thank God. So what the ultimate gift you can give a woman is your presence and your care and your love. And what this does with the presence she can get out of her head and stop thinking about day to day things. I got to do this. This masculine pursuits. How can you go be here? It’s all just me and you. Breathe. And I’m leading her through this experience. So sometimes I might walk in the door, see the woman I’m with, push her against the wall and make out with her so fucking passionately, like, you have no idea what I’m going to do to you later. Now go to the fucking bedroom and go on all fours and wait for me. It’s like this level of leadership and a little thing that a little tip that I can give you when you’re with your partner. It’s like fucking hilarious. I love doing this one. It’s so like a dominant frame. Like, tonight, babe, we’re going to be ready by 07:00. Leave your panties in your purse at home. You’re taking that role. This is why I say dominance is leadership. And if we really tap into that, how many men are just not leading? They’re not taking lead. You can lead a woman through softness, silly and savage. It’s not about like, you have to tell her to shut the fuck up and get on her knees. And that’s the only way you lead her. You lead her by holding her hand when you’re walking down the street. You lead her by holding your hand on top, not underneath, and going, where are we going? Today? What are we doing? Like, what the fuck is most men doing? This is what’s crazy shit. This is why women not turned on. That’s why their pussies aren’t wet. That’s why they don’t want to fuck you. That’s why they won’t drop to their knees. That’s why we’ve been on retreats, bro. Hilarious. When the women on my retreats are brutal, but the guys need to hear it. Last retreat. One of the guys like, yeah, Isabel, I want you to get on your knees. And she’s like, no, you get on your fucking knees. Because she didn’t feel the fucking it was true. That what he was saying. So it’s like, we’re going to hold these men to high levels of deep accountability of who they are. Because if not, this is a training ground for the real world. And we make sure that men go through this in depth fucking process. Because most of the time, men are just going to get on their fucking knees because they don’t have that backbone and they don’t have the confidence in actually saying it in a way that’s actually going to turn the woman on or she doesn’t trust his fucking leadership in the inside and outside the bedroom. Hence, she won’t drop to her knees and goes, your fault you haven’t had a blow job, budy. Your fault that she’s had fucking bad sex. It’s all your fault. And guys don’t want to take that responsibility.
Robbie Kramer [00:47:50]:
Well, you have to start with taking that responsibility because it’s like, you don’t get to just be dominant in the bedroom, right? If you’re like a simping nice guy the rest of the time. And then you’re like, oh, I heard this podcast, know, Andrew and Robbie were talking about telling a girl to shut the fuck up and get down in her knees. You go, try that in the bedroom and you’re not embodying that guy in the rest of your life. She’s going to laugh in your face and be like, oh, yeah, sure, buddy. Good luck with that, and walk out of the room. Well, that shit I learned on a podcast sure didn’t work.
Andrew Mioch [00:48:20]:
Yeah, women like that all the time. But the thing is, Robbie, I’m going to say for this, robbie is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. But he has a backbone. That’s the difference. And that’s what women respect. But this is where guys get the pole opposite. They go, nice, and then they go complete fucking douchebag, but they don’t go, I’m going to be so loving, gentle, kind, and compassionate and caring to the woman. And then I’m also going to have a backbone and I’m going to set boundaries and I’m going to have expectations, and I’m also going to fucking care about myself to not fucking deal with bullshit. And there’s like this internal boundary that’s set, and women can feel that. Then you can say what you want because she goes, this guy I respect this guy. And what most women need is just a man who just allows them to get out of their head and into their body and completely just surrender, going, I don’t have to think that is the key.
Robbie Kramer [00:49:22]:
Yeah, that’s extremely hard for them to find, because you have to be a grounded, confident, masculine individual to be able to let a girl essentially relax into her feminine. And it takes a lot of growth to get there, depending on where you’re starting. For me, it took me fuck, I don’t know, to be able to do that consistently. Maybe seven or eight years. I mean, I was stumbling around in the dark for quite some time, but that’s a journey in itself. I wanted to switch gears a little bit. I know a lot of guys. I pulled some of the guys in my community. And what you talked about earlier and what you shared so authentically and bravely about you contracted herpes, and how can guys navigate that? Because that’s got to be difficult.
Andrew Mioch [00:50:17]:
Yeah, great question. When I first found out I had herpes, man, I bawled my eyes out. I called a budy, and I just go, Fuck my life’s. Fuck, I’m never going to have sex.
Robbie Kramer [00:50:27]:
Did you know how you got it?
Andrew Mioch [00:50:29]:
I don’t exactly know because it was on and off for quite some time, but I didn’t really know it was herpes at the time. Like, what is this? And then I realized when I had it when I talked, because I’d go out and get tested and I wouldn’t have anything on the test. But then this keeps popping up, so I didn’t really have a lot of information about what it was back then because I never really looked into STDs. I just wanted to learn how to be good in bed. So everyone’s like, oh, well, you’re a sexual educator. You should know all about this. I just didn’t only know now because it purely affects my life, and I balled my fucking eyes out. I thought my sex life was fucked forever, but then I’m like, okay, how can I sit with this now and know I’ve got this? So does 30% to 40% of the population, around 30% on average, most of the studies have said. But most people don’t ever want to talk about it. 95% of the population has a cold, sorsaw which is the same thing, but it’s either up here or down there. So how many times do I get a coleslaw a year? I don’t even know. I can’t even remember the last time I got that. I can’t even remember the last time I had an outbreak on my genital. So it’s more about way you can bring this up with women. I can talk about the whole script, so to speak, that I use when I am communicating with a woman for the first time and what is her fears and stuff like that, that she might get passed. On to her and all these things, so I can talk about that. But then also the emotional aspect of herpes herpes is actually connected deeply emotionally to you. So if I feel like I’m really stressed or I’m feeling like maybe I shouldn’t connect with this woman, I might have an outbreak beforehand because I’ve come to terms with because if I’m really relaxed around a woman, I won’t get an outbreak. But if I’m really fucking stressed or maybe I don’t feel like this is the person I should be with, I’ll get an outbreak. Or maybe you might be watching this and you go, but I just with a woman and an outbreak happens because I really like her, then you’re going to have to have a conversation. And what I’ve realized is the women I’ve spoke to about this, they are so fucking cool about it. It’s the way you frame it and the way you come across, and then the way you break it down with her. And that’s everything.
Robbie Kramer [00:52:49]:
Yeah, let’s get into that.
Andrew Mioch [00:52:51]:
Cool. And, yeah, I did feel fucked.
Robbie Kramer [00:52:55]:
I did piggyback on what you said. I feel like you could apply what you said to a lot of sexual dysfunction as well. When I’m uncomfortable in a situation sexually, I’m not going to be able to get it up. I’m in my head, right? I stumbled around for a long time feeling like there was something wrong with me in that department. It was like, no, I just wasn’t comfortable, right? And I was trying to do all these things to make her comfortable, but I’m not comfortable. So I needed to figure that stuff out. I need to be like, oh, well, you can’t just be all about her, right? The stereotypical Jewish nice guy who’s just like the obsessive lover. Like, I’m so not selfish. I’m almost selfish, if that makes sense. It’s like, you want her to come so bad and you want her to have this experience so bad to validate yourself, right? So it’s a kind of backwards thing. But it’s so interesting what you said because, yeah, if you’re uncomfortable, your body’s going to have that reaction. Like, your body’s not going to cooperate if your head’s not on straight 100%.
Andrew Mioch [00:54:00]:
And 90% of the time for a premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation, which means you just can’t come even if you try. It’s emotional and mental. A lot of guys I talk to, can you get it up by yourself? Yes. How’d you go with your past partners? Can you get up? Cool. And you got a new woman in your life and you’re like, I can’t get up. I’m something wrong with me? I’m like, no, it’s the connection. Your cock is connected to your heart in your head. That’s it. And the story is all around that. And we’re trying so hard. How can we make a woman feel comfortable? But you said it right, man. How can we feel comfortable. So the thing is, everyone’s like, oh, Andrew’s this fucking sex god and blah, blah, blah. I’m like, if I’m not comfortable with a woman, I’m not going to get her up. I need to build that comfortability and that connection. Because the more I’ve gone in this journey, I need that so much more. And if I’m with a woman now and I’m connected and comfortable, I’ll hear her voice and I’ll get a boner. That’s the difference. I’m sure that’s similar for you, brother. And like, all the other men out there, they can probably relate, but then they think they’re fucked up if they’re with a new woman and they’re not completely comfortable. And they have to be having this rock hard boner because that’s their value and worth as men, which is not. So when I’m with a woman for the first time, will I get it up straight away? It depends if I feel really comfortable. And then number two, it is my due diligence to bring up herpes as much as I can kiss a woman right now, just for an example. And I don’t have a coleslaw at the same time. You can only contract a coleslaw if you fucking have one at the time and give her a kiss. But when you have general herpes, it’s the same thing. When you have an outbreak. That’s the only time you can transfer that. But it’s my due diligence to be able to express this to the woman so then she can make an informed decision if she wants to continue or not continue in this sexual connection. So you can get a hand job and stuff like that, but anything that is swapping saliva. Then I do bring this up, and I’ll give it with a story, a few stories, and I think that will encapsulate how I did this. And I’ll give her a really tough I was with this woman. I really liked her, man. Really fucking liked her. And I haven’t told her about the herpes yet. Like, oh, God, we’re getting to the bedroom. She’s like, I want to go. I’m like, I was playing with her, giving her an experience, and she had a really good time. And then the next night, I went to her house, and then she’s like, I just want to please you tonight. I want to give to you. And I’m like, fuck, I’m in the bed. And then I’m like she’s about to go down, and I’m like, can you please stop? And she’s like, what’s going on? And it got to this point because this was one of the first times I said to her, like, hey, this is really hard for me to bring up. But I want to let you know this is not you. I’d love you to go down to me right now, but I just want to bring something up. This is my situation. This is my sexual health. I contracted this a while ago. I don’t know where it is at the moment. I don’t have an outbreak, which means I’m all good. But at the same time, there could be a possibility that could be passed on to you. And I’d hate for that to happen, but at the same time, I want you to make sure that you’re making an informed decision for yourself. And if you want to continue, you can continue. But if you don’t, I completely understand and respect your decision. And I just sat there. And then you say that you got to fucking sit with the tension, because she could be like, no, I’m not down, she said, and you know what? She looked at me, man. She goes she looked at me. She goes, you are so fucking cool. I appreciate you so much, and that is completely fine. Thank you for letting me know. And I’m so happy to continue. And I just started crying, man, because it was like, this is the fucking depth behind it, guys like, oh, fucking just tough guy like this. We’re all fucking got a heart, man. And I just cried because I’m like, fuck. She sees me and she accepts me for who I am. So that was one aspect, and I’ll give more of an aspect about, like, a one night stand. So I had more of, like, a casual relationship with this woman. And she was Russian, so her English wasn’t the best. So I wanted to make sure that she knew actually the whole parameters of what it was. I never forget she’s at my house, and I’m like, hey, before we’re making the sex symbol with my hands, this is on a podcast. I’m like, before we do this, I have to let you know something. And I’m speaking a lot slower shit like this. I’m like, I have something on my penis. I drew on the fucking whiteboard. I’m like, at the moment, my penis is good. And I’m like, there’s no dots. Sometimes it gets dots and not good. Then we can’t have sex. Now it’s good, but here it’s not good to have sex. And then I’m like, Would you like to have sex still? She’s like, okay, let’s do so. We end up having sex. But I just explained that to her and really broke that down. There’s no easy way to have this conversation. And that’s the thing a lot of guys are looking for the easy conversation and best way to do this. I just let women know. I’m like, Here it is. Here’s what’s happening. Here’s the chances of you contracting if I have an outbreak, I’ll let you know. I believe the universe gives people like, of course, fucking fucking around. Or you can just say it pragmatically. I just fucking caught it from someone because I was having sex. But I really believe the universe gives you these fucking challenges because it forces you to be more fucking humble. Also, now it’s a message that I can really help a lot of men, amount of men who have reached out with STDs is fucking ridiculous, dude. Ridiculous. Can imagine who go, I feel fucked up. How do I bring this conversation up? Because I want to be with this person. And I just break this down like this. And it helps so many men just from that perspective. Also rectal dysfunction. I even say this take I say this for myself. Hey, let’s say her name is Pamela. Hey, Pamela. You don’t say this on a first date. Like, you just walk in, you’re about to say you go out for the first date and you’re like, I’ve got like, I can’t get it. Like, it’s so uncalibrated. I say this when I feel like there’s that sexual tension being built and you just know it’s going to go down and you have that feeling like, okay, we are going to sexually connect. So then when I do that and you start feeling and you maybe have already had the first kiss and then you can bring the conversation up, that’s when I do it. And then when I brought that conversation up with her, say something like, hey, I just want to let you know something. Let’s just take our time. Let’s just really enjoy, let’s explore. Let’s not take this so seriously and just really just like step by step also because when I’m with someone new, I need time for myself. Because it’s not always going to be just like this, like rock solid. It’s sometimes he just needs a little bit of time to get to know you. I say that in that way. I say it in a loose way. I say it in a conversation way. He just needs a little bit more time to get, you know, you so he can go up. So if he doesn’t sometimes go up straight away, don’t take it personally. I have no problems. It just needs a little bit of time to connect with you. And then women, most women are absolutely fucking so appreciative and understanding. Also, what I want to bring up with you about my sexual health and I’d love to know a little bit about yours. Sorry, I’ll step back. The reason you say that with the erection thing is so she doesn’t feel like, fuck, is it me? Yeah. And then she’s like, okay, cool. So then she feels connected and you just feel how feels like there’s this thing you just feel so much more connected to the person. And then I say about the herpes, I also bring up some stuff about my sexual health. I’ve actually got herpes. I don’t actually have an outbreak at the moment. And then I give her the whole spiel in the speech. What happens is she just feels like, thank you so much for bringing that up. And if you bring it up in that way, you watch how appreciative of women will be and how much like womba. Thank you. Now you’ll get the OD OD occasion where women, like, you can’t get it up. What’s wrong with you? But the best part is if a woman does that, I don’t want that fucking woman in my life. Totally.
Robbie Kramer [01:02:20]:
She’s like such a huge red flag. Black flag. It’s like, really? When you’re vulnerable and they shit on you. First of all, like you said, almost never happens. I would almost bet money on that never happening. Because it’s like you don’t find people that fucked up very often. Right?
Andrew Mioch [01:02:42]:
Yeah. And if you do, they’ve just shown their colors. I see the quality of the woman who you are behind your physical facade. I’m out.
Robbie Kramer [01:02:53]:
Right?
Andrew Mioch [01:02:55]:
Sorry.
Robbie Kramer [01:02:56]:
It’s so rare for a woman to meet a guy who’s comfortable and confident enough with himself to have that conversation with her. Right. Because very few guys are capable of doing that. They’ll just kind of not say anything, or they’ll just have the problem, and then the girl will be like, oh, shit, it must be me. And then it gets awkward. Right? And then it’s awkward. Basically, you’re not getting that next date. You’ve killed the energy there. Right?
Andrew Mioch [01:03:25]:
Yeah. And if you don’t say it and if you don’t say it, man, what happens is if you’re not going to say that you’ve got possibly an STD, it’s going to possibly restrict your erections, or you’re going to come quicker because you feel like you’re holding and hiding something from her which locks you up in your head. Fuck. I know I need to say this, but I’m not saying it. Yeah. And this is the best part. This is the soft side. So if we could look at the soft, silly savage you’re talking about the softness outside the bedroom, a lot of guys are just, like, maybe trying to be silly, or they’re trying to be savage. Like, I’ll do this to you. I’ll do that. Or they’re trying to be like, oh, everything’s fun, fun. But it’s like, this is where she can see the whole perspective and the whole gamut of who you are. And you can build such a depth of the masculine character in the man who you are. And this is where women really connect to the whole gamut of the spectrum, not just, like, one aspect of you.
Robbie Kramer [01:04:17]:
What do you say to the guy who has, like he has issues lasting long enough.
Andrew Mioch [01:04:22]:
Yeah.
Robbie Kramer [01:04:23]:
And he knows that going in, right. And he’s like, oh, fuck. And he’s having that anxiety. Is there something you can say to the girl to essentially warn her, but not really warn her? Right.
Andrew Mioch [01:04:39]:
Yeah. So you’ve already kissed. You feel it going down. She starts to touch you. There like, just want to let you know. Hey. And I say it like this. Everything is the tonality in the way you say it. You don’t want to go. Sometimes I come quickly and I’m a really bad man. And I hope you like me. Please. You say it like this, like go. Yo, she’s touching like, whoa. Easy, tiger. Hey, just want to let you know sometimes if you touch this, if you touch me down there, he’s going to pop a little bit soon just because he’s super turn on. Fuck, you are sexy. So if he pops a little bit soon, just chill and guess what? We’ll be back in action soon. So you just play it off like it’s no big deal. Or you can just keep it simple like, yeah, this champagne bottle sometimes goes off a bit quick. So if it does, we all good. So I always play it off like it’s no big deal. So you say that and then if you do come within two minutes, don’t go look down. Go, fuck, fuck. Don’t do that. Just be like, fucking hell, you are sexy. Thank God. Thank God the Lord gave me these hands to work them. So I’m going to work some magic now. So lay back and enjoy the show. So I’m never taking serious. I can always go down. That’s why I talk about I have a course, like foreplay mastery, like an unashamed plug. It’s like the reason I fucking put this together, it’s fucking 47 fucking dollars only. That because I’m like, God’s, like, what happens if I come too soon? I can’t get it up, all this shit. It’s because it’s like, go do the Fantastic Five. Learn how to be a really great kisser. Learn how to give her a pussy massage. Basically. Learn how to finger it. Learn how to make a squirt. Have a fucking sick toy that you use in the bedroom and then how to eat her out. You do that, she’s going to forget that you fucking came too fucking quick. You then you can recharge. And then if you do come to so you don’t even make it a big deal. Nothing’s ever a big deal in the bedroom. And you watch when you do that. When will be so comfortable. And if you just like, even guys, if I get an erection, they lose it. You’re just like, oh, fucking he’s going to sleep again. What the fuck? Hey, come on, target, let’s go. And the more comfortable you get. And she laughs. Like, you got to talk to him. Tell him you love him. So that makes me laugh and makes me relax. And then when she’s relaxed, we have this conversation. And then if I come too quick again, another thing I say, I’m like, whoo. God damn. He fucking went off like a frog in a sock. That’s an Australian thing to say. He popped quick today, didn’t he? Yeah. Whatever you want to say is like, the champagne bottle popped. It popped a little bit early. Like, woof. God damn. You got the poison out quickly today, didn’t you? How did you do that? This is all your fault. So they don’t pretend to blame them. It’s all your fault for being too hot.
Robbie Kramer [01:07:15]:
Love it. Those are awesome, man. I feel like it’s so important for the guys to have just like, all right, if this situation is going to happen, here’s how I’m prepared. Because it’s that anxiety that really fucks guys up, for sure.
Andrew Mioch [01:07:28]:
It’s like, if I go into this, what am I going to say if I do come too quick? And then she’ll look at me, man. Fuck, I wish I knew all this stuff back in the day. Because how many times I go into sexual encounters, I’m like, fuck, if I get into this and I can’t get it up, what am I going to say? What am I going to do if I come too fucking quick? You got this now. These are things you can use immediately. And I really hope that you do the dating work with Robbie. So then you now can actually not feel like held back. What happens when I go to the bedroom with a woman? I think this is what happens. So many men take it so seriously in the bedroom. Instead of going, let’s not be so serious in the bedroom and have a little bit more fun and just not take the whole situation so seriously, the sexual experience so seriously. And what’s actually going to go down. And then not literally, but just like, what’s going to happen in the bedroom. And when you do that, this is actually I say this behind my closed doors, and hopefully this will make sense. I always say cool back in the day, like, how to be the best she ever had. The way to be the best she’s ever had is to go into with the mindset of, like, I’m going to be the worst she’s ever had. So then you don’t actually give a fuck about you trying to perform and be this superhero in the bedroom. And by taking off that pressure of trying to do be the man, you just allow yourself to have fun and not take it so seriously.
Robbie Kramer [01:08:52]:
Sex is such a potential to deepen a relationship and have fun. There’s so many different energies of sex. And when guys get so caught up on the energy that they’re used to, probably from watching porn, it’s got to be like this. And this is what’s going to work. And this is how she’s going to come. And it would be like only having one experience of food. It’s like, you can only eat a steak, but you’re like, well, there’s like dessert and then there’s pasta. And there’s all these different energies around food, right? It’s like, no, we can only have fucking steak. So I see that a lot with guys. And I mean, that was kind of my experience, too. Because when I first got into stuff, I thought it was very much like, this is how you do it. And it was what I had seen in porn. And luckily I’m 41, so when I was growing up, porn wasn’t so readily easily available. I had to steal the scrambler box watching porn behind the popcorn on the screen.
Andrew Mioch [01:09:56]:
So he eating popcorn with one hand, jerking with the other hand.
Robbie Kramer [01:10:00]:
No, I mean, like, not the snow on the screen where it’s like you can sort of see what’s going on behind, but it’s like blurry.
Andrew Mioch [01:10:08]:
Yeah, popcorn is the wrong word. Okay, that makes sense.
Robbie Kramer [01:10:15]:
So a follow up question. So if someone has herpes or listening to this now, they kind of know how to have that conversation. Is there anything you would recommend in terms of preventing transmission or medicine? Obviously, I’m sure there’s lots of people should consult a doctor or whatnot, but from what I’ve heard is that most people can just kind of get on. I think it’s Valtrex or something like that. And a lot of people just never have an outbreak again or it’s very manageable and then you can just not have sex when you have an outbreak, basically. And the risk of actually spreading that is close to zero. Is that all correct?
Andrew Mioch [01:11:03]:
Yeah. I’ve been with my partners and having unprotected sex, and they haven’t caught it from me. And there was a partner I was with for two years, there was another partner I was with for four months and nothing man. And I’m a hippie at heart anyway, so I don’t actually do pharmaceuticals. And if I feel like you feel like itchy starting that feeling, you start maybe seeing a few things. I just won’t have sex. I’ll just tell my partner, like, hey, let’s just wait a week and that’s fine. And I just acknowledge that it sounds so fucking woo woo. But mate, it’s connected to the woman I’m with, and it’s connected to if I actually want to be if I don’t want to have sex with a woman. I remember when I was galvancing around, I got an outbreak because I was just being fucking disingenuous with my sexual connections with a few women. I didn’t really want to be there, so I got an outbreak. My body’s like, no, you’re being basically a dickhead and you got an outbreak. I’ve been with a woman now for about a year and a bit. I haven’t got an outbreak once. The reason is over a year. I haven’t got an outbreak once because I just feel so aligned. This is why the head, heart and body connection is so important. And if you get an outbreak, cool, you can go, okay, what’s going on? Did I eat too much sugar? But I’ve had days where I ate fuck tons of sugar. I never got an outbreak. Or I had Christmas birthday celebrations and then I always used to link it to food. It’s not it’s so much deeper than just the physical elements. So I don’t know too much about the actual doctrine aspects of things, but I’ve just seen how I respond. And I’ve spoken to other people who have herpes, and they’ll say the exact same thing that I’m saying, and then they’ll go, okay. It is deeply, emotionally linked as well. And same with your erections. And I see it same with erection. Your erections are linked to your fucking heart and how you’re feeling about a woman. Like, if I told you right now, Robbie, get an erection, you’d be like, well, if you did, we’d have another conversation, another podcast. But chances are if I said, get it up right now, Robbie, you’re not going to. But then what’s the difference when they’re with a hot woman? And that’s the thing as well, guys like, oh, she’s hot. I should be able to get up. No, it’s not a woman’s external hotness, which is going to create direction. It’s usually her fucking sexual vitality. And what I mean by that, it’s her sexual essence. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, but you could see a woman who’s far less attractive than just like if we just talk about a scale, but then you’re like, fuck, I’m just so drawn to her. It’s usually because she is so comfortable and confident in her sexual energy and she’s so connect to her body. Then you could have a fucking exceptionally, let’s say the ten out of ten woman in your head physically, only physically, but then you might not be able to get it up just because she’s so disconnected from her own sexual essence. It’s like, oh, don’t touch me there. Okay, whatever it may be. Now, I’m only making generalized overview. I’m not saying that all very attractive women and vice versa, but I hope that analogy makes sense because I’ve had it for myself. I’ve had very women who I wouldn’t find who I wouldn’t usually be attracted to, but I was just so drawn to because of their sexual essence.
Robbie Kramer [01:14:15]:
Oh, yeah. I mean, I’ve had some experiences where just like the way a woman smells or I remember having this experience with a girl I met in Budapest where the way she kissed me was so radically different. And it was like a mixture of how she kissed me and what she tasted like. It was just like something in my brain went, I was like, that’s wasn’t she wasn’t the hottest girl ever. She was cute. But for whatever that happened there, whatever sort of physical reaction, she went up like four points on the scale. There’s such an energetic component of this. It’s interesting. So I actually have a personal question, and I’ve asked this actually in my group, and I’ve shared about this. And it’s kind of embarrassing to talk about considering the amount of experience that I’ve had, but just so my journey with sort of like sexual dysfunction when I first got into this stuff, I was like the sort of premature ejaculator, you could say. And I was able to combat that and essentially using the techniques, you talk a lot about those in your products slowing down foreplay. And I got to the point where it was no longer a problem, especially when I was drinking and partying and anytime I was in the zone, never an issue. I was in full control. I could last. And then what I noticed was that my problem shifted to a different problem. And that’s when I was in a relationship for a long enough time where then the premature ejaculation would come back. So it was like only with long term partners, even when the sex was amazing for the first couple of months. And then once we kind of settled into a sort of committed or a more regular thing, then the premature ejaculation shit came back. And it wouldn’t really matter if I was doing foreplay or slowing down. It would still kind of resurface. So I’m curious if you have any have you heard of that before?
Andrew Mioch [01:16:31]:
Yeah, 100%. So I’m only speculating here with that because the reason I say the speculation for premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, because it is so multifaceted when people say it’s one thing and that’s it, it’s not. I actually have a whole team of people that go into depth about this. We go through mental, emotional and physical a huge assessment this. That’s why it’s such an in depth topic. Like most guys, I can just help with just a few little things, like the slowing down and breathing and different aspects of that. But there are some harder cases when it comes to that. Now, with what you’re given those things.
Robbie Kramer [01:17:12]:
It has to be emotional, right? There’s obviously some trigger, right? Because why would it be normal and then a problem, right?
Andrew Mioch [01:17:21]:
I got you. Yeah, I got you. I’m pretty sure I know what this is. And what happens is how relaxed can you be in the bedroom with the womb? That’s the number one thing. When you’re relaxed, you will last longer. You’ll get that erection. And because you feel connected and emotionally connected to the woman, great. The thing is, you might have gone to this connection with these women, and then you had nothing to lose. You’re like, Ah, because you’re Robbie, the fucking dude who had as many fucking events to go to and as much women as you wanted. So you’re like, oh, it’s another woman if she doesn’t want to be. So you got this thing called the Last Chance Mindset, which basically means, like, yeah, if she doesn’t come back, it’s okay. No problems. And then you keep doing that over and over, and like, oh, great. She’s a great woman. But now what I possibly see is you canceled out all the other women in your life, and now it’s just you and her. And what happens is, fuck, you’ve got more to lose. So then that anxiety hits again. Like, fuck, tension. Tension here, tension in your throat, tension. Your chest and then all tense there, instead of going, oh, fuck, okay, I’m aware of this. This is my one and only, so to speak. And if this fucks up, I just can’t run off and get another woman. So then you’re back to all a.
Robbie Kramer [01:18:42]:
Different version of the anxiety. That’s interesting.
Andrew Mioch [01:18:44]:
Yeah. So, yeah, there’s two aspects of it. If I go down this route and I’m with her longtime, oh my God, now she’s me and her. Or it’s like, am I going to be able to get this up? And if I can’t get this up, I’m a fucking loser, I’m a failure. And then it’s only momentary. Or it could be long term. So there’s two different aspects of it as well.
Robbie Kramer [01:19:08]:
Right. Or the double whammy. It’s like, I’m not going to get it up, but if I do get it up, I’m going to come super fast.
Andrew Mioch [01:19:17]:
100% back in the day. Say your example. I’d come too quick with women who I’ve just met because you’re nervous of meeting her on the first night. Like, oh my God, it’s a new woman, so I’m going to come really quick. But then now you got the opposite. Like, I’m with this woman long term. Now I’m I’m going to come really quick because I can’t actually meet other women. At the start, you’re like, oh my God, I might never see a woman ever again. Like guys who are more in scarcity, I might never see a woman again. So they’re more nervous and they go, I want to perform. So then they get more in the head. So that was what I was trying to say before. Hence, a little bit of my confusion just then. But yeah, that’s it. And then that’s why it’s so subjective to the person where it’s at. So then possibly what you’ve got going on, man, if you’re saying it’s for now, it could be more to lose. And then when you get in contact with that part of yourself in your mind, like, cool, let’s sit with this for a little bit and what comes up through this, and you get more relaxed going, okay, how can I deepen my relationship and my connection with my partner? And by doing that purely with the sexual aspect of it, you can have that conversation with her purely from what we said today. And that will alleviate a lot of the just even the conversation alone will alleviate with the anxiety. This is probably why I might come a little bit quick, because I feel like I’ve got there’s no other woman I’m going to be with, just you. And now I feel like I have to perform sometimes because we’ve been pushed in our head so much to perform. And now you can’t go elsewhere to go, oh, fuck, this one fucked up. You can’t do that, man. You’re married to an incredible woman who I know you love dearly. So that’s the difference.
Robbie Kramer [01:20:51]:
Well, the good news is I’ve had the conversation. Not a big deal. When it happens, I just own it and it’s fine. But I think what you just said in terms of because I felt like there’s some anxiety there and I couldn’t put my finger on it. And I think that I’m really curious just to kind of meditate on that because that might solve the problem. And if it doesn’t, I’ll hit you up. But I feel like that’s a very big sort of, AHA unlock moment I just had because, like, oh, it’s just the reverse side of the anxiety because there’s different stakes, but the stakes are on the back end.
Andrew Mioch [01:21:29]:
I don’t want to intrude at all. This is for you to have a contemplate. And everything may be completely great, but usually if I couldn’t get it up with a woman in a relationship, mine was more like sometimes couldn’t get it up. It’s like there was something unsaid in the relationship, or maybe there was something unsaid inside or outside the bedroom. And maybe if you’re consistently coming quickly and beforehand, you weren’t. And it’s not like, okay, you come to peace with the fact like, okay, this is my long term partner. I’m cool with that. But then maybe there’s something you’re not sexually completely fulfilled with X, Y and Z. Or maybe you want to explore something more. Or maybe you want to have a conversation of something you want to do in the bedroom with your partner. That could be one aspect. And if that feels or there’s something outside the bedroom you haven’t said. So the more that this is why I’m like, how the fuck can I be more? It goes back to this concept, authenticity again. So my authentic here. So there’s that clear line of communication. It seems like you have a beautiful clear line with your partner already, then clearer in your heart. That’s why I’m like when I feel open in my heart connect, I’m like, oh, God, I don’t feel like there’s anything I’m holding back from her and she’s not holding back from me. And even the micro things. And this is when I’m with this woman. Now, I got a massage the other day, man, for example. And I was with my partner. I’m in Australia. She’s overseas at the moment. And I said to her, I’m like, I got a massage. I got a massage the other day. And then this woman, she was grazing her hands through the inside of my leg, and she kind of touched my dick a little bit, just like when she did that. And then she’s like, do you want a happy ending? I’m like, no, I don’t. But I told my partner all of that because I know if I went to the relationship with her because I just like getting massages completely naked because it feels fucking great. But then I just want to tell them, like, hey, this woman kind of touched it when she was inside my leg. Because I know if I held that back, I’d feel like this micro disconnect from us when we’re in that sexual connection, even though I didn’t do anything. It’s just more like that complete transparency of the conversation, which allows me to even be more rock hard, more deeply connected and filler. And we can both feel deeper pleasure. Because guys like, oh, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her. That is such a fucking retarded thing to say, which I used to say a lot back in the day. I’m definitely not saying, bro, you’re in that category at all. Maybe back in the day, like me when we said we’re a bit more.
Robbie Kramer [01:23:51]:
It can’t hurt her, but it’s going to hurt you, which is going to hurt her. Right. Honesty and the truth. It’s like we connect through the truth, right? And if you’re withholding truth and you know that you can’t really be present in that conversation, does that mean go and tell her everything that’s on your mind? Probably not, right? There’s obviously a boundary in align with this stuff, but if there’s something that you’re not saying and it’s creating this feeling or this reaction in your body, that’s a really good place to look. I feel like because I know from my own personal experience, that stuff used to really cause problems for me until I got comfortable expressing those truths and having those difficult conversations and finding the words to have the conversations or approaching it in the right way. Because it’s like once you’re in your head, you’re fucked.
Andrew Mioch [01:24:42]:
That’s it. And Big Pharma plays into that. That’s it. When they realized that I forgot what it was, the 19 something, they found that they had the blue pill for Viagra as soon as they found that. Viagra. Do you know how much research they put into as soon as they found Viagra? Do you know how much research they’ve done on male fucking sexuality and stuff like that since then? Or like improving viagra.
Robbie Kramer [01:25:14]:
My guess is a lot. Wait, to improve it? To improve the product? Yeah, improve oh, so you’re saying none interesting. Because they’re like, oh, we have a fix and we’re good.
Andrew Mioch [01:25:28]:
We have a fix. Why the fuck do we need to change it? We just worked out our business model. So it’s all the business model? Yeah. Viagra will short term Viagra will get you hard because it opens up the blood receptors down there and sends a lot of blood. But then I’ve been on Cialis and I couldn’t get it up because I was so psychologically disconnected from that. So they don’t talk about the head and heart connection to your genitalia. They just talk about like, here it is. We’re going to fucking emit so much blood flow from that area. And then you get dependent on this thing, and then you’re actually having unconscious sex. And what I mean by unconscious sex you’re having sex with maybe women who you don’t really want to be there, you’re not really feeling it, or you’re not addressing the elephant in the room, or you’re not, as you are so deeply aware, bro, like, looking into what’s going on. Maybe it’s something I haven’t said in the relationship, or maybe it’s not from the conversation we just had today. Or maybe it’s like, I need to talk more about X, Y and Z, and this is for other men as well, but instead of going here and coming from the heart, you know when you have those conversations where you just feel fucking, you feel like a weight’s been lifted off your chest. I don’t want to go to it’s just simple like that. You feel like that weight. I’m like, Fuck, I just feel close to her again. That’s where you should feel. And then you’ll have no problems getting an erection. I see that as my brahm, right? If I’m having a disagreement with my partner and I don’t have an erection, as soon as I feel, like, closed off and disconnected, but then I just slow down, connect with it. And then when I feel like all that tension is dissipated because we talked about everything, I just automatically get an erection because I’m like, I want to fuck again. So I see that as the barometer of where I’m at with the connection with my partner. And then I’m like, if I’m not getting an erection, I’m really fucking pissed. I’m going to be looking away, or I’m just not going to be wanting to engage in that.
Robbie Kramer [01:27:15]:
I’m sure you could speak to this because this is another kind of interesting experience I had that I was always curious about. So when I first started having threesomes, right? Then it’s like the same sexual dysfunction that I had when I was first trying to meet more women. So I killed the premature ejaculation thing with new girls, solved that, right? And then I had the couldn’t get it up problem, but only in threesomes and group sex situations, right? So it’s like I did all this work to create the threesome, right? And then it’s like, well, shit, now my junk is not going to work. This is fucking great, right? I slowly overcame that by just taking the pressure off because I was able to do it more often, so it became less of a problem. But I realized that if I just had some Viagra on me, I wouldn’t even have to take it. If I just knew I had it, then it wouldn’t be an issue. But if I didn’t have it, then I’d be in trouble. So it’s like the link in my brain was fucking crazy. So it’s like the placebo effect. I don’t know what you want to call it, but there’s obviously such a powerful brain dick connection there. It’s like I didn’t even have to take the fucking pill. Just having it was like, okay, I’m good now. That’s such a good what do you make of that?
Andrew Mioch [01:28:38]:
I completely agree. It’s psychological, man. Most of the time, it’s psychological and emotional. And if you told me right now to go to a sex party and fucking woman in front of guys, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t get it up. I just don’t want to do it. If you really psychologically don’t want to do it, it’s not going to happen. Or if you really want to do it, it’s the same effect because you’re in fucking fight or flight. It’s the exact same thing. So guys, like, most guys at sex parties are taking Viagra or they’re taking shit to get it up. Dude, that’s the thing.
Robbie Kramer [01:29:07]:
Porn stars are getting injected constantly. Yeah, I’ve interviewed multiple porn stars, and they’ve all except for Timo Hardy. I’ve gotten to sex parties with him. He’s just like a freak of nature. But the other guys, they’re like, yeah, it’s their job. So they have to be able to essentially come on command in a lot of the stuff. But they’re saying guys are constantly injecting themselves with stuff to keep them hard because they’re in these scenes for hours and hours and hours. So it’s like, what you’re seeing on porn isn’t real. This isn’t, like normal shit.
Andrew Mioch [01:29:45]:
Yeah, it’s crazy, man. I haven’t been in the porn industry, and I don’t plan to anytime soon at all. Good.
Robbie Kramer [01:29:53]:
Way to ruin the sex.
Andrew Mioch [01:29:55]:
Yeah. I don’t want him bro people like, Why don’t you do some porn? Or do an only fans account? It’s just not my vibe. I’m not that guy. I just want to give relatable concise sexuality advice. I don’t want you see me fucking a woman on camera. I don’t need to do that. I know a guy who actually runs a company, and all he does is make women squirt. He uploads it all to YouTube. No porn sites, makes a woman squirt. And that’s his whole business model. It’s hilarious the stuff you see in this world, but yeah, I just know with the erection stuff, it’s all connected, man. It’s all connected to your heart and all to your mind and yeah, for sure. If you have the placebo, I’ve got it there just in case I need it. So then you got that confidence as well. And I wouldn’t be able to get it up. Like, if I was at a sex party right now, you’re like, Go fuck this. The thing is, I know deep down, I don’t want to be there. But when I was nervous back in the day, sometimes I wouldn’t be able to get it up either, because I’m like, I felt like I had to. A lot of the times, I wouldn’t even have sex at sex parties. I’d just be playing around with other women, making them squirt, doing things, and backing women up on double enders or seeing other women fuck each other with strap ons, et cetera, like that. I’m like, that stuff doesn’t interest me too much at the moment. But with what you’re saying, I’ve actually got this really great woman and we’re going to be connecting and be looking for a third to join our connection. I don’t want to have tons and tons of threesomes with I’m like, I’m not down for that. I actually just want to find really one cool woman and dive deep and have a deep emotional connection with her and go on fucking cool adventures. That’s what I’m aiming for. And we’ve discussed that together. And we’re both on the same page. And I think the thing about threesomes, when guys are in this position, I’ve been there before, oh, I’m having a threesome. I can’t wait to do this. But if a woman feels that thirstiness and they feel like that you’re just doing it for you, it needs to be about her and she needs to be fucking into it. If not, it will fuck up the dynamic. Or you’ll be in the dynamic and she’ll be like pulling back and she’ll be like, I don’t really want to be here. Or after it, she’s just going to be like, I feel really uncomfortable. And it was kind of crap. But then she did it for you. Never been in a connection with a woman where she’s doing it just for you to please you. It’s just going to end sideways. Yeah, let’s not dive into that. But that could be a huge fucking topic about how many men actually, I’m having a threesome and I’m doing it. It’s just all about me, right? Yeah.
Robbie Kramer [01:32:18]:
I mean, it’s like one of those things that at least for me, I remember I had that on my bucket list for so long. And finally I was in Vegas. I was with my girlfriend, I think I was 27, 28 years old. And we met this other girl at Dre’s after Hours nightclub. And she literally came up to us. She approached us in the bar, and within the first 15, 20 seconds of the conversation, she’s like, so what are you guys thinking tonight? Like threesome. And we’re both like, we had already discussed that we wanted to have one, right? So we’re both like, yeah. And then we ended up losing her in the club for some time. So we’re both trying to find her, and then we finally find her. Then we got to go back to the Bellagio, which is probably like a 20 minutes walk down the Strip. Well, no, it’s not too bad, but it’s like across the street from Dre’s, but you have to kind of go through these tunnels. It’s Vegas, right? And while we’re walking back, I swear I get cockblocked by five or six different dudes because I’m like, with two cute girls and it’s five or six in the morning and everyone’s drunk and this guy’s pulling her away. And then I got to get that and this guy’s pulling her away. And then finally I get them both back upstairs and I was awkward as fuck and overly excited. And then I had issues, I couldn’t get it up. And then eventually I did, but it was like I finally crossed it off the list. But I was so in my head about it. Just because I was fantasizing about that moment for so long. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to guys about having a similar experience or the parties I used to throw. Sometimes crazy shit would go down, but then the poor guy would be sitting there and it’s just not working for him. So I’d have to go and be like, dude, okay, have you tried this, have you tried that? Coaching, trying to coach him through it. It’s always just happening between the ears.
Andrew Mioch [01:34:14]:
It is.
Robbie Kramer [01:34:17]:
Tough situations but very fast.
Andrew Mioch [01:34:20]:
The worst part is when it’s not up and they’re like, come on buddy. But then you’re in that self fucking cycle. So yeah, I hear you man. And I love the conversation we’ve had today because just what most people are not talking about. And man, how vulnerable you went about your own personal situation as well. Like fucking respect dude. But I know that’s just how you roll. Anyway.
Robbie Kramer [01:34:41]:
Well, you went first man. I appreciate know, I’m sure people watching are like, all right, these guys are not afraid to talk about what’s going on. And it’s like, well I know someone’s going to be watching this and what are they going to do? They’re going to be like, oh, Robbie has this problem. No one gives a fuck about me. No one cares. They got their own shit to deal with, right? Or it’s like, oh my god, Andrew has herpes. Like, who gives a shit, right? If people are so worried about what other people are thinking, it’s like no one gives a fuck.
Andrew Mioch [01:35:06]:
They’re just worried. The chances are the people who reacting like that need this message the most anyway. Or they’ll probably have that in the future for themselves anyway. Totally. And I really hope that everyone the reason we have at SQL is to elevate the sexual well being of humanity so men can have those experiences that they’ve always wanted and have the experiences with women. Because sex is so beautiful, so playful, so fun, so enjoyable. Goodness me. And that’s why I’m on that journey of looking for a woman with my partner to have that. That’s where I’m at. That’s why I subjectively want maybe in two years I’ll be, hey Robbie, I’m looking to get married. Or I just don’t know. All I know this is where I’m at, right? And by me sharing authenticity of that’s where I’m at with my sexual journey. That’s where I’m at. With all the stuff across the board. I have no problems. Because I think guys just think you have to be this man in the bedroom and you always rock hard or you never have any problems, or you just fuck like an absolute how many guys, man I talk to on a daily basis can’t get it up, coming too quickly, getting walked over by their partner. There’s no sexual polarity. They just feel disconnected from their whole relationship. They feel like they’re suffering in silence. There’s no one to talk to. They’re having fucking terrible sex, and they just think that’s like that for the rest of their life. They make all this money in their business, but then they neglect their fucking woman and she cheats. It’s just endless. It’s fucking endless. And for us, having this conversation, it brings awareness to actually the truth behind the fucking eight ball opposed to trying to hide behind it, which so many men do. And if you’re hiding behind this and you’re feeling fucked up and you’re not broken, you’re not alone. You’re definitely not alone. And it breaks my heart to see how many men don’t have the support unit to someone to reach out to, to really dive into this and feel like, oh, someone’s got my back. So I hope even just from today, that they felt a little bit more connected and not so alone or not so like that they’re this one in a billion fucking person. No, all this stuff.
Robbie Kramer [01:37:24]:
You’re not a special snowflake.
Andrew Mioch [01:37:26]:
Yeah, definitely not at all, man.
Robbie Kramer [01:37:30]:
So if you are that guy listening, how can a guy get help from you? Where can people find your stuff? Because your message is so valuable and so important and you really are creating such a difference on this planet by healing these deep. This is trauma. If you’re carrying around this sexual trauma, your life is going to be significantly worse versus when you can get past this stuff. The amount of just how much better life can be. It’s fucking night or day, dude, your message is so valuable. So how can guys find you? What can they do to handle these things?
Andrew Mioch [01:38:14]:
I recommend this. Go check out Sexual Quantum Leap YouTube channel. And if you connect with that man, then there’s so many different things that you can go. And we’ve got so many free things that they can look into. So go check the channel. That’s it. Sexual Quantum Leap. Enjoy, explore, and go from there. And all I want you to do is this. Do this for you. Your sexual education and becoming that man you’ve always wanted to be. Do this for you. And just take that time and don’t let anyone else tell you this is how you should do or how you should act like be you. Do you have those conversations that say the things that are hard to say and ask the questions that are hard to fucking ask. And you watch how much so many things will change inside and outside the bedroom for you.
Robbie Kramer [01:39:04]:
Love it, brother. Dude, it’s been so amazing. Really enjoyed this conversation, and I think it’s hopefully been very valuable to you guys listening. So thanks so much for coming on and sharing all your wisdom, brother.
Andrew Mioch [01:39:18]:
Hey, I thank you so much for the opportunity. It’s always a pleasure, bro.
Robbie Kramer [01:39:23]:
I hope you enjoyed this week’s episode. If you’re new to the show and digging our content, please leave us a five star review on itunes, Stitcher, YouTube, wherever you listen or watch. But if you’re not really digging it, go ahead. Just don’t leave us any review at all. That’d be great. If you’re feeling a little bit stuck or you just want to optimize and step up your game, we’ve opened up a few spots in our inner confidence community. We’re accepting applications. If you want to join our select group of men and experience the radical power of accountability, cross everything off your sexual bucket list and just become a beast who gets more stuff done. To learn more and apply, go to start innerconfidence.com.
Andrew Mioch [01:39:59]:
You Sam.
